Debt mutual support thread number 6 ....... start the new year with a clear purpose and keep moving forwards even by tiny steps

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last five threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2193736-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-5-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-is-NOT-an-oncoming-train?

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads, new and experienced, are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

A bit down as didn't get a contract I went for. Got beaten by a recent graduate, so feeling a bit like maybe with 20 years experience am I on scrap heap already?

On the plus side many of the agencies say they can find me work of some description so even if I have to do something different to my line of work I will do ok. Also caught up with a former work contact who has said he may be able to find me some freelance contracts and some of them I could do from home!

But all told we are slightly better off financially without the debts we had end of last year and also may have a little money coming from FIL. Better than anything else I feel hugely more confident having come out of difficult work situation.

at Fairy meal planning on the loo!

So my 0% credit card arrived this morning. Looking forwards to getting in from work so I can pay off the outfit store card with it. Not that it's clearing any of the debt as such but it will reduce the amount I pay back overall being 0% instead of 20something%.
It's a step forwards but I'm feeling sorry for myself and having a 'I hate being in this situation' kind of day today!

favourite light at end of the tunnel though, look at it more of how much you're saving in interest than how much is left to pay. that's how i'm finding my way through my credit card debt. i honestly have no idea what i actually spent the 4k on and its so depressing to know that it was probably useless stuff in my single whimsical days :(

fairy wonderful news about the toilet - its the little things :) and new towels and showerhead will make for a wonderful shower experience!!

baddz I have given up letting dp go shopping as even with a list he seems to get excited and go over the top and leave out half the list things as he doesnt see why id ask for them (he forgets i homecook everything so when i write flour its for bread and yorkie buds not just to hide in the cupboard!)

well, Monday again, back to the grindstone - got a weekend in Amsterdam booked for the 1st weekend in feb and was paid for like a year ago so really looking forward to that, think if i'm careful i can manage the weekend on not much spends - xmas and bday money seems to be enough to cover it.

so happy i discovered here, i feel like if i want to spend anything i can log on here and get a telling off or a disappointing look and it stops me haha :) like having mum around!

fairylea
spending on stuff that will last you ages and ages is not too bad.

Descaling stuff : soak it in vinegar. Pop the shower head into a bowl of vinegar and leave overnight - bingo scale gone.
Vinegar is great at getting marks of tiles too and MUCH cheaper than posh descalers.

baddz
£3k paid off in a year is really cool

favourite
transfer everything you can onto the 0% and then pay as much off as possible as then you are paying all capital and no interest.

Is it irrational to want to cry after DH took the bags for cash4clothes to the bloody charity shop by mistake because he doesn't bloody listen bloody man?!! I know it's only a few quid but I've been purging clothes to get a good amount and he's gone and given it away for nothing!

He's got a second interview from last Friday,this Thursday, in Frankfurt! He better get something out of it, I'm fast reaching my saturation point of being the only one doing something about the mess we're in, and I'm finding my view of him is changing and I'm seeing him as a scruffy, lazy git who can't even do housework properly. Today is not feeling very positive.

Fairy if I pop for a wee, the cat bangs on the door! Seriously, I get no peace in my house ever from man, child or beast!

Fairy a spend neutral month is better than an increased debt month, and a good shower and towels are those kind of things that just make you feel better in general - crap towels just make you feel poor I think!
Badz - why is it men (sorry big generalisation coming here) will edit shopping lists without stopping to think that we actually put it on there because we bloody need it! And then buy ten things we don't need at all, but that add at least £30 to the shopping bill....sigh...
Favourite seriously, work out how much interest you've just saved yourself by getting that 0% card - it will make you smile for days! I bargain hunted massively for all our baby stuff, and knowing I managed to save nearly £1500 makes me so happy!
Good and bad day here - good news is DH has given me another £900 for the corporation tax savings, so we're nearly a third of the way there already, with more to come from gigs at end of January. Bad news is I ordered the wrong dog food by accident, and opened it, so can't send it back, and gave some to the dog to try it and it made him sick, so have had to spend out on chicken and rice for his stomach, and a new £45 bag of dog food. DH was incredibly understanding bearing in mind how I've been banging on about not wasting money.....

Ah jonty...so you know my Dh!? :)

jonty could you sell on the bag of dog food? Hope your dog feels better soon.
Just transferred the balance over to the 0% card

Didn't really think that things could get worse at the moment for us-but,as well as DH not being able to claim jobseekers,he can't claim Employment and Income Support either-because apparently DH didn't pay enough NI contributions from 2013-14 (he was unemployed for 5 months).We were told he could claim it because due to his arthritis, he's not really well enough to work so ESI is paid instead.
So DH's income is nil-we've gone from him bringing in £380 per week , to nothing.My money does pay most of the bills, but we lived on DH's money-food,clothes,petrol etc.It's shit-makes me wonder why we bother working in the first place.Would love to know how these people manage to claim when they've never worked a day in their lives!!
Still waiting to hear from tax credits and PIP.
It's got to get better sometime soon......

hooker DLA - he needs to apply for it asap. This not means tested.

www.gov.uk/dla-disability-living-allowance-benefit/overview

You can get a lot of guidance from support groups to fill in the form. If he has arthritis, he should be able to find some help through one.

Hi can I join? Since my husband died leaving me working part time with 2 young children to bring up alone (my parents and in laws are also dead) I have had to take out a mortgage, 2 bank loans and a loan from my sister. I'm haemorraging money on childminding whilst I'm at work. I'm desperately trying to give my children, especially my eldest some treats in her life after all the deaths that have avalanched on us. But the debt thing. Often I don't have the energy to be frugal. I'm going to read all the tips and advice here I promise. I'm so in admiration of the stories of clearing debts because I know how hard it is. Please let me join your thread and be inspired.

Hi there crying welcome to this supportive corner of the site.
I guess the one, teeny, silver lining in the cloud is that childcare bills drop over time as kids get older and more self sufficient.
It might be worth you doing a mathematical check on whether you'd actually be better of by reducing hours till the kids are a bit older to save on child care ....

Thanks, I can't reduce my hours any further, since I'm on a term time contract and oh boy does my new boss give me a hard time. I think that my problem is that I am too tired to be disciplined budget wise, and I've had some stiff repair bills to pay (think 4 figure sums). On the plus side I have become more proficient at household repairs. Bodged in appearance certainly, but currently holding together. I've also tried selling a few things on ebay, and plan to do a bit more. Seems like every time I've been frugal the children grow (maybe because I've made an effort to cook good food) and then I have to buy some new clothes!

Crying
oh boy does my new boss give me a hard time
What an utter bastard. Is he aware of your situation?
How old are your kids - as in how much longer will you have the stinker childcare bills for?

Crying Been there with the shit boss. Can you look for another job? Is HR aware of your situation? My boss was a prize bastard when DD was sick, but I knew that there was only so much he could get away with. Didn't stop it being stressful though. You are, of course, very welcome here.

Blimey.
Just spent £30 in asda - I only went in for 4 things!
Sending the DVDs back today (£28)
I have listed something on e bay which I hope will get enough (£20) for a haircut for me...I look a bit like a scarecrow ATM!

Baddz so easily done - subtle brainwashing sucks you in...

I'm at home with poorly DD so am making a plan of ACTION (how exciting!).

Have decided that rather than pin all my hopes on expensive loft conversion (that will take 7 years or more to save for) need to work with what we have for the time being. The plan is to move the boiler from the box room into the kitchen (where it was originally until some idiot suggested that they stick it in a cupboard upstairs without thinking of noise repercussions for poor DS... ). This might cost a bit, but still a lot less that converting a whole loft. I will then be investigating how to make a cabin bed over the bulkhead. This, and decorating the hall, will be my projects for the year (and tidying the garden).

Will aim to landscape garden next year. I say landscape, I mean get a new lawn and a bit of a patio built - it's tiny .

I've been holding back spending any money because of debt, but our house is not usable to us in the way that it is. I think this plan will allow me to make some changes within our budget and income. I plan to put nothing on credit.

I want a loft conversion, but this way (an continuing to overpay the mortgage) means it will be a viable option for us when DS is a teenager. If I do it now, it will be another whacking loan.

So, I need dreaded MOT out of the way in Feb (car is 9 this year) and then start to get some quotes for the boiler. I feel pleased I have come up with a plan, because otherwise we just spend another year sitting in the middle of it all feeling fed up.

Should add, boiler is in boxroom where DS should be, but it's too noisy. He currently sleeps in our room which is not ideal. I want loft conversion to give him a decent room, but sorting out boxroom properly should give us a workable solution for now.

kinky just a note, dp is an electrician working in heating installations and thinks that if the boiler has pipework leading to kitchen already and generally just needs shifting it might not be too big of a job, said you should be able to get 3 or 4 quotations for free just by calling around, might give you an idea?

Sounds like a Good plan kinky :)
You need your home to be a useable space, otherwise, what's the point?
Anyway...I need you all to talk me out of starting an access to nursing course in September!
I can't afford it, and it will send my stress levels soaring no doubt and no idea how I will fit it round my dc.
Ok.....GO!
:)

Kinky

Flow energy are rolling out a boiler that generates electric while its using gas. There's a variety of ways of financing it but your tied in for 5 years.

A business I work for has installed one independently so maybe Flow aren't the only people doing them.

Just a thought.

Kinky that sounds like a good idea re the boiler. Having been through the total nightmare that is getting an extension done (with us it was a huge long kitchen) I would rather personally stick pins in my eyes than do that again.... If relocating the boiler gives you the living space you need at least for the time being I would definitely do that.

Baddz if the nursing course is going to provide you with a long term source of income maybe it would be a good thing? A good investment?

Thanks all . Lexi will certainly get a few quotes. The original pipework was for the old boiler. We had a new system put in and relocated it all about 6 years ago now. However, there is still pipework there, it's just a matter of seeing if it would be compatible.

Fluffy will have a look, although boiler is still quite new.