11 weeks pregnant.. Think I'm miscarrying

[Dollymixture77]

Hi there

I'm 43 and 11 weeks pregnant today.
Straight forward pregnancy so far until last night. I experienced a small amount of brown discharge.

This morning I have a small amount of dark red blood with a dull lower back ache.
I also have some stretching sensations in the right side of my stomach
But no Cramps as yet.

I didn't think I would fall pregnant again, so when I did I wasn't sure how I felt. I Have 2 boys already and just thought I would now be too old to concieve.

But the thought now I could be losing this baby has filled me with dread and it has made me realise I always wanted a 3rd.

I know it's just a case of seeing how this pans out.. And there's not much I can do.

But I was just wondering if any of you ladies out there have experienced a similar thing and might share your thoughts on how it all turned out.

Just a quick update.

I spoke to Medicom who have referred me to the early pregnancy unit who have arranged for Me to have a scan in the morning.

🙏

I have no experience but just wanted to say hope all goes okay tomorrow

Fingers crossed for you! I had some bleeding early on with my joe 2.5 year old. Sending love

With my dd I had a big bleed at 12 weeks -that was terrifying - but she was and is absolutely fine and she is almost 7 now.
At the time we went to a&e and then spoke to the early pregnancy unit, they arranged to see me a day later and told me there really is nothing anyone can do but wait and see.
I just wanted you to know that it is possible to have a significant bleed and for everything to still be alright. As in our case it was. I really hope it’s good news for you too x

That means a lot little Poppet.

I haven't told any of my family and friends that I'm even pregnant and I'm going to the hospital on my own.

Pretty scared of I'm honest.

So thank you x

Dear Mammyloves wine

So glad you have your little Joe

Thank you for the love x

Dear Mum2be

Thank you so much for sharing your experience...
Im so glad it turned out well for you..
I just wish tomorrow would be here already..
Just spending the whole day thinking whether my baby is still with me or not..
But you're right.. Que Sera Sera ♡

Couldn’t read and run. Wishing you all the best and hope it goes well tomorrow

Had very similar symptoms to you at 8 weeks, unfortunately it was a miscarriage. The doctor I saw sent me home after a scan after I'd been bleeding and said I had to just wait and see, and that they'd seen lots of negative and positive outcomes after bleeding in early pregnancy so theres hope for sure. Sending you positive thoughts xx

Thinking of you today and hoping for good news.

Good luck today. I ended up with a mass bleed when I was 11 weeks pregnant and was sure I had miscarried. I was 44 and this was a little surprise number 4. Ended up it had been a bleed from a ruptured artery in the placenta. I was closely monitored throughout pregnancy but my young one is now 5. I hope you get positive news

Hey girls

Just leaving the hospital..
There was no heart beat 💔
I think I kind of expected it if I'm honest.
To make matters worse.. I have to go back for another scan on Monday as they need 2 sonographers to confirm a miscarriage and they only had one in today :(

Thank you all for your kind words.. They meant a lot on a day where I couldn't talk to anyone else.

Sunflowerandtulips your story is wonderful ❤️

Enjoy those beautiful children...
Im gonna hug my 2 boys a little bit tighter tonight x

I'm so sorry. Mumsnet is a great place if you need advise or a listening ear.

Hugs from me...... I had a couple of missed miscariiages and an ectopic in my early 40s too.It was emotionally very challenging.

So sorry to hear this. I miscarried twins at 11.5 weeks in April aged 40. Like you, I knew before the scan really, but that tiny bit of hope is an absolute bastard. Take care of yourself now. For what it’s worth, I’m now 6 weeks on and physically totally back to normal. We have decided to TTC again. I’ve already got 2 DCs, like you, and they’ve been an amazing comfort.

There is so much support here on MN, including a brilliant post, pinned at the top of this topic, about dealing with the practicalities.

Do keep posting if you want to talk to people who’ve been through this.

So sorry to hear this @Dollymixture77 Take it easy and take care of yourself now. Get plenty of rest. Please keep talking on here if you need advice or support- I’ve found Mumsnet to be a caring place when I needed some reassurance.

I've never known such a sweet group of caring people. I'm taken aback by all your kindness❤️

It's been a very surreal day.
I barely spoke to My partner, actually found it difficult to vocalise the situation.
I informed him by text from the hospital and we just exchanged looks since then and an attempt from him to try and ask me how I feel.. Met by a frosty response from me.. 'it is what it is.. I'm lucky to have 2 healthy boys . I dont want any drama'.

If that sounds cold.. Please know that I'm. Far from that. In fact, I'm so highly emotional I have to play it down and switch off.
I have a scan photo.
I'm not sure why.
I visited my late Dad at the graveyard today and asked him to take care of my lost angel.
I've drunk nearly a bottle of wine.
I plan to watch the rocket launch.

What next..
Hold on tight I guess 🙏

It will take time to come to terms with. Do talk to your partner though, it’s his loss too and he’s probably very worried about you.

Aww just do what is best for you this evening. We all grieve in different ways but as PP suggested, when you feel ready, try to talk to your partner about it. Even if it’s just a short conversation, just so that it doesn’t feel like it’s unsaid and bubbling under the surface. Only when you’re ready though.

Be kind to yourself physically as well as emotionally- you will probably feel tired and drained for a few days so do go easy on yourself. There is no right of wrong way to come to terms with it so just go at your own pace, it will always be sad but it does get easier. 💗

I have a scan photo.
I'm not sure why.
I visited my late Dad at the graveyard today and asked him to take care of my lost angel.

You cherish that photo because no matter what, that's your baby.
This made me tear up. Your dad will be taking good care of your baby.
I am so sorry. Please give yourself time. Allow yourself to grieve.
for you all x

Thank you for all so much your supportive replies. Your sweet words and support have helped me no end.
It's been a surreal weekend..
I've sobbed.. Felt numb... Gone off the radar a little. Watched the whole boxset of Normal People. Sobbed some more.
My partner informed my Mum as she kept videoing calling and I couldn't bare to face her just yet. She didn't even know I had been pregnant so it would have come as a shock.My Sister and brother are also now aware and have sent supportive messages.
I've spent a fair bit of time on my own trying to process the situation, but we also took a family walk to the beach yesterday which helped.
I managed to have a short conversation with my partner, but find it difficult to go into any great detail. I really do struggle with the concept of poor us when we have 2 beautiful healthy little boys yet some women struggle to have any. My partner does seem fine though, as if nothing has happened really. I think sometimes that's just how guys are. They can be far more detached in situations like this as they don't do through the physical aspects.

I think the worst part of all of this though is that I'm just waiting .. I don't know how long it will all take, and nothing has really happened since I was examined at the hospital. I'm just waiting for the pain and the blood.. And it scares me.

I've got another appointment at the hospital this afternoon where they will do a second scan. I have the option of taking the medication to speed up the process but I'm just not sure what to do

Has anyone taken this route before? Would you recommend it? I'm normally someone who prferes do things naturally but equally I don't wish to be waiting and waiting for the awful inevitable.

I really would appreciate your thoughts.
Appointment is at 3..

Xxx

Hi OP,

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. It’s just the worst pain, like nothing I’ve ever known before. You’ll be ok though, just allow yourself to feel the pain, don’t try to minimise it. You have 2 healthy children but that doesn’t make your loss any less. You’ve lost a much wanted baby and that hurts like hell.

I have no advice for the next part, I’m sorry. I was 17 weeks when my boy died so wasn’t given any options other than to be induced and deliver him at the hospital.

Sending you virtual hugs and a hand hold to help you through this horrendous time.

Dear @Heartbroken2020

Thank you for your message.
I am so so sorry for your loss. I couldn't even imagine what you went through. Having to have an induction in this situation is just completely heartbreaking.

I can't help but feel I have got off lightly compared to so many women.

Sending you much love.. And embracing your virtual hugs

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost two separate pregnancies at 16 weeks so I k ow a bit about what you are going through. The first one came without intervention (before we knew we were miscarrying) but I needed surgery for the placenta. The second one I took the medication for. I’ll be honest it was very hard having the medication as the contractions were incredibly intense, more so than when I gave birth to either of my children. But at 16 weeks surgery wasn’t an option. I think I just wanted it over with rather than have it drag on and just wait. Not sure if I would do that same again though as it was such an intense time. Hope you are ok, and have support in whatever you decide x

OP, you’ve lost your baby. No one on earth would suggest you’ve got off lightly. I just really hope the next part is as kind as it possibly can be for you.

What time is your appointment today? I’ll be thinking of you. How is your partner doing?

I follow Zoe Clarke-Coates (a grief expert) on Instagram and she really does sum up the range of feeling and emotions we suffer when we lose a baby.

The best advice I was given was to just hold on. I felt like the grief would kill me in the early days but the sun is starting to shine again. The pain doesn’t go, you just kind of learn to live with it.