Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

Hi all, I'm new here, or at least in the sense of.posting. I've been an occasional lurker for a while, and have found just reading these threads a big help, so thank you.

I'm 37, have had 4 losses in 2 and a half years - 12 (mmc @9), 9, 6 and 5 weeks. Also have a nearly 6 year old girl who is a wonder, and I often feel guilty for not accepting her as enough, for the disruption that keeping trying causes our family and for not giving her a sibling.

Am under Epsom and St Hellier (Mr Shehatas team), and am now pregnant again. Quite how far along I am is a tricky guess as I have irregular cycles, so anywhere between 5 and 7 weeks. My guess is 6.

As I know you will all understand, instead if feeling joy about the pregnancy I feel just about everything but - I'm constantly crying, feel angry, alone, terrified I'll MC again while also being so convinced I will just wishing it'll happen sooner rather than later so that it's dealt with. Feel like I'm going insane!!! Also feeling bitter hatred for my lovely husband who is trying his best but has no clue what to do as he can't put a foot right.

I'm sure that all of this is greatly exacerbated by the steroids, as I have had emotional and physical side effects from them when taken from ovulation. I've known the progesterone make me teary before too, so at least it all makes some sense!

Have a scan booked locally for 15th September, as they wanted to do it at 9 weeks so Epsom can book me in for 16 weeks. In my current state 3 weeks seems like an age away, and I feel I should ask to go in earlier, especially as theoretically may be 10 weeks by that time (though that is unlikely). Given the kerfuffle about my dates though I don't know whether scanning earlier might just cause me to panic more!??!!!

Sorry for such a lengthy, wingy first post! And thank you for the wonderful thread wishing us all a good day xxxx

Rubberduck ah it was you that I read about having same thing with cb. Thanks for the info that would make sense.

Mrsd thank you. And glad you are holding up ok, hugs. I have had flashing smiley before but think the main thing is to get the solid smiley. I feel odd having this and then actively not Ttc due to tests, like what if this is a good egg and I'm just letting it go? Or worse my last egg! Kazz I might see you at Coventry then as hoping to go next cycle too.

Minnie thinking of you today.

Gemima welcome and so sorry for your losses, but congrats on pg again. All those emotions you speak of are all normal, I have felt the same the guilt and everything re our ds. I really hope this time works for you and once your off the meds you'll feel better! I'm going to see Shehata today, pinning a lot of hope in him! We are also on a secret fb group if you're interested in joining? Big hug and glad the thread has helped. It's been a lifeline for me x

Welcome gemima, and sorry to hear about your losses. Glad you have a treatment plan this time and congrats on the bfp. I'm also pg on steroids and prog, as well as heparin, and definitely feeling all the emotions you describe, but mostly just feeling very detached at the moment. Hoping that will change slowly as i get further along. Hope you can find some support on here as you wade through treacle for the first few months.

ah thanks for the clarification March.

Finished early then! God knows which ill choose when it comes to testing again. don't want to think about it atm!

Thanks ladies, so comforting to know I'm not alone! Yes would love to join the fb group, who do I PM?

Best wishes with Shehata Emerald, and hugs to March and anyone else whose feeling on rocky seas ATM xx

Thanks Gemima it went ok yesterday, had 16 vials of blood taken!! Felt abit woozy after, get results in 2 weeks.
I can't remember who the admin were for fb? Think it was Bumble and Sasha am I right ladies?

If you pm me your fb name and a description of your pic gemima, i can friend you then add you to the group

emerald I think we all have similar worries when we have a break from ttc for whatever reason. For me the month off so I could go to Coventry was difficult but did me a world of good. Nice to have the pressure off in a way despite worrying a lot about missing a good egg.

Welcome gemima always hear good things about Mr S so I'm sure you are in good hands. Congratulations on the bfp.

Emerald, do you think you'd be able to put some info together about shehata and/or st marys for the info sheet? I'd like to get as many options on there as possible. Doesn't need to be immediately, it might be easier once you've got results and you can read what they've tested for. You could either add the info in yourself (do you have the login details for the rmcmumsnet account?) Or post here or fb and I'll add it in.

Kazz - this month i have bought the £30 quid cb digi ov tests which boadt that they can identify not just your two most fertile days but the four most fertile days of the month. Their symbols are as follows: circle for low fertility; flashing smiley for high fertility (this is supposed to flash for two consecutive days); static smiley for peak fertility (two more days). I liked the idea ad i thought it might take into account the 'run up' to ovulation, and if the ovulation day moves each month it would help with that.

Hi all, I am still having trouble loading thread. Stops at my post on 21st and jumps to 23rd! So sad to read your news Minnie I really hope you are doing ok.

I must go on the computer and load the thread properly and have a catch up. So anyone that replied to my post I will eventually get to read and respond.

I am quitting smoking tomorrow, I have been taking my folic acid for nearly a week and at the advice of my midwife friend, will start taking pregnacare as well as the folic acid.

I am finishing off my pack of pills, 14 days left. Then we will start trying, we never fall straight away so I am going to try my best not to obsess over testing etc. The consultant did say to wait until I was 4 days late to test, I can only imagine this is to avoid the detection of a chemical pregnancy and suffer heartache and the feeling of another loss.

Welcome to any newbies, sorry that you find yourself here but this really is a place of fab support and lots of people always willing to lend an ear. I have had some amazing support on this thread over the last few months and it is a saving grace from people in rl who really have no idea what to say to you.

freckles I'm considering buying one of those hope it works for you x

freckles I'm considering buying one of those hope it works for you x

freckles I'm considering buying one of those hope it works for you x

What the heck is going on there (I know its early but I def didn't post that 3 times!!)

Claire are you considering buying one?

Just noticed mn is back on line so have read up and marking my place to return to later as I need to get up now having failed to get back to sleep since waking at 3am .

Got our appointment with the private clinic this afternoon. Think it's been going round in my head as I haven't made my list of questions yet!!

The nurse who did my tests last week said I needed to put on weight as I'm under the recommended bmi. I don't weigh myself regularly but I'm half a stone lighter than I was last time, which I can only assume is due to the stress of the last ivf round and losing both embryos. I don't put weight on easily, and the sheet of 'lifestyle changes' they gave us tells me to eliminate sugar, bad fats and alcohol. I realise putting on weight is not about eating shit, but telling me to put on weight whilst stopping eating dessert is not going to be remotely possible!!! I already eat loads of carbs and protein, upping the amount of fruit I eat is not going to replace the calories I'd be getting from cake!!!

haha I might Helen!

Good luck for today's appointment I really hope you get the information you want/need.x

Ah...I am sighing with relief at being able to get back on the thread. I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to catch up on the fb group yesterday (and figure out how it works). It's great to have it but I like the methodical way I can read through here and hopefully not miss stuff.

gemima welcome, and I am so sorry to hear of your losses. Whispered congrats on your current pg. I totally relate to the guilt you feel about your DD and the continued stress and grief of mc. I have felt the same about DS, and at 18 weeks pg am still too scared to tell him. After 5 losses it's just hard to believe. I also felt very weird on pred for the first couple of weeks, then I sort of got used to it. Don't underestimate those messed up pg hormones either - plus the stress of knowing you have those scary scans coming up, I'm not suprised you're feeling so tense - it's horrible. Is there any way you can get a scan in about 10 days or something? It would still give you a good idea of how things are as you'd be either 6+ weeks or more?

barking that's really annoying about your weight. I don't put on weight easily either, though if I tried I think I could manage it! As you say, harder if you're not topping up on cake etc. Avacado's are about the most calorie rich healthy thing I can think of, and brazil nuts. I have a theory that people have a weight that is right for them - so if you are eating decent amounts of food and are still very slim, I don't think it matters as much as if you are very slim from starving yourself - just my theory. Frustrating for you though.

Barking** - surley that information sheet is a general one for those trying to concieve. They could never write "load yourself up on cake and refined sugar". How about drinking full fay milk and adding a few slices if bread and having pasta dinners?
Sadly i am at the other end of the scale. We should get together and you could be my personal trainer and i could cook for you and feed you up!

barking Good luck for your appointment today! I also have the opposite problem, I have to be very careful to keep the pounds off, pg or not. I've put on a lot of weight already, and I really want to not put on much more, starting to get worried about gestational diabetes.
I second what bootles and freckle said - avocados and nuts have lots of calories, as do pasta and rice (I'm getting hungry now!), but are still better for you than cake. But the stress is not going to help, and let's face it, you will keep on being stressed for quite some time! It's a tough one xx

spam Go girl! Fingers crossed that you get your sticky bean as soon as possible.

Ladies, if anyone would like my Clearblue fertility monitor, I am selling mine, drop me a pm if you're interested.
I also have loads of cheapie OPKs, which are free to a good home.

Quick question for those of you who have done heparin and progesterone, Coventry protocol says to stop at 12 weeks, did you stop just cold or taper anything off? Have emailed Prof B but no reply...

barking thinking of you for your appointment this afternoon. That sounds bloody annoying about the weight, not got any ideas really. I ate more nuts than I have ever eaten in my life prior to this preg and didn't put anything on at all. Healthy cake?!

barking Another thought - muscle is actually heavier than fat, could you adjust your fitness regime and start building muscle...? Ignore if that's completely off!

flen I don't know about heparin (need to take that until the end), but I have phased out the progesterone over quite a few weeks (was scared to let it go, to be honest!). I started with halving the dose for a while, and then ended up halving that again (which entailed me cutting up the bullets with a razor blade ) for another few weeks. I have had no problems with that approach, I think others here have done similar.

barking another slim Jim here (is that a saying or have I just made that up). Totally agree with bootles about us having a weight that's right for us. My family are all slim an it doesn't matter how much I eat (sorry ladies) I struggle to put weight on. I find I lose weight when I give up booze and only generally put weight on if I'm exercising a fair bit and building up muscle. Hope your appt goes well. And you sleep better tonight.

flen I stopped the clexane after my 12 week scan which was actually about 13 weeks then gave up the progesterone over a few weeks, lowering the dose a but as I went. More for psychological reasons than it will do anything bad. I don't miss those bum bullets one bit now! Or the jabs.

Good luck on the quitting smoking spam

Thanks ladies . Just had a really good meeting with the consultant, in there an hour and got through all my questions (I went in armed with a notebook and pen and ticked off and made notes on the full list ).
Obviously most of you ladies don't need to know about the ivf side of things but he gave us a lot of information about tests, including the Chicago tests, which might be of interest to some of you, so I'll type that up later when I'm on the laptop and add it to the spreadsheet .
You should have seen DH's face when he was given the quotation for the tests. And then the ivf. And then the ivf drugs separately... Best speak to the MiL tonight...