Today's the FIRST and we still have each other :)

[MummyMcKT]

A thread for all of us who were due in 2010 and who've bonded through the last few weeks.

It doesn't matter where your head/heart's at on this journey at the moment just as long as you want some company....

Hey all / YRMOTB

Good to hear from you. Don't know about everyone else but I still read this thread daily - don't want to be the obvious constant poster tho! - have pondered that it might be good to move us out of the m/c bit and into a "friendship" area but there doesn't seem to be one here. As loopy said it's a constant reminder - not that there's any getting away from it.

My second AF post mc is due this week (I think). We have actually DTD this month and I'm trying not to think about whether or not we might have got lucky. Trying not to think isn't working out too well - have POAS twice so far - very early cheapie ones and predictably BFNs. Am so on edge just now......DP has no idea when my next AF is due (and given it's only the second one neither am I really) so I'm managing to "hide" when I'm feeling so pants - should prob be open and honest but can't face both of us being totally obsessed

Have read various other sites that you and Loopy etc are on and agree the whole thing post mc ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY SUCKS!!

Remember I am here! (and I suspect the others are too) just don't always feel up to "chatting".

hey Loopy

Just read your post and think you are so wise!!

Am glad you're at where you're at on your journey.

I'm very up and down. Sometimes the holidays are a curse - it's harder to structure the days IYSWIM. In other ways the fact that I pretty much struggle to get out of bed before mid morning doesn't matter. so they're a blessing!
Am treating them as much much needed r n r and trying not to be too unkind on myself but def don't want to feel like this for much longer.

"My" state of frankness leads me to the overwhelming feeling that only my own LO will start to mend this great bloody hole. Not as a replacement for the twins - sometimes I don't even think about them now which makes me feel awful but I suppose it's a way of healing/moving on - but a LO who will make me a mum and therefore the only thing I think will make me feel whole.

Anyway enough about me. At the risk of sounding flippant - How are ye all?

Am thinking of Velvet in VEGAS!!!

Hope Cadmum survived the week without DH.

Hope your nan is still making you all laugh Fordy.

Hope you've found someone to talk to Pink.

Loopy/YRMOTB - Hello again.

Am still thinking of you all - it's just hard to know what to say sometimes x

Loopy - def a wise bird lol

Know exactly what you mean about potential pregnancy dates and it making what we're in just now that bit more bearable.

Have spent the day with my Dad - just doing "stuff" (DIY/Supermarket/Looking at houses that have been converted which are similar to DPs - and RIPE for conversion - lunch etc....) which I LOVED. I have the most brilliant fantastic Dad - 1:1 time with him is just what I needed today.

I cried when I waved goodbye out the window (and I see him and Mum all the time lol) - am def hormonal!!

Thanks Loopy Yesterday was indeed good Hopefully the first part of your prediction for next summer will come true!!

Went out for a very long walk with DP last night - legs pretty sore today due to my extreme lack of fitness

Sky+ed Toy Story2 - decided to watch it last night - thought it might be better rewatching them all in anticipation of a cinema visit to see the lastest one but the original is up at DPs house (aka as the giant storage facility for now lol!) ANYWAY this led us to watch "UP" instead (a bday pressie from DP) OMG I cried and cried.....and cried some more! (Very very poignant. Only bit I disliked were the rabid dogs )

Started spotting almost immediately after so AF def on its way by week-end. In a way made me feel better - felt like a release of pressure emotionally/physically (as it always does and made me think again - as it always does - that maybe things are not as bad as they feel and I'm just unlucky to get really bad PMT - although I worry I blame too much on that?!!?) Anyway have started taking my temp this morn and am going to try and chart my next few cycles - we're hoping this year will be lucky for us but agreed if it's not by the twins EDD in Dec then at least we'll have info when we go to the docs to discuss next steps.

How's you today Loopy? Haven't read the other threads you're on yet!!!!

Hope to hear from PinkC soon - alert!! I have to admit after reading your post here Loopy I did a name to check on her to see if she's ok - last post on MN was yest!! (so hopefully she's taking one day at a time and doing as well as possible for now). Hope that doesn't make me sound like a weird stalker but I like to "know" rather than worry IYSWIM.

TOY all

Enjoy your mums Loopy (and hopefully the beach!).

Am off to the docs this avo - think I've got an infection (arrgh!) hopefully just a urine one but want it checked oot and sorted before it does any harm! First time back there since horrendous time in May so am hoping I will be a big girl and not wobble!!!

Where IS everyone else? (obviously lead FAR more exciting lives than me! - I count you in that too Loopy - am sure you've just been here regularly cos kids were still at school. Now you've off to the beach..... camping.... am all alone lol )

Hello Peeps. I've been MIA for a couple of days, had a funeral to attend, and have lots and lots of uni work on. Which is wap, but keeps my mind busy!

I agree loopy that I too have tried to keep my halfarsed TTC off this board for fear of upsetting people. It is lovely to know you're all here though, I still read it at least every other day though. Back to being more of a lurker than a poster.

McKTastic Well done on starting to chart, already your efforts TTc have outstripped mine! I have only had one very light period anyway since my ERPC though still

I love Up. It makes me cry every time though. I took my ds to see it, he wasn't that bothered as it was a little slow for him but i LOVED it. We are off to see Toy Story 3 next week, I can't wait!

pink hope you're ok xx

Sorry all, I have not been online much recently, other than very quickly to buy my nephew some dungarees on here! Has been end of term & I have been pretty exhausted, to the point I ignored my offspring (one of which was sent down to watch telly at 6.15am!) this morning & managed to lie in until 9.45am! I really needed it though.
Have also had 2 nights now without the night panics, which is good.
I got the letter from the doctors about the counselling yesterday. They are now saying there is around a 10 week wait, which still seems a very long time.

Good luck with TTC, McKTastic & Loopy. I can imagine it is frustrating, but good that you are now trying. Wish I could, but still not in the right place.
How did you get on at the doctors, McKTastic?

Hello to everyone else, hope you're all ok. Am on holiday now until 1st September, so hopefully will have more time to post.

Good to hear from you Pink

Am glad you're a (wee) bit further forward with the counselling wait (total pants it's not available sooner - also think we should've all been offered it as part of our "care"). Did anything come of the MA association and getting a telephone buddy?

I don't think there's anything wrong with a wee bit of getting your offspring to fend for themselves if it gives you much needed rest. Look after yourself. (((hugs)))

I am now on antibiotics Thanks for your wishes re TTC - don't feel like we are doing it actively but am trying to get into that frame of mind (luck would bring us our first DC so I don't think I can actively not try IYSWIM) For what it's worth my head's prob not there yet either. Have managed to take advantage of the hols with my lie ins and have needed them but it worries me that my "bounce" is still missing in action! Keep telling myself it's a time thing - the days are def passing so there must be something in that!

hey.. I am here just find it hard to know what to say at times...I'm finding things hard but am kinda distracted by my nan at the mo so I hope it doesn't come back to haunt me, when I eventually lose her

I also had a smear test that needs further investigation, whichI am sure will all be fine but I feel like my luck is sooo bad right now that I'm not holding my breath.

Hello to you all, its still a blinkin rollercoaster isn't it??? I'm still trying to lose weight but I can't seem to get my motivation here for more than a few days...sooo annoying!!!

Okies, I am off to finish watching old reruns of er...and ladies you do all sound like you are in pretty good places all beit with little wobbles but you are all wonderful amazing people and it will happen when its meant to x xx

I did survive the week without dh and now I am recovering from the week of having him home ill with throat, ear, and sinus infection.

I only have 6 minutes before my Khmer lesson starts and I am supposed to be studying my consonants... Snuck onto MN to try and find you.

I am sorry that everyone is still up and down but I do think that it is perfectly normal at this stage and that it would be more worrying if you were happy-go-lucky.

Must run but I will try to have a proper catch-up again soon.

I hope all goes ok with your smear test investigations, fordy.
Am with you with the whole losing weight thing. I know I have put on a few pounds since my MC, as my waistbands on clothes are feeling a little tighter, but can't seem to stick at a diet for more than a couple of days & it is impossible at weekends...I like food & wine too much! No willpower what so ever!!

Hope the antibiotics kick in soon, McKTastic.

I had a few tears again yesterday morning. They were very out of the blue, but I am due a period soon which won't be helping. Other than that I had been doing a little better over the last couple of weeks.
I just feel my head is all messed up since the MC. I sometimes wish I could just shake out the contents.

you nearly lost us??

That has prompted me to write!

Glad you've been feeling a smidgen better pink. The period brings me out in tears every month without fail, let alone when we've got all this trauma to deal with.

fordy sorry to hear about the smear results, am sure it will be fine, loads of them come back inconclusive and requiring further investigation for one reason or another, am sure it's just a blip.

mckt hope you're ok. Are you holiday planning?? I have gone a little crazy and am trying to plan a summer holiday next year as its the last year before the boy goes to school

Waves to cadmum and loopy. Are you both ok?

thanks lovelies, I am not worrying about it really, its just another thing to go wrong this year but yes you are right i'm sure it will all be fine.

Aww pink have a bit of a hug, i have been crying a bit more lately too, also I went to see my homeopath friend who has given me a rememdy for grief and has warned me it may bring on lots of tears and emotions...have warned DP

big waves at you all, how are your summers going???

Hello all

Have been following this over last few days and seen it's rise and fall through the active convos !

Good to hear from some of you.

Your homeo remedy sounds interesting Fordy - wish you didn't need it but hope it helps.

Have been spotting YRMOTB and Loopy on other posts and always good to read your chat - am sorry about your posts today Loopy - know how I felt last month so sending you some (((hugs)) and hope you can stay positive (here's to your week-end drinking too)

Our hol plans have boiled down to walking into a travel agent two days before departure to see where they can send us for buttons (have always wanted to do that!) Failing anything promising will be packing a tent (hopefully a new more deluxe model!) into the car and seeing where that (or the sat nav!) takes us! Hopefully all will be good - and I'll let you know!

DP off this week-end so am now trying to find us somewhere nice to go as a surprise Am still finding it impossible to make decisions unless I HAVE TO!!

Big hello to all x

Hi all

just wanted to say I am still around and I still need you all!!

Am in la atm - having a day on the beach tomorrow :-)

Had a bit of a cry during the drive here - hero by Mariah came on the radio and got me going. Think is was a bit of a release from holding it all together at work.

Last thing - we are ttc too and I also didn't want to upset anyone with it. Don't know what my body is doing as I still haven't had a proper period yet after the erpc.

Anyway hope you are all good and I will catch up with all of you properly when I get back in 10 days time

Am sneaking on here VERY quickly then off (where the car takes us but most likely up north!) just wanted to say hello to Loopy - i can empathise with everything you've written at the beginning of your post despite not having my own dc's. I think there are many of us feeling similar - still don't know how we get through it other than one day at a time (and breaking that into smaller chunks when it's really really hard) but wanted to say for what it's worth I think it takes a VERY SPECIAL person to feel like that and still have the ability to write lovely messages for everyone else on here TOY.

(TOY too Velvet and also VERY at you being stateside - we should've planned more!! ENJOY! ENJOY! ENJOY! )

Will catch up with everyone next week x

Oh loopy. So sorry to hear you've been wibbling. let me assure you too, that I am feeling all that you are, my baby would have fitted just right in November, and everything would have been perfect, and I too am being an irritable narky mummy.

However, you've had so much to deal with that a wibble is to be expected. Especially as it is AF and hormones running riot. It's only been 2 months. I think we need to be a bit kinder to ourselves really, we're all doing so well considering.

I am hormonal and upset and angry. I wish today that I was normal. I think AF has started, but i also thought that about the bleeding i had 2 weeks ago . However, this bleed is accompanied by wanting to kill everyone, crying my eyes out at Toystory 3, Being very spotty in a teenage manner, and being a miserable bitch.

Sorry not to namecheck, but i'm a miserable twit. Will return and post niceties soon though. ((hughs)) to all, I know I need them today.