Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

Only just realised mumsnet is back up so have missed loads!

oneday hope your scan has been positive.

barking wow that's a lot to think about. No wonder your heads spinning. I can't see a problem with looking around for cheaper testing- it does look really expensive so saving a few pounds has got to be worth a go. I'm not sure about the nk testing either. If you're on the protocol anyway maybe it's not so important?

mimi I think prog can delay af a little. First cycle it took it from 7 dpo but only for about four days as I was sure I wasn't pg and hpts at 10 dpo and 12 were negative so I stopped taking it. Delayed my period for a couple of days but nothing major.

Welcome to all the newbies. Sorry you have to be here but everyone is lovely and very knowledgeable too. Hope you get the support you need from us all.

Sorry if I've missed anyone xx

Just checked the last page and realised I wanted to say monten I have ov'd in the wtf cycle following my second 6 weeks loss. I hardly had any bleeding once I passed the tissue and I ov'd about 14 days later. No idea why I was checking as we weren't trying but it is possible! Hope it's worked for you.

Meant to ask any one who's had medical management (march?) about my bleeding. Sorry! Last time I bled loads on the day but it settled quickly and I had no pain afterwards. This time I had hardly any on the day other than when I passed the baby and placenta. Now my stomach is really painful- I've had more codeine now than on the day and I'm bleeding more. Do you think this is normal for it to be different? When should I worry do you think? It's maybe because I've not really tested up this time- lots of walking and housework- while last time I did bugger all for three weeks!

Barking and Red I hope there is someone who can advise you and help you come to a decision about your questions. I wish I could be more help, but my experience is very limited. I hope you find some answers.

Thanks Mimi for the positive outlook on St Mary’s Manchester. Again, I am afraid I don’t know the answer about progesterone, because I haven’t made it to that stage yet, but I hope you get it sorted.

Minnie once again, I am useless and don't know the answer to your question, because all three of my losses have been natural. One required hospital admission for hemorrhaging but, otherwise, they came out on their own.

Sorry to write a post that basically says "I DON'T KNOW" over and over again – I just didn’t want people to think I wasn’t reading and thinking about their posts. I know you will all find answers from the wealth of knowledgeable ladies on here.

As for me, I have some good news (and I am sorry for those of you who aren’t in great places right now and will find that hard to read – I know from experience exactly how you feel and I am sending you hugs). Today, my doom and gloom radar got it wrong for the first time since my journey began (looking back I think I was perhaps trying to protect myself and prepare fully for the worst) and... we saw a heartbeat for the first time ever in four pregnancies! The little thing is measuring at 9 + 2 (2 days over what I thought but I’m not complaining). I know it is VERY EARLY DAYS and I promise I am keeping a clear head, but for those few seconds I saw a heartbeat, I was the happiest I have been in 18 months. I will take that little heartbeat, for today – even if it all goes wrong – because I think it’s important to celebrate the victories, however fragile.

Thank you for your support, ladies. I really felt it today in the waiting room - almost physically - and it made such a difference. Flen, March, et al, you’ll be happy to know I wore my favourite pants (not foxy, but favourite nonetheless)!

Flen thank you for this information I've had a look www.midlandfertility.com/ . I wonder if it was red asking about services in the Midlands?

This seems pretty comprehensive, I like that they'll do an initial assessment. The problem I find we're having is things are really fragmented:

• We were under the Gynae clinic at our local hospital - they're happy for me to refer myself to EPAC/EPU when needed

• We were discharged after blood tests, and no chromosomal abnormalities on the mmc last year
• We then saw a Consultant privately who prescribed progesterone for the next pregnancy
• We saw Mr Gazvani (on recommendation of the above) for the uterine biopsy/NK cell testing (this came back normal)
• Mr Gazvani suggested trying progesterone, clexane injections and high dose folic acid (we did the progesterone and folic acid this time - our current loss) - I didn't mention my OH also had testing for DNA fragmentation (again normal)

We're then back in the hands of the NHS for early scans - the trouble is then they don't fully understand the tale, and ask why I've been referred.

So the services at www.midlandfertility.com/ are appealing.

Has anyone used this? Is it connected with Prof Quenby's work? Is this different to the services at Coventry?

Trouble is (similar to red's concerns about distance) I live a long way from the Midlands (we live in the North East), not sure how this would work long distance. Again don't know if anyone has experience of this?

In the North East we have the Centre for Life which is linked to the local hospital. However they are so geared up around IVF (they practically throw money at IVF) but I've not been able to find any way in for recurrent losses up to now; I've had one registrar tell me really people only go there after 9 or 10 losses. (This was a 9 year old registrar - any urgency not on the radar!)

I also wanted to ask if anyone has experience of using services of Marilyn Glenville? We have been using her supplements to some good effect re conceiving and I find her book very straightforward and useful.

oneday!!!!!!! Brilliant news xxxxxxxx

oneday that is fantastic news! So pleased your radar was very wrong! 9+2 is a great reason to feel positive x

Gosh hels, sorry yes, I think I did mean it for red. I think there are strong connections with Coventry and also with Mr Gazvani who apparently used to work with Prof Quenby.

oneday wooooohoooo!

march and tiny these are the things that REALLY make a difference, not all that "medication" shenanigans....

Oneday great news!! Hb and measuring 2 days ahead are great signs

Oneday so pleased your radar was way off! :) Great news!

Ladies - I feel like I'm hogging the thread these couple of days but an afternoon in the house on my tod and OH at work tonight, means my mind is on this all the time.

I'm off work - I've never needed a sick note in my life- I'm going to have to get one I don't even know how! Sure I can work it out;).

With previous losses, I've kind of powered through. But this time I'm waiting for something to happen naturally after the bad news at our scan a few days ago. My colleagues know the situation and they'll be fine but I know there'll be others asking where I've been - can I punch them? Probably not.

I thought I could wait it out, naively perhaps I thought my body would do its thing. Like others, I thought that would be more empowering and I'd feel more in control. I had an ERPC last year (our 4th loss), and it felt like a bit of a 'yank' if that makes sense, within a couple of days I was back in the office. The whole thing then hit me later.

I went to counselling eventually after tears in the office (not like me at all, but my boss was being completely unreasonable which was what set me off and they suggested the counselling - erm yeah). Not something I ever thought I'd do, I'm a pretty private person, but it was the right call.

So I took advantage of it - I only had a couple of sessions and I think it did help if anyone else is thinking about it. It helped me to work through my anger, particularly my frustration at how other people handle this, or how insensitive they can be. If they don't know how I feel, how can they stop it? Good point I thought.

Anyway, I'm yoyo-ing on what to do. I keep thinking I can feel cramps - but then nothing happens. My boobs still hurt from time to time and my appetite is off kilter which is disconcerting. I want to say goodbye to this little one.

Perhaps I'm in a better place to deal with this time and I just need to bite the bullet and do the ERPC - the wait is driving me a little loopy. I've asked for an earlier review appointment with the EPAC - first step done.

Hi hels sorry you're going through such a shit time again. Have you considered medical management this time? I can't comment on Erpc as I've never had one and I know everyone who's had one has generally found it the easiest option. I wanted to feel a bit more in control though (I'm a bit of a panicker when I'm not the one in control about major health things- not cracking for MC obvs!) Anyway my last two mcs have been medical management as a day patient in hospital. The nurses were fab both times and I found the experiences pretty manageable (as long as I kept on top of pain relief). It also meant we could have testing done which is something I definitely wanted. Not sure if that's on your radar but I just thought I'd let you know about an alternative to ERPC or waiting it out naturally (I've done that twice too but the bleeding had started before any scans so didn't need to wait it out). Hopefully it'll start for you and then you won't need to make the decision. Big hugs Xx

Forest of all just wanted to say YAY!!!! Top oneday. Never been more pleased to hear that someone was wrong (in the nicest possible way). Yes, still a long way to go, but a really big milestone after a good 9 week scan. I'll add you to fb too xx

mimi, welcome back. Sadly yes,the prog will almost certainly delay your af. Mine never came til 3 or 4 days after stopping. The coventry clinic's advice is stop at 14dpo if it's a bfn. It's a bitter pill when you've got your hopes up .

hels, really sorry you're still waiting for things to happen. With my first mc i also tried to let it happen naturally, but cracked after 2 hellish weeks over Christmas where i was still throwing up with hyperemesis every day. Have you considered medical management? Completely understand the need to let your body do is own thing, but it might be a good compromise to get things going. If you don't fancy that then i suggest some energetic walking/hill climbing. I know it's the absolute last thing you'll want to be doing, but it really can help to get things going.

I was going to say re Liverpool that i thought i remembered prof q working there previously and then being down with the program about her protocol, so that sounds right. It's disappointing that they haven't diagnosed anything with the nk cells. Perhaps the heparin would help though, if you got there again.

minnie, all my mcs have varied, but the two with medical management I've bled for bloody ages afterwards (8 weeks after the sac passed with the first and 7 weeks after the second). But then i actually don't think my body responded too well to the drugs, as i had to have it twice the first mc and then the other one, it didn't work for 5 days (so was effectively a natural but started off by the drugs ) i suspect both times i retained products as both times i had stop start bleeding. The second one in particular had stopped almost completely then suddenly i was gushing red with clots again and pain (sorry if tmi). Follow up scan showed nothing left, but i suspect that was the last of it coming out. Hcg was still 100 at that point, so they said that was probably what happened.
If you've done more today then I'd definitely say that could be doing is job to expel the last bits. Are you testing negative yet? I would give it 2-3 weeks after mc and if you're still testing positive then phone for advice. They might get you in for a follow up scan to make sure it's all gone. Just so sorry you're going through this xx

hels Oh and I felt I was able to say goodbye to the babies a little better too as I was able to see them (though I appreciate that it's not for everyone) x

Thanks march last time I didn't bleed for very long at all, maybe 3 weeks but this feels very different. Sort of constant cramping but now the bleeding has stopped a bit. Hardly any clots at all either here or at hospital which I'm a bit concerned about as surely there should be some. I'm just worried everything is clogged up or I'm going to end up back in hospital once school has started. My boss would be majorly pissed off if that happened!

I know it's not always as simple as this, but fuck what your boss thinks!

Thank you girls, you help more than you know! minnie i'm so sorry you're going through this again.

Medical management scares me a bit but glad experiences have been manageable i will keep it open as an option!

The ERPC is not as bad as i thought it would be and for the rest of the day you're in a trippy haze which for 24 hours i hesitate to say is pretty good! Until you sober up, but there is relief.

Erm yes i absolutely second that...it doesn't matter a tiny rat's ass what your boss thinks. It is pregnancy related they should know the law on it. You have particular protections in statute. And besides as a bloody human being they need to suck it up and get on with it..you are xx

march i really do not know where you found the strength to do that for two weeks with those symptoms, you're a marvel.

Good to know re Liverpool it may give me a lead :)

And i really want to get back to exercise!!

Thanks again guys xxx

one day amazing news!!!!!!!!!!!!

hels I did medical management in one of mine as I didn't want an erpc again and nor did I want to wait (possibly weeks) for a natural.lime Minnie, I actually found it helpful to go through the process and see what I passed, though also appreciate it's not for everyone. Hugs.

Minnie after my naturals/medical management, I had bleeding that increased until I passed the pg, then it slowed down - bled for about 2 weeks I think, mainly only spotting in the second week. Pain also decreased after passing the pg. If you're still in pain it is maybe worth monitoring for a few days and considering getting checked out. Hugs.

monten, entirely possible - I have been lucky in that my cycles have generally remained pretty regular, and I have ov pain in WTF cycles, then a period on around CD 28-31. Hugs.

I have been getting cramping for a couple of weeks, which worries me. However cervix, urine, and pg all checked, so Dr says I probably have an 'irritable uterus'. I'd really rather my uterus was a happy thing.

Hello all...finally back on after all the mn hacking drama!

onestep that's brilliant news, how lovely! So glad your radar was wrong!

barking glad your app went well and there are further options about testing etc. Although I can see there's a lot to think about and take in. I'm sure your MIL will continue to be supportive (if she can) even if it's a bit more expensive than she first thought. Also please don't refrain from telling us details of the ivf side (as Bootles said), I think it helps us to better understand what you (and others) will be going through and therefore help us to be more supportive.

flen I stopped clexane and progesterone at 12wks, no weaning. I think the placenta produces progesterone from about 10wks before completely taking over by 12wks so by then you definitely don't need the pessaries. I was only concerned there may be some withdrawal effects such as bleeding, depression etc but I've had none. The only thing I've noticed was a reduction in bloating.

Welcome to the newbies! Hope you get all settled in here, it is such a lifeline to so many.

Good luck with quitting smoking Spam. From what I've read I'm sure you'll have the strength to see this through.

Still thinking of those in shitty places at the moment. xxx

hels with my last I had a bad scan and had to wait a week to confirm and in that time it happened naturally. Not much advance warning (eg cramps) just started bleeding and next day it happened. Wasn't too bad. I've had erpc's before and (assuming wtf cycle isn't too bad) I feel like this way has been much kinder on my body. No hormone crash and actually seeing the 'baby' did give me closure.

I went to see a therapist after my dad died and found it enormously helpful. Like you I didn't think I was 'that' sort of person but it was great. I'd recommend it to anyone. I'm going to go back and see him when I get back from hols. Third loss and now best friend pregnant is more than I can handle on my own.

minnie how is the pain? I would def get it checked out if it's worrying you.

I had a terrible night. Just up in the middle of the night getting so ANGRY. We've been ttc-ing for 2.5 years now. And here we are, still not even out of the starting blocks. It just feels so unfair. And what a waste of time! We could have done some amazing travelling in that time but instead we wasted it stuck in the ttc / mc limbo. I lay awake thinking about what it would be like to watch my best friend have her baby if I'm still stuck here and I just don't know how I will deal with it. Feeling really really shit today.

Ps what is the etiquette about this place and FB? I feel ridiculous posting same message twice but some people are only on FB now?

Monten sorry you've had such a bad night. It's so hard not to let this put the brakes on living your life. We try to make plans anyway - I'm currently stripping wallpaper - its something at least!

Absolutely sounds like the sensible thing to do see the therapist, you do well to recognise it in yourself and it will help you to deal with it when it happens - come to think of it, it was shortly after my sister told me she was (somewhat unexpectedly) having her second, that I went to see the counsellor.

Its a really tough thing to contend with when its someone close to you. But you will be okay. The counsellor helped me to see a few things and actually it helped my relationship with my sis - I think I was in danger of shutting her out without realising. And I love her kids, I don't want to miss out on that.

My hubby just had to persuade me to get out of bed bless him - now I'm up I have a mental list of things to do just to not think about this!

And that was my thinking on doing it naturally that it wouldn't be so harsh on my body, and 3 of mine have been natural anyway so I kind of know what to expect - but mentally the uncertainty is tough going. I'm actually missing work and my normal routine.

I feel like I coped pretty well up to number 4 - number 5 was a statistic I never thought we'd get to, its pretty much unthinkable. But then it's happened. Unfair is definitely the word, for all of us in this boat, and don't beat yourself up about feeling angry, its entirely natural xxx

Sorry you had a bad night monten. things always seem worse when you are tired,which doesn't help. You're absolutely right, it's totally unfair and shit. And a big waste of time. I'm hoping once this is all over we'll be able to take some positives out of the experience (like the strength we've gained/discovered), but i find it hard to take any positives at the moment.
I think it's perfectly normal to be worried about how you'll react to your friend having her baby but glad you're getting help with it. I really think the best way to handle these things is to keep talking about it. I didn't do enough of that and friendships have suffered.
I've been speaking to my counseller a lot about my guilt over not seeing my two friends babies (who were born on the due dates of mc2 and mc3) until they were 5 months and 2 months respectively. She has been trying to get me to let go of the guilt, but it's hard, as i know i caused the change in our friendship by retreating.

I know exactly what you mean about the 5 thing hels. I first joined this thread after 3mcs and saw that other people had had 5 and just thought 'poor things', never for a second thinking that would be me. How wrong i was.
Had my booking in with the mw yesterday. I was quite emotional as it was the same mw I had for dd and had also booked in with for mc1. Had to go through my history and when she seemed to be wrapping up after 3 mcs i had to correct her and tell her I'd actually had 5. Cue gasp from the medical student she had in with her. Felt too weird discussing things about the birth. Not even remotely ready to consider getting that far yet.

oneday fab news!! So pleased for you.
March in answer to your question awhile back yes of course will update the spreadsheet I once have my results back from Shehata sept 16. I did post on fb the price list from St Marys don't know if you saw it? Someone else beat me to it with Shehata! Hope you can get the info so far from there.
Sorry been off here awhile since the whole hacking drama and only posted in fb. Just touching base though as now off on our holiday for two weeks. I'll probably lurk but I'm going to try and have a break from all the MC stuff if I can ready for round two when we get back.
Waves to everyone and hello to newbies xx

Hiya! In majorca - bit can't help reading and just want to message minnie* - still sending you love and strength, i havn't forgotten, and monten - sorry your feeling the rage. I support your range...grrrrrrrrAAAAAARRRRGGGGhhhh! Love to you. Xxx and onestep* goodgoing and congrats! Betta go, dh in shower...he will tell me off! Mn like a fag on the balcony!!!! Naughty! Xxxxxxxxx to all!

monten MiL had never mentioned their difficulties before, it was all very strange. DH basically found out some stuff this week that was quite upsetting, but even though I don't know anyone on here in RL, it feels like breaking a confidence to say anything. It's all related to his parents struggling when ttc though, so suffice to say she's probably got a better understanding than most.

Re fb etiquette - post what you want, where you want . Those who have something to say will comment, those who don't won't . My own feelings are that coming on here is like joining a conversation, it feels rude to ignore anyone (this is just me, I don't apply the same expectations to anyone else!) so I always want to try and reply to everyone. However, this does take quite a lot of time, which I don't always have, so sometimes I end up reading but not posting, then the next time I post it takes even longer... But on fb it's like a room full of people and you're wandering round dipping in and out of conversations. It doesn't feel rude to not comment on a post as you might have walked past that conversation and not been a part of it (ie it didn't come up in your newsfeed and there's no expectation that you've scrolled back and read every post and joined every conversation at the same time, as that would be ridiculous).
If it helps, I'm about to post the same thing on here as I have on fb .

And on the getting angry thing. You SHOULD be angry. Being angry with your situation is totally normal, anything else would make you a freak. I am VERY with some of the choices I made based on ttc. We could have applied for teaching jobs abroad, gone travelling, moved house, all things that were in the pipeline but put off when we entered the slow train that is fertility treatment on the NHS. We could have ttc for a year, gone travelling for year, moved abroad for a year and still come back and been going through IVF right now! I actually wish they'd found something wrong with DH after we'd been ttc for a year - if his sperm was dodgy but I was okay, chances are we'd have had ICSI and I'd have a two year old right now .

Flen I am a total stripe addict. Love anything stripy. My wedding dress was stripy (if that doesn't out me to anyone who knows me nothing will )

MimiDoddrioni progesterone has always held off AF for me and mc's

minnie I hope the bleeding has finished and you're feeling more comfortable
I'm on heparin for factor v leiden, but I'm not on prednisolone, which is what would be prescribed for the nk. I've had the biopsy which was clear, and I know the blood test is different, but is it worth £670?!

one day Amazing! I'm so glad you were wrong .

hels how are you doing today? Did you make a decision on the ERPC?

bumble and bootles When I've got my head around the testing I'll bore you with the details of the IVF . Don't say you weren't warned...

And this is the repeat of what I've also put on fb, so feel free to give up at this point if you've managed to read this far .

Thank you to everyone who has given me advice over my testing decisions so far. This is my current thinking -
a) as far as my internet research tells me, Chicago is the birthplace (no pun) intended of all the immune stuff, and still where all the level 2 bloods are sent. In the UK, Dr G at Care in Nottingham worked closely with the Chicago dr (Beer?) and Dr Shehata is the other name always mentioned. We're with Care, just not in Nottingham (where there's usually a massive waiting list anyway) so our consultant has worked with Dr G and follows the same procedures so that's good enough for me.
b) We could go somewhere that would give me the pred and the intralipids anyway, but they aren't without risks and the Care clinic is walking distance from our house, and close to my office as well. It also has a car park. This sounds ridiculous, but there isn't anywhere else in our city apart from the NHS clinic that I never want to go back to (they also do private patients) and the private clinic that didn't give me gas and air for the horrible biopsy, which sends their patients to the NHS/private clinic for bits of the treatment anyway, so I don't want to go anywhere else unless there's a really good reason - the convenience of it reduces a lot of stress around work and travel when going in during the cycle.
c) ARGC doesn't do immunes for patients who aren't having IVF with them anyway (although I'm not sure how they could force you?!)
d) Doing it all the long way round would take longer as well as add to the stress, and I don't know yet how the clinic would react to us side stepping them (when he quoted us over £1000 for the drugs and I asked if we could source them ourselves he didn't say no but he kept going on about how potentially stressful that could be, and what if I ran out etc.) even if we make a decision this weekend, we've probably missed the boat to start in mid September by the time we've had the bloods done - and we'll be doing long protocol this time, so that then jumps to November/December being the month it will all happen, and that would mean an August baby which would be simply awful (I'M JOKING!!! What I mean is the consultant told us we could start immediately if we wanted to - ie in 2 weeks, so Nov/Dec is far too far away for my impatient mind)
e) On the other hand it's MiL who has offered to pay for this, and I feel like I should be travelling round the country/posting my blood to the US myself if that's what it takes to get the costs down.
f) Oh, and I'm also considering the hidden infections test with Serum... (haven't told DH about that one yet).
Argh!!! No closer to making a decision and any thoughts very welcome!! Especially on the nk cells - if you'd already had a clear biopsy, would you go for the blood test as well?

Bless you hels and march for reaching 5 and still standing. You are stronger than I. I know what you mean about watersheds tho. My first was a TFMR and I was assured Edwards syndrome was so rare it wouldn't happen again. The MC after that felt like taking one for the team. The year wait to fall pregnant and then the MC again just felt like a kick in the stomach, like there was no sense to it anymore.

How are things hels? Have you tried raspberry leaf tea?? It's supposed to improve uterine circulation and bring on AF so might help??

That must have been tough seeing the same midwife again march. Whilst unprofessional of the student nurse for gasping in shock, I actually find it quite comforting when people express shock/horror about what's happened. Like they consultant who put her hand on my leg and said 'you've had a really tough time haven't you?'. I burst into floods of tears but it felt so GOOD, YES I have had a fucking shit time, thank you for acknowledging that!

Interesting what your counsellor said about letting go of your guilt. My therapist was quite into that too. His big thing was being kind to yourself. It sounds a bit woo now but he talked a lot about parenting your inner child. It sounds so wanky when I say it but it made so much sense when he explained it.

barking I'm afraid I know nothing about nk cells and other tests. All I will say is, if it was me, keeping things simple and stress free would be by number one priority. Local and all in one place would trump cost for me. I have no idea about your mil's finances but if you're talking about several thousand pounds, I would rather pay a few hundred more for all the tests I wanted and to have it all done in one place. That's just me though, convenience has always trumped price! Probably why I'll never be rich...