Think there’s a shadow of a line and need to know to start meds - after many losses

[DancinOnTheCeiling]

I hope someone can help. I’m convinced there's a shadow of a line. I’ve had many losses and have been prescribed high dose prednisolone, progesterone, aspirin, clexan injection etc. as I have issues with NK cells. Most of my losses have been at a very early stage so it is time sensitive to start the meds; otherwise I’d just wait until I know for sure I’m pregnant. We cannot seem to get a decent pregnancy test. FRERs are nowhere to be found. DH is trying to get a boots 5 days early. I hate all the blue dye ones. Any other decent tests? I think a FRER might arrive from Amazon tomorrow but I’ve heard Amazon FRERs are dodgy. I don’t want to start that type of medication unnecessarily as it’s strong, progesterone messes with my cycle etc. But I’m also worried if I don’t ‘get in there’ early it will be another loss. Thought I saw a tiny shadow of line last night but it didn’t come up on a picture and I’m convinced today’s is noticeable (if you look closely). Any thoughts? What would you do?

Fingers crossed for you. 🤞🏼💝

Thank you for giving me hope @LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow. Your story is amazing, and so wonderful to hear 💐.

I am finding it hard to be hopeful.. I have had some losses where, like you, my test lines were getting lighter as I started bleeding but I also had two losses where my pregnancy tests were still super dark despite my bleeding but both were miscarriages. Those were the cruellest ones as I assumed the dark tests were good news despite the bleeding.

I'm trying very hard to be hopeful and really really appreciate the support. I'll update after my scan xx

Thank you @ZippyZappyZoo xx

Thank you @Bumble88 it's so lovely to hear people's positive outcomes. Thank you for giving me hope. I will update after my scan and am praying for good news xx

Thank you @CoffeeMama89, I so appreciate the support. Will update after the scan xx

Thank you for sharing your story @BellaTheDarkOverlord. I am so glad to hear it worked out for you and your baby was born healthy. Sounds similar to my story in terms of location of pregnancy, except I'm sure my uterus is not heart shaped even though several consultants initially suspected it. But I will mention it again at my scan as its now come up really quite frequently.. thank you for sharing your story and giving me hope. Finding it hard to be hopeful but trying to take it one day at a time xx

Thank you @BrutusMcDogface and @Olika

The support on this thread is so amazing, I really really appreciate it so much xx

I have a bicornate uterus, I implant in the horn, and I bleed too. And I have a 15m old. Sending you all the luck.

Thank you @beverlytun. Glad to hear you managed to have a child with the condition and it all worked out well. I'm very sure I don't have a bicornuate uterus, just seems to be something that's raised as a possibility every now and then but I will bring it up on Friday at the EPU xx

Thinking of you today! Xx

@DancinOnTheCeiling best of luck today xx

Thank you @CoffeeMama89 and @LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow, much appreciated.

My update is we still don't know and need another scan in two weeks but I think overall it's not good news. They scanned and saw a pregnancy sac and a yolk sac. The pregnancy is in the right place. The midwife said she can see why the private clinic thought it might be in the wrong place and/or my uterus is heart shaped but she said looking at my previous scans and notes (of which they have many ☹️) she thinks it's in the right place. She said it might look strange if it was someone else's womb but is in a normal place for how my womb looks. I asked her to be really honest with me re prognosis; she said they can't say for sure but because I'm sure of my dates, I have had bleeding and my yolk sac measures on the bigger side (which can be an indicator for miscarriages) she is concerned it might not be viable. I measured at 6+2 today (should be 7+1 according to my own dates). Last Friday at the private clinic I measured 5+4. The midwife today said they are not allowed to use the private clinic's scan as a baseline. For me the combination of larger yolk sac, measuring behind and bleeding are what makes me agree with her that it'll probably end in miscarriage. I will go back for my scan in two weeks at which point I'll know for sure. If anyone has hopeful stories about larger yolk sacs/no feral pole/no heart beat at this stage I would of course love to hear them...

So much appreciate the support xx

Sorry to hear you didn’t get the peace of mind you needed today. I’m still keeping everything crossed for you. I had early bleeding and no heartbeat seen at 6 weeks with my last pregnancy, could see the yolk sac but no mention of size. I lost my baby at 14 weeks, so we did make it past that first stage. Was my second loss at 14 weeks so not related to the early bleeding.

Oh I'm so sorry @CoffeeMama89, two losses at 14 weeks must have been so so difficult, how heartbreaking 😢. My losses have all been early losses which has been so hard, I can't imagine what later losses must be like.

Oh I am so sorry @DancinOnTheCeiling , I so hoped that you would get the reassurance of a heartbeat. Hang in there - we had many losses before our successful pregnancies, but I completely remember the desperate feeling each time I had a loss. I’m still keeping everything crossed for you xx

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I had a similar experience recently where I went epu at 6+3 and no yolk or fetal pole, measuring 4 weeks-ish. Went a week later at 7+3 and measured 5+4 with a yolk but still no fetal pole. Just waiting for another scan on Tuesday. I think it's very unlikely to turn out ok. It's heart breaking isn't it, feeling so happy and then being so sad.

Sending you a hand hold in this horrible time.

Thank you @LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow, your support is much appreciated 💐 xx

Oh I'm so sorry @UrsulaSings123, sending you a hand hold back. The uncertainty is so so hard isn't it? Will be thinking of you for your scan tomorrow xx

I've been thinking of you today @UrsulaSings123 xx

I can't tell you how much that means to me. I've felt so lonely and sad today.

Scan showed what they thought might be a 3mm fetal pole, no heartbeat. Gestational sac measuring 6.5 weeks but fetal pole measuring 5.5 weeks. I am 8 weeks 1 day so they repeated their statements about how it didn't look good and her gut feeling is that it is heading for miscarriage, but that they can't do anything yet because either there needs to be no growth between scans, or a fetal pole measuring at least 7mm with no heartbeat. They have booked me in for another scan in 1 week, which will be the 4th scan and 3rd week of waiting for answers.

I'm actually really starting to struggle, I don't feel I can grieve a miscarraige because that hasn't happened yet, but it's certainly nothing to be happy about. I am starting to worry that if it does continue there will be a problem with the baby, so have started to stop praying/wishing for it to survive, which is absolutely heartbreaking.

I know you can't compare but I feel it would almost be easier if they'd just said yes you've miscarried and then I could have treatment for it and try and move on, but instead I'm just waiting for the hammer to fall. The longer this goes on the less time I have left to TTC. They've basically said yes it looks like a miscarraige but we have to wait until it gets to a certain point.

How are you coping?

I'm so sorry @UrsulaSings123, it sounds awful. The uncertainty is so so hard isn't it? I completely agree that it would be almost 'easier' to know it's a miscarriage now than to continue waiting with uncertainty. And I totally get what you mean about it taking time away from TTC. I've had a number of losses, and each time waiting for the miscarriage to be confirmed, waiting for the procedure and recovery etc has felt like months and months..

Not sure how I'm coping. I feel quite numb and detached actually. I feel soo tired, have some other pregnancy symptoms like feeling a bit queezy, sore boobs, feeling a bit nauseous, and I think my belly looks huge which must sound ridiculous given I'm only 7+5 but I find it soo difficult to have all these symptoms whilst simultaneously knowing they are probably just from the progesterone I'm on and likely mean nothing. It's just so mean to have symptoms while the pregnancy is likely a loss, don't know if that makes sense. Occasionally I manage to tell myself 'our baby will come to us when it's ready' which gives me occasional moments of calmness but I don't manage it very often.

Sending you a handhold. It's all so hard. 😢 xx

@DancinOnTheCeiling @UrsulaSings123 sorry to hear of your situations. What a rollercoaster. I totally get what you mean @UrsulaSings123 it would make it so much easier if they just confirmed the MC instead of leaving you in limbo.
I have suffered 3 MC in 10 months so I know how awful it is the not knowing.
Just wanted to send you hugs and a hand hold and I'm keeping my fingers crossed 🤞 that this is just a bump in the road for you both. From reading these forums it's clear that it's not always bad news but I also know how hard it is to stay positive sometimes.
Take care of yourselves both of you and try to do something today that makes you smile 💐💐

Thank you so much @nearly8, much appreciated ♥️. So sorry to hear about your three miscarriages in 10 months, that sounds so difficult. What's your situation now, have you since had a successful pregnancy? Xx

I completely understand the having symptoms thing. I can't bear to go on the pregnancy forum anymore and see people talk about their symptoms and growing stomachs knowing I'm experiencing the same but probably with a totally different outcome. I have to wear an elastic band on my jeans now as they don't fit and I'm only 8+4. If this wasn't happening I'd probably be choosing maternity clothes, feeling excited.

I went to the supermarket earlier and walked past the baby clothes aisle and I felt so sad thinking I would have probably bought something if I'd been there in different circumstances. Saw a woman pushing around her 2 small children in a trolley, singing with them while she was shopping. Aahhhh it's so horrible and heartbreaking and feels so unfair.

It really helps knowing there are people here who are going through a similar thing. I do wish none of us were here though.

@DancinOnTheCeiling no not yet, my 3rd was 31/01 so still a bit early for any good news. Although if I do catch again it will be like that last two times, wishing and hoping it sticks but kind of expecting a MC again. Its so awful to have such anxiety surrounding pregnancy. With my successful pregnancies prior to MC it never once crossed my mind - how naive right? Lol. I hope you get good news soon, please keep me updated either way, I'm always here if you need someone.

@UrsulaSings123 aww bless you sweet. You know, there's nothing wrong with buying a sleep suit in preparation for when you receive good news, you never know it may even push the process along. I know its hard to see others with their children but one thing this whole process has taught me is we don't know another woman's journey to having their children. I'm sure your time will come my darling and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and you too @DancinOnTheCeiling my inbox is always open ladies

Try and smile today and take time to care for yourselves 💐💐