Baby stopped growing at 9 weeks - What can I expect now please?

[SunStruck]

Hi guys,

Unfortunately my scan showed that the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks (should be 10 now). The midwife says natural passing is the best, and that could be anytime from now and 3 weeks time.

Can someone who has been in this situation advise me on what will happen next in terms of how bad it will be (painful and how much blood)?

I am going on holiday on Friday and for a week so very worried it will be really bad when it happens! I can't cancel as paid in full. Midwife advised me to not go and if I go be wary of where the hospitals are etc.

What can I expect? This is my first pregnancy and miscarriage.

Thank you for your reply and apologies I didn’t get on MN yesterday. With the pregnancy where the heartbeat stopped at 9 weeks the test found that the fetus was a normal male, so there was no immediate explanation for the miscarriage. With a previous miscarriage the same tests on the fetus (called the products of conception) had found a serious chromosomal abnormality incompatibile with life.
After the loss of the normal male pregnancy I was given a drug protocol by Professor Brosens at the Coventry Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic for my next pregnancy of steroids from week 6 to 12, blood thinning injections to week 12 (later extended to week 24) and progesterone pessaries. The drugs were no problem and my gorgeous DD is now sleeping beside me as I type this.

I would always recommend waiting for a natural miscarriage rather than a D&C, partly because of the risks of scarring from the procedure, which can lead to Ashermans and also because your body needs to get back into its usual hormonal cycle before you conceive again anyway. A D&C doesn’t really speed that up as it’s simply a procedure to cut away the remaining tissue. Your body needs to prepare to ovulate again before you have a natural period and then another fertile window.
I know it feels like forever when you’re dying to try again, but it does pass and you will get there. I highly recommend the Coventry clinic. You can be referred there from anywhere in the country on the NHS by your GP. The professors and nurses are wonderful and truly pioneering in their approach to miscarriage treatment.

P.S. I should probably also say that all of the standard recurrent miscarriage testing on me had came back negative (eg. for blood-clotting disorders), except for my third and final uterine biopsy at Coventry, which showed slightly raised Natural Killer Cells. Two previous biopsies had been normal. Most patients only have two biopsies but they gave me a third after my unexplained miscarriage of the normal male. It meant we had to wait another two months after the loss, which was agonising at the time, but is of course forgotten now we have our precious baby.
Hopefully you won’t have to have all these tests and will be expecting again soon.

@ferntwist thanks so much for sharing! Sounds so devastating to go through that, I'm so glad to hear you have a DC now 😄 yes natural is best I agree, I'll just wait it out!

Going through it was really hard but now we have our beautiful girl it’s all kind of disappeared from my mind. During those years I used to get such comfort from reading Mumsnet posts from women who had suffered recurrent miscarriage and had their rainbow baby (they always seemed to be typing while their DC were sleeping). I can hardly believe that now that’s me! I feel so blessed. I hope I can give someone else that hope now.
Anyway, don’t want to take your time on your holiday! So glad you’re waiting it out. PM me any time if you need to and same to anyone else going through miscarriage who has questions.

@ferntwist thank you, it definitely helps to hear other stories!! 😄 especially with happy endings.

I just got home from a good holiday and still don't feel anything! I have a scan tomorrow so I'll see what they say. Hopefully it will start soon 🤞 so this can be over with x