Debt support thread #2

[Nerfmother]

Here we are! Can't be bothered to think of an exciting title, sorry

We will be debt free in 4 years. We are overpaying on our credit card by almost double and paying off a loan. I looked at the debt spreadsheet and was horrified at how much we would pay in interest if we lowered the monthly payments.

Just how tightly are you willing to live in order to get your debt paid off faster?

We will be left with just £100 a month after all essential outgoings - bills/travel/food shop/petrol/insurance/tax.

We have no savings anywhere so if an emergency arises we would have to use a cc.

Hi, I really did not mean to offend or judge anyone. This thread and MN generally have been lifesavers and I am deeply grateful
Had set aside this weekend to do the next steps of the staircase but have done none of it and not much else either

Puffer
the great thing about threads like this is that none of us meet up
we can all tell as much or as little as we are able to cope with
we are not judged and condemned

admitting to a balls up like serious debt is REALLY REALLY hard face to face
I get more admissions than many, but I talk as I type

the anonymity of a board gives people the strength to face up to where they are and head off in the right direction
which is excellent

Puffer you totally didn't I was being silly. It's nice to share this stuff.
Tip, totally agree about how easy it is to run debt up - nothing much to show here for any of it either.
Be honest, if it was just me and dh I would be much more frugal. I'm trying to balance prioritising debt with raising the dc in a fairly materialistic environment.

I got into debt because I never, ever, budgeted. When I was married my OH didn't either. Partly because he worked for himself so never had a regular income. We always expected a big payment to come in to pay things off. Sometimes it did, sometimes it didn't.

When we divorced I paid it all off. Had no equity left, when really there should have been enough for a significant house deposit each, but at least the debt was gone. I LOVED being debt free. But because I had not fine through the pain of paying it all off, it was easy to rack it up again. I started with a small loan to buy a car and a holiday, then a credit card, then another, and then one more. Then I consolidated them into a loan and ran them up again. Stupid.

On the positive side, I have bought a house and although there is not a lot of equity, now that I budget and understand money (finally - I 40!) I will overpay that once the debt is gone (and after saving to buy a lovely car without finance). Will take a few years but I will get there.

Bit of a tough post from me this morning...need to totally rethink financial plans as DP has left DS and I. Now only my wage, child benefit and whatever contribution exP makes towards DS to put towards everything. Will make a start today and review all outgoings and renegotiate what contracts I can ...

Not sure if I'm honest...we didn't qualify for anything as a couple, I don't know what the single person thresholds are...anyone advise?

I get max available in childcare vouchers through work, salary is just over £36k, so doubt I'm entitled to anything...but will check website later, thanks.

Thx TiP and Nerf, fwiw I think you are both totally cool.
Mum2Fergus: very sorry to hear that. Great that you are thinking through the emotional turmoil to keep the tiller steady as possible! My tuppence worth on basis of own experience is the subject of legal fees. Don't know if you'll need legal at some point and sincerely hope you don't, but I wish I'd had some idea beforehand of just how expensive they are. For me, I took the decision to leave flee as had to be done and have no regrets but the financial impact of legal fees caused many many sleepless nights. Now, quite a while later i try to see it as an investment in the rest of our lives. Onwards and upwards.

I'm hoping any legalities will be minimal...no joint accounts/debts, financially can cope on my own, mortgage in my name only.

I'm so sorry to hear that Mum. I hope you are ok.

Oh no what a thing to happen. I'm sorry , even if it's a choice it's hard in reality. Really hope you can find out where you're at financially and carry on making such fab progress.
Puffer - we're all cool here

Sorry to hear that mum2

Thanks Nerf/all...yes, it was a choice, but still difficult. Have applied for single person discount, cut SKY and requested he be removed from the voters role at my house. Any other practicalities I need to give thought to?

Sorry to hear that Mum2Fergus This happened to a work colleague recently. She found the citizens advice bureau helpful. X

((( Mum2Fergus ))) You'll be OK. The sun is due to shine again soon. That always helps

Hope you are okay Mum2Fergus .

Thanks all...on a brighter note today was a NSD and sold something on Facebay for £10...onwards and upwards!

Sorry to hear that mum2fergus hope you're both doing ok (())

Oh Mum2Fergus that's crappy news, even if it was mutual/inevitable. Be kind to yourself and do a bit of googling to see if there's anything else you need to be doing.

Really interesting reading everyone's debt stories. I have no good excuses - was brought up by financially sensible parents etc - but I have always lived just a fraction beyond my means. Every now and again I have clamped down and got back to zero, then just started dribbling money away again. DH's problem is more straightforward - his parents never believed they should have to wait for anything and as a result are still in debt into their retirement. I think having very definite long term goals (buying a house, overpaying the mortgage, having security for the DCs) has finally made me/us face up to it and I feel really positive that this time we can do it and keep on the straight and narrow.