Miscarriage at 6 weeks

[shopaholic85]

I lost my baby at 6 weeks yesterday. I went to hospital at lunchtime and by 5pm the miscarriage had 'completed'. So though it was painful, it was fairly quick.

I think I was in shock, so went into a kind of auto-pilot last night when I came home and thought I was coping. But I have been up most of the night crying and finding it hard to deal with a few things (TMI warning):

• I was clotting during the miscarriage and there were one or two large clots/ pieces of tissue. Was one of them by baby? If so, it means I flushed it down the toilet without saying goodbye. I think I would like to have buried the remains, but no one prepare you for what comes out.
• I didn't get to find out whether my baby was a boy or a girl. And I will never know.
• I am worried that other people won't understand how I feel because the baby was only 6 weeks. Maybe they are right? Maybe it's too early to grieve?

Please tell me how I am feeling is normal and that it gets better.

Sometimesithinkimbonkers

I am so glad to hear that news! I like to think that my loss was something that had a positive outcome.

Wishing you and you LO all the very best.

Dixie16, I'm so sorry for your loss Like you, the image of what I saw still haunts me. Its not sad or pathetic. I hope you are taking the time you need to heal.

It's been exactly a week since my miscarriage, and I still miss my baby. I feel angry when I look at my flatter stomach and feel my breasts, which are no longer swollen. I have brief moments when I forget, and then it hits me again, like a punch. Some days I feel energised and others I just want to stay in bed. I've had headaches, loss of appetite, a fever since it happened and I feel so weak. I was supposed to go back to work tomorrow but my gp has signed me off for another week.

My DH says that he sees more and more of my old self coming back each day. But I don't think I will ever be that person again. She thought nothing bad would ever happen to her and the new me knows that life is shit. I want to start ttc again but I'm so scared of loving and losing another baby.

Aww Shop...
Ive had a headache ever since the night before it happened...it hasn't left me yet.
I'm still feeling strange although much better than before.
How was your birthday? Did you get your plant? It must have been so hard for you before without your husband around.
Everywhere I look there seems to be pregnant women and newborns...I had a real strong feeling from the day I found out I was pregnant that I was having a girl, and I keep picturing a tiny newborn girl and feeling sad for what I've lost.
My boyfriend didn't want our baby in the first place, it was an unplanned pregnancy, and although he's been supportive throughout the miscarriage, he wasn't beforehand at all and is still adamant no babies. But since this happened it's awakened a need in me that I didn't know was there before and I really want to be a mum again. I don't know if that feeling will pass in time but right now I really want a baby.

Galway, I'm glad you're starting to feel better. I'm convinced ours was a girl too. It makes my heart ache picturing her little baby hands and feet. I'm sorry that you won't be ttc again. I think it is natural to want to fill the emptiness. Seeing pregnant women/ babies everywhere can't help. There's a new fertility advert that keeps popping up on my fb that is so insensitive. Bloody computer can work out from my searches that I was pregnant. Why can't it work out that I'm not anymore??

We actually bought a plant for my birthday. A small, beautiful one that the garden centre promised would live for a very long time. It brings me a small bit of peace looking at it. And then I got home and fell very ill with flu-like symptoms that lasted 24 hours. Odd. I have no idea what my body is doing at the moment.

Dettol* advert not fertility. Odd autocorrect

Hi. Hope I can join. I think I've joined every miscarriage thread there is! Just feel an overwhelming desire to speak to people going through same thing.

I miscarried last Tuesday with medical management ( same as you shop?) at 12 weeks. Scan on Monday showed that it had stopped growing at around 9 weeks. I bought a charity gift today a fruit tree and on the certificate put our nickname for baby along with last Tuesday's date. I'll keep that close to my bed. Never got a scan picture but hoping that when I go for a scan tomorrow to check everything has passed, I can ask them for a picture from last week.

I feel all over the place. Sometimes ok sometimes highly emotional and other times just angry. I think we just need to let ourselves feel what we feel but also keep in perspective and not let it take over our whole lives. As harsh as that sounds. I want something positive to come out of this. Even if it is just better appreciation for my mum who had 5 miscarriages. Life will never quite be the same again. But I'll never regret or wish this experience away, the feeling I got when I got BFP and the happiness on DH's face. I'm determined to get there again and bring my baby home X

Having come out the other side, I can honestly say that my miscarriages were the worst experience ever. Now, I have my son (13 yrs) and, as I say, I have come out the other side. I will never forget what I have lost.

Miscarriage is awful. Worse than awful.

I really feel for all of you going through this sadness.

Thanks for sharing orange - we should let the grief be what it is and not try to make it better or force ourselves to be better. I just know I have to accept this and look forward as well. I recovered from pancreatic tumour at the age of 21 had major surgery etc. I'm 26 now and only just felt ready physically to embark on this chapter and we were so looking forward to having something positive to focus on. DH is great but we were married 3 months when I was diagnosed and it did put a big strain on our relationship. As the nurse said to me at the Hosp, I can't let this put me off.. I kept saying how will I go through this journey again. The deciding when to TTC , the actual TTC, POAS, the highs and the lows.

I'm glad you got your plant, but sorry you felt poorly afterwards. That is strange.
I know what you mean about computer searches, Facebook keeps showing me suggested ads and it's mainly pregnancy apps and such
My sister is 6 months pregnant and has no idea that I was even pregnant, and no idea about anything that happened last week...which on one hand I'm really grateful for so that she doesn't have to get upset and behave any differently towards me, but on the other hand just feels a bit cruel that someone so close to me is enjoying what I want.
It's a strange mix of emotions I've had the past few weeks since finding out I was pregnant.
I'm really sorry for everyone's losses and sending you all love

That must be tough galaway I think if I was you I would tell her though. You might find She is just the support you need xxx

Galway, I agree with Melvali. I think you should tell your sister. I know you don't want to upset her, but I would want to know if my sister was going through this. It would break my heart if I found out months or years later x

Melvali - that must have been so stressful, re. the tumour.

I think that having a miscarriage does remove the 'innocence' of pregnancy. When I was pregnant for the first time, I simply didn't believe I would lose the baby. There was a tiny doubt at the back of my mind, but it didn't stop me from telling everyone my news soon after I found out and looking at prams etc.

My situation - recurrent miscarriage - is, fortunately, rare. It is, sadly, quite common to have one or even two miscarriages. You are far more likely to have a successful pregnancy next time than not.

I think I was just really unlucky.

What I would say is that having that hard won baby in your arms at the end of all the stress and worry makes it all so worth it.

Galway - yours is the situation most women who miscarry dread. It is very hard when someone close to you is pregnant when you have miscarried. If you feel up to telling your sister, it might be a good idea. It depends on your relationship with her. She may be helpful, she may not. f

I found being around pregnant women very hard. I remember returning to work after my first loss and attending a lunch where a heavily pregnant woman was smoking. I really, really resented her and couldn't help but feel angry. But that's how it is - you can't help your feelings.

Thanks all for your advice re my sister...we do get on well and I know she would be very sad to find out this at a later date, but she is also enjoying the special attention of 'being the pregnant one' which I wouldn't want to take away from her, because it is her first and she is the last of 5 sisters to get pregnant.
Ive told a few girls at work but I don't think anyone really knows how to react because I don't talk about my problems in the workplace normally and it's such a sensitive issue... I got very emotional out of the blue at work today and found it highly awkward because I didn't want anyone else feeling awkward! I just had to sort of shuffle around a bit, going in and out of rooms until I could take my mind off of it.
It really helps to come on here and talk to others who know how it feels...even though I feel sad for us all and wish none of us had to go through it. Thinking of all of you ladies...Xx

Galway, when you put it like that I can see why you don't want to tell your sister. I'm sorry you had to explain yourself again.
I find coming on here helps too. I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances.
I'm back at work next week and a bit nervous about crying in front of others. Hopefully by then I'll have more control over my emotions.

Yes, I'm surprised by how emotional I feel. And I feel guilty for feeling emotional too because I feel like it's uncomfortable for others to deal with me like this.
I hope that by the time you return to work that you feel stronger. I keep telling myself I won't always feel this way, but that it's healthy to let myself feel these emotions than try to suppress them and ultimately feel worse further down the line.

I also work in a nursery with babies which doesn't help.

Aw galway, it's helped me realise that it's normal to feel emotional when I've come on here. When I had surgery for pancreatic tumour a few years ago I was really strong but in hindsight I bottled it all up and it's taking me longer emotionally to get over it than it would've done had I been more open. So my number 1 rule is to sod everyone else and feel exactly the way I want to feel and talk about it openly xxx

Orange you sound so strong, hat off to you.. I loved your last sentence about it all being very worth it in the end

Melvali that sounds like a great number one rule...I'm going to make it mine too. I do feel like it's very important to allow yourself to feel what you feel if you know what I mean...too often I find myself thinking I should feel this or that, but you're right, I should just go with it and sod everyone else.
Thank you Xxx

I said that too soon.. My friend whom I know has had trouble conceiving has just told me that the docs said there only chance is IvF. I'm gutted for them but also feeling bad for myself that I need to keep the miscarriage in perspective and put all my negative energy into planning and TTC again no matter what the outcome. At least I know I can medically conceive X

Am 4weeks pregnant and have started bleeding seriously with clots, will go for a scan tomorrow but I just feel I have lost the baby, been crying all evening

Myoude, I'm so sorry...is this your first pregnancy?

Yes it is

Do you have anybody with you? Or is there anyone you can call?

Myoude, so sorry you are going through this. Hope there is someone there with tot X