Baby stopped growing at 9 weeks - What can I expect now please?

[SunStruck]

Hi guys,

Unfortunately my scan showed that the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks (should be 10 now). The midwife says natural passing is the best, and that could be anytime from now and 3 weeks time.

Can someone who has been in this situation advise me on what will happen next in terms of how bad it will be (painful and how much blood)?

I am going on holiday on Friday and for a week so very worried it will be really bad when it happens! I can't cancel as paid in full. Midwife advised me to not go and if I go be wary of where the hospitals are etc.

What can I expect? This is my first pregnancy and miscarriage.

Oh @SunStruck, I am so sorry 💜 you were on the 35+ thread weren't you? I'm sorry for your loss.

I naturally miscarried at 9+4 but the baby was only 5 weeks so might not be exactly the same. But might be helpful.

I started brown spotting and the next day this became small brown clots. That lasted for 2 days. In the evening I started light red bleeding and in the early hours of the next morning I had intense cramps (but manageable). Every time I cramped I went to the toilet and started passing clots. This lasted for a few hours, so had a wheat heat bag and painkillers to manage. Continued bleeding for a few days but that was more period like. Around 3/4 days later I had more cramping and passed some tissue but the bleeding had eased off by then. All in, it was around 11 days of spotting / bleeding. But painwise that was really only a day.

I hope that helps a bit, sorry if it was a bit graphic. If you do go away, make sure you take pain killers and I found it comforting to have the heat bag.

Sending love xx 💜

Hi @SunStruck.

Firstly I am so sorry you are going through this. I've lost two pregnancies at around the same time.

The first was a 'natural' miscarriage. It was over fairly quickly once it started (started about 3 days after we found out the baby had stopped growing). Pain was pretty intense until the pregnancy sac had passed. But I was able to manage it with hot water bottle and painkillers (paracetamol and ibuprofen)However what I would say is that I basically walked around my bedroom until it was over (walking helped with the pain), it was pretty messy and the actual pregnancy came away in the shower (sorry TMI). I'm not sure I would have wanted to have been on holiday. Do you have insurance?

The 2nd loss I tried to go down the 'natural' waiting route too, but it never progressed past some light spotting so I had tablets after 2 weeks.

I would add however that everyone's experience is different. If you do go away make sure to take lots of sanitary pads (not tampons) and painkillers.

@VenusStarr thanks so much 🤗 I'm so sorry for your loss too! We just need to get back into the saddle again :)

@bob1985 thanks for your story (and you Venus), sounds manageable! Yes I am going to the pharmacy to buy maternity pads now and painkillers!

Yes I do have comprehensive international insurance thank god!

This was just so unexpected, did you have a reason for your losses at the same time @bob1985? I thought it would be fine as I saw a heartbeat at the 6 week scan! And generally thought most losses happen around 5-6weeks.

Did you guys manage to get pregnant again fairly quickly after?

@SunStruck no reason ever confirmed. I think it's a bit early for them really to tell. One doctor did say that the main reason for loses at that stage are thought to be genetic.

Can't comment on getting pregnant again quickly as we had ivf. We did have a happy outcome in the end though (21 week DD)

I also saw a heartbeat

I'm sorry OP 💐
I had a natural miscarriage at 12 weeks (and several more miscarriages at earlier durations) - I won't lie it is painful and very very messy - I started spotting for about 1 week before the main event and then the bleeding started the night before ironically i was due to go in to take the pill to speed it up. I would say it took around 12 hours to pass everything but the most painful bit which is when the sac is passed was around 2 hours - I was changing my sanitary towels around every 15 mins - would feel an urge to "push" and would run to the loo so most of it went in there. I slept on towels leading up to it as was worried about waking in the night with a big bleed and I had my mum with me (I didn't want DH to see me in such a state)
I had lots of bath as that helps to relax the muscles and move things along a bit quicker x

@SunStruck

I've no advice about the miscarriage other than to offer sympathy but just wanted to mention be careful with your insurer.

Because you already know you're going to miscarry, they may consider it a pre-existing condition so if you have to have medical attention for it on holiday they may not pay for it.

@stackhead thanks for the warning! Hopefully I don't need hospital. I'm a European Union passport holder so hopefully it won't be too expensive should I need it though..

Hi,
Sorry to hear of all your losses , it's heartbreaking that we have to go through this. I wanted to share my experience as it is a bit different from the others.
I've miscarried 3 times, last one was a chemical at 4 weeks and was nothing different to a normal period. One was at 10 weeks and again was no more than a heavy period (I often clot so the sac was like a very large clot but a bit firmer with more shape and that was the only difference for me) I imagine I was quite lucky.
The other one it just wouldn't pass and leave my body, I had light blood for nearly 2 weeks but it wouldn't fully pass so had to go in for a termination procedure to fully remove it to prevent infection.
I hope yours is a light and natural passing and again so sorry for your loss x

@Kiza thanks for sharing and so sorry for your losses! Fingers crossed mine will be like yours xxx

Sorry forgot to ask, will I need to buy maternity pads or will extra thick night pads work??

I didn't need anything different to normal pads I'd use for period. It might be worth getting some of both if you're going to be away, just in case so you're prepared.

Thanks @VenusStarr xx

I'd get the night time super absorbent ones x

I'm so sorry for your loss

This happened to me too, and mine did pass naturally. The waiting was horrible but I did also feel underprepared for the miscarriage itself.

Pain wise, mine too was managed ok with paracetamol/ibuprofen. On a practical level I'd say you do need to get at least night pads, if not the super absorbent knicker-mattresses.

Thinking of you

So sorry you're going through this.
I think all experiences of miscarriage are very different even different miscarriages for the same woman.
My miscarriage that had stopped growing at 9 weeks took about 3 weeks to come away, I had some fairly light bleeding which turned into a period like bleed, the actual miscarriage itself was really, really quick and not painful at all, it was as though everything came away within the space of about 15 minutes and was only left with light bleeding afterwards. If you start period like bleeding then I would stay close to a toilet.

You women are angels! So sorry for your losses, I can't believe how common it is!

I feel more prepared now for sure. I'll get loads of the biggest pads I can find.

I am so, so sorry.

I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive but here's a few practical things I've learnt and wish I'd been told. GP's words the first time were 'it will be just like a period'

Stock up on painkillers. Paracetamol, ibuprofen, codeine.
Hot water bottle/ wheat bag can help
Take as much time off work as you need, it is a big physical as well as emotional toll on your body.
For the worst part, set yourself up in the bathroom and wait it out. It could take a few hours. You want someone in shouting distance during this time.
You may bleed for several weeks, lots of comfy underwear and pads. Don't use tampons.
If bleeding or pain is unmanageable get to A&E.
Your EPU should monitor your Hcg levels. Don't be surprised if these take a long while to fall. A pregnancy test might not show negative for a few weeks.

Everyone's experience will be different. Take people up on offers of help. I found it so important to talk about my losses. Huge hugs xx

Thank you @putputput, I find it so comforting that other people have gone through the same thing (although I obviously don't wish this upon anyone else!). Will remember your advice, already stocked up on pads and painkillers, just hoping it won't be too bad (I know everyone experiencing it differently).

Hi @SunStruck. We chatted briefly on the mid-Dec thread. I’m so sorry for your loss, I went through the same myself this week. Had a private scan at what I thought was 7.5 weeks- the sonographer dated it at 6.4 but otherwise all looked well, very good heartbeat, etc. Then started with brown spotting last Wednesday which by Saturday had progressed to light red bleeding. Couldn’t get an appointment at the EPU until Monday when they confirmed the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 7.5 (I was 9 weeks by then according to my dates). Booked in for surgical management which was supposed to have been carried out yesterday however the bleeding got much heavier on Tuesday evening. Over the course of about 4 hours I miscarried naturally (confirmed yesterday by scan so thankfully didn’t need the surgery). The pain was definitely worse than period pains but bearable with paracetamol and codeine. In my experience it all happened very quickly, the bleeding was light for most of Tuesday then I suddenly got pain and an urge to push. There was lots of blood/clots/tissue but the vast majority was passed into the toilet over that 4 hour period. Since then I’ve had bleeding consistent with a heavy period which seems to be tailing off today. As mine happened so quickly I’m glad I was at home but others seem to report it taking longer so it’s hard to say whether it’s a good idea for you to travel or not. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes as well and as painlessly as it possibly can xx

@Jenny39 I remember you and thanks for writing, I am so sorry for you 😔 it sounds awful what you went through but at least it was fairly quick, and your body can go back to normal to hopefully try again soon. Apparently it seems to be slightly easier to get pregnant after a miscarriage, I hope there's some truth to that!

I hope we meet again in a 2020 thread soon 🤗

I am traveling (going to the airport now) and have brought lots of pads with me! thanks for all the advice.

Hi @SunStruck. Thank you and enjoy your holiday as much as you can. Definitely keeping fingers crossed for a 2020 baby! xx

Just to say I hope all goes well OP and so sorry for your loss. I suffered from recurrent miscarriage before having my DC and like you had one where the heartbeat stopped at 9 weeks. The heavy bleeding could take as much as a month to start. If you’re like me the pain won’t be worse than bad period cramps. You can absolutely manage it with paracetamol, hot water bottles, getting cosy, kneeling up and leaning forward, deep breathing through each cramp until it’s over.
That part for me lasted maybe six hours or less for each of my miscarriages. Hopefully you can be somewhere comfortable and peaceful, with everything you need around you. Be prepared to possibly see your embryo in a sac. I hope that’s not too much information. As I wrote on another board this evening, I was shocked the first time that happened to me, but ultimately found it gave me a sense of closure and understanding. After that in my other miscarriages I used a sieve to make sure I didn’t miss the embryo and sac, as it was sent for testing. You might not want to do that and if you are still away it might not be possible, but if you do, go for it.

Miscarriage is natural - I realised that during mine - and although it’s a loss and a disappointment it doesn’t have to be medicalised. Your body knows what to do. I hope it all goes okay for you. PM if you want to chat.

@ferntwist you are just too kind to share your story, I'm so sorry for your losses 😔 what did they find out when testing if you don't mind me asking?

Also would you recommend d&c rather than waiting as it can take so long to start? We want to try again ASAP so 1 month sounds so long to wait for this to happen and then for one period to start before trying(as was recommended by midwife).