Currently in hospital going through medically managed miscarriage

[MilsCookie]

Hi all,

First of all if you’re reading this and going through something similar then I am so, so sorry. It is such a horrible thing and nobody should have to go through it. Hand hold for you 💐

I just wanted to post on here to share my experience really. And if anyone is reading this as I’m still in hospital (28th November) it would be great to have someone to talk to! My DP is with me but he’s just popped out to get some food.

So my miscarriage story begins like this. On Monday I had what I thought was going to be my 12 week scan. The previous week I had been having pink tinged discharge and some mild cramping but after googling I thought it was a normal part of pregnancy. Unfortunately at the scan I heard what nobody wants to hear; ‘I’m so sorry. There is no heartbeat.’ I couldn’t actually believe it and it took me a while to register what the sonographer was saying. I kept thinking they weren’t looking in the right place, or that the still image of my baby on the screen would suddenly start moving. Of course I knew in my heart that we had lost the baby. It had stopped growing at around 8 weeks. My DP and I were utterly devastated and I just burst into tears. The doctor left us for a few moments before we then had to walk past all the other expectant mums back to the consultation room where he would explain our options. Expectant, medical, or surgical miscarriage. I am currently in Vietnam travelling and so being away from home makes this all the more difficult. I decided to see if nature would take its course and left the hospital feeling completely heartbroken.

After we got back to our hotel on Monday I had some brown discharge on and off throughout the day.
On Tuesday it was much of the same, if a little heavier, and I began to wear pads.
On Wednesday I had some red/brown discharge and slightly stronger cramping. In the evening I read some stories online about what to expect and just had a complete meltdown and just wanted to get it over. So we decided we’d call the hospital first thing in the morning.
On Thursday (today) I was booked in for an appointment at 10:30am. They asked me for a urine sample and as I went to the toilet I passed for the first time some liquid, bright red blood, followed by a long thin (about 1cm by 5cm) clot. I was like yes! This is finally happening! At 1pm I got admitted to a bed and at 1:30pm I was given the first two misoprostol (2 x 200mg placed under the tongue for 30 minutes) and after about 15 minutes I felt what felt like really bad period pains ramping up. After about 30 minutes I was having what felt like contractions, which lasted around 10 seconds and came every minute. But the minute in between was still intense period pain. It was really painful so I asked for some more pain relief (at this stage I’d only had 400mg of ibuprofen) and they gave me an anti-spasm injection into my hip. After about an hour of intense pain it finally subsided and I waited for the bleeding to start. Except it hasn’t!! And that was 5 hours ago. Literally not had a drop of blood. I have, however, had really bad diarrhoea. The joys!!

It is now 7:15pm and I have taken two more 200mg misoprostol. I am awaiting the horrendous pains once again but really hoping that this time it helps move things along a bit.

Will update sometime later. Thank you for reading and again, I’m so sorry if you are going through the same thing. Be kind to yourself 💐 xxx

Sorry posted to soon whilst trying to correct my spelling of unnecessary .

That's good that they're going to offer you a follow up scan. I have been slightly baffled that they don't do this on the nhs to check that they have removed everything. In fact I struggle with understanding why they do the whole procedure 'blind' when all of the risks seem to be massively reduced if this wasn't the case. I'm sure there's a good reason for this 🤷🏼‍♀️.

My periods were always fairly regular between 28-32days and my surgery was 2nd dec so probably similar dates to you. Although I did have some more bleeding last night, only really light but it is 11 days post surgery so maybe they might take a little while to return, who knows. Just a waiting game now I suppose.

Hi. I have been reading this thread for a few weeks after loosing my baby at 19 weeks. When I was around 17 weeks pregnant I started bleeding. I went to the pregnancy unit at my hospital and I was checked over. They said my cervix was closed and baby's heart beat was fine and they also checked baby on a bedside scan and said all was ok and they sent me home and advised I had 2 days off work and bed rest and to come back if it hadn't stopped. I had 2 days in bed and then went back to work. I was still bleeding but because they said the bleeding wasn't todo with the pregnancy I wasn't so worried. As the weekend approached the bleeding got heavier and I started passing clots. I went back to hospital and was checked again and they told me they couldn't find where the bleeding was coming from but they wanted me to stay in overnight to keep an eye on me. During that night I started bleeding heavier and I wasn't feeling much movement but all they kept telling me was it was still to early to feel movement but I'd been feeling it for a week or so before so I knew something was wrong. They checked the heart beat again and it was still there and they said it was a great heart beat. The next day I was sent down to the scan department for an urgent scan and there I was told that there wasn't much fluid around the baby. I was told to bed rest for 2 days and if it had not improved I would have to terminate the pregnancy. 2 days of bed rest and I noticed my tummy was floppy I think it was from the lack of fluid in there around the baby. I went back for the 2nd scan and this time they couldn't even measure the fluid around the baby as it had almost gone. 2 days later I had to take the pill. It was horrible going into the scan department where expectant mothers where happy and I was going to end my pregnancy. I was sent home after taking it and told to ring the Labour ward in 2 days to go back and take the final 2 tablets. I was only home a few hours and I started having contractions so my partner took me straight to the Labour ward and I gave birth to a beautiful boy Lewis the next day. 1 month has gone by and I'm feeling terrible. I just can't get over it. One min I am greiving for him the next I'm getting angry when i see pregnant woman and I'm not pregnant and then I'm sad as I'm worried I may never get pregnant again as my baby was conceived through IVF. I really just want to feel happy again but I'm struggling so much.

Hi @Stor123 that sounds like a really traumatic experience for you . I can't imagine what it must have been like to have to go through the process of giving birth to your baby. I know there is another poster on here at the minute who has been through very similar, I think her name is henryshome. Keep an eye out for her you may find it useful to talk to someone who has been through very similar.

I understand your worries about the future. I have similar anxieties (as you can probably tell from my previous posts!). For me I think the best thing I can do right now is just allow myself some time to feel more in control of a situation which is very much out of our control (and that terrifies me). Have you thought about counselling? Because of your experience you may find this useful?

I'm trying to stay positive and cling on to the positives. At least we know we can get pregnant now and I read somewhere that even with ivf, if you have been pregnant but experienced a loss, there's a higher chance that a future pregnancy could be successful. I don't know if that's any comfort to you or not right now but I find these little facts/statistics useful and give some hope for the future

I think I might need counselling as I am really struggling at the moment. I wake up every morning and I feel like my heart is pounding out my chest. I will look out for the person who has been through a similar thing. Do you know what thread she is in ?

@henryshome how are you keeping? I had to give birth to my baby at 19 weeks on 16th Nov. I'm still not doing good at all. X

@Stor123 I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss 😔💐 what a horrendous experience you’ve had to go through. I really do hope you’re okay and you’ve got lots of supportive people around you. I agree with @GoldenBauble and really think counselling could be the best thing for you. When I get back to the UK and after Xmas I am definitely going to look into seeing someone. I don’t think a miscarriage (especially so late) is something you can ever really get over, but it would definitely help to talk to somebody impartial and to get some professional help to manage your feelings. Sending you lots of love and strength 💖💐 xxxxxx

@GoldenBauble I totally agree with you - the majority of positive experiences don’t get posted about - so we have to remember that the negative experiences we have read may seem like ‘more’ - but in reality it is a tiny proportion of people and the odds are usually in our favour. We have been unlucky in that the statistics say 1/4 pregnancies end in miscarriage... but that means 3/4 don’t ...and so next time we should have better luck. Fingers crossed for us all anyway 🤞 🌈
I think it will help you to speak to a consultant and get their advice. It doesn’t sound like anything that should complicate future pregnancies. I am also anxious about the same thing happening again and having to have another surgery and then it affecting my fertility. But the chances are that it won’t happen again! We have to try to stay positive in all this, even though I know it’s hard and I definitely struggle at times. I have heard of many people having 2 or more surgeries and then they have gone on to have a natural, healthy pregnancy. It will happen for us too - I am sure 😊

Keep me updated how you are both getting on 😘

@MilsCookie i do have some good family support. I feel for my partner as his side hasn't given him as much as he probably needed. But he has my family. We both keep walking up anxious. I really hope this feeling dosent last to long. It is really hard walking pasaed what would have been his bedroom. And i really dont know what todo with all the stuff we have bought. Do i chuck it away or keep it just incase it happends again. Its so hard knowing we will have to go through the whole IVF process again.

I'm really sorry for what you went through also. Hope you are doing ok now? Xx

@Stor123 I really feel for you both. It must be so hard getting to 19 weeks and then having to go through what you did, I can’t even imagine the pain. I wouldn’t throw anything away just yet. Please don’t lose hope. You have conceived through IVF and I am certain you will again. In the meantime we are here if you want to chat or vent. You’ve been through something terrible and you need to give yourself time to grieve 😘

Thank you. I dont think it helps that it is Christmas. Hopefully time will heel xxx

@Stor123 things do always seem harder around this time of year. Take care and sending lots of love and strength to you 💐 💐 💐 xxx