Will it ever happen?

[RMCx3]

4 losses... 3 last year and 1 just before my birthday this year. The recent was a CP.

I just feel it will never happen for me.

I feel so deflated.

I'm just sharing how I feel right now, as it's important that we do and don't bottle up how we feel.

I’m so sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you. I have no advice, but I just wanted to say I hear you and it’s so unfair. Wish I could wave a wand to make this happen for you. 💐

It did eventually for us. We were on three losses during a 22 month period of trying. The fourth pregnancy has stuck thanks to a combo of progesterone, vitamin D and aspirin I think!

I so hope it happens for you as well!

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I have had three losses (and I'm also very lucky in that I now have two children). It took its toll, and I felt defeated and broken by it all at one point.

You're right that sharing is important, and not to bottle it up. I discovered group sessions run by the miscarriage association, and being in a room full of women who just 'got it' was just what I needed. I also had some therapy to help me process some of the grief and trauma.

Look after yourself. Hopefully, your doctors will be able to find some answers or a way to support you. Many women who have multiple losses do go on to have the families they dream of. Wishing you all the best 💐

Hi there, interested to know it they put you on the vitamin D for a deficiency and how much you are on? I am on vitamin D following an MMC in the autumn.

@Objectiontime It was self prescribed as I did a private blood test after my second mmc which showed a severe deficiency. I started on 4000 a day for a few months but am now on 1000 a day.

I had three losses and then a success I was under the recurrent miscarriage clinic at St Mary's and on progesterone in the pregnancy that succeeded.

Thanks all for your replies. I dont think I've actually grieved the 4th loss and just made myself accept it, then Mother's Day just made me feel really sad.

I had progesterone in the 3rd pregnancy but that ended in a loss.

In the recent pregnancy I was on progesterone again, as well as clexane, aspirin and prednisolone. I'm still slowly coming off prednisolone and that is also playing with my emotions.

I've booked a group call with the miscarriage association.

I feel very broken inside 💔

I hope the session feels helpful to you. Recovery from loss can be a bumpy road, but you will heal, and won’t feel broken forever — and in the meantime, be gentle with yourself. You've been through something really difficult and it’s natural to feel the way you do. It’s because it is a really difficult thing to go through. But it will get better. Sending hugs x

Thank you, I hope so too x

Thank you, that is very interesting, I had some bloods done privately and was deficient in vitamin D and folate (despite already being on a high dose of folic acid - I now take natural folate instead). I also tested positive for antinuclear antibodies which a more recent test has found to be negative.
I also take a reasonable dose of Omega 3 too. Aspirin for me next time round for certain.

Just wanted to say I’m sorry. Deflated and broken is exactly how I feel too. I’ve had a couple of rounds of ivf and a couple of miscarriages over the last few years and I just don’t know what to do anymore.
My doc recommends the Chicago bloods panel and the Alice Emma test. 😫

Hi @Blossomofhope - I'm sorry as well, its truly the most heartbreaking thing we can go through.

Ive not heard of these tests, and research them.

Have you been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic?

My specialist has advised that I have a MRI to underline where my fibroids are and how big they are. For me, whilst i want to get to them bottom of eveything it's just a delay in being able to try again :(

No I haven’t been referred. I was referred to the early pregnancy unit though and have taken the pills twice as I had retained pregnancy tissue and clots. I have a scan on Friday again- if it’s not clear I’ll have to do the d&c. Bleeding starting 4 weeks ago - it’s just so long!! And we’re supposed to wait a month again before trying again 😭😭

so my understanding is the Chicago blood panel tests for killer cells. The Emma Alice test is a biopsy to check good and bad bacteria. I just feel like I’ve done a million tests. I was hoping we could just go straight into ivf again. So I totally feel your pain. Sounds like your consultant thinks the fibroids might be at the root of your problem?

It may be worth speaking with EPU or your GP. I'm sorry you are going through so much over the last few weeks, I really hope it clears soon for you and you can start to heal. Focus on your mental wellbeing as well.

Are EPU or your clinic doing the blood tests?

I think she is trying to find a cause so we can work a new plan going forwards, and fibroids have been seen in my TVS following my miscarriages. The MRI should show the size and exact location and whether they are the real cause.

Well although it feels like a pain at least you have a known problem to solve. Hope you get it sorted soon.
My clinic are recommending the blood tests but I have to actually do them elsewhere.

I think my partner wants to take a break from everything now but I just want to power on.

I hope my message can give you some hope.
I had 4 miscarriages and my 5th pregnancy was successful. My daughter is now 20 months.
The main difference for that pregnancy is that I was under steroids. I believe this has made a difference. I went through the care of Professor Brosens, a very caring man and the test he has developed to detect issues for women having recurrent miscarriages is very powerful.
I did it back in oct 2021 and last month following another miscarriage trying for baby #2. This time I was diagnosed with lowe Nk cells and low support for implantation and I have a medical plan in place.
I know how hard it is but keep up the positivity it will happen ❤️

Hope you manage to get to the bottom of it through testing. You've got this.
I know what you mean by your partner wanting a break, and you feel to keep going. Talk to your partner. I found this so useful for me
Xx

Hi @Kaliou - thank you for leaving your message. My heart feels full knowing you had your rainbow. This really does give me hope. I'm also under care of a consultant, and was on steroids in the 4th pregnancy. I still have hope for the next try.

I'm so sorry you had a further loss. I hope you are ok. Fingers crossed with the new plan, and sending positive vibes to you x

I’m so sorry OP. I had 1 DC, 4 back to back misscarriges (one at 11 weeks) and didn’t get pregnant again for 2 years despite trying and tracking. Now have a 10 day old after a consultant led pregnancy. I wish you all the very best and I really hope your little 🌈 is waiting to come earth side to you. X

Im so sorry about your losses, and I'm so glad you have your precious gifts, your lifelines ❤️

Thank you, your message really does mean a lot x

I hope things are looking up for you. It did for me—3 losses within a year and then a pregnancy that stuck. Nothing was found (I was 39 and was told “likely age”, which felt great….) I did have other kids though. My SIL also had 4 losses within a year and then, after tests and being given steroids, a successful pregnancy. Yet another friend is similar to me—nothing was found and she conceives fast, which I know is lucky, but has had several losses between kids. Definitely worth exploring if you can as for my SIL was something easily treated. Sending love. It’s a mindf ❤️

Hi - I know I haven't posted on her for a while. I had my rainbow baby after 4 losses. He is the apple of my eye and my world. I never thought this would happen - for those who may read this message looking for stories that will help which is something I did.... stay positive, do changes that you want to do but feel may get in the way if you got pregnant. I started a new job which I love and few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was holding my own life back and with a change of mindset everything changed. My job was much better and the people are amazing- so supportive!

My son is nearly 4 weeks old and I wouldn't change anything.

Good luck to those who are trying - I never thought it will happen but it did x

Oh @RMCx3 congratulations! Such wonderful news!

I had my third missed miscarriage last week after TTC for coming up to 2 years, and feeling everything you posted about originally.

I am trying to do things like you say about not holding life back - have just bought a very impractical 2 seater car!

I hope one day I can go back to one of the threads I started with a similar update to you

@RMCx3Congratulations! So glad you got your rainbow in the end 🥰

@Figtree11So sorry to hear you lost another :( I really hope you get your rainbow too.

@Figtree11 thank you for your message. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My son was born just over 2 years after our first loss. It's not for everyone but I done acupuncture and went down the alternative therapy route as conventional medication did not work for me (i had my 4th loss). I also took Chinese herbal medicines. Everything was completely natural for the therapy. In Chinese meds they say its about energy levels or kidneys rather than there is something actually wrong ( I was told by a gynaecologist to do ivf with genetic testing as basically I had no chance - maybe not in those words). I dont know if its that's the reason this baby stuck or it was just a good egg but I still believe strongly in the Chinese therapy ... continue to believe and honestly stay positive. The two seater car will soon need to be changed x