Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

oh, yes, we never buy them if they're more than 20p a pack.
if you think you won't use a whole bag in one go, split it before freezing and freeze in clearly labelled bread bags.

hope ds feels better in the morning fairyleas

Thanks nicklebabe

Go enchiladas !

Agree : my wonderful cousin served them to us in California and I did my own simple version back here : the PERFECT late work night supper as it can be prepared in stages
and different ends of the tray cater for different tastes

am loving seeing the same recipes appear on the debt and weight loss threads

Sorry to post mid recipe swaps but just want to post some where.

Trying to sort card out re intial steps to debt consolidation and Ive ended up in tears. I cut the wrong card up by accident and DH is now annoyed with me.

Two balance transfers have not been able to go ahead, one expired and one we only had the account details not the card in front of us so we can't do it.

We have adjusted the payments still using the spreadsheet.

This always happens when I have to get DH to do stuff.

I don't know how to even post this, I feel really guilty and also can't quite believe it's even true. I did think about just not saying anything but felt after sharing so much of our financial life on here it would be dishonest not to say something about this.
DH's lovely, kind aunt and uncle have sold their house to downsize and have sent us a cheque for a huge amount of money - more than a year's salary for me. It will allow us to completely clear the credit cards and car and have a really well funded ISA to start saving for a house deposit.

We can't pay the cheque in until Monday - I won't feel it's true until all the debts are paid off. I feel a bit like I am hallucinating.

Thank you all so, so much for your support and kindness since January. This thread has changed my mindset to a point where I feel like a different person (financially at least!)

That is amazing news. Congratulations!

Fantastic news! Absolutely do not feel guilty about sharing...utterly delighted for you

That's brilliant news peonies, with what you've learnt you won't get into trouble in the future.

Thanks everyone I am delirious, I definitely won't ever get into debt again, apart from (hopefully) a mortgage in 2-3 years when we've saved enough of a deposit.

That's fantastic Miss - I'm really pleased for you both . You could celebrate with some bean burgers .

Flakey I'm sure I transferred a balance after I cut up the card. Usually you need the code off the back, but I rang them up and did it over the phone. You will get sent a new card then though in case you don't want them in the house. I keep mine in a tin for card-tarting but never in my purse. I don't know the pins for them anyway.

Thanks kinky

I'm sure we have before considering you can online without actual card just through acc, it was DH on phone he's not as pushy as I am.

Tbh I'm sat here watching sunset completely phased now. I've had words with DH now made up but I've had an IBS flare up, sure it is down to all this.

Flakey
you do NOT need the card to do transfers
I know that for an absolute fact because I am the secondary card holder on our account and I often sort out our finances when DH is away!

MissAnnersley
THat is absolutely wonderful news
AND
its even better than if they had done so a year ago, because you are now in the right mindset to be careful with your finances for the rest of your life and live well.
Champagne will be in order on Zero day.

If you could, hang around and tell us the reactions of lenders etc as you clear down the debts
I have an idea how badly they will behave but it will be interesting for others to see

flakey, don't beat yourself up over it - it's easily sorted.

MissA -

MissA that's amazing news. So pleased for you

Congratulations - that's fantastic. Anyone should feel able to talk about HAVING money - it's not bragging!

Well; maybe in poor taste to koi. The thread specifically!

And flakey - no you definitely don't need the card!

I have done loads of balance transfers but actual cards have never seen the light of day. Good luck x

"Join" the thread. "Koi" the thread... Maybe not!

Missa...so happy for you :) x

I hope this does not mean you are leaving our little thread though, Miss, because that would not do!

Many congrats Miss A

Hello thread, can I join?

I probably don't have as much debt as some, but in proportion to our (low) income it is pretty massive :( And DP is a "what's the point in worrying" type so generally won't even discuss it with me.

Also, we are currently having our skintist month ever, due to me starting a new job and having to pay childcare etc upfront, and my old employers messing up my last pay, so we have nothing except child benefit coming in September

I spent yesterday calling everyone I could to tell them I won't be paying any bills this month. Stressful.

Hi and welcome hollie - I am in a similar boat, not huge debt but very small income!

And now majorly in a panic today as dh has heard they may be closing the branch he works for soon! It's just a maybe but we are both stressed as despite applying for everything and anything for the last 6 months there's been no joy (and I know his cv is good as I used to work in senior hr) and now the pressure is well and truly on.... eeeeek. I've also updated my own cv and keeping a look out for me too but due to health problems I'd (and dh) would rather I didn't work unless I had to. So spent the day frantically applying for everything and anything for dh. We are not sure if the branch is going to close or not but the branch is making a loss so it does seem likely at some point and the first half of this year the chain shut 100 branches! Sod it :(

Oh well. Ploughing on. Overspent by £10 today. Needed some spot stuff and face wash as my face has erupted into pmt spots. How nice.

Still a £10 and one day to go is a massive improvement for my usual £30-40 overspend. So I guess that's something.

Fairy - that's really tough. I'm sorry.
No joy from the 2 job applications I made 2 weeks ago.
By the time I have bought all the stuff to decorate ds2s cake it would have been cheaper to bloody buy one!