Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 19 - tests, treatment, trying again.

[bythesea82]

Buckle up, the threads move like lightening! Tea, sympathy, information, support and combined wisdom to guide you through the maze of testing and treatment for recurrent miscarriage. Newbies always most welcome.

Please start with the traditional recap of your stats.

Thanks all - all really good advice again :) will look into it all! What do they do in the anxiety trial out of interest? My anxiety gets out of control (just in terms of the symptoms...beating heart, feeling sick, worry, panicky etc) during the last two miscarriages and I do wonder whether it is causing a hormonal imbalance - there is a cortisol progesterone hypothesis before the placenta kicks in that could potentially be an issue for me (as could other things)....so interested to hear how they treat that one. I tried myself with accupuncture, trying to cut down on work, modifying diet to impact on insulin, supplements lol but will give anything a go (within reason). I would like to do response trial given that I won't be seen for ages but there isn't one near me unfortunately lol someone needs to give me a creme egg :) x

Having a proper meltdown tonight as friend who recently had baby on what would have been edd of mc2 invited me (again) to come and see him. I know she will understand why I'm not coming as we mc'd before that at more or less the same time as each other, but I'm finding it hard to keep telling her that I'm not ready. Feel so guilty.
Plus not seen dh all week due to shifts and he's working 8-8 today and tomorrow too. I was hoping he'd bring in take out tonight (and accordingly didn't buy any food!) but he's just texted to say he won't be in for several hours, so looks like it's pasta and cheese for one.
Worse than that, one of my best friends has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I feel so incredibly sad for her and so selfish that I'm even still thinking about my stuff compared to what she's going through.

Just want to speak to dh about everything that's going on, but unlikely to get a proper chat til Monday night now. Feeling completely overwhelmed with it all at the moment. Sorry for the whinge, but you lot are all I have tonight

Oh March I'm about for chatting to, my other half is also working until 12 tonight. It's really hard when you just want to sit and talk. I'm sure your friend will understand, it means when you do see her you'll be in the right place to really spend time there, not watching the minutes until it's polite to leave. The c word is horrible, don't feel guilty though, we all have our battles and they can't be compared as they're so individual. It doesn't mean you can't try to support her just as I'm sure she'd do for you. That's what friendship is about not to compare but to support. Hope you're ok, it sounds like you've had a tough day :(

Bear, don't know much about the anxiety trial as its a local thing, so there's no website for it. Have emailed the trial manager so will let you know what it's about.

Oh march, so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. It's just so hard when things get on top of you like that, especially if rhe people you speak to in RL are not there. Firstly, ditch the guilt. Your friend has a new baby, she can cope with you not visiting. Especially as you say she will understand. Perhaps tell her you will let her know when you are ready, to take the pressure off? Who was it earlier who said 'chuck it in the fuck it bucket' - That may be a useful mantra?

So sorry about your friend with breast cancer. That's dreadful. I do think though that you are still allowed to feel utterly broken by 4 mc's (hope I got the number right) whilst acknowledging what is happening to her and the awfulness of it.

march any one of things is difficult on their own but you're being hit by it all while still dealing with enough already thank-you-very-much, and without DH there for support. Don't beat yourself up for finding it difficult, just rant on here

I'm also home alone this weekend - DH is on a stag weekend (with strict instructions not to touch any alcohol - he's told the others the reason why (need tip top swimmers for the ivf) so hopefully there won't be any peer pressure). I managed to mix the first antagonist injection all by myself this morning, eventually!

Big hugs March, sounds like you've had a pants day. I'm sure you're friend will understand about not wanting to see her little one. Cancer is just rubbish xx

Thanks everyone. Really helps to vent on here. don't know what I'd do without this place. Feeling a bit better after a big cry. Realised it's been a while since I've done that so I guess it's been building. Plus af is due in a few days so I'm sure that's not helping.

Glad the injections are going ok barking. Grow follicles grow!

Also on my own tonight march so hugs to you for having such a crappy day and to everybody else home alone.

Bootles and everyone thank you for your support! March We have just come back from visiting a friend with a 2 month old little girl. We went out and chose the clothes etc and I swear I deserve a medal for wrapping it all myself! I don't think anyone realises just how difficult those things are! Bootles I'm sorry to hear that you had to make the same agonising decision as us. Were the high NK cells diagnosed by one of the standard tests or a more in depth test? Loving the sound of these trials I am definitely going to look into those! X

Argh! Can someone please get me a filter so I don't have to see mother's day adverts?! They were all over the supermarket this afternoon as well, and I can't join my friends for pub lunch tomorrow as all the tables are booked so they couldn't add me on.
HATE mother's day. It's like everyone is rubbing it in my face. This is the 4th year I was hoping to be at least pg...

march I still haven't visited my mate since she gave birth last month (couple of weeks after my 2nd edd). She lives 5 mins walk from my house and I get nervous that I'll bump into her in the park or local shop and fall apart .

Sorry I'm not participating much at the moment. I'm a bit one dimensional and finding it hard to look up! I hope to come back and join in later, but for the moment I think lurking is all I'm good for. We're both doing well, jaundice and infection both clearing up nicely and feeding is more established. I have anaemia which is contributing to my tiredness but this should improve. Big hopeful hugs xxx

leah high uterine NK cells were diagnosed at the clinic in Coventry that is discussed often on here.

Meant to say..re the rmc after a boy topic, there's a Dr Braverman in the US who has alot to say about this. Only had time for a quick glance on google so far but its worth researching him if you're interested I think

Tanny pleased to hear you are both doing well despite jaundice and infection. One dimensional is just the way it should be right now for you. I hope you are managing some rest with little Bertie.

march sorry your having a hard time today. Seeing babies is so hard, I'm sure your friend understands. So sorry about your best friend too. Cancer is such a scary thing.

barking well done on sorting the injections. I'd be so bad at that!

tanny hope the anaemia clears up soon. Iron tablets are the worst! Glad Bertie is doing well.

march forget about feeling guilty avoiding your friend, you're still grieving your own babies and I think you need to put yourself first. Like you say, your friend should understand and I'm sure she won't mind.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, I hate that thing, ruins so many lives. I hope it has been caught early and the prognosis is good. I agree with boozle about not comparing your problems, but supporting her as best as you can. It doesn't make your mcs any less significant. x

Thinking of those of you who aren't looking forward to tomorrow
Have lots of and xxx

bootles (or bootleg as my spell check wants me to call you!) Good luck at Coventry tomorrow. I hope they are helpful.

flower29 rant away! you're friend is clearly in a different place (or planet) now and although staying positive may help in some ways, esp with coping, it's not going to change the outcome of a pregnancy that's heading to mc alone. I totally bought the bad luck line after mc 1 and buried my head in the sand, convinced myself I had taken one for the team, so mc 2 hit me hard. I know my chances of a successful pregnancy still outweigh the chances of another mc, but that's not enough for me right now. You have nothing to lose by heading to Coventry except the dosh from your bank a/c and they will help maximise your chances next time.

I'm sorry to see new faces have joined us and sorry for not name checking but this thread is the best place to hang out for good company and advice in our situations.

I hope everyone survives today. I'm going to remember my beans and try not to lose it in front of ds for feeling like such a useless mummy over the last 12 months. And eat . x

march hope you're feeling a bit better today, that's a lot for anyone to take so don't feel guilty.

Made the mistake of going on to Facebook this morning which is obviously full of Mother's Day posts :( Each year I think that next year ill be at least pregnant but it never happens. At least this I'm not miscarrying on Mother's Day! Hope those not looking forward to today have an ok day. I'm loving the chuck it in the fuck it bucket mantra!

I'm off to coventry tomorrow, sorry you had to cancel brummie fingers crossed you can go this cycle

bootles and floweroct good luck at Coventry tomorrow. Let us know how you get on, anyone else going?

Thanks all yet again for your kind and supportive comments. My husband is the only person I can rant at as all my friends have upset me at some point so it is nice to give him a break and rant on here instead. Thanks ladies. X

diddly I know what you mean about being useless mummy. I feel I've been shit over the past 6 mths and put him second, it really hurts. I'm sure we're not shit tho! x

Morning ladies.

Big hugs to those that aren't looking forward today & fingers crossed next year you have a reason to celebrate the day.

Tanny- glad to hear everything is improving & hoping the infection isn't too bad. Had one with dd and it took me 15 mins to walk from bedroom to bathroom due to the pain.

Barking, hope Mr Barking was a good boy on the stag do. My BIL had to do the same last year and he survived. Sending you lots of positive vibes over the next few weeks.

Had a chat with DH last night and we've decided that after next AF we're back ttc. Feels very scary particularly as have no treatment an at moment but also going to see if can join Response trial as at leat get lots of extra scans.

Morning everyone. I've just been on facebook and have realised, over the last couple of years, I've done an amazing job at hiding the newsfeeds of pregnant friends and gloating mothers - I had very few smug Mother's Day photos or cloying messages about being 'blessed'! If I sound bitter, well, that's what 3 years of poor fertility and miscarriage does. I used to be nice and happy but I've lost the will now.

On a more positive note, I'm thinking of joining the response trial. If I understand correctly, they do the recurrent testing before you can take part? I would also need the support if I did manage to conceive.

Good luck for today everyone x

Hand holding to everyone this morning who is finding it hard. I'm feeling a bit brighter and got to see dh for a whole 2 hours this morning!
Just wanted to says thanks everyone for all your support over the last 5 months. Hopefully by this time next year we'll all be looking forward to mothers day x

Hello everyone. Sorry for falling behind a bit. Sorry to read your devastating story leah. We have had a few ladies who have suffered later losses join recently and my heart goes out to you all.

Good luck to those going to coventry soon. Hope the profs are on top form.

Glad bertie is home tanny and you're getting on ok.

Sorry about your rubbish day sebs. Dd hasn't been covering herself in glory lately either and got in trouble at nursery for not listening on friday. Today she has refused to make me a card!

Sorry about your awful day too March. I hope your friend's cancer has been caught early. Don't push yourself to visit the baby.

Growth scan and consultation tomorrow. Blood sugar levels have dropped a bit and were a bit silly low on thurs and friday so I have lots of questions.

Gro

Flower29 and Sebs - totally agree with you both, I get the impression too that our circumstances are sometimes treated like an inconvienience to others "oh, i'm so sorry my pain has sullied your rainbow world for a moment." It's like i accidentally sat on one of the fucking bluebirds that tie the ribons in their hair.

March - that's really tough. I really hope there is a positive prognosis for your friend.

Those with friends with new babies, i really wouldn't worry. They will be in a state of such euphoria that they won't knotice your absence for months yet, and i am sure they couldnt be either so dumb or self-centred to not understand and have sympathy for whats going on.

Also want to send love and comradeship to you all who are still waiting for dc today. I am lucky - i know how lucky i am with my ds, i hope by this time next year you have a dc too

Well my mothers day is going to be spent marking gcse controlled assessments. I fucking hate marking. I'd rather have cystitis!

Morning all. I have got a stinking hangove. Had a quick look at fb and turned it off. Mothers Day everywhere and lots of "it's my first Mother's Day"

Fuck right off, it should've been my first Mother's Day too.

Ooh good luck tomorrow Floweroct gutted not there tomorrow but it's got to be right.

I start peeing on sticks again tomorrow and hoping for ovulation this week - proper ovulation that is!!

Tanny so glad little Bertie is home after his sunbathing. We are still here for you when you pop by to say hello

So today both DP and I are a bit hungover but we have to pop to Birmimgham so a big fat dirty Five Guys burger it is!!!!!

Hugs to all struggling today - I'm not doing fb today. Not bloody worth the heartache

Queen- size is the expert on the Response trial, as there's a thread on it that size pointed me in the direction of yesterday where I've been able to get some advise on. I'm hoping to sign up too x