Missed Miscarriage at 12 week scan

[minimonstera]

Hello, this was my first pregnancy and I went for my 12 week scan yesterday and discovered my baby was smaller than it should have been and had no heartbeat. I’m utterly devastated. I was told the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. 💔

They told me I have three options with miscarriage management, wait for the tissue to pass naturally, take a pill or have an operation. I have had absolutely no bleeding and no majorly painful cramps at any point in my pregnancy.

At this current time I am too traumatised to go back to hospital, after what happened yesterday so I’m opting to wait for it to happen naturally.

I just wanted to ask on here if anyone had the same experience and opted to wait for it to happen naturally. I’m so sorry to anyone who has also experienced this, yesterday was the worst day of my life.

I think waiting for it to occur naturally is the right choice for me but any advice from anyone who has been through it would be greatly received. ❤️

I am so sorry to hear this.
Yes, this happened to me. I waited for it to happen naturally. Which was rather quick after my brain had caught up with what had happened inside my body. I think it was the next day in fact.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I experienced this several years ago but chose to take the pill. It wasn't effective and I ended up as an inpatient and had to use pessaries. I was twelve weeks also, but whatever there had been of a baby had been reabsorbed. In terms of what happened physically, there were contractions but these were manageable with painkillers. Large chunks of tissue came out (up to fist sized) and the medical staff wanted to check these. I did require a change of clothes as I bled through. After, it was more like a heavy period for a couple of weeks.
For me, this was my third loss and so there was an investigation over the following months. However, I've gone on to have another two children (I already had one before my losses).
Make sure to take time to care for yourself. I'm sending unmumsnetty hugs.

I had a MMC and I opted for a D and c because two friends had managed it at home and said it was too hard but it was a time they really grieved their loss which I struggled to do after the procedure as I went in pregnant and 2 hours later came out not pregnant with very little bleeding after which was hard in it’s own way.

im so sorry you are going through this. Take whatever time you need and ask as many questions as you need to help you through such a traumatic time :(

Hi. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

I would 100% have the surgical option. I've seen far too many threads on here about women who opt for medical management, and then end up needing surgery several weeks (and a lot of bleeding and pain) later.

I had a lot of miscarriages and I always had the surgery. It's over with then, and if you want to, you can start trying again.

I am very sorry that you've lost your baby.

I'm really sorry this has happened to you.
I opted for the operation, made it feel 'done' for want of a better word. I was in at 8am and going home by 12 ish.

There is no easy option here but take whichever feels best for you.

I also opted for the D&C for my miscarriage. Mine was slightly different in that it was a blighted ovum (egg is fertilised and implants but then nothing much happens after that) but I had no signs of anything being amiss until my 12 week scan, so clearly my body wasn't recognising the miscarriage and expelling the tissue. From what I can remember I think I finally started bleeding heavily the day before I was scheduled for the D&C but I still went ahead with it. I also just wanted it to be over.

This also happened to me - but the waiting at home was agony - I felt I couldn't move on until it was over and that I couldn't leave the house in case the miscarriage started x

Sorry.

It took about another 6 weeks for my body to realise that my baby was gone. That was from the scan to confirm to it actually happening.
It was excruciatingly painful, contractions and very large blood loss.
I ended up in hospital as I couldn’t manage the pain and was terrified by the amount of bleeding.

I’ve had many many miscarriages and generally went for the medical management, again I always ended up in hospital due to the pain.

All the best xx

I am so sorry this happened to you too. Thank you so much for sharing. X

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you went through all of that! But I’m glad you came through it. Thank you so much for sharing, I really appreciate it x

I am sorry you experienced this too. Thank you so much for sharing what you went through ❤️

Hello, omg I’m sorry you have been through this so many times. My initial thought was to have the op but the thought of going back to the hospital filled me with immediate anxiety and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Perhaps I just need time to process. Thank you so much for sharing what you went through x

I totally understand this! I’ve been having the same thoughts myself.

I am so sorry you went through that Strawberry 🥺❤️

Oh my goodness. I’m deeply sorry you went through that. I feel as though my body isn’t recognising the fact that the baby is gone either so I’m wondering if I’ll experience the same as you. Thanks so much for sharing what you’ve been through x

I am so sorry @minimonstera
I opted for the pill which I took in hospital. I reacted badly to it and was terribly sick. I also had quite strong contractions. In the end I had a d and c. Sending you a big hug

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you.

I had exactly the same experience at my 12 week scan and although this was over 20 years ago, I can still remember how I was told, how I felt and having to tell my partner and family.

I had a D&C as there were no other options offered, but think that I would still do this.

Please look after yourself. It is so difficult and sad.

So sorry for your loss, I know how heart breaking it is.

Sadly I have experience of all three of those methods, from 3 separate losses. I found the d&c and 'easiest' physically. It was over quickly and minimal bleeding afterwards. The worst, for me at least, was taking the tablets. That was painful (very heavy cramps) and lots of blood, which came on very suddenly (well I was expecting it, but it went from 0 to 10 very quick), which I wasn't prepared for.

Go with what you feel comfortable with, it's a personal choice. If you are waiting for it naturally, you can always change your mind to one of the other options, so it's not set in stone. Sometimes it can take your body a while to naturally end things, but sometimes it can be quicker.

My maim advice is to take time to get over the emotional side. I went back to work after just a couple of days after i had my mmc at 12 and it was too soon and I regret rushing it. Do what feels right for you and don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. The exact same thing happened to me last june, 12 week scan, baby stopped growing at 8 weeks and 3 days. Even though I opted for medical management I just wanted to share my condolences. I'll attach a link of the thread I made back then of my positive as can be experience as most of the threads I read were extremely scary and wanted to help just one person if I could.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4910914-my-positive-experience-of-a-medical-management-for-a-miscarriage#:~:text=My%20experience%20was%20good%2C%20I,more%20kind%2C%20sympathetic%20and%20attentive.

I had a MMC too, the baby grew to 8 weeks, we found out at nearly 11 when I started bleeding. It was a very emotionally traumatic experience and my heart goes out to you. As others have said be kind to yourself and take time to process what happened, it’s a huge shock for you and I was very upset for a while.

I passed everything naturally, I did have some contractions and there was some pain, like bad period cramps. Practically do make sure you have lots of pads and maybe tena pants (which you can put pads in too) as there might be quite a lot of bleeding and for me the heavy bleeding started quite suddenly.

Sorry for your loss OP.
I went through something similar and opted for naturally letting it pass. It was ok, painful and sad. It took a couple of weeks to start and I seemed to bleed for a while after. I remember feeling frustrated as I wanted to simply stop enduring this sad time and on it went. It's hard, look after yourself x

I’m so sorry, all miscarriages are awful but missed miscarriages are especially cruel. I was in the exact same position as you last summer and it floored me physically and psychologically.

I know different treatment options are right for different people, i too opted to see if anything would happen naturally and whilst it started naturally I ended up having a procedure as after 6 days it was nowhere near over and it was absolute agony, and I feel I have a high pain threshold too. I was awake during the procedure and I found this mentally upsetting but physically ok.

Give yourself time and space to grieve, take time off work. It’s really hard, I found the month my baby was due particularly awful even all those months later. I still think about it a lot now almost 11 months later, but I try to think of it as an experience that has made me stronger and I will be there to help and guide any friends who may go through anything similar in the future (so strange but the only silver lining I can find really).

I'm so sorry op. It's a really awful situation to be I'm and I don't think there is a right or wrong way to deal with it.
I found out I had a mmc at an early scan (9w), baby had died the day before by the dates.
I opted for a mva (d&c) a few days later as I have other children and just wanted it over.
Physically it was OK, sad but not painful and over really quickly.
Mentally I processed it as best I could (again, no right or wrong way), but it happened, I couldn't change it.
I fell pregnant again a few months later and now have a happy 3 Yr old, incidentally born a year to the day I lost I found out it had died.
Be kind to yourself, do what is right for you.
Xx

I'm so sorry. It's a horrible thing to happen.

I also had a MMC discovered at the 12 week scan for my first pregnancy. The baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks apparently. I hadn't had any pain or bleeding beforehand.

The sonographer booked me in for another scan a week later in case I'd got my dates wrong, but I knew that I hadn't.

I was waiting for the follow up scan to decide how to proceed, but miscarried naturally the day before.

Personally, if it happened again I'd have a D&C. It was extremely painful, like a mini labour. Not at all like "a bad period" which I was led to expect. It also started very suddenly and in a public place far from home. Again, if I had to face it again I wouldn't leave the house until it was over.

I’m so sorry @minimonstera it’s just horrific, I’ve been there. I have had both medical & surgical.
I would choose surgical again. I found medical quite traumatic, yet with surgical you don’t even know it’s happening, and I woke up & it was done with little pain x