Delayed miscarriage

[disneyqueen91]

On Tuesday we went for our scan and found out our baby died at 9 weeks. I've opted to wait it out for the time being as I'm not ready to let it go but I just wanted to ask if anyone else had the same feeling and what was the first sign you were loosing the baby? With every twitch I'm like OMG it's now. I don't feel like I can have any medical help at the moment as I want to keep my baby as long as I can ( I know that sound silly) any help would be great.

Hi @disneyqueen91

I am going through the same thing now. I hope we can support each other and everyone who goes through this pain. we out last week on our 12 week scan that our baby was 6 weeks old we knew in our hearts that wasn't right. We were asked to come back in a week (today) for a follow up scan to check if our baby had grown, he / she hasn't. I'm going to try and do it naturally and have a conservative management.

Also, it is not silly. Only you know how to deal with your loss.

Good luck to us. x

It would be lovely to have support and someone to help though this time. I've had no signs and been told it could be weeks until it comes away.
If you have any questions I'm happy to try and help.

@disneyqueen91 was it your first baby? This is our first baby. Quite heartbroken. Was your scan last Tuesday your 12 week scan.

I had a happy pregnancy, no morning sickness, nausea, spotting or anything. I really thought all was well. It was the day before our scan that I notice a very very tiny bit of pinkish brown discharge. Then when we were told on the 12 week scan that our baby is 6 weeks old, we knew in our hearts that wasn't right. I think that night or the next day I've started having brown discharge which stopped for few days the started again until my follow up scan.
I've started bleeding tonight. I might start miscarrying very soon.
Please pray for me or send me your good thoughts. You'll be in mine too.

Was it the same for you?

How are you feeling?
xx

Yes this is my first pregnancy, mr and my husband had tried for 18 months. Yes we went to our 12 weeks scan and much like you if had a lovely pregnancy, no sickness but I did have everything else - in fact I'm still having all my pregnancy symptoms. I had Zero bleeding even after the scan but I've woke up for a wee at 5:30 and I've started to bleed so I don't think it will be long. I'll be thinking of you too. Do you have anyone with you? I'm very fortunate to have my mum and husband with me.

I feel like an awful mother. I'm supposed to protect and I couldn't but I know in my head that it's for a reason and it will all be ok.

I’m going through this just now. I had a scan at 7 weeks and there was a healthy strong heartbeat, I’ve had sickness everyday, lots of pregnancy symptoms and now reason to believe that anything was wrong. But I knew as soon as they started looking at the scan. I’m absolutely heartbroken, but also just numb. Like my whole world has went silent. I’ve opted for surgery on Monday, as I have fibromyalgia and am worried about the impact of a longer miscarriage. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too

@Nics23 I'm so sorry for your loss. My mum has fibromyalgia so I don't blame you having surgery I couldn't imagine going through this with that. I felt numb to being with but strangely yesterday I woke up feeling ready for it to end now and I started to bleed. I think it's all about getting your mind around it.

I'm here if you want to talk ❤️

@disneyqueen91 I have my DH and my sister in law who went through the same thing, she's been messaging me. She's supported me a lot. I've also spoken to our Priest after my first scan - even then we felt something is not right., also been to church several times. All these things help me to not keep my feelings inside and to allow myself to talk about it and grieve. Our priest said if it will help if we name our baby and to grieve. That I will see my baby one day.
The nurse yesterday said the same to us. She said to grieve and I'm trying to allow myself to have that experience. I've told my DH to not be afraid to cry. Maybe, you have started to bleed because your mind has processed what has happened so your body has followed. The nurse said mum's tend to bleed that day they've confirmed with health professionals that pregnancy has sadly not progressed.

Thank you for starting this thread.

@Nics23 Sorry for your loss. I've also felt like that, you just cannot believe it, can you? You go for a scan with excitement and then this. it is a shock in the system. I hope and pray all goes well for you on Monday. How come you have a 7 week scan?

You will be both in my prayers and thoughts. May we get through this safely and have a rainbow baby. x

Hi.
I’ve unfortunately been through this a few times.
I found out at 7 weeks after some spotting but did not miscarry until I was 13 weeks pregnant with full and strong pregnancy symptoms up until the last few days.
I then can only describe the experience to be labouring until the products of pregnancy passed.
For me, it was important to know that it was meant to happen naturally.
To intervene that time would not have been right for me.
I did end up going to a&e due the the heavy bleeding and the unmanageable pain where they kindly gave me gas and air and regular morphine.

When this happened again, I opted for what is known as “medical management “ which is medication to speed up the inevitable process as the waiting was just too difficult but also disruptive.

It’s bloody awful any which way.
Sorry you are experiencing this.

@crosser62 Thank you for sharing your story. How long were you in a&e for and when did you confirm, everything has passed? I'm trying to have it done naturally but unsure how long the process takes and whether I will end up in a&e as well.

@disneyqueen91 it doesn’t sound silly at all. However, please be prepared for the miscarriage itself to be very bloody and painful. It really isn’t a nice process at all. I would strongly urge you to have a D&C. I had multiple miscarriages. The first was “natural” and was just awful. I’m really sorry for your loss x

I've had 2 missed miscarriages before one the first one I opted to let nature take its course but the bleeding was horrendous like something out of a horror movie and I ended up in A&E and had a D&C and the second time I chose to have the D&C and it was so much better mentally and emotionally. I'm sorry for your loss. X

So sorry you are all going through this. My second pregnancy was a MMC - we also found out at 12 week scan.
Pregnancy had been fine up until that morning when I just felt 'wrong' Felt unreal to me and DH just crumpled.
I was due to travel to the US the week after with work and decided to still go to keep my mind off it. Also went away for a short break with family (& 18 mo dd) who knew and that helped
I didn't mc naturally so had a D&C after 3 weeks. Over in a matter of hours although was horrible waking up on a maternity ward as there was no space elsewhere. Very little pain though and no blood.

My 3rd pregnancy was a chemical one so not much blood there and was earlier.

My 4th is downstairs - 11 yo ds

Hope and prayers to all of you

It generally took between 12-24 hours and I didn’t need anything confirmed as I passed the entire sac and immediately as of a switch had been flicked, the pain stopped and the bleeding slowed.
I usually ended up in a side room on a surgical ward.

@jackstini Tha is for sharing your story. When you found out on your 12 week scan, you didn't bleed at all and after 3 weeks opted for d&c? How long did the d&c process took?

I would say that the 7 week wait for the miscarriage to end was like utter torture.
I was in the strange situation of not knowing if I should go to work or leave the house as I needed to be by a toilet and in my own privacy when it all started.
Something to consider.

D&C is usually a very quick process, takes less than 20 minutes for the procedure itself. You will be in and out the same day.

I went in to hospital about 11 for pre op. Had special anti-bac stuff to wash with the day before. I went into theatre at 2.30, was awake by 3.30 and back on ward 4ish. I could have left 5ish but consultant got called away on an emergency so discharge was about 7
I still remember the porter that pushed me down to theatre. He could see how upset and nervous I was so kept talking and was lovely

It never goes away but it does get less raw. Expect that there will be trigger moments when you least expect it though - always have tissues handy

Have you told people in RL? It definitely helped me to talk about it x

@disneyqueen91thank you. We had lots of family plans today and I almost cancelled but actually being out and about and distracted is doing me some good. I’m worried about it starting to happen it’s self though. How are you doing today?

@mrsmb03 I’m so sorry for you too. It’s just so hard to understand, especially when I still very much feel pregnant. I had a scan at 7 weeks as I’d had some spotting, but they said it was normal spotting and the baby was strong and normal for it’s age. The heartbeat was strong, so I was completely unprepared for this now.

Thank you for all your story's and I'm so sorry you all had to go through this! I do have one more question as I think things are on the move, was it hard to flush if that's what happened?

@Nics23 it's good to get out, I've been for walks around our street but canceled our plans for this weekend as we were meant to bowl with my husbands family tomorrow for his nana bday but as I've started to bleed I don't want to be that far from home and I don't want to ruin her bday with my sadness (they have all been great) im a little scared about it actually coming away but mainly because of the pain and the fact that I've just started to feel human again I don't want to go back to being a crying mess but I have great support from my mum and husband (even if he is on his ps4) 😂 enjoy your plans it will help take your mind off of things and relax

I have strange feelings today one moment I'm okay and one moment I'm quite teary, got I but upset that I had to clean the house while hubby is fast asleep, We're both off this weekend. So I sense I have some anger inside me, this may be part of grieving I am not sure but thought it was an emotion that has come out, yestersay anger at manager at work and now this. But I'm okay, I wasn't that upset.

I'm also just afraid of what is to come and trying to relax yet not knowing when the actual pain and passing will come.

I also did not have a lot of bleeding, I'm not sure what this means, is it because it's just starting? It was very dark red last night but there wasn't much, like a start of a period. I thought it will start last night but it didn't. And there's none today. Maybe it will come tonight I don't know.

@mrsmb03 it's ok to be angry, I've snapped at all my family in the last week. I've had no blood all day but some pain but this is what my periods are like. I've also been constipated the last week through stress which again is normal for me but that's passed now too. I have a feeling that by tomorrow evening it will all be over for me which is both good and bad. My husband is a little over it now, he's 100% supportive but obviously he wasn't in love or feeling what I am. I think once it's come away he will be back to being sad but the waiting game has him back to normal which is what I want. I love seeing him happy and normal it's one less thing to worry about. Plus he's the funniest man I know and making me laugh has been a great help these last few days.

To all,

After your first sign of bleeding how long did the miscarriage last?

@disneyqueen91 I am so pleased your other half is helping you get through this. That is a blessing. Also, thanks for posting that question I'm interested to find out as well as I'm only light bleeding and I'm not sure when I should be going back to work?
Ladies, how did or are you dealing with work at the time of miscarriage, how long did you go off for, did you start from when you were light bleeding?

@disneyqueen91 So sorry to hear this, I cant imagine how tough it is to find out at your 12 week scan. I understand not wanting to let go.
My experience was I had a lot of red blood when I wiped, like the start of a period. Until then I'd no symptoms at all. I got into contact with doctor and they got me into EPU for the next morning. The rest of that day I had period style bleeding, no cramps or clots. When I got to the scan next day, they confirmed the baby didn't have a heart beat and measured 8.5 weeks where as my dates I was 9+6. The period style bleeding continued that day until the evening, I started to cramp very painfully and start passing clots. Over the course of the next DAY I would have periods of feeling fine and periods of intense cramping and clotting. I finally passed the sad the next day. I knew it was the sac because it fell into the toilet with a massive plop and was a different colour to all the other clots. Once I passed that, the bleeding slowed down dramatically to almost nothing and no more pain. From first blood to final clot it was Thurs morn to Sun morn.
I hope that helps, I know I read the internet for other people's experiences once I knew what was happening. Look after yourself .