I wondered if it might be helpful to tell my recent experiences to anyone out there who is waiting to miscarry (oh joy) and wondering which of the three delightful choices on option to go for ... I believe they are called natural, surgical, and medical. I have just read back through the whole of what I've written below, and think I should mention that I have included some gritty details (as this is what I personally have been looking for on forums for the last couple of weeks, in order to know the worst and prepare myself). If you'd rather not hear about these, and I'm sure each experience is different anyway, please don't read on. I would hate to upset anyone further at what is such a difficult and upsetting time anyway.
I had brown spotting at what I thought was 11 weeks and toddled off to hospital, not too worried, to check it out - was scanned and told that pregnancy only looked about 5 weeks ... I didn't think this was possible, but of course clung to hope that I might have my dates hopelessly wrong and waited another 9 days (increasing spotting, but still brown) for a second scan to confirm that pregnancy had, as they so sweetly put it, 'failed'. After nearly two weeks of this light bleeding, and feeling increasingly exhausted and emotional, I was told about the three options for the miscarriage: to wait it out and let it happen (natural), to be given some pills that day, and more two days later and then sit on a pot in hospital until 'everything' hopefully came out (medical), or to go in for a general anaesthetic and get it all taken out (surgical). I asked for some time, as felt I didn't want to be rushed into things, and I would advise anyone else in this horrible position to do the same. I was given what i think was a helpfully informative leaflet from the Miscarriage Association - I think the same info is available from them on line. I was far too tearful to be able to make a decision at that moment in the hospital in any case, and really needed to talk to my husband ... or have a hug. Or both. My inclination was to let things happen naturally. I had a mc six years ago (which I don't remember being all that bad - like the mother of all periods, but manageable and over in a few hours), and have since had a beautiful baby girl (21 months ago)and found I was lucky enough to be able to cope with labour pain naturally (baby in uncomplicated position and small). HOWEVER, back to the present - after so much time waiting already, bleeding a little, grieving a lot, I also wanted it to HAPPEN in order to know it was over. And then I had an inspiration. When my pregnancy went over due date by a week, and with the the threat of being induced three days later, I went to see an amazing ex-midwife/acupuncturist who works at Holistic Health on Broadway Market (Hackney, London). She got things going, exactly as she predicted, and I actually had my daughter naturally on the day I was due to be induced. So, I thought, perhaps she could help get the miscarriage moving as well? I know that sounds a painfully matter-of-fact way of putting it, but maybe if you are out there waiting, you will know what I mean by wanting things to happen, perhaps so that you can actually believe them. To cut a long story short, I had acupuncture on Thursday afternoon and was told to expect things to start in about 24 hours. I should also say that the acupuncturist, Alison, is an absolutely lovely woman, and almost the only person I've seen so far in a professional capacity to say they were sorry, and ask how I was feeling. Beleiving implicitly that I had 24 hours to get my thoughts in order also gave me time to go to my graduation ceremony on Friday (ah!), feed my daughter and put her to bed that eve, and then it all started. The power of the mind? An hour or so of severe period-type pains, followed by bleeding that was heavy enough to mean I couldn't get off the loo. Like a fast dripping tap, or more - sorry to be graphic, but I spent ages on forums looking for gory details so I could prepare myself, and didn't find nearly enough (for me, as I said above, I'm sure not everyone wants to know all this). Husband, and sister (who'd come down for graduation - believe it or not, we'd had a great day), ferried hot sweet tea to the bathroom door and took it in turns to sit on stairs to chat. This went on for several hours. I didn't want to be alone, but also didn't want them to see anything. Make sure you have several packets of those enormous 'night-time' pads in if you are planning to do this at home - i only had one pkt, so my sis had to go out to all-night corner shop on Clapton's so-called 'murder mile' at 3am: not ideal. Unfortunately, it all got a bit out of hand by 4am with me fainting all over the place, and hitting head on bedroom door, but this does not have to happen - it was just bad luck. Apparently, it's to do with blood clots etc geting stuck in the cervix, rather than passing out freely. So in the end, went to hospital in ambulance (oh, the drama) and got a drip and finally admitted at 6am, where I stayed until 4pm the next afternoon. I felt that it was getting too hard for my husb and sis to manage me at home, and was worried that daughter would wake and get upset. Apparently husband was slapping me round the face to get me to come round at one point, but I don't remember this, and frankly think he's seen one too many episodes of ER.
Home Saturday afternoon with lighter bleeding (like hefty period) and painkillers and iron tablets. Nurses were ok, two of them lovely, but the doc in A and E should be made to go through a mc himself. It might make him a little gentler with the tube thing (speculum?) and improve his bedside manner. Then, yesterday afternoon, stronger pains for 10 mins or so, and suddenly a big lump of what I can only describe as looking lke an internal organ (about the size of an apple) came out. A huge wave of relief, complete cessation of PAIN, and a strange feeling of completeness. I have a follow-up scan tomorrow to check nothing has been left behind, but after that little lot, I'd be both surprised and horrified if it has. (Am still bleeding, like period, slight pain) Would I go natural again? Yes, probably, with the help of acupuncture to assist with knowing when it would happen. But I would send my daughter to stay with grandparents and be prepared for hospital if the fainting thing happened again (ie have little bag of useful things like wet wipes, toothbrush, clean pants, those enormous pads, and bed socks packed). And as for getting back to normal, emotionally and physically, the hospital have given me a sick note for two weeks, and I am definitely going to take this week off work. I'll see how I feel next. And I shall be going back to see the acupuncturist in a few weeks for help 'balancing' my system. Apart from that, lots more hot tea, time in bed, and as many hugs as I can get. I wonder if this will really help anyone, or whether it has been more of a cathartic exercise for me? I've never been on a forum before, but have found other postings useful, so if you read this and want to respond I'll try to look back again soon and answer any questions you may have.