Debt mutual support thread number 4 .... every journey starts with the hardest first step

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
and my THIRD
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2062902-Debt-Number-3-For-those-who-feel-they-are-drowning-and-want-a-way-out?msgid=48505428#48505428
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Welcome vino it sounds like you have a solid plan in place to tackle all the debt. Have you tried selling stuff on eBay or at a car boot sale? I know it sounds like a lot of work for possibly not much money but I seriously have found that every £ extra seems to punch above its weight in terms of debt repayment.
We sold stuff on ebay early on and it gave us a real boost at a time when we felt the debt was utterly overwhelming.

I wouldn't worry about the student loan if it's with the SLC, they won't take it u unless you earn enough and the interest rate is so low - check out Money Saving Expert on Student Loans, it convinced me not to over pay mine as the money saves you far more if you overpay your mortgage given the relative interest rates.

What I plan to do is have enough in my Emergency Fund that I could clear both mine and DH's Student loans, and just have it sitting there and if they try any funny business like selling our loans to dodgy loan sharks or sending threatening letters etc as they have done with the pre-1998 lot then we can clear them off and just start building our EF again. But that will take at least a year post debt-freedom if not longer.

Hi Vino welcome. The secret is not to actually go into the shops at all hence no bargains ! Try to buy on a need to basis only.

Update from me: back in work so access to my budget spreadsheet (I have it at home too but my laptop is crap).

Anyway it's worse than previously thought I owe 46k but this has reduced by 7% in 3months.

New plan if every spare penny goes into debts we can pay off in 2 years. Will have to really focus.

Slightly depressed !

Peonies - are you accruing interest on your student loans ? In which case might be better to keep small EF (eg 1k) and just pay off?

ooh, don't mention Student loans - I'm firmly ignoring mine until I have means to dent it. :(

I made a very exciting discovery yesterday.
I've got loads of boxes of stock under the stairs and have been worrying about how to get it all listed on my computer (stock check basically).
Because it would mean dragging each box upstairs to list, then dragging back down, all while trying to dodge the ever-present toddler-child.

I tried plugging into my tablet my barcode scanner, thinking, maybe I can download a driver for it.
no need!! Tablet recognised it as a barcode scanner!!!

so I scanned all the books/toys and emailed them to myself so I can open them up here and not have to drag boxes around.

I scanned 16 boxes in 2 hours! All done.

Hello all. Inspiring stuff! I'm still ticking along. Payday next week and everything on track

Hmm. Good developments today - I got paid and therefore have paid off the bastard pay day loan (never to take one out again ever) and made the final instalment on one of my loans! Yay!

Bad development today - I allowed myself to get dragged out for a 'payday wine'. Only had two drinks but at London city prices that's enough! Had not factored it in so goodbye a tenner. I really need to get it into my head that frugality does not equal impromptu drinks

Anyway, hope you are all well. Hi Vino and well done Nickel for doing so much scanning!

Just made £130 on e bay!
Means I have to sort bloody parcels out and get to the post office tomorrow morning prior to going away but never mind!
Mil is sorting out a door curtain for me from the ones my sister gave me.
Once back from hols we shall continue going to aldi once a week and top up locally.
I am trying to sell some of ds2s old clothes on ebay and FB but not having much luck :( I may donate them I think.

Wow that's great what did you sell ? I've sold a few things on ebay (last Xmas sold a leather handbag!) but I seem to be out of stuff that wouldn't cost a fortune to post. A friend gives me her older DDs old clothes for DD and some are fab but it wouldn't be right to sell them on (she might notice) . I have considered selling my engagement ring, replacing with a fake & buying a new one in 2+ years when we can afford it ! Would need to get it valued first that would cost 100.

Deal - it's not so bad, you could cut out a treat somewhere else, maybe, or "pay it back" a £ a week till you're even again :)

excellent Badvoc !
you could put the kids' clothes into the circle - most of the people i know rotate clothes - we've all got children of varying ages, so clothes get given to one person, then another etc. you always end up passing on as many as you receive, so it's like free clothes or making money

Marking place with a sheepish wave...

I've started getting nephew clothes from my sis...they are about 3-4tears too big for DS but storing in loft til they fit. Keep a note on my phone of whats there incase I spot any real bargains...I can check I don't already have something put away.

Good month so far...all budgets/envelopes on track. Payday on 20th. Think I will have excess fuel budget this month so that will go to loan overpayment.

I have spent a couple of hours trying to take better control. Found out I could open multiple flexisaves on my main bank account, so doing that to create a better envelope system.

We spent hours over last couple of days trying to find a reasonable holiday for next year and it was really tough. In the end, we've agreed that we have become one of those families that has had a taste of Disney and wants to go back. Rather than book next year, I am setting up a savings account and we are going to start to save towards it. This feels a bit odd whilst we are still paying debt, but it makes me feel a bit happier about things if we have something to look forward to. I'm hoping we might manage 2016, but it will depend on what comes up in the meantime.

Not just cracking out a credit card and booking for next year is quite a big deal for me.

Saying we will save for Disney changes my mindset a bit as well in the respect that we still seem to be having treats here and there, it will be easier to say no because that is the treat. The kids want to go again too.

I'm only going to allocate a set amount each month towards it, everything else will be off the debt. We've done pretty well reducing so far this year.

I honestly don't think it's the paying down with us, it's more the putting things into place to stop us from adding to it. I haven't put anything on the card since February when we started, which means we have lived within our means for six months now. That's pretty good going, and very deserving of Disney I think .

I think that sounds like a great plan Kinky

Great idea with your flexisaves...who is that with if you don't mind me asking?

I love that you are helping me to justify it in my mind, Mum . I think having the something to look forward to will help us in many respects. It's that idea of choices again. In the past, I would have CC-d it and then carried on spending regardless and just put up debt. That's how I paid last time - including a large loan. This time, I am doing it legit whilst still paying down debt, budgeting and overpaying mortgage. All of those things will continue to be a priority.

I have my main account with HSBC. Clicked on flexisave online through the online bank this morning, it said you could open multiple accounts. Ticked a terms and conditions box, it opened one, went back through and repeated. I now have 3 of these, a regular saver and an ISA (all empty ) attached to my current account as my 'pots'. So savings will be:

Clothes/haircuts/shoes
Emergency fund
Christmas and birthdays
House Ins/Car MOT, service/Car deposit for next one
DISNEY or, rather, family holiday/entertainment fund as it will all be out of this one

Good idea, mum
We don't have to buy a lot of stuff for DD because of the circle, but I always look out in the sales for stuff, because children grow, and I don't care about fashion so I get the next size, or the one after that (especially seasonal - get end of season sale summer stuff for next summer)

I'm feelinga bit :( today, because I'd had loads of online sales (3rd party website), and run out of packaging, so I bought some new envelopes in 2 different sizes and small boxes. And since I bought them all 2 days ago, I've not had a single order!
I'm sure it's just because it's near the weekend, and I'll have some in the next couple fo days.

Lots

Silly sensitive phone!

Lots of selling going on :) Hope you get some customers soon nickle.

Saving for the holiday that you really want sounds fine to me kinky. I'm saving up to move house at the same time as paying off debt. Putting £300 away each month towards moving costs (will be using equity as deposit) and paying a couple if hundred more a month off debt. I'm sure there will be people on here who would disagree with this! Moving means everything to me for lots of reasons.

Just paid off one CC in full and closed so allowing myself a little cheer :)

Cheers for golden closing a debt !

I'm setting myself a target of 2 years to pay off everything it's prob a bit unrealistic but will keep me going. By then anyway who knows one of us might get a raise !

I've put a post it on my work monitor saying 24 (months). Maybe even then I could take a career break as we would only have the mortgage & bills. I would love that could write a book !

Badvoc my Very account has become a necessary evil. Because I don't earn very much, big expenses are a no-go so my Very account covers them. DD's Christmas was put on it last year, as well as a winter coat and pair of boots for each of us. We stay in an area of Scotland that gets hammered by heavy snowfall pretty much November - February so we cannot go without half decent coats or footwear, which unfortunately cost. Had to buy a gas cooker for the house I moved into as well as my electric one was no good, so Very to the rescue once again It soon adds up. And of course, I'm not sensible so I don't pay it off monthly. I wait until I have a couple of months left and panic about needing to find hundreds. Moron.

Hi Peonies! I would love to sell my things. Genuinely. I have loads of old furniture I need to get rid of and recently joined some FB selling pages with the hopes of earning some sideline pennies. Unfortunately, I told my mum of my plans to do so and she was horrified All I got was "But it's such good storage! And you won't get much for any of it. Can't we have it instead?!" Their house is already brimming with stuff. They don't need any of it. But she still wants it. I think I could have made about £50-60 off it all, which is a significant amount to me, but not her (she earns a decent amount, and my dad's a high earner). And I can't ask her for any money - she's my mum and she's helped me a great deal in the past. Hey ho.

My TV unit broke beyond repair yesterday. That was an unexpected £30 to replace it, which I had to do. I have a 7yo dd, a cat and a monster puppy in the house. The TV wouldn't last a minute on the floor.

£125.00 paid off my council tax arrears!

Waiting till Tuesday to hit my Very account. TV unit breakage means I'm shaving a bit too close to the financial breadline for my liking if I pay Very as well, so I'll wait for my family allowance to come in before I pay them. For peace of mind's sake, it can wait a couple of days.

Have worked in a £30 budget every month from now until December to cover Christmas presents. I'm only buying for my immediate family this year and I'm going to scale back on the amount I buy dd. Am feeling a bit better now knowing I have a separate little pot for this and I won't be handing out lumps of coal!

Well done Golden on clearing the CC! That must be a wonderful feeling!

Hi to all. Am running so late for a play date! Must get off MN!

Thanks vino - it does feel good. I still have three others to go!

I understand about the Very account. My Next account has served the same purpose (£550 left on it now). It's come to the rescue for wedding outfits, Christmas etc when money was too tight to mention.

yay, golden that's great! I am on DH's case to close the CC we just paid off - cant believe we'll actually only have 1 CC left when he does that. It is a whopper at over 4 grand but we'll get it whipped into shape!

I've been reading through the archives of Mortgage Free in Three while I've been in hospital (had surgery yesterday for tummy/back pains which turned out to be three yucky abdominal abcesses, cause unknown!) and feeling very inspired to get back on track after a fairly spendy summer. I haven't added to our debt but I have allowed myself to make some unnecessary purchases which will stop now.

Hope you are doing ok MissA, that sounds painful as hell

Just checking in, fantastic that we are all still plodding on.
We have run out of money. No child benefit, which I usually saved for uniforms so I've spent 320 plus 100 (bus pass) plus another 90 on blazers, a bag, posh pe kit and loads if trousers and shirts (last one for all of them). Still have to get another bus pass, football boots and three pairs school shoes - waiting til payday.
I've had to add an overdraft just to get to the end of the month.