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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Yesterday I had miscarried- today there is a heartbeat

82 replies

cupofteaplease · 15/04/2009 13:27

I have posted this on my ante-natal thread, so appologies for repeating myself.

Basically I had a scan 2 weeks ago that showed a baby with heartbeat, but 2 weeks smaller than I was expecting. So I had another scan yesterday at the same private clinic and she informed me that the baby had died. No heartbeat was found, so she referred me to the EPU this morning.

The lovely sonographer was very matter of fact. She said she appreciates that when these things happen you just want them over with quickly so you can move on. I totally agreed. But she had to do the scan to confirm everything and prepare a report for the doctor. So she did the trans ab scan and could not see clearly, so she appologised for needing to do the TV scan.

She started the scan and showed me the sac which she said should look like a balloon, all round and taught. She explained that mine was deflated as if it was 2 weeks after the party. We all had a bit of a laugh and she took the measurements. She was pointing things out and explaining what was what. Then she moved the probe around and showed me the 'fetal pole' from a different angle, as she explained it was lying on a vessel, so she needed another view of it.

Then she stopped and spun the screen back to her. She was pulling lots of confused faces and called her colleague over. All of a sudden they both said, 'mmm! Oh!' and then they spun the screen back. She said, 'do you see what we see?' dh said yes and began to well up, I hadn't dared look until now- so when I glanced at the screen I was very surprised to see a little heart pumping away.

I got a bit 'cross' at this point and explained that I didn't understand because my baby had died. She said, no, as far as we are concerned, there is a heartbeat so your baby is still alive.

SO, the upshot of it is- baby seems to have got smaller since my first scan 2 weeks ago, and is only measuring 3mm. However, they were really disgusted with the private sonographers measurements from the 2 scans, apparently she had typed up things on the report that were an impossibility. However, the baby has grown a small amount since yesterday's measurements.

I said to the sonographer- so, basically there is still a heartbeat but the baby is too small so it will probably die anyway. She said, 'I'm not saying that- you are!'

Afterwards with the nurse, she had her little wheel out and was trying to convince me that my dates could be out (but agreed that a 3mm baby could not be 7 weeks, which is the absolute miniumum I could be if my dh had miracle sperm that lasted 10 days lol!) But she swore that 'miracles happen all the time, God willing.' She said the heartbeat was not slow or irregular.

My dh is adamant that everything will be ok, maybe the baby is just small. I am not so sure as I don't want to get my hopes up. After all, I was told yesterday that the baby had died. I also do not understand how a 3mm baby can have a heartbeat.

I have to go back for another scan next Wednesday and take it from there. But apparently, my baby is still alive and I am still pregnant. So overwhelmed, I just don't know what to think.

Anyone with a similar experience? Any advice- obviously prepare for the worst?

OP posts:
deanychip · 19/04/2009 19:12

You have given me a tiny bit of hope actually, so thanks cupoftea.

Im going on Tuesday to have a scan to confirm that there is nothing in my gestational sac. I measured 6+1 last week and it was empty. This is also not a reflection on my dates either (like you)
If this has happened to you, then there may be a tiny glimmer of hope for me. Isnt there.

Have to say tho, that i have had several previous miscarriages and at the scan of one of them, they told me that there was defo a heart beat...turned out to be one of my own blood vessels pulsating, not a baby at all. So i have little faith or trust i am afraid.

I competely understand why you feel down and hate this not knowing, it is crippling.
Sounds very positive for you, hoping that everything turns out wel and that you will have a baby at the end of it.
You just never know what is coming do you?

iggypiggy · 20/04/2009 10:26

Cupoftea so sorry to read this as we were on the same antenatal thread

I had a MC on Easter Sunday after one scan showing a small bean measuring a week to small in age with a very slow heartbeat. Dr was worried and said to come back in a week - which I did - and that was the worst ever week of waiting and having a small amount of hope that it culd be ok cos there was a heart beat - but also all the doubt.

Sadly for me the heartbeat had gone a week later and the bean hadn't grown - so I knew I was miscarrying.

I hope your news is good - I just know how horrible the waiting is xx

cupofteaplease · 20/04/2009 17:58

Well I have started bleeding just now, so I guess that it's all over.

So, so sad that this has happened and my little fighter couldn't hang on.

My dh is at work until 10.30pm so I've rung him to let him know, and he just said, 'okay then'...

I have to go and get my girls sorted out ready for bed now. I'm quite scared about what I may see/feel over the next few hours/days

OP posts:
sarah293 · 20/04/2009 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Laugs · 20/04/2009 18:09

cupofteaplease I'm so so sorry. You've had a traumatic week but I was really hoping it was going to turn out for the best.

Is there anyone who can come and mind the girls for you?

HappyBump · 20/04/2009 18:10

I've been following your thread but haven't posted yet.
I just wanted to say I am thinking of you.
Take care

EldonAve · 20/04/2009 18:13

Sorry to hear this cupofteaplease

JustKeepSwimming · 20/04/2009 18:16

Thinking of you

Themasterandmargaritas · 20/04/2009 19:10

I'm so sorry.

cupofteaplease · 20/04/2009 21:05

Thanks for the support. I'm having bad 'period pains' in my lower back (this is where I feel contractions when in labour too- don't know if this is anyting to do with having a rear tilting womb, that is probably for another thread)

Anyway, I am scared of going to the loo. There are bits and pieces floating in the water. This is bringing back bad memories of last time.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 20/04/2009 21:06

I am so, so sorry.

Bicnod · 20/04/2009 21:41

Oh cupoftea - I'm so sorry Sending huge hugs and thinking of you x x x

bettyboo26 · 20/04/2009 22:01

Cupofteaplease,
I have been following your thread and have been thinking about you.
I am so sorry to hear your terrible news, I can't imagine how you must be feeling.
Is there someone who could come and be with you until DH gets home? Hate to think of you being on your own.
Sending big ((((((hugs)))))

Jacanne · 20/04/2009 22:11

So sorry cupoftea - horrible thing to go through on your own - i hope dh is home soon. So sorry your little bean didn't make it.

tattifer · 20/04/2009 22:14

cupoftea my thoughts are with you. I've been following the thread (I had erpc after missed miscarriage two weeks ago - my second mc in 6 months). Be as strong as you can be and cry all you need to x

treedelivery · 20/04/2009 22:19

Was looking for this thread today - am so so sorry for you and your dp. He's home now I guess so I hope that is helping.

I hope your back isn't too sore - do take some pain killers if you want too and maybe a hot water bottle would help it. You poor thing. x

SuziSeis · 20/04/2009 22:21

thinking of you x

PlumBumMum · 20/04/2009 22:23

Cupofteaplease
hope your okay and that your dh is home now

MmeLindt · 20/04/2009 22:41

What a horrible rollercoaster of emotions you have been through these past weeks. So sorry that it turned out this way.

(((hugs)))

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 20/04/2009 22:44

I'm so sorry to hear tonight's news, I've been hoping so hard for you.

blinks · 20/04/2009 22:51

sorry this is happening to you both. i hope you can support each other through this.

iggypiggy · 21/04/2009 08:57

So sorry to read this - I had everything crossed that yours would be ok.

I know how horrible it all is - so will be thinking of you xx

treedelivery · 21/04/2009 15:14

How are you today?

cupofteaplease · 21/04/2009 16:19

Hi, thanks again for all the lovely messages- it really helps to 'talk' about it on here.

I decided to confide in my sister this afternoon and her immediate reaction was- 'why aren't you at home lying down. You might've been able to save it if you weren't walking around!' Not sure how helpful that was really. I also got a bit of, 'well it's not a 'proper' baby until 12 weeks', then went onto say I have perhaps jinxed the pregnancy by not telling people before 12 weeks, as if I expect something to happen. Maybe she is right on that last point, after a MC, how can you ever relax and enjoy a pregnancy? I know I can't. Perhaps it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, I'll never know.

Anyway, I know she was only trying to be helpful, so I definitely won't be telling anyone else, bar my best friend who is coming this evening, as I want to give her an explanation for my tiredness etc on Saturday at her hen do. I wasn't a very fun friend.

Not having much bleeding really, only brown when I wipe. Roll on tomorrow for my scan.

OP posts:
Bettymum · 21/04/2009 16:31

Just read this, wanted to let you know you have another virtual hand to hold or shoulder to cry on.