MMC at 12 weeks

[TheDaydreamBelievers]

Hi,

We unfortunately found out at our 12 week scan that baby had no heartbeat and was measuring about 10+4. We had a scan (NHS - they had our dates wrong) at 10 weeks and all looked great.

They have offered 3 options - see what happens naturally, medication to induce misscarriage, or surgical under GA.

I have the booklets with the medical perspective but was wondering if anyone has had this experience at similar dates and would/would not recommend any of these. Obviously the added covid19 bit is that for either medical option my DH couldnt come to be with me.

Many thanks x

I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I had medical at 12 weeks but baby was only 5+5 so much smaller. With medical you just take the tablets and go home so your DH could be with you when it happens.
Could take a while though ( and for me it was very painful physically) whereas with surgery it's just all 'taken care of'.

I had surgery after a mmc where the heartbeat stopped at about nine weeks. It was quick and over in a couple of hours and then I could focus on the emotional healing.

I then had a natural miscarriage at about seven weeks - it took about three weeks all in. Wasn't too painful for me (seems different women have different experiences) but it felt more "damaging" emotionally.

I would now always pick the surgery if I had a choice.

But it depends. I know some women want it to be entirely natural.

Not helpful I know - I guess part of the question might be will doing it naturally help you come to terms with the loss? Do you think the process will help you accept it? If so, perhaps do but be prepared for it to be possibly painful. Just my thoughts.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Being alone for this stuff is so hard. You are strong enough to do any of the options and you will come through this.

Yes, I had scan at 13 weeks to find that there had been no heartbeat since around week 8, and although I had a suspicion that all wasn't well it was still a bit of a shock. I had surgery about 4 days later and found it very straightforward physically. I think this helped as everything was just done and I could get back to normal which is very much my way of coping, rightly or wrongly.
I'm not sure I would have coped well with anything other than surgery, but of course everyone is different.

My MMC happened the day I turned 12 weeks. I woke up that morning so pleased I'd reached the 12 week milestone and started bleeding a few hours later. I decided to go down the surgical GA route as I couldn't bear the thought of the other options. This was a long time ago so no COVID issues. It was definitely the right choice for me at the time and if it had ever happened again I would have chosen the same. Sorry for your loss OP

And of course I meant to say, I'm so sorry you are going through this, especially now when hospitals are restricting visitors and so on. Look after yourself.

Have the surgery OP. I had similar, but was measuring slightly smaller than you. Had to wait a week and get scanned again to confirm. The night before the second scan, I started having contractions, went into hospital with a hot water bottle. Had the scan and they confirmed that the baby wasn’t viable. I decided to take the medical route because I could tell throngs we’re starting to happen on their own, but had to have a blood test and told to come back in 24 hrs for the pills.

Within half an hour of getting home I passed out on the toilet in agony. Ended up lying on our bathroom floor in screaming agony, bleeding, passing clots and begging my husband to kill me for 4 hrs, I’ve never experienced pain like it. He called the EPU and they basically said, yeah, that can happen, she’ll be like that for a while, give her some paracetamol. No one when I had been at the hospital had warned me that anything like that could happen, I was always under the impression that it would be like a heavy period. To be fair, I think that for most women it is, I was unlucky. Turns out that when I went back to the EPU the next morning, they scanned me again and the yolk sac was caught in my cervix so I had to have the surgery any way a couple of days later.

The surgery was the easiest and least painful part of the whole experience and everyone was so kind. I would always recommend the surgery now, both my husband and I are still traumatised by what happened. I’m so sorry you’re having to make this decision, life can be so fucking cruel.

Thank you all and so sorry to hear about what you have experienced x

I was the same exact same dates as you scan at 12 weeks measuring 10+4. I opted for medical to start with but as I was measuring over 10 weeks I was admitted as in inpatient and quite frankly wouldn't of wanted to go through that at home tbh...
(I was allowed my partner with me tho) .

Unfortunately I had to have 3 x lots of tablets before I started bleeding over the course of many hours /overnight and lots of internal examinations. When I did start to bleed it was very heavy , I felt sick and had diarrhea. The hospital were very good, gave me all the painkillers and antisickness I needed. They also checked to see if i passed any pregnancy tissue which with the amount of blood i would of struggled to check this myself at home...but unfortunately I didn't. I was told given my gestation though that it would be obvious if I had but I passed many very large clots.

I was sent home and told to wait a week to see if i bled further or passed anything but after leaving the hospital I didn't bleed at all. I was rescanned the week later and confirmed nothing had passed. I was told i would need the surgical under GA. I had to wait another week to be booked in as it was busy....

Surgical management was much easier, I was only in the hospital for a few hours instead of overnight and no heavy bleeding feeling sick or as much pain.

The only benefit from waiting so long and trying the tablets first for me was that it gave me time to come to terms with what was happening to me. However it was also dragged out and I just wanted it to be over!

Covid is making things difficult, I was fortunate enough that the hospital had just started allowing partners . This was at the start of September so has probably changed again with lockdown.

Im sorry you have to go though this at all its not very nice :( . Hopefully your hospital are good with you whichever option you decide. If I had been alone I know I would be looked after as even with my partner there the staff still made sure I was as comfortable as possible xx

So sorry to read this OP.

I am going through similar, should be 10 weeks and measuring at 6ish but with an enlarged gestational sack. It's most certainly a MM just got to wait another week for a rescan to be given my options.

I'm really interested to read that a lot would opt for the surgical option abs that's helpful should I be asked the same. Sending love OP, I hope you have a lot of support around you x

I'm not sure at what stage they offer surgical @bez91 - the nurse who spoke to me did tell me that its offered under local anaesthetic when you are at fewer weeks pregnant but as I am 10-11 weeks it would be under a general anaesthetic.

That's helpful thank you @KM89 and sorry that this happened to you. I do know that the efficacy of natural is 65%, medical (pills) is 85%, surgical 95%. So surgical seems the most intensive but also the most certain to be "done". The aspect of it drawing out over weeks and weeks is really getting to me.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I am so sorry that this has happened to you. It's so hard. I had a similar experience a bit over a month ago, at a scan at nearly 11 weeks I was diagnosed with a MMC - no heartbeat and baby was measuring 8+2. I had seen the heartbeat at 7 weeks and had no symptoms at all so it was a complete shock. I was recommended surgical management because of the size of the sac. I had to wait 2 weeks for the surgery because of waiting lists. Nothing happened naturally during that time and I found that two weeks really hard still being "pregnant" but knowing that it had to end. By the time the surgery day arrived I really wanted the miscarriage to be complete so that I could start to move on from it and recover. The surgery was absolutely fine, the doctors and nurses could not have been nicer. I bled lightly for just over 2 weeks but had very little pain. I now feel physically very much back to normal.

I haven't experienced medical management but I can reassure you that you have nothing to fear if you do opt for surgical management and it has the advantage of a high success rate and a definite end to the process.

Sending you love and best wishes - I totally understand what you are going through

So sorry @thedaydreambelivers. Hope you are doing OK?
I had a mmc at 12+3 I'd only seen the heartbeat less than a week previous.
Anyway I had medical management first, but as an inpatient. For me personally I was pleased to be in hospital for this just so they could keep an eye on bleeding/manage pain? and just for the reassurance I suppose?
My bleeding lasted 3 weeks after the medical and I was still getting positive pregnancy tests. I started with contractions one night and thought I'd either got a raving infection that i'd missed or my more rational side considered if it was my uterus going back to normal... It was neither, I had a lot of retained "product" I was so surprised there was already so much come out (sorry tmi) I ended up having surgery but under local. Again just personally I was too petrified to have general anaesthetic.
The mva under local was abit uncomfortable but it was OK and over and done with really quickly. I just wanted to be able to move on with my life which is why I opted for surgical in the end. If you have any questions about either please feel free to ask. I know I've waffled! Everyone's experiences are so different but you are so strong whatever option you go for! Wishing you luck.

So sorry OP, it's such a horrid thing to have to go through. I had a miscarriage in July - went for my 12 week scan and was told the heartbeat had stopped around 9-10 weeks. I opted for the surgical management - to be totally honest I just wanted it over and done with as quick as possible so I could begin to try process it all. Plus I already had children at home so didn't think the other options were that practical for me. Luckily my DH was allowed in for the procedure. I had local anaesthetic and the pain was bearable (I had gas and air). The staff were amazing. It didn't take too long and I fortunately had very little pain afterwards and no bleeding.

Whatever you choose to do, there is no right or wrong way. Take all the time you need in coming to terms with what has happened. It's such a emotional rollercoaster, no matter what stage of pregnancy you were at. Sending you lots of love.

So sorry you’re going through this, it’s really shit isn’t it.

Personally I would 100% go for surgical if I have another miscarriage. I won’t tell you all the details as I don’t want you to be freaked out, but for me the natural option ended up with being blue lighted in to hospital and multiple blood transfusions.

Actually I will add that the one thing I had none of was pain! Every woman’s experience is very different.

Thank you all for your kind comments and sharing experiences. I will let you know how things turn out. We are just taking some time to process and think (and cry!)

@TheDaydreamBelievers so sorry you're going through this. I have had experience of 'wait and see' as well as surgical and I have to say surgical was by far easiest. It was over so quickly, very little pain and for me it allowed me to begin my healing process. Waiting to see is just mind numbing and prolongs an already horrific experience. Thinking of you x

Hi everyone, just to say I'm booked in for surgical management in a weeks time. Hopefully all goes well.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had the surgical option and several miscarriages at home and have to say the surgery was easier.
Take care of yourself xx

Hi,

I am so sorry for your loss!

I am in a similar situation to you. I went to my 12 week scan on 9th November and there was no heartbeat.
I initially opted for the medical management as I hadn’t done enough research into it (obviously, as we didn’t expect this to happen).
Unfortunately my medical manabgemenr didn’t work and I felt it added to the trauma as you are sent home to wait for something to happen and if you are like me, and nothing does, then you have to go back and have another scan to be reminded again that your baby didn’t survive and think about other options.
If I could rewind I would opt for surgery as it was virtually painless for me. I am home now and bleeding 9 days on but in myself I feel ok.

Just be kind to yourself, get lots and lots of rest. You will feel exhausted some days and others you will feel fine.
I wish I could do something to change your situation but please know you aren’t alone.

Good luck with whatever choice you make 💕

Hope you're doing ok OP?

I went for our scan today and as expected no change to a missed miscarriage diagnosis.

Really glad to hear people's experiences on this post which really helped me make my decision. I'm also having surgical management next week.

I'm sorry for your loss. I've just gone through miscarriage myself - found out at 10 weeks scan, had stopped growing at 9 weeks. It took almost 2 weeks to start bleeding, but now thankfully a week later it's all come through and bleeding has stopped. I'm waiting another week to take a pg test to see if it's negative. as I knew beforehand I will miscarry, I could get painkillers from GP etc to get my head around it. Stay strong and good luck x

@Coffee4me can I ask if this happened for your naturally? And if you don’t mind sharing your experience as to how it was.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I’m so so sorry this is happening to you, we were both in the same June 2021 group. I’d come on here to wonder the same thing as we found out this week that our baby stopped growing at 8 weeks (should have been 9). I initially thought I wanted to wait for it to happen naturally but I’m getting myself really worked up about it, and the 5 days I’ve known now have been the longest of my life. All the options really frighten me. I do hope you’re able to share how it goes for you, and that it all goes as well as it can do. Judging my the dates of your post about it I think your due for the surgery tomorrow

Hi @PumpkinEverything im really sorry you are in the same position. Yes, surgery is tomorrow! Have had to self isolate from my DH all weekend which is a bit crap. Will let you know how it goes xx

@PumpkinEverything yes mine happened naturally (just took few weeks). Physically it was ok, as I had painkillers (codeine from GP) to take off the pain. It took about 5-6 days after bleeding started that everything had come through, and then it was few more days of bleeding. Good thing is that I work from home so it was easier to manage than having to go to office/ work outside.