Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

a little girl.

I appreciate everybody's advice and kind words.

All around here, where I am, there rearly are children going hungry and people without homes.

Oooh no! Miscommunication, and stress, please don't think we can't support you.
For some of us, numbers are really helpful but maybe you just need to think about what might happen.
If a debt adviser is ringing soon, will that be the opportunity to ask how soon a plan can be set up, and when creditors might stop ringing? Maybe that's your first step, to get some breathing space?

Got to wait a an eternity a week for call from debt advisor. They are going to help my find a solution apparently. They will deal with the people I owe money too. I have to gather all the information together and look at a monthly essentials budget. Which I have done.

Sorry I didn't mean to do this to your thread.

Floaty best of luck with the debt advisor hopefully things seem better this morning.

Well a week seems like bloody ages when you're waiting. If you get calls can you tell then you have made contact with step change and you will be contacting them again shortly and could they note that on their systems?

Agree with nerf. Do not engage with them. If they have your bank account details and are taking money without asking you get a new bank account, transfer all income to that and do not give anyone the details.

Also contact Christians in poverty (even if not your religion or non religious) they are very helpful.

Floaty...you have had some really good advice. But you need to stop being so defensive. All of us here have debt. And some of us have gotten out of debt permanently.
CAP are very good. Ignore the religious stuff :)
The phone calls must be very upsetting.
Can you ask to change your phone number?
Agree with fairy...do not engage with them. If they phone, hang up.
Good luck x

Floaty I haven't talked about it here because this was some years ago now but my ex dh left me with 30k worth of debt and just literally disappeared overnight. Haven't seen him since. All debt stupidly in my name. It took me a long time to sort it out and I had been made redundant 6 months prior to him leaving so I had no money coming in apart from income support and other benefits. I was in a bit of a different situation because I had a house to downsize from but the market was very slow and I still had to try to survive in the meantime! And then I didn't know what was going to happen. The lone parent advisor at the job centre was very helpful and helped me a lot and also cap and cab helped freeze the loans etc. Like you I was scared to answer the phone or look at the post so I just changed my number and also just redirected everything to cap (Christians against poverty). I opened a new bank account and paid all my money in there. Took me years to get sorted.

And here I am .... years on and in debt again! Just for a much smaller amount..but it frightens me and I want to control it so it doesn't get like before.

We've all been there. Please don't feel scared.

Yes - marriage left me with 10k of credit card debt. I can't waste more energy on him though. He's still very much around but a low earner.

There's loads of ways debt is run up. The biggest thing is stopping and facing it.

It's a huge deal, but luckily you'll not be out on the street!

Yes absolutely.

Floaty
Sorry I scared you a bit with numbers but do not go away. Lurk if you like but please don't leave.

Being in debt is awful. Getting into debt is easy. Getting out of debt is hard.
But its made easier if you understand how debt works.

Lenders do not make their money by getting you to pay back the amount you borrowed.
They make their money by lending to those who cannot afford to repay promptly and then charging interest.

If you borrow
£100 with an interest rate of 10% per year, you will repay
£110 if you repay in one year,
£115 if you repay in two years,
£120 if you repay in three years.
The amount borrowed is the same, but the profit for the bank gets bigger.

With payday loans, the interest rates are higher.
If you pay £20 per month, you are paying at a guess £15 in interest and £5 off the actual amount you borrowed.
If you pay £10 a month, you are paying £10 off the interest, nothing off the actual amount and the £5 of missed interest gets added to the loan for next time
so you are falling further and further behind.

Hopefully the debt people can get the interest frozen, at which point you have the chance to get the amount borrowed paid off as fast as you can.

And then look at what you consider to be "essential" and decide if it can wait till after the loan is lower.

Read back through the three earlier threads - as they are full of ideas and support and will help pass the time till you get face to face support.

Hi Floaty.

Please don't leave the thread!!

I too become scared and overwhelmed with the numbers. Others find it helps.

It doesn't matter right now because you are going to get help from the people in real life who will understand both the numbers and your personal situation( the debt advisors). The way I see it the creditors simply can't have what you don't have, and if you don't own but rent and have no assets then they can't take your home.

It may be that the best solution for you would be bankruptcy or Iva again the advisor will help with this.

If you go bankrupt yes it will be very difficult to a mortgage etc in future but it sounds like you have more immediate concerns and needs.

I know fair few people who have had an Iva or gone bankrupt and actually their lives were easier once they had made the decision.

There is always a solution. [hugs]

hi floaty.
the numbers scare me too.

the hardest thing is saying "I've got a debt and I need help"
these lot sound like they're bejng harsh because they want to help you quickly. so they throw all the info at you in one go.
you don't have to absorb it all, but it's worth taking a few days to look through it and work out what on eearth they're going on about :)

Hello floaty from me too... take time to work thru the examples given once it clicks you'll understand how to stop paying all these interest payments.

So - just had a good sort out of my spreadsheet (think frugal version of YNAB). We have £110 to last us 1 week.

For us this will be tight... But I've withdrawn it in cash and hope that it'll be a very visual aid to sticking to the budget.

I've had some prescription and osteopath charges to pay this week, but it was all in the envelope, so no drama there.

Also had a great deal on DD's shoes from start-rite. Half price.

I think I'm trying not to be too confident as this weekend will feel looooonnnggg without going out and about like normal.

Oh on another note - I have found a gym/pool that will meet my 'requirements' in a time that's suitable for me. They're requesting £42 pcm but I think there might be some more negotiation.

Part of the reason my back 'went' is my general fitness levels. I did a gym trial in August and felt awesome. After the trial and concluding it'd be too expensive I tried to forget about it. The osteopath yesterday said she could give me 'corporate' membership to a naice gym;so I've booked a show round tomorrow.

Limping to pay day...

We get paid on the 26th (fri) so I'm saying this money needs to last us until thurs.

Today is over so we actually only have 7 days to go....

Didyouevah you can do it . Similar here - e13 in current account, e42 in cushion account (not going to last obv), e59 left on cc. E100 clearing on Monday. E160 going to docs appt tomorrow hence tightness this week.

didyou I am in a naice gym - its the one thing that we are happy to see go out (family membership) as we go all the time. No matter how skint we are we can go for a family swim, coffee (without the crowds) and there is a soft play areas for kids with ipads too. We luffs it and it is healthy. I am getting a lot of use out of it.

I am pleased i am not the only one limping to pay day (30th) I have a children's party invite come up so present for £15 (its one of his best friends) I have £100 left in C/A (well officially out of this months budget - I have a lump sum also in but that is the car deposit and if I dip into that it needs to come out of next months budget IYSWIM)

£100 - £60 for food, £20 for petrol, £20 left to pay for an unexpected bill for £65. - so will probably dip in for remaining £40.

I'm also limping to payday.

Have promised myself that if I stick to EVERYTHING my reward will be to get myself some things to cheer our new flat up with.

I have chosen a new loo seat, hand towel, bath mat, vacuum cleaner and some paper lampshades and a couple of other bits from Argos - it comes to £90 so I might just get the Hoover, lampshades and hand towel next month. But it would definitely make a difference!

Going to try the breadmaker part 2 this weekend! First batch didn't stir properly...

Hello everyone :)

Another one limping along till payday here. ....!

£9.90 left in the bank account till Monday (tax credits) and payday end of the week. I'll probably end up a little in the overdraft this weekend in all honesty. I need dinner for tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. Didn't make it to aldi this week and it's all gone a bit pants. Will try harder next week.

This week has been a bit of a disaster for us really. £240 spent on oven and shower repairs and yesterday our kettle broke! (Got the value one from tesco). Hope that's the "3rd" thing. .. they say things come in threes!?!!

Fingers crossed for a better month in October. Gulp.

*month, not week. Re disaster.

I'm not looking.
Good news though- the solicitor is making an interim payment next week (no idea how much) so I am going to pay debt off hooray.
Weirdly I am not in the least interested in shopping or buying crap with it. This is the direct influence of you lot. The thought of cutting up a paid off cc is exciting.