Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

[Flower29]

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats

OMG flower. How utterly insensitive your friends were. I don't think I could have managed anything tactful either and would either have gone away and cried or gone the other way and made made a point of saying something like "well in the case are you suggesting that I should just give up too? " that would have shamed them into shutting up as I'm sure they wouldn't for a second have meant it about you. some people just don't think before they speak do they? I am horrified on your behalf. Definitely worth a quiet word with those you see individually if you can bring yourself to do it.

Good on you for signing yourself up for the 10k girlie. Either you will invoke sods law, or you will be fitter for it to continue your journey. Really hoping it's the former. Wish I liked running but it's definitely not for me!

Flower- well done you for remaining calm and in control. Hopefully your friends will have realised the error of their words after the event. Sometimes I find that is more powerful that the spoken word

march- don't double the run,
It's only a 5k than 10k (she says checking) I'm not actually made for running (large chest) and my PE report made reference that I waddle rather than run BUT it should be fun (she says having a cold sweat)

You could run it like phoebe from friends and you'd be doing better than me! You're right, it will be fun though and nice to have something to work towards

flower I cannot believe your friends didn't stop to think how upset you might be. What an insensitive way to be. You did great to be calm and composed. Hope you're ok now.

Thinking of you baking and am pleased to hear Faith is getting more focus now. Hope you and dh are getting lots of support from family and friends.

Any news tanny? Waiting for your arrival with much excitement.

I'm soo going to do it Phoebe stylie!

Flower I'm at your friends! How insensitive and tactless - I'm not sure I would have been able to keep quiet on that one... On the other hand, people who have never experienced infertility/miscarriage really do not have a f*ing clue, even if they think they do! Still, I think to discuss it like this in front of you, without even asking how you feel about it all, is very callous. Hope you are ok.

Baking What a rollercoaster. Glad that you are being listened to, but what an ordeal to have to go through first! Hope you'll get a bit of a breather soon xx

girlie Good on you for signing up for a race! Something to focus on!

barking I feel your frustration about trying to fit any kind of exercise regime around ttc, I have been struggling with this on and off. Have they actively encouraged you not to exercise while having the treatments and iui? I can understand that falling pg might mess up any exercise plans, which is why I now do no longer even try to sign up for races - I entered our local 10k race last year and then promptly fell pg, which really messed up my routine, I never did the race in the end.
Have you thought about trying something more compatible with your ttc regime, like just suggested? Swimming, pilates, yoga - done right, they can all be quite demanding!
For me, exercise definitely helps me to keep my sanity... Like you, I get really frustrated if I can't do something on a regular basis - at the moment, I run and go to the gym for Bodypump. Couldn't do anything while DH was away, and now that he is back, I'd love to do something, but I have a really bad sore throat and am losing my voice

Thanks all for your nice words about AF arriving. I always feel so shit when she arrives, it's like falling into a deep hole... Always makes me question how much longer I will be able to continue ttc.
Feeling a bit calmer now, plus DH has come back from his ski trip, which helps.

Sorry for being grumpy earlier. Brunch was nice. Am just sooooooo knackered. Was not even back that late last night but am clearly only cut out for vegging on the sofa these days!

Baking. Glad you got an apology. Sorry things are still scary though. Hugs to you all.

Flower another grr from here. And well done girlie.

flower can't believe they were so insensitive but some times people just really don't understand! Great about all your positive news though!

girlie well done for signing up to the 5k! I signed up for 5k in march 2012 in hope of the Sod's law thing unfortunately I'm still here and have ended up running 2 10ks and a half marathon since lol! Hopefully it'll work for you :)

barking I'm pretty much unexplained fertility, my cycles aren't that regular but have settled down a bit now. Initially I was told I possibly had pco but others have disagreed. Sorry you're struggling with missing out on things. I've tried not to say no to too many things but easier said than done when trying to organise treatment. But it's good that ivf will be fairly soon!

Gosh I consider myself ok fitness and it's never crossed my mind to sign up for an event and train. Oops. Thought a relatively active lifestyle was enough...

Sorry about your friends' insensitivity flower.

Quick question about gp tests for things like thyroid, hormone levels. Do they do them on the spot in the surgery? I'm deciding whether to go to my gp tomorrow.

barking glad dh is back and you feel a bit better

Depends on your GP me2 ours tends to make you go back for an appointment with practice nurse to take the bloods, then they get sent off to the lab.

Hormone levels are taken at particular days in your cycle me2. I think cd 2 and 21, or what your equivalent would be depending on your cycle.

Pcos is a weird one. Apparently you can have the cysts but not the syndrome and vice versa which sounds a bit hocus pocus. you csn only diagnose it at certain points in your cycle. I was told my pcos wasn't causing my mcs because I don't have the insulin or clotting disorders associated with it but having read prof regan's book and noticing u get podutive opks at random points in my long cycle too I am pretty convinced it has been my dodgy hormones causeing implantation issues. This csn lead to no bfp or early losses or both.

cloud I've been advised that running is not helpful when ttc (obviously some people have no problems, but some do) and at the assisted conception unit I was advised to reduce the intensity of my exercise after the treatment. So I could still go on a bike ride, just an easy 50km rather than 100km with lots of big hills, and I could still swim but not do intensive speed sessions.

girlie obviously I hope you have to pull out due to being pg, but if you're not it'll be a great achievement, you'll love it .

Sorry Barking, it does really get in the way, this TTC milarky. Mine completely screwed up my career, and it leaves you feeling very conflicted about everything when it feels like nothing is going right.

Baking you and your family stay in my thoughts.

I've been busy with a 3rd birthday party yesterday and then today have had a bad tummy all day, lots of cramps and was sick this afternoon. If it wasn't for the fact that DS2 has also had a dodgy tummy I might have thought it was the start of something, as I'm getting quite a lot of BH contractions too.

I'm not 37 weeks til Tuesday so hope not...

Good luck Tanny, not long now!!

ttc has screwed my career as well, I quit teaching in order to reduce stress as a last resort to get pg. Intending to go back when this is all over!

Hang in there Tanny. Keep us update x

Goodness..so much to catch up on, I have been ridiculously busy with this course, homework every evening when DS is in bed, hoping its going to change things for the better though. So I apologise for not writing as much as I would like.

baking sorry to hear faith had some further fitting. You are doing so incredibly well at coping with all this, and I so very much hope that they get her meds sorted to avoid fits, and you get all the results back soon.

barking don't apologise for ranting, please don't. You have every right. Its bloody sodding shit, the whole thing, and I am so so sorry the iui didn't work. It's clear to see that the last few years have changed your life drastically, and you have been through so much. It's not over yet, and I hope that you are able to find your way through it all. We are here for you.

sun I would highly recommend getting in touch with a genetic counsellor - they will know more about genetics and aneuploidy than the consultant will. There should be one everywhere where they do antenatal care. I saw one after my tfmr, and a!though there were no genetic issues, I have continued to discuss each mc with her, and discuss chromosome results where available. I agree with all that longest said.

longest hope you have won over the thrush! Enjoy your resting on the sofa, and good luck with the career move.

cloud so sorry for AF. Totally understand the not being able to stop thing, I am the same. Even when conditions are perfect it still doesn't happen for who knows what reason. Don't give up hope, if you keep trying and throwing everything at it, I imagine tbat conception will occur at some point. It is so gutting though, I know, when it doesn't happen.

Tanny going back a little...you have had such a rough year with some losses of a different kind, you are heavi!y pregnant after 5 MC's, and you are worried about money - its natural to have a reaction to all these things. You are human, after all. Really hope that things improve soon, and your upcoming arrival is going to certainly going to change things - all for the better. Thinking about you lots in these last few weeks.

flower I am speechless at your friends and utterly fuming on your behalf. I am a very forgiving sort of person but wouldn't be able to let that one go until I had addressed it with them.

cat hope things are better with DH - I can see why you were frustrated.

About the ruined plans..I now think about any trip, visit, event, plan - how would tbat work if I was in the middle of a mc? All mine have been long and drawn out in terms of diagnosis and waiting for erpc or bleed. All p!ans have been made and remade and cancelled so many times.

Have been thinking about adoption. Am also in the tww, just about, after a rather pathetic effort this month.

Welcome newbies, hope you find p!enty of support on here - you will, this thread is a lifeline.

Arrrgh. Think this might be going wrong again. Had the weak positive on 11dpo, slightly stronger (but still surprisingly weak) on 13dpo and then today (15dpo) is back to being as weak as 11dpo. I would perhaps be able to convince myself I'd just drunk more before bed, but yesterday and today my temp is 0.2 lower. It's still not below cover line, but then it wouldn't be because of the progesterone. So scared that this is a chemical. No bleeding yet but then again progesterone would probably mask for a few days. Sorry for sounding like a silly little girl. I know what I'd be saying to someone else in this position but just terrified its happening again

FLower, just read about your friends, how horrid of them, I would have just got up and left and made it clear why...

March, stop testing!!!

Have you been to the GP? Booked an early scan? I can't remember where you were being seen, are you another Coventry? Send them an email... Sending positive vibes your way

Thanks tiny. That's what I needed. I know I shouldn't have continued testing/temping although probably going to do another test in 2 days time Gp appt is not til a week on wed. called the consultant's secretary this morning to chase up the email I sent 2 weeks ago begging for heparin. It's still in her pile. However sec said they don't scan til 6 weeks to check it's in the right place (!) So even if she did agree to prescribe it, it wouldn't be for another 2 weeks. Felt like a total fraud ringing to say I was pg when I feel like I'm losing it

March - it's so terrifying isn't it. I was exactly where you are a few weeks ago. BFPs that weren't getting stronger/looked weaker, worries that the progesterone masks mc. I think it was longest who said to me that at that early stage such tiny numbers of hgc are multiplying it's very likely that the lines will wax and wane a bit. Not like later when it changes by hundreds in the two days. Hugs though. I know it's so much easier to be calm on behalf of someone else.

march do you have an epu near where you can go and ask for hcg blood test? I think what you need now is reassurance. It's too early to see anything on a scan but an hcg today and again in two days will show you things are moving in the right direction. It's a long wait til 6 weeks.
Aside from that, stop testing and tempting if you can!

I'm at GPS waiting to ask for tests

I had my heparin scan at 5+5 I think, too early for a HB but I was happy to see it in the right place and to start the injections... I hope you get it all early! I remember the stress of the BFP followed by all the calls and emails to Prof Quenby and Brosens!

Seen the GP and now waiting for blood tests (I'm cd 4 so able to have all but progesterone). He was happy to do all the tests but was so unconcerned about my 2mcs that I'm now wondering if I am jumping the gun going to Coventry. I had just got my head around not ttc this month (indeed it's quite liberating) but maybe I should give it one more go.

Glad your gp is getting the tests done me2. So hard to decide what to do in your position. On the one hand of course you want to do everything you can to avoid another mc and on the other hand your chances of a successful pg without any intervention are still really very good (which is presumably why the gp seems so unconcerned). A bit of foresight would be so useful!