Please hold my hand while I miscarry very scared

[Tweetypie27]

I’m 10 weeks baby died at around 6.5 sac was measuring 7 weeks. I had no option for any treatment till Monday. The bleeding has begun I’m so scared I’ve never been so scared as I am right now. It’s started off slow but I’ve miscarried before at seven weeks and it started like this then was fast and brutal.
But not to painful thankfully.
im scared incase I bleed to death my kids are at their dads thankfully. Help me through the night :-(

OP I cried, reading your posts.
I am so sad for you.

They told me the fetus was seven weeks when it died it wasn’t it was ten weeks and fully formed. I had to have a D & C whilst awake to stop the bleeding I feel so poorly now can barely walk to the toilet without help . Never ever again

Jesus. They let someone with a ten week pregnancy miscarry at home.

It gets worse and worse. Please tell me they gave you decent pain relief, at least, while they were mucking about in A & E?

Did they say how they had got it so wrong!?

I feel heartbroken for you. What an awful experience.

Are you back home? Are you feeling any better ? Xx

No one gave me an explanation but they gyno pulled it out of me and said that is not a six week baby I’m so sorry and it was palm sized and Formed. It felt like a back street abortion no pain relief it’s knocked me about so badly guys.

Oh OP that's absolutely horrendous no wonder you were in so much pain and bleeding so much ☹️ I'm so sorry you've been through this

I feel horrible when j sleep I have nightmares about it they bought the baby to me in a box so small but formed the nurse in a & e was in tears they all felt bad for me then up on the ward the midwife came in and said I’ve looked at the baby it is not 6/7 weeks it is a lot further then wrote 10.5 on my notes how did they mess this up so badly ? I could of died if I had known I would of had surgery.
i hope the trauma goes away but all I think about is the d & c I had with pliers screaming while being held down. I know they had to do it to stop the bleeding there and then but I wish I had been asleep.
Mt other half is in bits he wasn’t expecting a fully formed baby in a box handed to him.

They gave you a d and c with no pain relief? I'm not sure that can be legal?!! I would defo be making a complaint for that treatment. And the age disparity is such an oversight, poor you. I also had 2 m/c's and the first was drawn out for months, ended up in a&e and they had to pull out the tissue with forceps etc...unbelievably painful. There was so much blood...it felt violent...that's the only way I could describe it. Tbh I found the whole experience with the nhs completely lacking in support. Thankfully I now have a 10 month old rainbow baby and she is my world - it will get better I promise and you will heal from this emotionally and physically. Just take your time and get as much support as possible. Sending love xxx

Did they ask if you wanted to see the baby or just hand you the box?

I am so upset for you and your partner. And the poor nurses by the sound of it.

I'm glad you are okay that's the main thing right now and I hope you take time to heal but you have had an awful experience.

I've thought about you for days. Nothing we can say can make it hurt less but I genuinely feel heartbroken for you and sending you lots of love and healing thoughts xx

That is heartbreaking.
What a terrible thing to happen.

Thanks so much I’m weak as a kitten I feel so weak and have so much anxiety even being in my bedroom I’m anxious badly. Just went the toilet and bleeding was a bit heavier my partner said it just cos I’ve been laid down all night and will calm down it’s calmed down loads didn’t have much at all yesterday but even seeing blood just makes me go anxious I hope I overcome this 😪😪

So I am a 32 y/o female. I am not going to lie this past holiday season really destroyed me. I found out just after Thanksgiving and right before Christmas that I was pregnant. I found out in E.R with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy after 2 miscarriages and 2 years of trying with my partner of 5 years. I made it to 6 weeks and they removed the ovary with my Angel baby, I am having a very hard time dealing with it. Does the empty feeling ever go away? My S/O and I can’t talk about it without it turning into an argument because he feels it’s his loss too and I’m being selfish. I have a 16 daughter and keeping the strong front up for her only makes me feel even more empty. I have hashimoto thyroiditis which is what caused my previous miscarriages that is now under control. Should I give up trying to conceive?

@BreakdownInTheWorks I think it would be better to start your own thread about this, as very few people will see your post. This is a thread about one woman's miscarriage.
I say that kindly. I have had many miscarriages myself and I do understand how awful you're feeling.

Did they give you any antibiotics, @Tweetypie27 as women often get an infection after this kind of procedure.

I think you're going to have a lot to process over the next few months. You're right that you'll never forget this experience.

When you're ready, maybe you could think about whether you want to take this further. I do not think you have received good care at all, and you lost a great deal of blood. That's without the emotional and psychological consequences after what you've gone through.

If you find posting here helps you, please carry on. I think we're all horrified about what has happened to you, and full of sympathy.

They didn’t give me any antibiotics I wpuld prefer to take them as I had 19mm retained which they said will come out gradually but I don’t trust them to much now.
My GP just called me and said my iron is very low and put me on iron tablets for two months.
I don’t know if I will take it further at the moment I just don’t have it in me. I woke up and had the worse anxiety in my life I was shaking and rocking back and forth like a mad person and crying my eyes out.
i would say I’m a strong person I rarely cry but I’m a mess now the GP said it’s hormone crash and I will be ok soon.
Im only eating small amounts I try to eat and I heave I think some of it is my mind Maybe I have no clue.
So hoping I feel better physically soon so I can tackle the mental health.
I really wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy I know people go through this everyday and I’ve had two MCs before but they were nothing to this. Maybe because I got to 12 weeks with this MC.
I can’t look at the pad with blood on as I feel I will just panic I’ve even had my mom checking I’m 36 years old asking my mom to check my pad cos I’m to scared.
I just want to be back to myself 😪

I am really not at all surprised to hear how anxious you are after what you've been through. It sounds like the most appallingly traumatic experience.

I am not sure that your GP is right about a hormone crash. I think you're experiencing the horror of your miscarriage in your mind, and you sound terrified to me.

I wonder if your GP would give you antibiotics. Are you able to talk to her/him and ask? And possibly something to calm you down for a few days? Mind you, they're not keen on giving out tranquillisers much but I wonder if they'd help you.

Anyway - obviously it's too soon for you to be thinking about taking this further but you will eventually get to a place of anger, (it may take months for this to happen) and then you may have the strength to do it, if you feel it would help.

Just look after yourself for now and let your mum and your partner care for you. I don't think your age matters. You've had a very bad shock. An emotional shock and the shock that goes with excessive blood loss.

Thankyou so much I know the blood loss has been the worst to my body I think. Do you think I will feel better soon? Hate this feeling

Hi @Tweetypie27 You asked me if I thought you would feel better soon.

I have had a lot of miscarriages and I felt terrible about all of them for weeks. It was very distressing. The later they were, the worse I felt.

My first one was a bit like yours. I was 14 weeks and had been at home bleeding on and off. Eventually I had very bad pain and the bleeding got worse and I went to hospital. By the next day I was passing huge clots - I couldn't believe the size of them. I am going back a few years now, but I had to wait to be scanned. When they did, there was no heartbeat. I had a D & C that evening and went home the next day.

I did not feel better about that one until I gave birth to my daughter, which was about 14 months later. You've had a particularly traumatic time with this miscarriage and I wouldn't expect you to feel much better for a couple of weeks, anyway. All women are different but your experience has been especially emotional. I think your partner has also been through a bad time. We sometimes forget how much they suffer at these times. I'm not saying you're not paying attention to his feelings but you may not have any emotional energy for that at the moment.

I think you said that you didn't want to try again. You may change your mind about that. And of course, you may not.

Your emotions will likely be all over the place. That is completely normal.

Don't expect a quick recovery after this kind of thing. Just pace yourself and let yourself grieve for the baby you lost. Seeing the baby must have been so sad and difficult. I am so sorry you've been through this. It was a tragedy.

Thanks for replying I am checking in with my partner but I’ve felt so unwell and anxious I am selfishly just thinking of my own stuff going on more but I am asking if he’s ok and we’ve spoken about it a lot we both find it hard to keep going over what happened but still do.
i went to the toilet this morning and a cotton swab fell out of me I heard it just land in the loo so that freaked me out wondering if I’ve got anything else up there.

We have a daughter together and I don’t want to put my health at risk like this again I missed her first day at nursery today and I’m gutted.
I know other women are stronger then me and can go through it again but this is now my third MC albeit in between children and each one hurts and they hurt more the more you have and if it happened again I just dread to think how my mental health will be.

Physically I’m a little stronger and had a bath but everything aches I’m still lightheaded and wobbly so can’t look after my little girl on my own I’m hoping I can by Monday.

i know in time it will get easier but I chose to try again after the other miscarriages and this time I am not so maybe this one will take me longer to heal from as I won’t have a baby at the end I don’t know.

Im trying to just block out my hospital ordeal I think about it all the time it’s distressing my partner said it’s the worst thing he’s ever seen and witnessed.

Non of us want to go through it again he’s been my rock and held the fort and done everything for me I couldn’t ask for more so I’m glad I have that not everyone does.

i hope soemone sees my story and pushes for the surgery as doing it yourself is just to brutal especially over a certain amount of weeks.

Thanks for supporting me so much you have helped me so much and I’m so sorry for your losses it’s brutal.

I'm glad you have managed a bath and I hope you're pain is easing.

Don't feel selfish. You are bound to be more traumatised because you felt it and went through it "more".

Are you managing to sleep etc? Has the doctor been back in touch?

I am sleeping but finding it hard to get to sleep I’m mostly struggling with feeling weak but I was messed with so much I feel like me legs are shot. The morning after the MC in hospital I had to endure another internal and then another internal scan with stirrups and because I tensed so much throughout all the internals I had my legs feel like I’ve walked two hundred miles and wobble and hurt.

I keep going lightheaded when walking around I gather because of the low iron I’m hoping it improves really want to feel better. I just feel like I will never be back to myself doing my hair and makeup or going shopping I feel like I’m never going to do those things again.

i know I’m just over thinking and anxious and I keep getting anxious and start sweating and shaking I’m sick of it I have no control over my emotions at all and this isn’t me. I’m so scared of why I’m feeling like this it’s so unexpected.

i wish I never saw the baby I feel like it’s going to haunt me that image I just wish I was put to sleep didn’t see anything and didn’t bleed.

If anything comes on TV about hospitals or ambulances I actually start to panic and sweat. I feel like a big baby for not coping like I thought I would. I’m trying ti eat but I don’t even want food or fancy anything I’m just eating little bits.

I want to feel human in body and mind I’m sad about the baby but it’s more how I feel over all at the moment then the baby sounds horrible I know.

Injust wish the whole thing had never happened I wasn’t this bad after my last MC I was ok after a week but don’t see that happening this time but I never saw the baby that time they just swiped it away and I’m glad of that now.

Just a horrible time :-(

You are bound to feel bruised and battered after such an experience. You must be exhausted emotionally and mentally.
You will get back to being yourself but right now you don't b need to do your hair and make up you just need to rest and give yourself some time to recover and reflect.

Try not to overthink too much. Can you watch some tv or listen to a podcast, calming sounds or music to help you unwind.

You will remember the ordeal for a long time but I hope you can find some comfort in other things to cling to for now. Your other children, your partner, your home and anything else which brings you some warmth.

Don't be too hard on yourself right now or set expectations. Getting through the days is your priority right now and little bits of food and sleep is better than nothing. You are not selfish for thinking about yourself right now so don't think like that. You're so strong

Hi @Tweetypie27 how are you ?

Felt a bit better physically but very depressed and anxious I never thought I would feel like this. I’m still a bit weak and wobbly can hardly eat either I’ve lost around half a stone this week.
I want to feel better so much.
I also keep seeing pregnancy announcements makes it worse. 😪