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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Anyone there to hold my hand....please.

115 replies

calsworld · 27/08/2008 07:57

I'm about 9 weeks pregnant and when I went to the toilet last night I was bleeding. This was at about 10.15

I rang the emergency number on my notes and they said to call out of hours doctor, which I did. I went to see her and by this time had been to the loo about -100-- times several times and to start off with the blood died down but I've had more again this morning.

Its not bright red, neither is it brown, but its quite dark red. There's quite a bit of clotty bits in it.

Yesterday morning and this morning I've had quite bad pains followed by a poo - similar to what I would normally experience during periods due to my endometriosis, and when I've been to the loo the pain has gone.

My tummy feels sore today - the kind of discomfort I've been attributing to stretching and growing, but its not painful, if that makes any sense. Doctor says I have to wait it out but has moved my scan from next week to tomorrow. I wish it was today though.

I don't really know why I'm posting as I know that no-one can tell me if the pregnancy is ending or if in fact everything will be OK, but it feels better to write it down.

OP posts:
Original poster
calsworld · 27/08/2008 13:54

I'm feeling quite lonely and a bit lost. I went to the loo just before having the shower and whilst there's barely anything there, the little bit that was on the tissue was quite bright red .

I don't know what to do with myself.

OP posts:
dinny · 27/08/2008 14:03

Calswordl, until you know otherwise, try not to assume the worst

that's what I'm trying to do, but it's so hard, I know

Original poster
calsworld · 27/08/2008 14:11

Bless you Dinny. I hope everything turns out OK for both of us x

OP posts:
MKG · 27/08/2008 14:13

I hope neither of you are going alone tomorrow. If your dps can't go please ask someone else to be there.

dinny · 27/08/2008 14:28

yes, my dh is coming - kids are going to a friend's house

am dreading it - mw said to tell the sonographer have had a bleed first

Original poster
calsworld · 27/08/2008 15:02

I did wonder if the sonographer would be aware or if I would have to say. DS will go to nursey as normal again tomorrow and dh will take me to the appt.

I'm dreading it too, apart from the obvious, I'm worried about being around happy pregnant people.

But I'm also looking forward to it so that we can find out what the score is and deal with it as appropriate.

OP posts:
dinny · 27/08/2008 15:15

yes, my midwife said to tell him/her (sonographer) about the bleeding

yes, I just want to know what's what and deal with it too

GYo · 27/08/2008 17:34

Cals- just wanted to send you lots of best wishes for tonight and tomorrow. Hope the scan is conclusive so you can rest your mind either way, but Im keeping every finger and toe crossed for you....

Original poster
calsworld · 27/08/2008 18:51

Thanks GYo, and everyone else from the wagonners thread for popping over here. Just doesn't feel right to be anywhere else.

I've slept a bit more this afternoon and the bleeding is still the same - just smears on the toilet paper with clots mixed in. Still predominantly dark red in colour but with some fresher brighter red starting to streak through. My tummy isn't as sore as it was though.

I've been trying to drink lots and just take it easy and am dreading tomorrow.

DH is trying to feed DS dinner, by the smell wafting up the stairs he's having fish fingers and it smells lovely! Perhaps I'll get DH to do the same for me .

I feel very blank and it all seems a bit surreal now.

OP posts:
dinny · 27/08/2008 18:57

yes, make sure you eat something, Cal, you have to look after yourself for ds

I feel terribly sick, but don't think that means anything one way or another

Original poster
calsworld · 27/08/2008 19:05

I felt sick earlier on too. Hope you're holding out Ok Dinny.

DS has just come to the bottom of the stairs and is shouting for me . I could go downstairs of course but don't have the energy.

Oh...here they are!

OP posts:
glaskhamhasoneintheoven · 27/08/2008 19:16

mmmmmm fish fingers cals!!

you're making me want fish finger butties with ketchup again!!!

look after yourself tonight and hope all goes well tomorrow!!

will be thinking of you!1 do pop into the wagon to let us know!! X

SesQal · 27/08/2008 19:23

Hi Cal. Glad you've had lots of support on here during the day. Hope you manage to have something to eat this evening. I'm normally up working / on internet until about 10pm so if you need to pop on later and offload, I'll probably be around. I'm hoping you'll get some sleep tonight but take care and hope all goes well tomorrow.

Dinny - same goes for you too. Fingers crossed.

In terms of worrying about lots of happy pg ladies in the ultrasound dept, the first time I got bad news in the ultrasound room, the sonographer was really good and made sure no one was in the waiting area when we walked back through. The second time, really insensitive sonographer didn't think about that but tbh I didn't care as was a bit self absorbed.

Hoping you can both come out with smiles though. x

dinny · 27/08/2008 19:32

thanks, Sesqal - that's what I'm dreading, as my scan is already booked as nuchal app, if you see what I mean

SesQal · 27/08/2008 19:36

I know - I had a 12 week scan booked the first time with no signs of mc at all and came out having discovered they thought the baby had died at 6 weeks. Had expected to come out with a few piccies...
I guess that's the thing about pregnancy. No 2 are the same at all and what might be thought of as signs of mc may well not be and then someone like myself with no sign at all can suddenly find out things aren't good.
I am really feeling for you both but it is a likely possibility that all will be ok. Although I'll be at work tomorrow, my thoughts will be with you both.

dinny · 27/08/2008 19:38

poor you, SesQal - suppose at least dh and I am forewarned
Dinny x

SesQal · 27/08/2008 19:40

Don't worry, we're getting there. I don't know what's worst really as at least we didn't have a day of torture and turmoil like today for you.
Take care, Ses x

Original poster
calsworld · 27/08/2008 20:48

Evening Ses, thanks for sharing and glad you're about. DH is just about to bring some dinner up as despite all that's going on, I'm quite hungry.

I'm starting to get very strong period pains now and there's even more bleeding. I'm not holding it together very well at all. I'm trying to stay strong but I don't feel there's really much hope at all at this stage.

OP posts:
SesQal · 27/08/2008 20:53

Oooh! We're x posting on both threads!! Don't worry about holding it together - that's not important at the moment. I can't really appreciate how much this must be messing with your head. If you're anything like me, I'm a bit of a control freak and just can't stand the not knowing and not being able to know this minute.
Do you have a hot water bottle that DH can fill for the pains?

Original poster
calsworld · 27/08/2008 21:25

What I'm worried about most is it hurting physically, I just don't know how I'm going to cope if it gets really painful and I really don't want to drag DS down to A&E, but couldn't face going down without DH. We've got no support locally - I guess we really ought to think about that.

There's a part of me that's known something was wrong for a while. I even asked the MW at my booking in if she thought that I would miscarry. She said there were no guarantees in life but I didn't present any particular risk, which is as much reassurance as she could give of course. It was an unfair question to ask, but reflective of my underlying feeling that something was wrong.

Thanks for spending time here with me Ses, I know it can't be easy for you either. to you for being so strong and good to me.

OP posts:
SesQal · 27/08/2008 21:34

It's strange how we can look back and see how we thought there was something wrong. I remember reading the leaflet about scans and seeing that about 2% go to 12 week scan to find no heartbeat and that really stuck with me right the way through. The morning of the scan I was on the phone to a friend in floods of tears as I was so worried but told myself the chances of anything being wrong were so small that I was being silly.

Re pain, I can only tell you my experience of ERPC clear out op which was like really bad period pain for 24-48hrs. I took nurofen plus and it kept it dulled down. Mild cramps maybe for another couple of days afterwards. It really was the emotional pain that was more difficult and it was at that point that I discovered MN for the first time and they've not been able to get rid of me from here since!

GYo · 27/08/2008 21:35

Hi cal just checking in quickly to see if your ok. Glad that your dh is such a star and Ses has been here with you.
Get a reasonable night of rest. Take care. X

Dalrymps · 27/08/2008 21:37

Oh cal, sorry to hear you are still having such a worrying and difficult time . Have you taken some painkillers? Maybe you could take some paracetamol, then if you do experience any more pain it might not be quite as bad iyswim?

What time is your scan tomorrow?

Hope you enjoyed your tea.

Sorry if my post seems a bit random, I'm not very good at knowing what to say in these situations. Just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you.

BeHereNow · 27/08/2008 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laughalot · 27/08/2008 21:47

Hope it all turns out ok I had bleeding with both my children and they pulled through it so there is hope. Take care xx