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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread - Thread 17 - Tests, treatment and trying again

984 replies

Flower29 · 05/02/2015 12:28

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats Smile

OP posts:
twilightstruggle · 18/02/2015 21:45

Sorry, my two at 9 weeks...

tannyLoo · 18/02/2015 21:56

Twilight I'm sixth time lucky on the Coventry protocol. Good luck tomorrow chick, thinking of you x

girliesaints · 18/02/2015 21:57

My third was at 10 wks was a mystery as it was a natural MC the foetus had already gone by time scanned but had been scanned at 6 wks with HB and on schedule. Probably why came as major shock as had no signs it was going wrong until the bleeding started... Second was already gone at 7 wk scan but never know if HB had ever kicked in or not. First was chemical.

I have a theory with mine that they are getting to a stage when something stops happening as been developing ok upto that point. As they get further each time, I sort of wonder if body is relearning what to do. If it is, then I hope it remembers all the way through nice time!

Monten · 18/02/2015 22:05

Mine at 12wks looked totally fine and I'd had no bleeding. He was still alive, I had to have a tfmr. Had a blissful 30minutes watching him wriggle around with no idea anything was wrong before she finished the scan then told me it didn't look good. Apparently he had lots of heart problems tho and she implied she was surprised he was still alive. Sad

Good luck tomorrow twilight. It is absolutely insult to injury to have an awful journey on top. I hope you get some sleep x

bootles · 18/02/2015 22:14

Thanks for the replies everyone. I had one that was doing badly from the beginning, and finally died between 8-9 weeks, but this last one looked fine - good in fact, just a few days before it died - and by the measurements it had also grown as you'd expect in those few days, so it would have been a sudden thing - sorry I don't mean to divert things on a day we all need to be here for twilight. But sometimes, the not understanding what's going on drives me insane. Looks like we have a mix of chromosomally normal/abnormal.

twilight so sorry you have to get up at that ungodly hour on top of everything, and also mutual and sorry hand holding that its your 5th. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. And don't be worrying about getting us thinking of sad things - it's always just there anyway, isn't it. We are here for you.

Sorry to those with appointments being changed, just so frustrating. Sorry you can't TTC this month brummie, so maddening.

Justonemoretime · 18/02/2015 22:16

So many sad stories Sad xxx to all.

bakingtins · 18/02/2015 22:17

My earlier ones I'd had early scans due to spotting ( had this in every pregnancy including all three successful ones, don't think it means anything) and was told 'there's a HB, it's fine'
When they were doing serial scans after I was classed as a RMC it was obvious from earlier on that development was slow and falling behind, although HB was present.
Normal embryo, literally starved out Sad

longestlurkerever · 18/02/2015 22:28

Hugs everyone. Mine have been early gestation, though 2 missed to different extents. I have only seen hbs with dd and this one. Can only imagine how it feels to have that reassurance ripped away.

bootles · 18/02/2015 22:36

Cross post monten, sorry for your tfmr. My 2nd was a tfmr at 13 wks, but looked good at 8, and was chromosomally normal.

So again a mix of slow and sudden demise. Chromosomally normal/abnormal. It drives me crazy that mc is 'rare' after 8 weeks, yet so many of us have experienced it, and clearly something is going on but the answers are not all there yet. One day they will be, I guess.

mrsdiddlydoo · 18/02/2015 22:40

What a day. We're away at the moment. First time been able to catch up

twilight I'm so sorry you find yourself here in this position again. It's rubbish. I hope the erpc goes quickly tomorrow and they can tell you something useful after examining the baby.

I'm really interested in the 9 weeks thoughts as both my mc were late in the first trimester. We're still confused between whether to just carry on or pay out for private care. We want it to be bad luck. But I don't think I'm strong enough to just wait and find out. So head's still firmly in the sand. Plus the cash flow problems. Think Coventry makes most sense but everything is so confusing. Found out how much our friends paid for a puppy this week which really helps put it into perspective for my dh. Surely I'm and our future is worth more!!

our day really pleased your scan went well. Don't feel guilty. Not on here with us. Not ever.

mrsdiddlydoo · 18/02/2015 22:41

flen you need organic raw apple cider vinegar made from the mother! I'm not sure on quantity but am trying to find out.

Purplefrogshoes · 19/02/2015 00:05

ourday glad scan went well

Thinking of you twilight

girliesaints · 19/02/2015 06:11

Thinking of you today twilight x

Marchgirl · 19/02/2015 07:03

Thinking of you today twilight.
Hard as it is to do, i think it's good for us to talk about our thoughts on what is happening. Outside rmc specialists we are the only ones who have collective knowledge of lots of rmc patients, so maybe somehow that will help to think of other possibilities. I don't know. Maybe it will only help in the sense of us being able to talk about it.
Two of mine were early and two got a little bigger. The first i found out at 9.2 but they said it measured 6. i suspect it got to more than that and then was reabsorbed slightly. I had a tiny fluttering at about 8 weeks (even mentioned it at booking in) and that's when i think it happened. I felt the same on the one that we saw hb at 7.1 (but dodgy looking sac), fluttering the day before i had the scan to confirm at 8 wks. I know they are only just starting to move by then and are tiny but maybe it was a body reaction rather than the baby itself. Anyone else had this?

Catlover2014 · 19/02/2015 07:04

Thoughts are with you today twilight

XXXX

Sunandrainbow · 19/02/2015 07:12

twilight - thinking of you today. Hugs.

march - I also has a fluttering feeling in two of my pgs shortly before the scan showing that the baby had died. Wonder what it is.

Marchgirl · 19/02/2015 07:17

EDD for mc2 today. Last night a post from friend due yesterday to say they had theirs 3 days ago and this morning a text from friend due tomorrow to say she had a boy this morning. You couldn't make it up. I'd really hoped I would be pregnant before this EDD and I was right, I was pregnant and now it's gone already. So fucked off with this whole thing.

Marchgirl · 19/02/2015 07:18

Interesting sun. I had started to think I was imagining it, but maybe it was real

Justonemoretime · 19/02/2015 07:27

March and Sun, the fluttering is interesting. I didn't experience that, and part of my mentalness psychological recovery was to come to terms with the babies dying and me not knowing (all mmcs). I ended up with a lot of 'trust issues' with my body and huge scanxiety. Maybe you were more tuned in than I was?

Brummiegirl15 · 19/02/2015 07:30

Thinking of you today Twilight xx

March big hugs to you too xx my 2nd EDD is 25th March so I feel your pain. Now my appt has been moved I won't even potentially get a cheeky BFP by then.

My first mc was a natural miscarriage so was just bleeding.

Mc 2 had a scan at 6 weeks and you could tell something wasn't right but sac etc was in right place. Lost at 9 weeks.

Mc 3 looked textbook perfect with right size and hb at 7 weeks. Never saw it coming. No pain, nothing. Scan at. 9 weeks showed it had died. On both 1 & 2 I started bleeding. In 3 I took aspirin and didn't bleed but baby died. Always wondered if this time the aspirin helped but it was a chromosome problem.

So much sad news at moment but I agree, the fact we can all sit and chat together about our experiences is so valuable

bootles · 19/02/2015 07:33

Thinking of you twilight x

march oh dear that's rough, especially after the last couple of weeks for you. I hope you find a way to negotiate through the day x

I'm not aware of a fluttering, but on the day the last one died (I'm pretty sure because I had a scan 5 days before, and by comparing the measurements it must have died just the day before the scan) I had a definite lifting of the shortness of breath that I always (weirdly) get in early pregnancy. I did worry tbat I suddenly felt different, but it was a busy day, and I disregarded it, until the random scan the next day showed no HB.

bakingtins · 19/02/2015 07:35

Big hugs to twilight and march for getting through tough days today.

Justonemoretime · 19/02/2015 08:08

March, sorry about the 'world of babies' on your EDD :( I'm sure your time will come soon.

Brummie, are you 2 months clear of your most recent mc yet? Maybe use the extra months' break enforced by the moved appointment date to get the Coventry scratch done? If you are waiting anyway, then maybe it needn't be wasted?

With all 3 of my mmcs I had spotting and with the third a really big bleed (which the baby actually survived). I also had spotting up to 7 weeks with this one, and I now think its just normal for me to spot in early pregnancy. With the first two at just past 6 weeks I think the issue was that I couldn't properly implant the trophoblast (which goes on to make the placenta) so as soon as the baby started to try to link up to my blood steam, it didn't flow so the baby died. With the third I was on aspirin and progesterone. I think the aspirin did help with the trophoblast, so the placenta did get started and the baby could begin to develop, and the progesterone supported the pregnancy (or did nothing... come on PROMISE trial results!!!). So I solved one problem, but (puts conspiracy theory hat on) I am still convinced that taking the aspirin BEFORE the bfp (as I was advised to do) meant that the Turner's baby was able to implant. I don't think it would have got anything like that far otherwise because my body would have rejected it either before implantation or very shortly afterwards. It really makes me think (unfavourably) about the 3 mcs before investigations policy. How much has it really cost the NHS to forego the tests and investigations on that first loss? (Well I'll tell you) 3 further erpcs, two hysteroscopies (although, to be fair, maybe having the septum out was necessary), and now (if the surgery was a contributory factor for my current placenta praevia) a planned C-section. Countless reassurance scans. All for the cost of a course of a few blood tests and 50 heparin injections and doing the karyotyping after #1 rather than #3. Not as cost saving as they thought it would be. Fortunately (for the NHS) I paid for all the therapy, reflexology and acupuncture etc. and going to Coventry myself because I am middle class enough to be able to afford it (hides credit card statements). But what if I wasn't? Not everyone affected by RMC is late 30s, employed and educated enough to wade through medical papers and research, or feels confident enough to stand up to the consultants when needed. It's an inequality.

The current research at places like Coventry and the new Tommy's research centre which hopes to identify a wider variety of types of miscarriages (ranging from genuine 'bad luck' to recognisable pattern) and then treat them appropriately. Now that would save some money in the long run.

Sorry for the rant... needed to get that off my chest.

Flen · 19/02/2015 08:10

Thinking of you today twilight. And
march it is horrible horrible. Hugs to you both.

I'm back in the TWW now, going to try my very hardest not to go mental this time.

mrsdiddlydoo · 19/02/2015 08:20

Hand holding today twilight.

What a shitty start to the day march. Hope you have something nice planned for the day... Even if that's just a duvet and a huge Cake.

Unmn hugs all round.

Right I'm off to kill my dh for sabotaging my chance of a lie in. Such a small pointless thing but I am running on minus empty and need help.