Think there’s a shadow of a line and need to know to start meds - after many losses

[DancinOnTheCeiling]

I hope someone can help. I’m convinced there's a shadow of a line. I’ve had many losses and have been prescribed high dose prednisolone, progesterone, aspirin, clexan injection etc. as I have issues with NK cells. Most of my losses have been at a very early stage so it is time sensitive to start the meds; otherwise I’d just wait until I know for sure I’m pregnant. We cannot seem to get a decent pregnancy test. FRERs are nowhere to be found. DH is trying to get a boots 5 days early. I hate all the blue dye ones. Any other decent tests? I think a FRER might arrive from Amazon tomorrow but I’ve heard Amazon FRERs are dodgy. I don’t want to start that type of medication unnecessarily as it’s strong, progesterone messes with my cycle etc. But I’m also worried if I don’t ‘get in there’ early it will be another loss. Thought I saw a tiny shadow of line last night but it didn’t come up on a picture and I’m convinced today’s is noticeable (if you look closely). Any thoughts? What would you do?

@DancinOnTheCeiling @UrsulaSings123 hope you are both ok 💐💐

Thinking of you today @DancinOnTheCeiling

Aw so sorry to hear you too are struggling with a growing belly while possibly miscarrying @UrsulaSings123. Yes it is so unfair.

I now can't imagine having a stress free pregnancy (either if I'm lucky enough that this one continues or in a possible future pregnancy). Miscarriages are such horrible experiences and cause so much anxiety.

I'm so sorry to hear it's all so difficult. Is your scan on Tuesday? Xx

Aw sorry to hear yours was so recent @nearly8 and that you've had three in a row. Miscarriages are just so hard. Sending a handhold and hoping for a rainbow baby for you soon xx

Thank you so much @Bumble88. My scan is not until next Friday so another agonising week to wait. I will definitely update after xx

@DancinOnTheCeiling thank you Hun it really does mean a lot. You're right MCs are shit.

Hope you're having a nice relaxing evening 💐💐

Yes thank you @nearly8, yes just chilling and watching some telly. Hope you too 💐💐

@DancinOnTheCeiling hahahaha if only. I'm on a 14 hour split shift. 4 hours to go. Oooh and a 12 hour through the night tomorrow... Wooooo hooooo 🤣🤣🤣 keeps me busy though I suppose. I fully intend on enjoying my Sunday off though as it's my only day off until the following Thursday. Take care hunny 💐💐

Thank you @nearly8 for your messages. It honestly helps to know that people care. Also sorry to hear about your miscarriages as well. Have you been seen by the recurrent miscarriage clinic? I have seen they will usually see you after 3 miscarriages.

@DancinOnTheCeiling yes it's on Tuesday afternoon. Prefer the morning but apparently the senior is on in the afternoon. I know it sounds so strange but I'm kind of worrying that I'm going to hear a heartbeat this time because they've said they'd be surprised if I didn't miscarry and I don't want to hear a heartbeat if its just going to stop 😥

Has anyone been to any of the miscarriage association support groups? They have them online. I was going to do one last night but spent the evening with my partner instead as he'd been out the evening before.

Oh that sounds tough @nearly8. I admire anyone who does shift work, sounds so tough. Hope your shift is finished soon xx

I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday @UrsulaSings123. I get what you mean about the heart beat 😢.

I've not been to any miscarriage support meetings, who offers them?

I've just seen that you said miscarriage association @UrsulaSings123 - answering my own question. Never heard of them, are they good?

They've been pretty helpful in that they have a helpline which I've called a couple of times and cried on lol. The lady on the helpline told me about their support groups that meet face to face and online. I was going to do one last night but ended up spending the evening with my partner. Just wondered if anyone else had been to one.

@DancinOnTheCeiling yes on 1hr 19 mins to go. Not that I'm counting or anything 🤣🤣🤣

@UrsulaSings123 well I was firmly on the fence regarding the recurrent MC clinic so much so I had splinters in my bum 🤣🤣 mainly because it's sort of making it more real that I've carried anc lost 3 babies. Then I read somewhere that if the MCs aren't recorded they won't see you and after the shitty experience I had in EPU the first time I never went the other two times. I just waited them out and let them pass naturally at home. So I dunno I'll probably look at it when I feel more like it. For now I'll stick to my haphazard TTC but not TTC 🤣🤣 I totally feel you on the hb. It's awful to think how difficult it will be to ever enjoy a pregnancy again. But at least we're all here together trudging through the tunnel to get to the light at the end 💐💐

Sorry to hear you had such a rubbish time at the EPU. One of the ladies I have seen has been really nice and gave us loads of time, but the other one came across as much more brisk. That's difficult they only accept referrals if it's been documented as I'm sure there are many people who miscarry who don't seek medical help.

@UrsulaSings123 yeah there must be so many, especially if they've had shit experiences like me. How are you today Hun? 💐💐

@DancinOnTheCeiling hope you're ok today sweet 💐💐

I go to a support group at my local hospital faith centre. I found it very helpful. The ladies there are all so lovely. It helps to talk about your babies openly and comfortably around others who understand.

hope you are all doing ok!!

@nearly8 im not so great. Been having stomach cramps most of the day and bought some pads earlier but had no bleeding yet. Not got the next scan until Tuesday afternoon. We're meant to be going on holiday in a few weeks and I'm getting worried I'm not going to be able to go if this isn't resolved by then. Before all this I was thinking 'oh I'll be 12 weeks that week, I'll have to ask the midwife to put my scan back a week', which is just laughable now. How are you doing? Have you had a day off yet? Lol.

@CoffeeMama89 thanks I think I might give it another try. I think I'd prefer a f2f one rather than zoom.

@DancinOnTheCeiling how are you getting on?

Thinking of you all x

So sorry you're not good @UrsulaSings123 and that you've been having stomach cramps. And I totally understand your worry about your holiday. If it is bad news on Tuesday (I obviously hope it's not) I'm sure you can say to the EPU and wonder if they can do a procedure quite soon. Sorry I'm even talking about this, it feels awful to say this. Obviously I hope it's good news and you can go on your holiday being pregnant. Thanks for the information about the support group as well.

I'm okay today, thank you. I go through stages of complete denial so I'm feeling like that today which is a welcome distraction from anxiety and over analysing every symptom. Just want Friday to come

@nearly8 so sorry you had such a bad experience at the EPU. Mine have been okay apart from one tome being given unhelpful false hope (I have had many visits there). As if being there isn't stressful enough - I am so sorry the staff didn't make the experience more bearable for you xx

Thank you for your support @CoffeeMama89 and for sharing your experience at the support group 💐

No I don't think it's awful to say that. Im tracking 3 weeks behind and the staff have said they'd be surprised if it turned out ok so I'm expecting a miscarriage. I just want it diagnosed as soon as it can so I can start to move on.

Have you still been bleeding or has it stopped? Have you thought about having a private scan before Fri to see how it's going? I tried to book a private scan at the weekend but there weren't any available until today and my scan is tomorrow anyway so no point really.

I started bleeding this evening. Only when I wipe. Had cramps again today.

Just wondering if anyone knows how quickly the full on bleeding starts once you start bleeding? I'm worried about going out the house now as I've seen a few people say they just had to sit on the loo for hours because they were bleeding so much.

Sorry to hear you've started bleeding @UrsulaSings123. I can't really advise re leaving the house etc as I seem to be different - have had bleeding for over two weeks now but not very strong (but consistent). This seems to be how it always is for me when I miscarry; there's never been particularly strong bleeding but if there is any kind of blood it has always been bad news for me, even if just light bleeding.

I'm thinking of you today, I know you have your scan this PM. I hope you get through it somehow 💐. Sending a handhold.

Re your other question, I'm not going for a scan before Friday. I'd rather wait and have a definite answer on Friday...