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Original poster

How much does his ex really get?

504 replies

WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 11:11

How much money does a single parent get in benefits? I ask because my partner is paying his ex over the odds in maintenance because he thinks she is getting next to nothing. However, a friend of mine says his ex gets more money than him due to the amount of benefit she receives.

Can anyone tell me how much (roughly) per month it's possible to get as a single SAHM with one child? Bearing in mind that she is living in their old house with a mortgage on it?

OP posts:
Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 16:53

Yay - we've got another one! Welcome Grin

OP posts:
Wallison · 09/01/2013 16:53

I actually feel really sorry for the little girl in all this. Not only has she had her family life ripped apart by you, but you are now trying to work out how much the money paid for her upkeep can be reduced by.

MissPricklePants · 09/01/2013 16:53

'gaggle of mental women'

No dear, we are a nest of vipers, didn't you know that?

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 16:56

Family life ripped apart? Erm, no, she has separated parents, just like loads of other kids. Except her Dad loves her and wants to see her and do the best for her, unlike a lot of the scumbags mentioned on MN.

OP posts:
FairyJen · 09/01/2013 16:59

She is 4. Trust me as far as she is concerned her life has been ripped apart. She will continue to feel like that long after your dp has ditched you for his next bit of fluff

Wallison · 09/01/2013 17:00

She's four years old and her daddy has left her home! Just have a fucking think about what you are saying.

happynewmind · 09/01/2013 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cloudpuff · 09/01/2013 17:04

I can tell you when my Dad left us when I was four my life certainley was ripped apart and there was no other woman involved. God only knows what how she is feeling now.I remember the day he left our home with him crying, mum crying and me crying very very clearly. I am 33 now and that memory upsets me still, please do not underestimate the affect this will have on his little girl.

higgle · 09/01/2013 17:06

If you know a bit about her general circumstances you can work it out yourself from the Diret.gov web site on benefits. OP I feel sorry that you are getting flack on here, although her precise financial situation is obviously private it is helpful for you to know in outline about the fuller financial situation your DP is in. Why don't you ask him a bit more about how she lives an dthen do some research?

happynewmind · 09/01/2013 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 17:12

More people who miss the point or haven't read the posts.

Thanks Higgle Smile

OP posts:
OneLittleToddlingTerror · 09/01/2013 17:12

WaspFactory £30k isn't minted in the SE. (Which I assume you are in). See multiple poster saying childcare alone is over £1k a month full time outside London. Mine costs £45 a day, and you pay even if you are on holiday. Now you have said your number, I can also tell you both me and DH are on the higher end of £30k and we have to tighten our belts a lot for one child. And we have no debts (except a mortgage) and 6 months savings. You'll need that savings with a child. There are waiting lists on nursery places and you can't risk to give up the space just because you lose your job, for example.

And seriously, my take home pay is about £2k after tax. After you pay £1k on childcare, £700 on rent, can you still afford all the bills and food on £300?

OneLittleToddlingTerror · 09/01/2013 17:15

And this Family life ripped apart? Erm, no, she has separated parents, just like loads of other kids. Except her Dad loves her and wants to see her and do the best for her, unlike a lot of the scumbags mentioned on MN.

Speechless, really.

Original poster
WaspFactory · 09/01/2013 17:15

Boo - you're just miffed that you tried to be hurtful to me and failed. You'll get over it Grin

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 09/01/2013 17:15

You started off being worried that you wouldn't be able to afford maternity leave unless your boyfriend cuts how much he contributes to his daughter.....now suddenly you are minted with a wonderful life?

Deluded is not the word!

Thing is, in the fullness of time you will realise what a wally you have been.

OneLittleToddlingTerror · 09/01/2013 17:15

Ofc you could be minted because you are getting an inheritance we haven't heard about yet Wink

Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 17:17

yes of course OP. whatever you need to believe.

Booyhoo · 09/01/2013 17:19

and it's not as if anyone else is saying the same thing as i am is it? it must be me that's wrong Hmm

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/01/2013 17:20

OneLittle - maybe she has another ex-husband tucked away who is miraculously going to give her £££ out of the goodness of his heart.

Or a lottery win.

CinnabarRed · 09/01/2013 17:22

OK, leaving aside the your XH/his XW part, I just don't get why you want to bring another child into the mix so soon.

You started seeing your BF in May 2012, when you went on the pill, having been working with him for years beforehand. As of December, you were still saying you hated children.

Somehow, sometime over Christmas you had a road-to-Damascus style conversation, and decided you had to have a child.

As of last Sunday morning, you were posting that you want a DC but your BF isn't sure so you were going to stick with the pill for the time being.

Last Sunday evening Confused you posted that you've thrown your pills away.

Earlier today you started not one but two threads asking if you might be pregnant already, after shagging on Monday and Tuesday nights.

FFS, slow down. Give everyone in this situation, yourself included, another few months to let the raw emotions which must still be floating around settle. Then see if you still want a baby so badly.

Reaa · 09/01/2013 17:23

What on earth is going on here, I have gone from feeling sorry for the op to hating her.....it's sounding to me the only reason you op want a baby is so you can say haha I have your man and his baby now look at me aren't I much better than you! How can you even think about having a baby when neither of you are in a position to have one.....if you really love each other then wait until divorce(s) come through and houses have been dealt with and lets not forget a poor little girl is wondering where her daddy has gone and what did do wrong to make him go away!

Chandon · 09/01/2013 17:28

I agree the OP comes across as hard, unfeeling and selfish. No feeling for the girl at all, nothing...

Somehow. OP, you are literally, extremely calculating, don't you even feel a tiny bit embarrassed?

happynewmind · 09/01/2013 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzywuzzy · 09/01/2013 17:32

Without giving you exact figures OP. I'm a SP. with a very good job.

ex pays CSA (via an attachment if earning order) & the mortgage on the former marital home in which the children & I reside, he has no entitlement on the profits of my property in the event I sell it.

In view of this OP, maybe you may wish to consider exactly how much more your OH could be paying his ex, perhaps you may decide the current arrangement your OH has in view of what a court could order is far more palatable.