Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 20 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[barkingtreefrog]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Yeay Barking - That's one big step forward. Will be holding my breath till Thursday/Saturday.

Counting Really thinking of you.

Brummie - More hugs. I agree your fortunes will turn soon. But enough already!

Flen. Sympathies - thrush is rubbish. I've found mine has cleared up a lot since I have been on this low GI diet. Probably irrelevant to you but thought I would mention just in case.

brummie I'm so sorry about your cat. We take these lovely things into our lives and they are so part of the family. I've had my oldest pooch 10 years this year. He's seen me through everything. Big hugs

barking wowee! I'm rooting for those lucky 7 and hoping some can be freezes.

biscuits glad you survived the car parking at Coventry. I might have tried to leave the car park the wrong way round the one way system... Hope you found it a useful visit

I should be doing chores. Back to ttc this week. Is feeling very pressured and we both feel it. Only cd 11 and think I've been ov around CD 16. Going to be a long week.

brummie I am so so sorry about your lovely cat. They are such companions, especially if they are with you for such a long time.
It's nothing to do with you, like someone else said, it's just a sh*y coincidence. So much loss and grief everywhere and all the time.

counting Thinking of you and sending lots of good scan vibes xxx

barking Super-eggs! Long may they continue on their successful development!

Well, all that stuff I said in my last post about feeling happier and more content? Blabla.. Any feelings of content and happiness got blown to smithereens by AF's unexpected arrival yesterday - 4 days too early, WTAF
I was expecting her, but this early?! Making this my shortest cycle ever, 21 days. Trying not to be all doom and gloom, but I have never had this, and I am really stressing out about my cycles getting shorter.
Then I read this stupid thread about what's your cut-off date for having children, and some posters made some very judgemental and hurtful comments about women over 40 having children (I know I shouldn't have read it) - one of them actually asked 'Why would you want to be an old mother?'! Some people really don't get it... I shouldn't get angry about this, but I am - I really thought that people would be more accepting and tolerant these days. I don't want to be an 'old' mother, I just want to be 'a' mother - big difference, age has nothing to do with it! Grrrr
On top of it all, work are being s* today - I have let my managers know that I am really struggling with my workload and could really do with some help. Their response? We noticed you don't seem very happy, but everyone else is also really busy, working evenings and weekends, no help until the second half of the year, oh, and here is another urgent project for you, which has to start next week! Errr...thanks!

Think I need to go for a run tonight. Followed by copious amount of eye-candy TV (Musketeers & Poldark). Otherwise, I'll just fall into the wine and chocolate!

(rant over - sorry!)

Cloud you are a braver, more restrained women than me. I couldn't bring myself to read that thread. Saw it, but refused to open as I would not have been able to restrain myself.

I don't need some silly cow telling me at 38 I'm too old. Fuck right off is my answer

Nope I didn't open that thread either. I knew what was likely to be inside. Thing is if you had your kids in your twenties 40 does sound horrendously old!!

I can't find that thread! I wouldn't normally go near any other thread on mn unless it's something light hearted on telly addicts or something, but I'm in a fighty mood and wouldn't mind putting a couple of my thoughts on there

Hope you're ok counting.

7 runners?! Woohoo barking, that's brilliant. Hope they continue doing so well. Sounds like you've got a good bunch there

Thinking of you counting

I'd hoped to have had my children by the age of 35, but only because DP is older than me. I would never have judged anyone else for their choices, and have now revised upwards, so obviously it wasn't that important!
It's such a shame we can't all be so perfect as those who meet the right partners before their 30s, manage to be financially and emotionally secure enough to have a child, and then conceive effortlessly - life going exactly to plan since age 7. Thank goodness those people are on Mumsnet to tell us how wrong we've got it. So helpful.

longest we are doing low GI too! (I have at one stage had a diagnosis of PCOS which then got retracted but doing low GI just in case!) I have had thrush in the week before ovulation both of my previous cycles. It's like it's always there lurking and then gets worse again. I have had this recurrent thrush before, it is jolly annoying especially when affecting sleep etc.

pop They are doing a full blood count and checking glucose and iron. I have also had angular chelitis (sores round my mouth - most attractive) and weird tooth sensitivity...

barking that is GREAT, hooray!

cloud it is SO bewildering when cycles are mental, I do feel for you. And those women are just blinkered, ignorant of existences outside their own. You are you and your story is yours.

I also know someone like that in real life - so relieved not to be an older parent because "children of older parents are withdrawn". Unlike hers one of whom is the most withdrawn child I've ever met.

So hope all is well with Counting.

Flen - good luck with it! I have found cutting out sugar to be relatively painless (takes a bit of willpower and I would have struggled without a proper reason but skipping pudding and switching breakfast doesn't really impact on your life) but the carbs aspect is trickier, esp when out and about. Luckily I don't seem to be overly sensitive to those and can eat more or less normally and still get OK blood sugar readings as long as in small portions with high protein snacks in between. I find if I don't expect my meal to last me through till the next one it is easier to stop at a small portion and I think I am actually losing some weight. I certainly feel better - my eye infections, mouth ulcers and thrush have all cleared up. I wish I had tried it when ttc.

Yes, thrush seemed to centre around ov time for me too - and now more often in pregnancy. My main symptom before pregnancy was that DH seemed to be allergic to me around that time!

Boo to sucky judgmental threads. Ignore. There's always some reason to sneer at other's parenting decisions and reproductive story.

longest I had wondered about the impact of sugar, but I have cut out alcohol, bread, cheese, chocolate, I don't know if I could cope with sugar too!!! In my second pregnancy I had horrific thrush all the way through, so I do wonder if it's something that's hormonally triggered for me. Ovulation is just such a crap time for it to strike! The doc said that I need to do a swab and get it tested to make sure it is actually thrush, then he may put me on a four week pill regime, but we couldn't be ttc in that time (of course that is exactly when I wanted to resume ttc...!) so we will see.

I honestly find this forum pretty horrendous on the whole for judgemental posts and the sneerily perfect brigade. I only joined two years ago because I wanted to join the 'TTC whilst breast feeding' thread I found via google. Women can be particularly spiteful and this forum is a good example of the worst side of women. The TTC boards are lovely and I think there are some rounder fly people posting on the bereavement threads but my god AIBU is just fucking rude and I can't help but wonder just how happy the regular posters to that board actually are IRL.

• rounder fly - really lovely!!

Totally agree Sebs, was on a thread the other day where a pregnant woman had overheard her DP say something, jokingly, about another woman.
He was an idiot for saying it, but some comments were that she should leave him, they couldn't put up with a disgusting person like that, maybe she's not 'marriage material' unlike the woman he was talking about etc. Really nasty and I felt so sorry for her. Bet she wished she'd never asked.
Also think if you set out to hurt someone like that you're probably miserable IRL.

If you'd asked me at 25 I'd have said I wanted to complete my family at 35, 3 children, perfect 2 yr gaps. I know now life isn't always like that. It's absolutely none of my business when or how anybody else has their family anyway. My cousin had twins at 47 and they seem blissfully happy.

Here, I am. Thanks all for your thoughts.

It went fine. The embroyo has grown, but still no heartbeat and it's still only measuring 5wks3! The consultant showed me the pics compared to a fortnight ago and assured me that the amount of growth was within normal for a fortnight and assured me that measurements are v approximate at this early stage.

Turns out last time it measured 4 weeks but when they said 4/5 I ignored the 4 because. Well because.

So the headline is it has grown a bunch in a fortnight. And I have another scan in a week. Phew. I think this is a reasonable outcome. Especially because I feared I would be facing something awful now so I feel like I have been bought a week's reprieve (crazy way my brain works).

She also gave me a very helpful letter thanking my GP for continuing to prescribe levothyroxine so no more battles for me.

Thanks again, angels of mine. Xx

counting phew, what a relief! Good that you only have a week to wait this time as well. Hope you have a lovely relaxing evening

Oh counting I am pleased for you. That is good. And now only a week to wait! (Only! Ha!)

Biscuits what bollocks. Don't all the studies show that older parents statistically produce very happy and successful children, as they're more likely to be financially stable before embarking on parenthood? Not that that means younger parents can't be in a good place to bring up children too!

Flen - I don't really know but PCOS can be linked to insulin resistance. If you do have this (and you might not, whether or not your PCOS diagnosis is correct) then it's glucose that your body would struggle with, as well as high GI carbs that release glucose into your system quickly. Gestational diabetes means I have to avoid all added sugar and fruit juice and be careful with high GI carbs like white bread, potatoes and white non-basmati rice, but wholewheat bread, most types of pasta in moderation, oats, basmati rice and most fruit are low GI and, weirdly, your body copes with carbs better with protein than on their own so, for example, toast and peanut butter or eggs is better than just toast. The key is to eat mostly veg, some protein and some low GI carbs (at most 1/3 of a plate). I therefore do eat wheat and cheese. This is for gestational diabetes, where it's obviously much more important that I stick quite rigidly to the diet as high blood sugar can affect the baby. I very much doubt I would have been able to stick to it if the dr hadn't advised this in quite strong terms, but seeing what a difference it has made to my general wellbeing means that if I were ever to ttc again (really hoping not to!) I would give it a go, even if it was in a lighter touch form and involved cutting down on sugar rather than cutting it out altogether. My dr said my fasting glucose levels were fine and didn't therefore think there was a link between my PCOS and the miscarriages but actually my fasting levels are still fine even now but they spike when I eat even high carb meals so I dread to think what they'd do if I did have sugar. The eye infections and thrush connection makes me wonder if I did have a level of insulin resistance even before pregnancy and, obviously, I am now jumping to conclusions and blaming it for my long cycles, relatively slow conception rate and miscarriages...

Anyway, totally up to you as I very much doubt I would have stuck to it without the medical imperative but just thought I'd share in case trying it was a preferable alternative to the meds/delaying ttc.

counting crossed posts. That's really good news! Fingers crossed for next week.

Go barking. Go barking's eggs.

Sorry brummie for your loss. You are well overdue some good news lovely.

I'm celebrating my 'so far so good' with toad in the hole.

What judgemental tosh generalising about older parents. (I don't know who is saying it but I'm outraged). People do talk nonsense online.

popandcry a friend did exactly the same to me (butted in with comments about how she conceived the next cycle after her mc, while holding her baby) she probably thought she was being supportive. It felt self-congratulatory from where I was sitting. Grrr.