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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 15 - tests, treatment and trying again

990 replies

Justonemoretime · 01/01/2015 09:02

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
longestlurkerever · 16/01/2015 10:11

Tanny what rubbish news and exactly what you didn't need while you are reeling from the funeral. Hugs. X

TinyTear · 16/01/2015 10:11

oh tanny, so sorry!

Sunandrainbow · 16/01/2015 10:11

Oh tanny I'm so sorry. Sometimes life just seems to be taking the piss doesn't it. Big hugs.

Mama - so sorry you have found yourself here, but as others have said, these ladies are amazing with huge amounts of knowledge. I was one of those who managed to get some tests done after two mcs due to age, but I really had to fight for that, which was almost more stressful than the mc itself, crazy as that sounds. I was just desperate to not be trying again without trying to get some answers. X

Brummiegirl15 · 16/01/2015 10:28

Tanny that is truly shit. I'm so so sorry. Poor Pusscat. I have 3 cats who mean the world to us. You must be devastated Sad

Well the bleeding has finally stopped. So I wanted to try and return to normal and DTD and try a get a bit of closeness. DP wouldn't. Said it was too soon Confused

I was gutted. I actually cried. Felt really rejected. I guess I just want to try and get on with life and work towards getting pregnant again. Obviously DP wasn't ready

longestlurkerever · 16/01/2015 10:46

Aw Brummie, I would have cried too. xx

Marchgirl · 16/01/2015 11:05

tanny, so sorry to hear about your cat Sad. You really are going through it at the moment. Hope you're doing ok X

Sorry your felt rejected brummie. I'm sure he didn't mean it in a bad way,but can totally understand how hurtful it must feel. Maybe he's taken it harder than you thought?
The first time we dtd after this last mc I cried during/after it, and trust me, that doesn't go down well. Felt so bad. So maybe he's worried one of you will do that.

Keep talking is all i can say. Hope it gets better soon x

Boozle80 · 16/01/2015 11:06

Tanny I'm so sorry, it's so hard to loose a family pet - especially so suddenly and on top of everything else - things have got to get better soon - you've had more than your fair share I think :( sending you big hugs xxx

Flower29 · 16/01/2015 11:08

mama sorry you're going through this, it's so horrible. I'm currently going through mc2 and am 7 wks but I think the pregnancy only developed to 4.5wks. I hope you're taking it easy and looking after yourself.

tanny sorry you lost your cat. Many people underestimate losing a pet and don't realise they're part of your family. Look after yourself

charlie that's wonderful news, I'm so happy for you. I'm sure it cheers everyone up on here to hear good news!

I hope he comes round soon brummie.

Hope you get the answers you need flen.

Sorry for missing anyone off. X

Original poster
Justonemoretime · 16/01/2015 11:28

Tanny, Sad Sad Sad so sorry to hear about your cat. Sad

OP posts:
Flen · 16/01/2015 11:48

tanny I am so so sorry my lovely, what a horrible week for you. Hugs and hugs and hugs.

Flen · 16/01/2015 11:53

I am back from my consultant appointment. All blood tests were clear. He has advised 75mg aspirin from BFP and weekly scans with him beginning at 5 weeks. I feel disappointed that there is no "answer" but glad to be being looked at and actually under someone's care. He also seemed to focus on the de-stress aspect so that is food for thought too....

longestlurkerever · 16/01/2015 12:08

Flen. Know what you mean re disappointed there's no answer. It took me a while to come round to that - glad you're thinking positively. Did your consultant mention progesterone? That PROMIS trial is well overdue its report now.

Marchgirl · 16/01/2015 12:16

Glad all is clear flen though I felt in two minds about it too as I so wanted a quick fix, so I know what you mean. Interesting that he is suggesting aspirin. Everything varies so much!

I emailed the PROMISE trial mailbox yesterday to see if they could give me any idea of when they would be publishing, so if i get a reply I will let you all know. I see the thing saying it will be published by the end of Nov has gone

Monten · 16/01/2015 12:28

tanny I’m so so sorry to hear about your cat. Pets are family members too and it’s just devastating to lose one. What a time you’re having. Look after yourself.

Sorry you find yourself here mama, these ladies are awesome. I was referred for testing after 2. Partly due to my age (37) but also (I suspect) because the clinic are doing a thyroid trial and were trying to get participants. It’s always worth asking.

Sorry to hear you didn’t get ‘an answer’ flen but really glad you’re feeling looked after. It’s so important isn’t it?

cloud af has just arrived here too. I knew I wasn’t pregnant but you still stupidly hope don’t you. That’s now six cycles since last MC. I know that’s not that long in the grand scheme of things and I know people try for much longer with no luck, and I should be grateful that I have gotten pregnant naturally in the past. But I’m starting to really flip out that something has irreparably broken. I don’t even know if that’s possible. I thought I was doing well but starting to feel utterly desperate again.

cloudjumper · 16/01/2015 12:41

monten The arrival of AF is always the worst day for me, too - disappointment and desperation are not a good combination! Lots of Wine and Cake for you this weekend.

Marchgirl · 16/01/2015 12:52

Hugs to both of you for arrival of af. I agree it's the most depressing day of the month x

Monten · 16/01/2015 13:32

Thanks ladies. You're both on the TTC bandwagon again too aren't you? We can keep each other company.

I just want to sit a doctor down and ask:

  • Is it possible for something in the whole miscarriage/erpc process to damage your body and make you unable to get pregnant again?
  • If so, what can is it and can you test me for it?

If I just felt that someone had really listened to me and given me the all clear I would chill out. I've made an appointment with my GP to ask for fertility tests, now it's been six months. Already gearing myself up for a fight about that as I suspect she will say I should just wait and see what happens. But I want to get started so if we do end up having to have IVF we’ve at least got the ball rolling.

Miscarriage is the gift that keeps on giving isnt it? Lots of wine this weekend.

mrsdiddlydoo · 16/01/2015 13:37

Funny PROMISE trial has come up today. I was trawling net trying to find out when it might be published last night and had resorted to emailing them today to ask. march let us know if you hear back!!

AF is due Monday or Tuesday but certain its on its way. Had a couple of panics about what if I did get a bfp and anxiety about mc again... Probably explains my manic internet searches last night for anything I could take to my gp to get them to give me progesterone. Maybe I should be taking a break from TTC.

mama sorry you find yourself here. This bunch of ladies are, I swear, the 'most lovely and helpful and sadly experienced at such shit things' ladies on mn.

And Tanny my heart goes out to you. We're doggy people but our pets are as important as the humans over here. Hugs

Marchgirl · 16/01/2015 13:43

Wine indeed monten. Yes, we can be ttc buddies.
It's so easy for others looking in to say "just relax, it'll happen", but not as easy in real life. I'm hoping my acupuncture might help me manage the stress/urgency.
I think you're doing the right thing getting a referral. Even if they say to give it a bit longer at least you're in the system, but hopefully they will be able to answer your questions

cloudjumper · 16/01/2015 13:49

Monten - can I recommend Prof Regan's book to you, it is very informative and detailed. She has quite a big chapter about the link between miscarriage and infertility in there as well (just looked at it last night).

longestlurkerever · 16/01/2015 13:52

Huge hugs monten. I hate AF days and always have a bit of a cry. Your body isn't broken but I really empathise with what you're going through. My cycles are long and though I have always got pregnant within about 3 cycles, that can equate to about 6 months which I know doesn't amount to proper difficulty conceiving but feels like forever, especially when you know a bfp is just the first step. I first joined the mc boards when I was feeling really low about ttc after mc2 and it was taking a while. I got my bfp that very same week but sadly that turned into mc3, when I joined this thread.

In my own case I have always thought there must be a connection between my long cycles and my mcs and Prof Regan's book supported this theory. She talked about PCOS and how the high fsh/low progesterone combination can make implantation difficult and therefore is normally associated with difficulties conceiving but can also lead to early losses where implantation occurs but is not secure. I really think this is what was happening to me and I also think (though with less conviction) that it may be the agnus castus I took to try and improve my progesterone levels and shorten my cycle that actually allowed implantation to happen quickly and properly this time. So I would recommend trying to get some hormone testing done if you haven't already. At the very least it may feel like you're doing something. In fact CD2-3 is when you should get your first progesterone test taken so might be worth a call to your gp today?

Sunandrainbow · 16/01/2015 13:54

Hey monten - sorry I have lost track of who has seen consultants etc on here. Did you get seen by RMC after last mc? Mine said if nothing happened in 6 months to make another appointment with them to discuss 'further management'. So could that be an option for you in terms of getting some reassurance from them that nothing is wrong? In my 3 pregnancies, the length of time it took me to get pregnant did vary - #1 was first cycle, #2 3rd and #3 5th. Like you I did start to wonder on the last one if it would happen or if something was wrong. Fingers crossed that this is your month x

longestlurkerever · 16/01/2015 13:57

Crossed posts with cloud. It helped me just to understand about the hormonal causes, even though there were no quick fixes suggested. I at least stopped thinking there was some unknown and untreated cause lurking inside me that was going to make it impossible to stay pregnant.

longestlurkerever · 16/01/2015 13:59

PS - and sod's law said the day I was planning to go and get my bloods taken to verify my low progesterone theory was the day I got my BFP!

Catlover2014 · 16/01/2015 14:54

Tanny so sad to read about your moggy Sad Pets are a much loved part of the family and it's heartbreaking when they are taken away from us. Thinking of you xxx