Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Peonies - get well soon ! . Sounds painful.

Nerf - pity about the overdraft :( uniforms & school expenses for us were more than expected too so we've been left with less than one weeks grocery budget to stretch to Thursday week (12 days). So I did a strict meal plan & am going to make up a batch of bolognaise sauce & chicken curry for the freezer. That'll do at least 6 dinners & we'll have to get through the other days too. I wish my DS was less fussy about what he would eat ! I maybe have to open the Xmas savings tin if we are stuck but hopefully not. The good news is my credit card is no longer maxed so if we have to can use some of that but would really prefer not to.

Nerf we're going to scrape through the next 10 days. I am determined to get my budget properly up and running in September so I don't do this again next year.

Hate school uniform! Hate shopping for school shoes!! Hate buying PE kit!!!

Don't mind buying stationery though, that's always fun . It's a teacher thing.

Vino...don't be so hard on yourself!
I will probably get some Xmas gifts (stocking filler type ones) from next this year...then I can pay them off early next.
My mum keeps buying the boys stuff. I wish she wouldn't. But I find it hard to say no. She makes me feel like I am mean when I say they don't need stuff.
Today she has bought them both a jumper and ds2 a skateboard!
Jumpers are handy... But the skateboard!?
Boys are enjoying their hols..I am exhausted! :)

I've got a fair bit in for Christmas already, I joined the early Xmas bargain thread and went a bit mad! Still more to do though once I'm up and about including DH whose birthday is 3 days after Xmas!
No ideas at all for things to get him he's a nightmare!

Just realised the date! Get paid on 20th and still have over 50pnd in petrol budget and 30 in food budget...woohoo!

my shoes frigging broke at holiday club on Friday! well, one shoe.
gave no spare pair at home, so I went to cheapie shoe shpp on the way home (walked with no shoes on).
fully expected to just buy a £4.99 pair of pumps or vallet shoes. NO! of course not! every pair I tried on was either too narrow or the front was too short - both things make my 7.5 size feet look like boats!
I fiundvone pair of sandals in there tgat were the only summer shoes that suited and fit me.
£14.99 :(
I figured £15 on avpair I would wear was better thsn £5 on a pair that I would hate.
thankfully my feet won't grow again, so I can wear tgese every year.
and they look so fegching with my socks on

Sitting in my jeans in hospital anxiously awaiting the dr team so I can be discharged this morning. I just need to be at home now.
What bad luck nickel - I had something similar happen when I packed really lightly once for a weekend away in the Netherlands, only had 1 pair of comfy flat shoes with me, the sole came right off. I had to walk around in high heels for hours on cobbled streets, in jeans, like knob while an express cobbler fixed the shoe for 17 EURO. SEVENTEEN EURO.

Well done mum! Golpe you are ok peonie x

I still have to buy uniform. Luckily DS is only six and doesn't go to a posh school yet - have my heart set on a lovely super selective grammar for secondary so I'm looking at sainsbury's and similar.

I get paid on the 25th and we don't have much money left. Pay day won't be much of a boon though as with DH starting the new teaching post after years of supply he won't get paid until 23rd of September and we will have very little disposable income in September. About £30 a week between us in fact. I have budgeted £60 per week for Aldi food shop and we must stick to that.

I'll be so so proud of myself if we can make it to the 23rd without using cards etc. but they are there if there's an emergency.

nerf sounds like your expenses have been HUGE - my DS's uniform and shoes together will only come to about £80 - try not to give yourself too hard a time. You're committed to squashing the debt I know.

peonies you poor thing :( hope you feel better soon.

hope you've been discharged peonies :(

We have just got back from a smashing weekend away. Not cheap though But we caught up with relatives, and just had such a good time. Felt like a 1st date without the DCs in tow

The actual accommodation was a deal, but eating out was deliciously expensive.

We talked and talked, and had a marvellous time but we agreed a few things.

We are not going to try and conceive #3 I have chopped and changed my mind but for long and varied reasons we decided that life is just great the way it is.

This has also lead to an agreement that we will slow down slightly on debt repayment. All on 0%, and we have this for the next 24 months. Originally I was trying for 18 months, but actually we've agreed on 21. This means an extra 3k (ish) to live on.

I went for a swim with my cheap gym trial this morning at 6am before work. I'm shattered now though.

We won't look at any kind of membership until the new year as we have DS starting school in September and hopefully I'll be changing my job.

For exercise we'll stick with cycling and dog walking.

I've just got back from the local shop on the estate laden down with yellow stickers. I also love chucking my coppers in the self service till. So satisfying.

Roll on payday (26th)

Hope you are home now MissA.

Can someone, preferably HSBC peeps, help me with savings account advice please? I was inspired to set up a Flexible Online saver thingy after Kinky said about it and I'm just baffled by the whole thing. ISAs, bonus savers, flexi savers. As far as I can tell they ate all the same just with different rates of interest. But if that was the case why would everyone just not go for the highest interest one, why do all the others exist?? So baffled. I need TiP to come back from holiday and help me out!

Isa - tax free. V good if you are a higher rate taxpayer and will actually have enough interest being earned that you would otherwise pay tax.
Otherwise - how accessible do you want your cash to be? Basically, the harder it is for you to get hold of, the better the interest rate generally.

I am home thanks pixie

ISAs are tax free in terms of interest- so any profit you make up to a given limit of savings is yours to keep, whereas other savings accounts will have tax taken from the interest you make. That's why you can only put a limited amount into an ISA every year.

A bonus saver is the bank's way (usually) of attracting you to save with them via some kind of incentive, but often they then say you have to keep a minimum in there, or can't take the money out again for say 2 years.

IME a flexi-save is usually just a kind of online "envelope" attached to your current acc which you can store money in with a negligible interest rate but you can take the money any time you like.

I have a flexisave that I store our baby emergency fund in, and also a personal flexi-save that I am trying to save for presents and stuff. When we get debt free we'll each get an ISA every year to save into for a house deposit.

Hmmm. ISAs with HSBC seem to be instant access in terms of taking the money out. So is it best to just get an ISA even though I will only be using it for an emergency fund/ tiny savings pot? Is there a drawback to doing this rather than a flexi? Sorry to be stupid. Thanks for your advice so far

If there's no penalty for withdrawing money in terms of internet etc I'd use an ISA, why not? Then if you have no emergencies you'll be making more money in the meantime.

In terms of INTEREST ... Fat fingers, sorry!

Hi everyone hope you're feeling better MissA.
I woke up this morning thinking why am I going to put my family through more austerity for 2 years when we have a bit of extra finally when childcare comes down (next week !). So I'm thinking I will still pay the debts at the current rate & a good bit extra but I won't stretch us too much by putting in every extra penny. Instead am going to spend a bit on us eg clothes & home improvements which we have been living without for too long ! Unf it means debts won't be paid for 3-4 years but who knows we may get pay increases during that time & it could be quicker.

It's a load off my mind I'm taking the foot off the pedal but we can have a normal life too !

Double delight today :o) pay day and finally dropped that pesky pound in weight, so now lost exactly 2 stone...go me!

Back later with proper money update but all looks to be on track...happy days!!

Snowie I think you and I have had the same thought this week.

If we go completely hair shirt poor then we're much less likely to succeed.

Baby steps and all that.

Marathon not a sprint

Mum4 well done on everything. You seem to be really cracking it all.

Snowie I know exactly what you mean!
Dh has more stuff to list on e bay when we get home (tomorrow) so that should cover what we have spent on hols :(
Just got one more week til pay day!
Then need the food for ds2s party next month and cake ingredients!
No doubt after the first week the letters will start coming from school...trips, photos etc...sigh.
Sadly ds2 will not have hot dinners and Ds2 is at secondary so no free dinners for us :(

Yuk, what's happened to the design of the page? It's 'orrid!

Hi all,
Am back from hols, trying not to think how much I spent, but it had all been saved up in advance.
Have also put on a load of weight so will save money by eating stuff all for the next month!

Good to see that people are hanging on in there and that new people are joining in.
The short term (a couple of years) pain IS worth the long term (a couple of decades) gain.

I have a stocks and shares isa with scottish widows.
it's open-ended, and I can take money out whenever I like just by sending a letter.
money's usually sent by cheque or bank transfer within a week.
its fkexibility means I'm still paying into it at £50 a month and then withdrawing big sums when I need it.
it means that I can keep saving even though I'm using the money and withdrawing it regularly, and it means that it's making interest (much more than any bank account or cash isa) and it's there ready to be a savings account once my debt is paid off.

Hi everyone - has anyone put the heat on yet ? I was determined to try and get to October but there's zero chance of that I'm already cold enough but we need to train ourselves to dress warmly etc we're way too heat-happy.

One week until payday and we have about e30 to last including entertaining for lunch on saturday. I'm waiting for a cheque for e100 to clear prob not until Tuesday. Hopefully this is the last week we'll be this stuck as childcare will come down however lots of things to pay over the next 2 weeks need to hold steady before I get too excited about having extra cash ! Ikea catalogue arrived. Problem with frugality is it creates pent up demand eg car service etc put off for months/years !