How much does his ex really get?

[WaspFactory]

How much money does a single parent get in benefits? I ask because my partner is paying his ex over the odds in maintenance because he thinks she is getting next to nothing. However, a friend of mine says his ex gets more money than him due to the amount of benefit she receives.

Can anyone tell me how much (roughly) per month it's possible to get as a single SAHM with one child? Bearing in mind that she is living in their old house with a mortgage on it?

@Boggler

Not sure why I was deleted, just said I'd read op's other threads and they're very enlightening.

No, you said you'd read her other threads and couldn't decide "if you're bonkers, heartless or just plain deluded". That's a (triple) personal attack, Boggler.

I have been trying for years but noone else wants him

I guess they dont want to be second best :(

Point taken MN

@Boggler

Point taken MN

Thank you. Don't be sad; just don't do it again

Respect to your partner for not just paying the minimum for his child. Too many fathers pay nothing or as little as theycan get away with.

His child will know this as he grows up and will respect his father for being a father who looked after him financially and helped him get a start in life despite the breakdown of the relationship with his mother.

OP, is there any biological 'rush' for you to become pregnant IYSWIM. I haven't read you other threads so don't know if you are worried about your age or not.

your other threads

sorry typo

Who needs to watch soaps when you can just come on MN for threads like this one.

Oh what - that gets deleted? I only called her old, that is hardly an insult!

It's all a bit Jeremy Kyle. You know the sort of people you can't believe exist in real life

The csa rate is for deadbeats. I would hope no woman would consider taking up with a man who paid only that amount. No idea what his ex gets. I'm sure you will be able to ferret it out.

ali MNHQ have gone trigger happy with the delete button. posts that weren't in breach of the guidlines are being deleted.

I only had one of my post deleted but the op post asking if im for real and making fun of my disability dyslexia get to stay :(

Op keep this thread. In two years when you have a young child and your boyfriend walks out on you for a new ow and a new family, you will realise the pain of splitting up a family.

You will realise how much you love your child and won't be able to understand how he could do this to you both.

You and your child will become just another disposable family to a cheating man who thinks the grass is always greener.

Can you really not understand why she doesn't want her dd around an ow!

MN at its finest.....not

well OP, either you are lying about how much your DP earns, or you are wrong that he's paying out 30% of his income, he clearly is paying out only a little above what he would have to pay on CSA calculators, so your original question is wrong.

Plus remember as htey are married, she's entitled to apply for spousal maintenance as well as child support. She is his wife and as such, has much more claim over his finances than his DP would.

However, you might want to look again at your plans, I'd delay until his full financial settlement is sorted, he might end up having to pay out more than he is now when they get divorced, have you considered that? This isn't the most he could be made to pay by a long way...

I really would not link my finances with a man who is still going through a divorce, and I would advise him to avoid the same with you until your divorce is finalised too (as I understand it, you have a non-working H you are divorcing, you are aware that he could apply for spousal maintenance from you? Especially as you previously have supported him financially. Obviously right now he's not and is being reasonable, but if he finds out about your affair and/or gets a good solicitor, you might find you have to pay out to keep him until he gets a job).

It's really not a good idea making plans for children until you know what both of you are able to bring to the table, and if once the excitment of the affair has ended if you can make a normal, dull, everyday relationship with your DP work.

Well I've made some shockingly poor decisions in my time, sadly I never had the collective mumsnet wisdom to warn me. Beforehand.

Op you have some choices. Sadly I fear you will go down the route you're currently on. But seriously it's a really bad choice. You can look at the hail of abuse your getting and think "poor me"

Or you can have a really long think about what the nest of vipers is trying to tell you

I fear you recognise the big thing your relationship doesn't have that the marriage does. Fact is he's not paying over the odds because he's a good guy. It's guilt money.

Which leaves you with an almighty problem. you can't reduce It else he will hold you to blame for that.

Whether she's living the life of riley at your dps expense or impoverished, seriously your best leaving well alone.

I'd wait too before I bought a dc of my own into the mix. It won't keep him if he finds he's missing his family too much, you'll just be the rebound woman noone likes. Give It a while to secure your finances and build some bridges.

Good on him for paying extra...my ex pays the bare minimum and buys them nothing extra, despite having a substantial second income.

That's true, Dontmind I haven't read the other threads and hadn't realised there was another spouse with a potential claim, against the OP. A woman I know got stung for nearly £50k on a £100k property by a man she wasn't even married to, once a solicitor became involved and it transpired he'd helped to re-decorate the property.

I suppose it is hard though when one's age is against one.

If your partner has made an agreement to his existing family that has to be honored before he had a new family, unless there is a big change in circumstances .

That is the choice you make when you enter into a relationship with someone who already has a family to support.

Arisbottle, I have seen your posts elsewhere. You seem extremely committed to not causing upset for your step-DC.