Shouldn't we expect better care?

[acroo88]

On Tuesday after finishing a shift at work, I discovered I was bleeding and only 7 weeks pregnant. After a long journey home, I told my partner who persuaded me to phone the doctors, I hadn't even finished saying I was bleeding when the receptionist cut me off saying "When I had my...oh um you need to go straight to A&E" Before I did that, I contacted my midwife to ask about bleeding and how much was normal in early pregnancy; who replied 6 hours later with "Speak to GP no bleeding in early pregnancy is normal-go to triage" Off we went to our local hospital, up to Women's Health/Triage to then be asked why I was there so when I had to say those awful words aloud again: that I was bleeding and 7 weeks pregnant. The looks on their faces were enough, we then got sent to A&E as I wasn't 18 weeks pregnant!

I've never felt so humiliated to have to say aloud again in a public A &E department full of patients that I was bleeding and 7 weeks pregnant. Long story short, we had blood tests and an examination which showed the womb was closed so were sent home that night.

Wednesday morning, we returned for an ultrasound scan, which then ended up in a vaginal scan to then be told that it could be a miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy. They also found a mass/cyst/grey area on my right ovary and fibroids in my womb. That is when my bravery and positivity broke; I completely and utterly shut down emotionally and could not even get dressed.

Yesterday, we returned for another blood test to check my hormone levels are coming down which they are but I still cannot get over the constant reminder every time I go to the toilet or get undressed what is happening to my body.

I've gone from emotional meltdowns to anger to now feeling completely confused and empty.

I’m sorry for your loss @acroo88 and sorry you felt you didn’t receive the right level of care
gynae services are severely lacking, I work in a big London maternity unit and we see women from 18/19weeks typically. Prior to that it’s EPU which is self referral Monday to Saturday 8-11am for women with bleeding/abdo pain/reassurance for previous losses/prev ectopic.

we get lots of phone calls from women in early pregnancy experiencing bleeding often overnight, and A&E is generally only recommended if you are unwell/severe bleeding/severe pain otherwise wait for EPU to open. We can’t see all women in early pregnancy As it just isn’t feasible. However A&E isn’t the right place either unless it is like I said severe and then they will refer to gynae on call who will come and see you when available.

For some reason in the nhs this isn’t a priority, it’s totally wrong. My unit currently don’t have a dedicated gynae ward with gynae nurses ever since Covid, post ectopic after going to A&E at 5am where I did get seen quick with good care I was put in whAt I call a holding pen for a few hours to await EPU to open which i then waited in agony crying for a further 2hrs with a gown on in a waiting room (which I did make a complaint about) and post surgery went to a mixed ward which was being treated as a surgical ward.

The problem is If you’ve never had a miscarriage, a lot of women don’t know what to do and there’s very little information on NHS to guide you. And for saying 1 in 4 women suffer this it’s not really good enough.

I recently witnessed a poor lady come into EPU as she was bleeding and the midwife said “well we can’t do anything. I don’t know why you came here it’s not like we can scan you. You just have to ride it out at home.” The poor lady just burst into tears. She then told me she was ‘too busy’ to deal with me after they told me to come in! Being the arse that I am I ended up telling them that whilst I appreciate that they’re busy, I won’t be spoken to like that and that they are dealing with women who are going through a heartbreaking time and they deserve more compassion. She actually stopped and apologised. I think she had got that wound up with her workload she was snapping and not realising. My point is it’s not just changing care for women, midwife’s need better support too.

im in total agreement that the NHS is understaffed and over stretched. I’ve just had a horrible experience of miscarriage myself to the point I referred it to PALs. Something needs to change. I’ll happily join a campaign? I don’t really know where to begin in all honesty. I debated writing to the PM & Steve Barclay. I’m only 1 person but one person is better than none 🤷🏼‍♀️

I did the same Sonny124 contacted PALS- I hope you have a more productive response than I did. I'm so sorry you to had a horrid experience-it absolutely should not be happening. Think about the impact on emotional well-being, mental health and our partners/families who have to deal with a whirlwind of emotions. I agree that you should write that letter I certainly will be writing to our local MP. I went to tie a ribbon on our cathedral gates today to mark baby loss awareness week and could not believe the amount of ribbons that were already tied. This has made me even more determined to get more support for all involved with miscarriages, aftereffects and the initial stages of coping and not knowing what to do or where to go for help and advice.