MMC at 12 weeks

[TheDaydreamBelievers]

Hi,

We unfortunately found out at our 12 week scan that baby had no heartbeat and was measuring about 10+4. We had a scan (NHS - they had our dates wrong) at 10 weeks and all looked great.

They have offered 3 options - see what happens naturally, medication to induce misscarriage, or surgical under GA.

I have the booklets with the medical perspective but was wondering if anyone has had this experience at similar dates and would/would not recommend any of these. Obviously the added covid19 bit is that for either medical option my DH couldnt come to be with me.

Many thanks x

Thank you for sharing @Coffee4me did you have any signs or warning that it was about to start? I feel like I’m reading so much into every symptom from my body right now! I’m working from home at the moment as well thankfully. Just don’t know what to do as it feels like such a waiting game that I don’t know how to deal with taking time off to mentally process it, and then potentially again for dealing with it physically?

@PumpkinEverything I would speak to your GP so they're aware, mine was very understanding with first giving painkillers, and then giving me some sick leave when I needed it. I didn't really have warning signs, bleeding started and then some cramps. I've had miscarriage before though, when I first got cramps and bleeding started afterwards so it really depends case by case. The waiting game was worst though, I was getting worried as it took almost 2 weeks from the scan when I found out. If you get fever or feel dizzy etc then you should ring GP/ A&E as they can be a sign for an infection, which was my worry. Take care

@TheDaydreamBelievers Wishing you well today! Let us know how you're doing if you feel up to it. Mine is on Wednesday.

@PumpkinEverything think I remember you on the June 2021 board, sorry you find yourself in this position too 💐

Hi @bez91 @PumpkinEverything @honeymirabella just to update you all went well

had to wait from midday until 530pm for the surgery as I was last on the day lists but it went well.

Went down at 5pm, in surgery at 530pm. Was done and awake by 6pm. Had to eat, drink and wee then headed home. Feeling okay - had misopro--- whatever pre op and the minor cramps from that were worst than how I feel atm . I'd estimate current pain at like a 2/10 and I have 3 options for painkillers if it worsens. Bleeding a bit but its expected to die down over the next few days.

Definitely feel like surgery was right for me - it was very easy procedure wise. The hardest bit was the boredom waiting in the day surgery clinic!

So glad to hear all went okay for you @TheDaydreamBelievers I’ve been thinking about you all day. Did you have to go alone or was anyone allowed to wait with you? Do you feel a bit of closure from it as well, and that you can hopefully start to move on a bit?

Unfortunately solo @PumpkinEverything! Just a long wait but had my phone, books etc.

I think just having this part of the story completed gives a bit of closure yes. Expecting some hard days ahead with the hormones dropping though!

@TheDaydreamBelievers so glad to hear everything went ok, hope the days ahead are not too bad for you!

Hormones are my fear too, I already feel they've been all over the place these last few weeks 🙈

Feeling okay today! Not really sore at all (have had worse periods!). Slept really badly though, mainly due to racing thoughts

Hope you're doing ok OP x

How are you feeling @TheDaydreamBelievers hope you’re okay!

Hope you're doing ok OP

I've had my procedure today, I opted for local anaesthetic and I was in and out within an hour or so. It wasn't pleasant but I have quite a high pain threshold and managed on gas and air for the 5 minutes it took. Just quite intense cramping at the moment but otherwise ok. He advised to wait for another period before TTC again, I know each consultant gives different advice. At the very least I can drink Prosecco over Christmas 😊

Hope you’re okay @bez91 and I’m sure you’re glad to be home! Is the local anaesthetic something they give you as well as gas and air, or how does that work? This is all so new to me and I don’t quite know what each one is!

Hi @PumpkinEverything sorry is it that you are weighing up options at the moment? EPU gave me a booklet with choices on last week although I'd already decided on this route as knew they'd be no growth.

Yes basically the local anaesthetic numbs your cervix/uterus and you are awake through the procedure unlike a general anaesthetic where you're asleep throughout. The gas and air is given alongside painkillers for the local anaesthetic procedure to use during the procedure which lasted all of 5 minutes. The nurses and consultant who did the procedure were great and if it happened again I would probably opt for the same 😊

@bez91 yeah 😔 we found out last Wednesday the baby had stopped growing a week before, and I feel like I need to try to choose something as the waiting is torture. When they gave me the options I originally said no as I really didn’t want to have to do any, but now that I’ve had more time to think I’ve started to consider the surgical options. I had been thinking I’d prefer general anaesthetic instead as I would prefer not to be aware what is happening to me. I hate that I’m even having to think about any of this at all 😔😔

@PumpkinEverything I'm so sorry 💐 it's just horrible to have to go through.
I found out about 2.5 weeks ago that things weren't looking good at a private scan then referred to EPU and had 2 scans there 10 days apart. I found the waiting through the whole process the worst bit, still having pregnancy symptoms too. Today although I've obviously been upset I now just feel a huge weight of relief
that if nothing else there's no more waiting.

Hey @PumpkinEverything @bez91 - so sorry that you are both in this awful position too.

So far recovery from surgery has been really good physically. Minimal bleeding, minimal pain (honestly less cramping than a typical period).

My understanding is that they offered me GA rather than local and gas and air because of how developed the fetus was (10+5). I think it also varies by area. I do know the surgical procedure was less than 15 mins long.

Like @bez91 my surgical doctor recommended I wait until a natural period to TTC

Meant to say @PumpkinEverything please feel free to ask anything at all

I think I’m a little worried about being awake as I don’t want to be traumatised by being able to remember what has happened or is going on, but I don’t know if I’m building it all up in my head. I think it’s more the mental side of things rather than the pain of it for me 😔
Spent all day trying to work up the courage to ring (I’d also like to add I’m one of those people who absolutely hates ringing people, and prefers to do everything over text or email) to find out the nurse had already went home and I need to ring back tomorrow morning 🤦‍♀️ The person I did speak to on the phone seemed to suggest they offer medical management first, but I really don’t want that.
Can I ask whether either of you got a follow up appointment after you got the news originally? I have been given one for next Wednesday and I honestly don’t know what it’s even for. I think I was just so overwhelmed with the information I was given that I either haven’t heard or haven’t thought to ask.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is just so hard.

I would suggest the surgical with GA. in June I had a MVA (so surgical but with just local anaesthetic). It was painful but tolerable. Unfortunately I had some retained products so then had medical management of that. Even more unfortunately that didn't work - I just had pain but didn't make everything pass. After that I then had the full surgical management under GA. It was so much easier than the other two options if I ever were to be in that position again (I hope not!) then I'd just go straight for surgical under GA. it's difficult enough as it is, take the more straightforward option if you can.

@PumpkinEverything I had no follow up around choices.

I called on Monday after the thursday 12 week scan to say I wanted surgery. If it helps, no one answered at all so I literally just left a message saying I was x name, x number and I wanted to arrange surgery for MMC.
I then had an appt on the Thursday to sign paperwork around GA and surgery. I asked to have another scan at this, just for my own processing of the loss, which they were totally happy to offer.
On friday I had the pre-operation appt where I had a covid19 test, BP check, bloods and all the Qs pre surgery.

I agree with @J6J6 that surgery has been the right choice for me - very straightforward and I did not find it traumatic. Really lovely team of medics

@PumpkinEverything I had a follow up appointment after the initial news just to double check there was definitely no growth (I think they have to legally do this before they offer any medical or surgical intervention)
I echo @TheDaydreamBelievers comments on the staff - just fantastic. As I was awake one of the nurses held my hand through the whole procedure and talked about daft things to distract me and I was so so grateful.

I know some hospitals don't offer the local anaesthetic like I had and it seems each trust is different as I also didn't have to have a covid test like @TheDaydreamBelievers and all my pre op stiff was done on the day of the procedure rather than before hand 😊

Thank you both so so so much for sharing. It took me hours again this morning to get the courage to ring, and I think they were expecting me as they said straight away they’d try and get me booked in for Monday morning. When she came back on the phone she offered tomorrow, but I was a bit taken aback by that as I thought id be waiting a week or more and my silence made her then say, but Monday is fine if that’s better for you. So I have to go in tomorrow afternoon for another scan and blood test (which is already my biggest fear) and for them to go through everything with me.

Now just to see if I can actually get through the next few days with nothing happening. I’ve had no spotting or bleeding at all, but I’ve had some lower back pain and small cramps. Can I ask if any of you had either of these? It’s worrying me that it’s just going to happen at any minute 😔

I had some cramping, back pain and actually started a little brown bleeding the day before surgery. They weren't bothered, it didnt progress to actual bleeding, and someone I know personally who is a professional in the field said theyd only cancel surgery if you had passed the fetus.

Just to warn you, they will likely ask you to sign paperwork about what you want them to do with the fetus/ other products of conception.⁵ We were happy with the hospital baseline (what they refer to as group cremation) but you may wish to consider what you would want.

Sorry didnt tag you @PumpkinEverything