Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Trial.

Maybe I should just stop spending before I start spending money on budgeting!

trainers
WElcome aboard
this is a good supportive place

Welcome trainers

There's a 30 day free trial for YNAB. I couldn't get on with it and made my own spreadsheet with the bits that worked for me.

Other people swear by it.

Thanks for the input everyone pixie it's not that I need to sell them as such, but I'm just looking around thinking about what I need to keep and what I use on a daily basis, what I'd replace if I lost it. So there's an element of minimalism creeping in as well as a purely financial motivation.
Right now I don't know if I'd regret getting rid of them - they take up about 3-4 billy shelves to give you an idea. I've read them all multiple times. But they were a massive part of my childhood and taught me that there were places where everyone didn't lie and cheat all the time, where manners were important. It's a tough call.
Welcome trainers! Don't feel embarrassed we are all very much in this together.

Gosh peonies I don't know. Don't sell them if it will make you sad, you're making other changes. Hi trainers and afterthought - well done on the pay off.

Hi trainers

Ynab has been worth every penny to me. It was £29.99 on steam but sometimes goes on sale. I was -£500 in the bank when I bought it in Feb and am currently +£1800 (with pay day in 5 days). I have also paid for one big and two small holidays and still paid off debt at £650ish a month since I got ynab in Feb. Couldn't have done it without ynab.

It just seems to work for me. Get the months trial and the smartphone app and do some of the classes to see if it will work for you.

MissAnnersley
I know your pain
DH and I are collectors by habit : books, hats, plants, clockwork toys, victorian electrical kit, cats
BUT
we want to travel as the kids leave home
which means making the house low maintenance
which means getting rid of stuff

by golly its hard
because I only want my stuff to go to people who will appreciate it

TBH your set of books is worth putting on ebay/amazon/abe with a reserve high enough to make you not regret

Thank you for the warm welcome!

I have signed up for YNAB to see how it all works.

Started to think about whether I could sell any things on eBay to make some money back - I sold quite a few clothes and belongings last year so don't have much but one thing I do have is my wedding dress but I don't think DH would be pleased - it would make a fair old difference though (although I'd have to pay to have it cleaned first).

Tintin girl - just wow! Well done.
This month has been horrific spending wise. I missed the second hand sale and new uniform for three dcs' uniform has cost £320 plus £80 plus £120 plus £52.
That's shoes, but not coats - they will have to manage with what they have.
One difficulty is the middle one has a growth deficiency so doesn't grow into clothes from ds1 but needs new stuff as it gets tatty.
Plus I bought the cheapest of most things coat, bag etc but sometimes it's a false economy.

I'm out of money but need to get DD shoes and DS jumpers for school. Payday tomorrow and I'm already eating into September.

The academic year is the new year for me so I am pledging that I will get this budget in order and will not be in this position again next year. At least DD will be heading into Sixth Form then, so easier to source smart business dress than bloody straight-cut navy trousers and unfitted shirts. Also will be very, very pleased to see the back of sodding blazers until DS hits secondary in another 5 years.

Had a totally cathartic clear out of the basket where I've been dumping paperwork all summer, everything's been filed, recycled or binned as appropriate. DH even cleared out his paperwork drawer of doom and agreed to sort his stuff into labeled folders.

Next plan is to go through all the car boot stuff and list anything half decent on eBay, 5 day listing, if it doesn't sell by Friday/Sat then it can come to carboot on Sunday

Finally planning to be super ruthless and spend today/tomorrow clearing cupboards, storage and jewelry box of everything not being used or worn on a very regular basis and sell or donate it.

Thinking of selling my sewing machine as I still can't use it 3 years on...

Nerf...I know what you mean wrt false economy.
I have bought cheap stuff so many times, and each time have ended up having to buy better quality in the end.
One thing I do now is try and buy quality second hand stuff from e bay.

True re false economy - cheap school uniform can add up over the year.

Miss I'm doing this. It has nearly finished me off over bank holiday weekend, but I want to go into September in some kind of order so I feel ahead of the game where the house is concerned, rather than struggling to catch up with myself all of the time.

I've also let the cleaner go, which I am rather nervous about as my job will be more intensive this year. However, need to save the money and I will have to force myself to do the cleaning rather than feet up on a weekend.

I might be rocking in a corner come December...

kinky DH and I literally just had a Very Serious Talk about letting our cleaner go!!!

We haven't decided yet... it would save money, but when things get manic it at least forces us to tidy our shit away once a week and the basics are done. It doesn't help that our cleaner is not that great...

This is the thing - for she manages to do, we could do it. We just need to force ourselves to do the manic tidy-up .

for all

I think it would actually have the same effect if I invited visitors once a week although I might end up having a heart attack

I keep thinking about getting a cleaner
but I regard it as a free workout class
my house is tidy, fairly clean but no way immaculate
if we have guests coming then its all four of us hell for leather for an hour
does the job and money saved

Ditch the cleaners. Look forward to them when we all have cash again!
Seriously. Five minutes a day for hygiene purposes, routine clearing plates to the kitchen, empty bins upstairs into a carrier bag for downstairs twice a week, bleach down loo by the last person out. It will be fine!

Our cleaner had to go. I'm still not over it!

DH and I just agreed to let ours go. Then we checked the paperwork and the agency demand 2 full months notice!!! So we'll be paying her until mid October anyway. But actually that makes us feel less bad, as we are giving her plenty of time to find somewhere else. I do feel bad firing her.

peonies I might start calling you missa because everyone else is
what is your sewing machine?

cleaners?!

blimey!
our house is a bloody tip but cleaner? nope, better things to spend money on.

you just have to get used to mess(I don't see it, never have)
every couple of weeks we'll blitz one area. all done. as long as pots and clothes are clean, and toilet cleaned, nothing else really matters.
when I want to clean the kitchen floor, I let dd loose with a big tub of water