Delayed miscarriage

[disneyqueen91]

On Tuesday we went for our scan and found out our baby died at 9 weeks. I've opted to wait it out for the time being as I'm not ready to let it go but I just wanted to ask if anyone else had the same feeling and what was the first sign you were loosing the baby? With every twitch I'm like OMG it's now. I don't feel like I can have any medical help at the moment as I want to keep my baby as long as I can ( I know that sound silly) any help would be great.

Thinking of you all!

So last Sunday I had some brown discharge and just put it down to spotting. On Wednesday while at work I again had the discharge but also some pinkish blood on the tissue. Call to the doctors and a next day emergency scan booked at the early pregnancy unit! Went in a bit motionless was trying to convince my self was all well and we would walk out smiling thinking I was silly for going! However I have 3 healthy boys 11,8,5 and never had this before.
We went into the scan room and our worst fears confirmed “the baby i am looking at Zoe is not that of an 11weeks” I instantly started to cry and said “it hasn’t grown has it” there was no heart beat. My partner looked blankly at the screen trying to be strong for me as I lay there breaking my heart. The team was fab and gave us many options on what we could do next. I just wanted it gone. I said to my husband no more now just me you and our boys ! I was adamant in this moment I would never put my self through this again.
We are now two days after my op to remove the pregnancy. I have had a lot of thinking time alone and decided NO the stuff I brought is for our baby we wanted another baby and that’s what we shall have. I feel bad about thinking of having another so soon and question my self if I’m handling this all to well? I am a very positive person and believe things happen for a reason. I feel may be this baby was not well and would not have gone on to live a happy heathy long life. I do wonder what extra support and reassurance we will get on a pregnancy after miscarriage? I know I will be an anxious mess, will not tell a soul and worry a lot. Anyone have any idea what support you get? Xx

@Zoe89wakes I'm so sorry for what's happened. Being told there's no heartbeat is the worst thing I've ever heard and your so brave to have it removed. I couldn't let go. I do know what happens on your next pregnancy as my cousin is 20 weeks pregnant after a miscarriage in May 2019. You get scanned at around 6/8 weeks and you can have more appointments to listen to the baby's heartbeat. They recommend not getting a monitor to list yourself because if you can't find it you'll drive yourself mad. You can also get therapy but I'm not sure if that's just our Heath authority or all. They also recommend not trying until you've had your first period after the miscarriage and to make sure your head is in the right place so you aren't a mess with every twinge. They also take spotting very seriously.

I hope that helps a little. EPAC are brilliant and you can talk with people on the miscarriage awareness site. I wouldn't trust anything else but that and the nhs was the internet can be full of dark things.

@Zoe89wakes Hi so sorry you're going through this. Where I am at I was offered counseling if I wanted to. Also, the miscarriage association was very helpful. I thought that when I was told the baby hasn't grown that I have to let go because it want meant to be. The pregnancy isn't viable and baby will not be healthy so in that way it helped be to have some acceptance. I also had spoken to my local priest and that helped me too. Hope you have a speedy recovery. x

@mrsmb03 how are you? I’ve been struggling this week as we have decided not to start trying again with all the virus outbreak until at least June when we come back off our holiday. It’s so hard as all I want is to be pregnant again and people have said oh you’ll be pregnant in no time or when are you getting pregnant again? It sucks!

I hope you doing well and got back to 'normal' life. 💐

disneyqueen91 I am so sorry I have not answered this. I am ok, went back to work around end Feb I think it was and have not stopped, around March we were able to work from home then came back in the office around July. What has happened since your last post? Are you ttc again? We have been trying but not yet successful. Wish you all the best. x

@disneyqueen91 sorry forgot to tag you. x

@mrsmb03 I've been much better, I'm glad you've been able to work throughout. I had a wonderful lockdown with my husband. I like the fact I could hide from the world and grieve without having to explain myself. Yes we started ttc in June and have had a chemical pregnancy. While that sucked it was a good sign that we can easily conceive. My due date was in August which was very hard and I've completely missed my period this month. I think it's stress. Fingers crossed for you.