1st misscarriage, someone plz tell me how bad it's gonna be.

[pinkdolly]

Have just come back from my scan. Having being told that my baby died at 7 weeks , I should be 11+3 now. I have been bleeding lightly since monday. No pain, other then a bad back pain on mon.

They gave me the options and I couldn't face actually taking anything or the d+c so am just waiting for nature to take it's course.

Obviously am devasted but also scared at how bad the pain and bleeding is going to be.

I dont want to open up any wounds, but could really do with some advice and support.

Thanx

Hi natalie- i'm feeling alright today. Managed a full morning teaching dd1 (I homeschool her), and then walked down town with the girls. I really feel that I am regaining some normality now.

Also I did manage to go to church yesterday, and coped with it alright. I did have the inivitable stream of people giving me their sympathies. But it was ok. The church also gave dh and I some money towards going out for a nice meal when i'm feeling up to it. Which was ever so nice.

How about you? Still keeping up alright I hope.

Mom + fandango Have you heard anything yet, am thinking of you both today. Let us know how things get on?

Oh I am pleased you are starting to settle a bit. And how lovely of the church! It must be so nice for you to have that kind of support

I am OK, had an up and down weekend, but on the whole OK. I have decided that when January has given way to February, my thoughts of the miscarriage and what it means will give way to thoughts of DIY, moving house, and obviously TTC'ing and the new baby. I find myself measuring everything on a time line of before the miscarriage and after the miscarriage, and I don't want to carry on like that. So like I said, I have till Thursday to end all thoughts and sadness, anger and dissapointment, not to forget, but just to live, to be able to look at my kids playing and not imagine what is missing. Does any of that make any sense? I'm not sure with it written down, but it makes sense in my head!

Oh well, wouldn't be the first time I have harped on about nothing now would it?

I am glad you are feeling a bit better, take care sweetie, talk soon xxx

Hello all.

NJ I totally get your logic. You need to grieve, it's totally healthy. But it's also good that you are able to plan ahead.

On a surprising note. I tested positive again this morning. So first thing I need to do is make an appointment and find out what's what. I don't feel pregnant at all, but I am letting myself get a little excited.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

Hiya,
Scan yesterday confirmed everything. Has to stay in hospital for the day for medical management stuff to clear me out. The day before for horrendous - I was passing huge clots and there must have been about 30 of them so by the time I went for the scan the next day it was obvious what I'd see.

Thanks for the support. Feel so sad and empty right now but hoping to feel better in the next few days. I do feel ready to start trying again soon and DH is happy with that too. I want nothing more than another baby right now.

Hope you are all getting on OK.

Oh Fandango, I'm so sorry, this is a horrible time for you. Make sure you allow yourself time to grieve and be emotional. Also rest up as it can take a lot out of you.

Is your dh taking any time off to be with you? Or do you have other suppport around you?

We are here if you need to talk, once again i'm so sorry, am thinking of you.

Mom - I sthere any news from you yet?

Natalie- Whilst I think it's good that you are talking about moving on. I still think you should take one step at a time. Your hormones will most likely still be playing havoc, and you need to make sure that you ahve given yourself enough time to get over this.
For you, this may be enough time and if so that's brilliant. But dont limit your grief, it's a process we all have to go through to help us come to terms with things.

On a different note, I completly understand that you dont want this to drag on for too long. My mum was talking about me going to get antideppressents less then 2 weeks after my m/c coz I was still feeling down (which is just silly).

For the most part i'm better now, I still have my sad times (tbh I think I always will), and I still have my angry times.
I'm coping better with the girls, but due to my unforgiving headaches sometimes their loudness is too much for me to cope with.

Basically what i'm trying to say is, that each day I feel stronger and more able to cope, but then every now and then I do feel down. You have to allow for that. Dont let yourself not feel those things.

But only you know whats best for you, and how you are really feeling. And I really hope that you are feeling much much better, and feel ready to put this behind you and start again.

Sorry for lecturing, just thinking about you.

Have a good day all

Pink

P.s. First day back at mums and toddlers for me this morning, am still shattered and having my headaches so am going to take it easy. Lets see how it goes.

Hi all,

Well I went to the midwife yesterday. Again tested positive while I was there. She did the usual pap smear and felt my uterus saying that I couldn't be more than 6 weeks. Was then sent for an ultrasound, and the technician didn't see anything. So at this point we have two possibilities. It's way too early to tell. Or there was something there at some point and now have a chemical pregnancy. The only way to know now, is to go for bloodwork and see what my hcg levels do. I'm leaving in a little while and when the midwife gets the results she'll call me and let me know if I should go for another test or if they are too low for me to be pregnant. So basically I'm at the same point I was at last week.

Fandango--I'm so sorry for your loss.

Well it's official. My hcg levels were very low. I'm going for a follow up today, but I have miscarried.

Mom- I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. And sorry I haven't replied sooner.

How are you feeling today? I think you know from reading this thread that you need to give yourself some time and space to find your own way to get through this.

I had a scan photo of my lo which helped, other's plant something and name the baby.

My baby was Elijah.

It might seem really hard for now but it's wont be this hard for ever. Roughly 3 weeks on and i'm getting there. Not a day goes by when I dont think of what i've lost. But i'm starting to laugh at things again.

Just take care of yourself and rest up for a bit.

Once again i'm so sorry for not replying sooner, I wish it could have been a better outcome for you.

Sending you lots of virtual hugs.

Pink

Hello everyone.

Firstly I am so sorry for Fandango and MOM's loses, as Pink says take all the time you need to heal, it does get easier to handle as time goes on.

It is 4 weeks today that I MC'ed, it seems like a life time ago. I think there will always be a part of me that misses the baby, September (due date) is going to be very hard, but I am hoping between now and then that I can somehow manage a smile for the baby, where ever she is now.

DH has given the absolute go ahead for TTC'ing, I am really looking forward to that, and I am putting all thoughts of the sadness of the MC out of my mind. It is done, there is nothing I can do, doesn't seem much point in keep going over it in my head. There are times it still get's the better of me, but I am really concentrating on the kids and the new baby, I think I am getting through it and coming out the other side.

I will always be here for the ladies on this thread, but I think this will be my last post on here, if that is OK with everyone? I feel like it is over with now and I don't want to keep re-visiting it. But I would like to say a huge great big thank you to you all, especially Pink, you have been there for me in so many ways since the very start, and I will always be very greatful. You gave me somewhere I could say how I was feeling whereas at times I couldn't even say it to DH. As I said I will always be here, Pink you have me email if you ever just want to blow off steam or whatever, I will always listen sweetie.

So I am going to bow out for now. I really really really hope that you can all get back on track ASAP. And I wish you all the best of luck with whatever you decide to do in the future. Lots of love xxxxx

Hi can I join in? I had a scan on Friday 12+1 and found out that there was no heartbeat. I had felt not pregnant for a few weeks but thought I was being paranoid I had had no bleeding atall. I am going to see my gyn this week to book in for a surgical removal not sure what to call it. Thakfully DP's health insurance is covering it not sure I could go through it as my local NHS is one of the busiest London hospitals and was told that I could be bumped and may have to come back on another day. Really dont think I can face that. I started to bleed a little today and have a few cramps. Just worried aobut what might happen am I likely to pass things I will recognise as the sac etc. Will it happen quickly or is it likely that the bleeding I am having its very light will just stop and I can wait to have everything taken away surgically?

Big hello to M2LB (we are on the same post natal thread) how are you feeling my love?

Oh JW, I'm surprisingly good, but I am dreading getting the results of Friday's bloodwork. I think it will just solidfy how I'm feeling, and it will hit me. I'm still hoping for a miracle.

Are they going to do a dialation and cutterage (D&C)? I think that will be the procedure (at least it is here).

I don't know what bleeding will be like for you because I was so early along. I've been having a lot of clots though, so definitely expect that. I've been bleeding for about 10 days now, but it was only heavy for 4.

How are you emotionally? I'm trying to stay positive and remind myself that "this is nature's way". I hope your dh is being supportive because mine is up in the clouds somewhere.

Take care of yourself.

NJ I'm glad you're moving on and don't worry, before you know it we'll have another massive "Natalie Jane is in Labor" thread or may be 2.

Jw - so sorry to hear of your bad news. I was 11+3 days when I found out my lo had dies at 7 weeks. It is a very distressing time.

Some people on these boards have discribed passing recognisable bits. But for me I just had lost of clotting. This helped me in a way as I was actually quite scared of seeing something I could recognise.

I m/c natuarally so cant really comment on the surgical procedure, but you will need strength an dsupport to get horugh this however you chose to do it.

It's been said on here so many times, just let yourself grieve how you need to. Dont rush yourself into making yourself feel better. Your body will need time to get over this emotionally and physically.

These threads are a great support network for women going through m/c and have helped me lots.

I hope you are feeling ok today {{{hug}}}

mom- I'm so sorry your dh isn't being the rock you need him to be right now. Is it because he is finding it difficult to come to terms with, or maybe he just doesn't know how to handle the situation.

There will always be someone on mn who will be able to offer you some support. And if you need to go over things over and over again, this is a place that you can do that.

Take care, let me know how you're doing.

Natalie- I'm so pleased you feel ready to move on, be warned I will be trawling the ante-natel threads in a few months. take care.

Pink

Thanks, M2LB and PD I am having my EPRC this evening have had alot of painful cramping and more bleeding have just takent he tablets to soften my cervix in prep for tonight. Felt a bit zombie like yesterday couldnt settle to anything and just felt exhausted. Just worried about the GA and how I will feel afterwards. I guess its just take my time and get over it slowly.

Thankyou for the kind comments not sure i will be back on this thread as I feel I want to try and move on but I may be back. I have a great postnatal thread who are v supportive too.