TFMR, first date given for surgical termination end of May. Is this normal?

[Happenedagain2017]

Last week we were given bad news at the scan. The hospital have just rang to say that the first date they can give me for a surgical termination is the end of May.

Other options are to go to a private clinic although the wait there is quite long too, or go for medical management, which they may be able to do sooner. I am terrified of the latter option, I know that is pathetic. It just seems so horribly traumatic. And I'm shit with pain, can't lie.

What should I do? I simply can't bear to be pregnant with a growing baby for another month. It's a special kind of torture. Is it normal to have to wait this long?

As previous thread says, this is my second TFMR in six months and I feel utterly broken by it.

Greedy

Happened sorry I used a shit term of phase there, of course it's not "over, over" I just meant the procedure.

It's my sons anniversary tomorrow it's two years on now. I think I'm struggling with the fact that I'm nearly the same gestation as when I lost him.

I lost two one boy at 19 weeks and my son at 24 weeks at a day old, it happened a year and a day apart. I gave myself two years to recover and touch wood this time round I will get a happy ending.

I still think talking through your feelings with someone impartial could help Happened.

Hi Unborn. Your losses are so very painful. I am so sorry and I will be thinking of you tomorrow. And sending you every good wish for your happy ending. You didn't use a shit phrase - please don't worry about that. I think when people have been through this themselves they can't say the wrong thing, which is why I feel safer talking here than IRL.

I went to see a counsellor today actually and just talked and talked. I think it does help. I sort of want somebody just to tell me what to do - in terms of trying again (that way, I know, true madness lies) or to say for God's sake, STOP!!!! Or just to tell me what's going to happen if I did. I am someone who always reads the last chapter of the book, because I enjoy the journey more when I know what the ending is. Not really an option here unfortunately. My DH says we already have our happy ending. I think maybe he's right but it's hard to let go.

On a lighter note, my sickness is starting to lift and I have poured myself a glass of wine. After one sip, I feel totally drunk. Not sure I like it. It makes me miss the baby more somehow. Sigh. Lots of love and strength to everybody.