Currently in hospital going through medically managed miscarriage

[MilsCookie]

Hi all,

First of all if you’re reading this and going through something similar then I am so, so sorry. It is such a horrible thing and nobody should have to go through it. Hand hold for you 💐

I just wanted to post on here to share my experience really. And if anyone is reading this as I’m still in hospital (28th November) it would be great to have someone to talk to! My DP is with me but he’s just popped out to get some food.

So my miscarriage story begins like this. On Monday I had what I thought was going to be my 12 week scan. The previous week I had been having pink tinged discharge and some mild cramping but after googling I thought it was a normal part of pregnancy. Unfortunately at the scan I heard what nobody wants to hear; ‘I’m so sorry. There is no heartbeat.’ I couldn’t actually believe it and it took me a while to register what the sonographer was saying. I kept thinking they weren’t looking in the right place, or that the still image of my baby on the screen would suddenly start moving. Of course I knew in my heart that we had lost the baby. It had stopped growing at around 8 weeks. My DP and I were utterly devastated and I just burst into tears. The doctor left us for a few moments before we then had to walk past all the other expectant mums back to the consultation room where he would explain our options. Expectant, medical, or surgical miscarriage. I am currently in Vietnam travelling and so being away from home makes this all the more difficult. I decided to see if nature would take its course and left the hospital feeling completely heartbroken.

After we got back to our hotel on Monday I had some brown discharge on and off throughout the day.
On Tuesday it was much of the same, if a little heavier, and I began to wear pads.
On Wednesday I had some red/brown discharge and slightly stronger cramping. In the evening I read some stories online about what to expect and just had a complete meltdown and just wanted to get it over. So we decided we’d call the hospital first thing in the morning.
On Thursday (today) I was booked in for an appointment at 10:30am. They asked me for a urine sample and as I went to the toilet I passed for the first time some liquid, bright red blood, followed by a long thin (about 1cm by 5cm) clot. I was like yes! This is finally happening! At 1pm I got admitted to a bed and at 1:30pm I was given the first two misoprostol (2 x 200mg placed under the tongue for 30 minutes) and after about 15 minutes I felt what felt like really bad period pains ramping up. After about 30 minutes I was having what felt like contractions, which lasted around 10 seconds and came every minute. But the minute in between was still intense period pain. It was really painful so I asked for some more pain relief (at this stage I’d only had 400mg of ibuprofen) and they gave me an anti-spasm injection into my hip. After about an hour of intense pain it finally subsided and I waited for the bleeding to start. Except it hasn’t!! And that was 5 hours ago. Literally not had a drop of blood. I have, however, had really bad diarrhoea. The joys!!

It is now 7:15pm and I have taken two more 200mg misoprostol. I am awaiting the horrendous pains once again but really hoping that this time it helps move things along a bit.

Will update sometime later. Thank you for reading and again, I’m so sorry if you are going through the same thing. Be kind to yourself 💐 xxx

Handhold back honey. I can't imagine how scary it is being away from home 😭

@imamess1 thank you so much. It’s just so shitty 😔

Yes, shitty is the only word for it. I'm here for you. Pm me or post on here any time. Hope you're not in too much pain.

Ahhh that’s so kind of you. I just want it to hurry up. It’s now 9 hours since I took the first dose of misoprostol and I’ve barely had any bleeding but LOTS of cramping 😖😔

That is rubbish. What's the hospital like?

It’s actually really nice. I have my own room/bathroom and the nurses have been great (even if they speak little English and I have to use google translate!) the only problem is I can hear lots of newborn babies crying from rooms nearby 😔
Also I asked for a hot water bottle, and I got an actual bottle of water filled with hot water 🙈😂 oh well- it still does the trick!

Oh Sweetheart good luck, I had a very similar experience then all of a sudden, in the middle of the night, it happened - and instantly felt better - the pain disappeared, I fell straight to sleep (after some sobbing) The care was fabulous (I ended up needing to be in for a couple of days due to my tendency to bleed a lot and so needed a transfusion but that's not the norm) Wishing you all the best, thinking of you.

Glad the hospital's ok. Tbh I'm not sure you wouldn't hear babies in a lot of the same here. When we stumbled out on Tuesday there was a massive ad for baby hand and feet casting that got me.

On a happier note, how long have you been travelling and where did you visit?

Sorry for your loss cucumber x

Update:
It is now Friday 29th 13:50pm in Vietnam and it has been 24 hours since I was given the first dose of misoprostol to induce the miscarriage. I have had plenty of abdominal cramping but next to no bleeding. This is torture. Does anyone know how to speed the process up?

@imamess1 we began travelling at the end of August and first went to Nepal. We spent about 6 weeks there and did some trekking (which is when I conceived). The pregnancy was unplanned but very much wanted and we thought it must have been the ‘mountain air’ that we got lucky.
We then went to the south of India, which is when I first realised I’d missed my period and took the pregnancy test. We were very shocked to see the two pink lines as you can imagine, but again, very happy and excited. I spent the rest of that month in India being very careful, no caffeine, alcohol, eating good food etc. After India we flew to Australia where we spent some time with distant family on both sides (aunties/cousins). As we weren’t going to see them again for a while we told them about the pregnancy, even though I was only about 8 weeks. We then flew to Fiji for a week which was absolutely incredible and we had the best time. We then flew to Vietnam and after 3 days of being in Ho Chi Minh city I had my 12 week scan and found out the news.
It’s been such an amazing few months of travel, most of the time highlighted further by the excitement of pregnancy and the future. But now we have both come crashing down and I’m no longer pregnant and just sat waiting for my miscarriage to happen in a foreign hospital. Sigh.

@QforCucumber thank you for your kind words and I’m so sorry that you’ve also had to go through this pain. Life can be so shit at times 💐 xxx

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I am in a similar situation and the pain of the heartbreak is excruciating. However, to be in a hospital in a foreign country with a language barrier must surely make the process all the more difficult. My heart goes out to you.
We went for an early scan on Monday due to a previous miscarriage, to be told at 8+4 that our baby had no heartbeat and had stopped developing at 6+6. I have older children at home and it’s so difficult to put on a brave face and not let them know what’s happening. I am going to a lady this evening who practices holistic therapies so I’m hoping she will be able to start the miscarriage process.

@TheFoz thank you for your kind words and I’m so sorry to hear of your losses. I can’t imagine having to go through this again, so I really feel for you. Especially having young children at home it must be so difficult. Big hug 🤗

Update: it is now 9am on Saturday 30th Nov and I have had a really bad night’s sleep due to uterus pain. I have been having painful contractions, particularly between 5-8am. I have passed a bit of blood, but nothing more than a period really. So it suggests that the medication hasn’t really worked. I have just had an ultrasound and of course it showed that the foetus is all still there, and so I am going to have the vacuum aspiration to take it out.

I really didn’t want to go down the surgery route but it seems this is my best option now, to avoid getting an infection or haemorrhaging. Especially when I am in Vietnam I want to stay somewhere where I know I am in safe hands, rather than head back to our hotel not knowing what could happen.

Life is so great sometimes!!

Update: 11:46am Saturday 30th November

I have just had the vacuum aspiration to remove the foetus. All went well and I was under general anaesthetic for about 45 minutes. The procedure itself only took about 10 mins. I came round pretty quickly and I’m now back in my hospital room about to have lunch. Hoping for a speedy recovery from now.

Hope you are doing ok @MilsCookie. I’ve had 3 surgical m/cs and the physical recovery has been fine. Emotionally much harder. And be prepared for breathtakingly stupid comments from friends and family while you come to terms with your loss. Miscarriage is still so under played and misunderstood except by those who’ve been through it, and even all of us who’ve walked this path deal with it in different ways. Take care of you .

Thank you so much @SpaghettiSharon and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through the same thing 3 times. It’s such a traumatic experience. I’m not looking forward to the next few weeks but trying to be positive. 🌟 xxx

Update: 16:05 Saturday 30th November.

I am allowed to leave the hospital, 5.5 hours post surgery. I could have left sooner but we had to wait for our travel insurance to confirm they could pay our bills as we’re not in the UK. It would have been a big expensive bill, and it’s making me worry about the privatisation of the NHS even more!! Just so pleased it is all over xxx

Glad you're on the road to recovery now @MilsCookie.
I have my surgery on Monday and ready to put this all behind us now and look forward to Christmas.
The extra stress and worry of being away from home must be awful . Medical costs are terrifying and it does highlight how fortunate we are to have the NHS.

Thank you @GoldenBauble. Thinking of you in the lead up to your surgery. Let us know how you get on. At least you know you are definitely having that and you know when etc. I think I was struggling because I was hoping and waiting for the medical miscarriage to happen, knowing that the surgery would come next if the medicine didn’t work. It’s been a tough few days but it’s all done now. Just gotta take it easy for the next few days. Look after yourself 💐 xxx

So sorry to hear of your loss OP. I’m in a similar situation - gave birth to my baby boy at 20 weeks yesterday after having lost him at 13 weeks. I know the pain you’re feeling, big hugs x

@milscookie pleased it's all over physically for you. The waiting must have been terrible. Been thinking about you a lot x

Love to everyone else too especially those still going through it

Hi @MilsCookie just checking in to see how you are doing?

Hi @GoldenBauble thanks for checking in - I’m doing ok thank you. All I can think about now though is getting pregnant again! I think I’ve had egg white cm for the last couple of days (it’s around 17 days since I started bleeding so would match to my old cycles) but no idea if I’ve ovulated or not. So tempting to just try again but we are going to wait until I’ve had my first period. How are you doing? Xx

So sorry for the late reply @imamess1 and @HenrysHome. Thank you both for your kind words 😘

@HenrysHome I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Giving birth at 20 weeks sounds so traumatic. Hope you’re being kind to yourself. Sending you lots of hugs. How are doing? Xxx 💐

Glad you're doing well @MilsCookie. That's positive you're ready to start trying again. I feel so conflicted by it all at the minute. One part of me wants to try again straight away the other part of me wants to give it a few months to make sure we're in the best position both physically and emotionally. I'm feeling quite anxious about being in this situation again (more because I'm terrified of having to have more surgeries and the potential increased risk to fertility from numerous operations). I'm trying to feel slightly in control of the situation by making sure we've had a few months of exercising, eating healthy, limiting alcohol etc. The likelihood is it will make no difference as our loss was more than likely just one of those things and nothing we did/didn't do caused it, but I don't want any regrets if that makes sense. My GP has also agreed to refer me to the consultant because of my underlying blood condition. Think my husband thinks I've slightly lost it (especially in the run up to Christmas!) which I probably would agree but at least I feel more in control! He has a very laid back, never google anything attitude which I wish I had too sometimes.

How has your recovery been? Mines been pretty smooth, did have some surprise bleeding a few days after it had all stopped but this has disappeared again now. I'm really anxious about testing in a few weeks incase this is still positive and there are some retained products and I need another surgery. Do you have any follow up?

Ahhh I’m so sorry @GoldenBauble that it’s created a lot of anxiety for you. It has for me too but I’m trying to remember that it probably was just ‘one of those things’ and so many people have a miscarriage and go on to have successful pregnancies. Having said that it doesn’t mean I haven’t googled every possible thing that pops into my head. My DP is also anti-Googling and is trying to encourage me to just relax. Why is it so much easier for them?! It’s always a good idea to aim to be in a good place emotionally and physically. I’m also going to start exercising more in 2020 and focus on healthy eating etc. But we have to remember that it’s very unlikely that something we did caused the mc. Sadly we have just been the unlucky ones.

Do you know much about your underlying blood condition or is it something you found out whilst being pregnant? It will be good to get a consultant’s advice about it.

I did two pregnancy tests yesterday (13 days post surgery but 18 days since I started bleeding) and if you squinted really hard you could see the faintest line. So I’m hoping that the HCG levels are almost out of my body now. I’m going to test again in a week.

In terms of a follow up it’s been a bit tricky cos I’m still away travelling. The insurance company have been really good though and want me to have a check up before I fly home so I think I’m going to a different hospital on Monday. I’m hoping they will do another ultrasound to check everything has gone. They did one whilst I was still under anaesthetic and apparently it was all clear but it will be good to check. Recovery wise I bled like a light period for about 4 days post surgery and then just had a tiny amount of brown discharge every day for the next 5 days. I’ve been having usual coloured dc for the last 4 days and within that had some EWCM. No idea what’s going on! Looking forward to getting my first period- which going by my old cycles I should be due any time between 28th Dec - 1st Jan. When is yours due? Xx

@MilsCookie it's so hard not to google everything but all it does is create a lot of unecesarry anxietyI keep reading of people's experiences post surgery and some of the problems they have experienced with periods not returning for months etc and freak out a bit. But then try and remember that the vast majority of people have no complications at all and they just don't post about it because they're not looking for any support etc and there's nothing to really share. I'm totally with you in believing that it probably was just one of those things and we were unlucky this time around and hopefully next time things will pan out for us. I'm determined to not be a complete anxious mess about any future pregnancy but think it is going to taint things.

I did already know about my blood. It's a minor clotting disorder but I've been reassured that it shouldn't have any huge impact on pregnancy especially if I'm on aspirin but who knows. Maybe the consultant might have a different view and will suggest a different course of action next time. That's if they even accept the referral given I've only had one loss. I would just rather have the reassurance that if there is something which could be done to prevent this outcome again, we're aware beforehand as the thing I'm most worried about is having to have numerous surgeries and this then affecting my fertility in the long run (I know this is me hugely catastrophizing). At the same time I don't want to wait for long to ttc as I'm conscious it could take us a while, we were lucky last time and it happened fairly quickly but no guarantee that will be the case again I suppose. It's such a dilemma. Luckily I'm only just coming up for being 30 so we do have a bit of time on our side in that respect although now I've started to wonder if we should have started sooner!