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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 14 - tests, treatment, trying again

999 replies

Justonemoretime · 29/11/2014 17:38

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
Marchgirl · 05/12/2014 08:49

Beautifully written once again flen. Thanks purple, I tried that one but didn't get on with it, but I'm glad it's working for you. I believe you can combine those two if that would help at all, ask you doctor.

TinyTear · 05/12/2014 09:05

just should be ok with the heparin.
I used to take it at 7 or 8pm every day, when i had a business trip I took it at work before heading to the airport at 3pm and then the next day at 10pm when I got home

Floweroct · 05/12/2014 09:11

Gosh lots to catch up on! flen that's such a good piece, I might pass the link on to a couple of people as so many if your posts explain how I feel so much better than I can say it myself. Talking about triggers I went to a work event last night which you think would be safe but no one of the other speakers bought her 6 week old baby. She was very cute and its generally pregnancy that is worse rather than babies but didn't help distract me! My first pregnancy was due a couple of weeks before Prince George and my third pregnancy would have been due a couple if months after this one, so ill now have two reminders!!

Welcome to newbies, and hugs to those with worries, sorry for not name checking but on phone!

girliesaints · 05/12/2014 09:22

Agree with Bakintins on the age gap, any gap would be welcomed as it would mean another little person on our house.

Hope flen you get some answers today x

TinyTear · 05/12/2014 09:24

Goodness the triggers are terrible, after my first MC it seems EVERYTHING had pregnaancies on it... even tv shows like The Office and stuff... and when it comes up in a book...

longestlurkerever · 05/12/2014 09:25

I left your blog open on my kindle flen and dh saw it. He commented on how well written it was (he liked your lack of adjectives) before I said I "knew" you! I will be thinking of you as you get your results today too.

I am slightly stressing about a pain I get if I roll over in bed or twist - it's quite intense but short-lived and spreads all over my proto-bump. I wouldn't really describe it as cramping so hope it is some sort of stretching pain but has anyone experienced it before? I don't remember it with dd but I was so blase back then I probably thought nothing of it if I did have it.

SashaKerr · 05/12/2014 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinyTear · 05/12/2014 09:34

lurker likely to be streching pain. have you got a pregnancy pillow? i have started using my Dream Genii

Sasha I have nearly 4 years between my sister and I and we never got on that well, but could just be personality, not age...

With the 2 mcs between my DD and this bump it will be 3y2m between them, but I am just glad DD will end up having a sibling - although I was starting to get round the idea of her being an only

TinyTear · 05/12/2014 09:35

Also, I also think I am hyper fertile with no quality control, bah!

But the one that survived is perfect Grin

I went on a forced break after number 3 while waiting for tests so sometimes that can be a good thing...

longestlurkerever · 05/12/2014 09:47

sasha I don't think it's insensitive at all. A lot of us have had the same worries. And I am totally with you on the inability to plan - Flen wrote about the limbo we all find ourselves in on her blog and it really resonated with me. But one thing about parenting is an inability to predict how our children will turn out, what they will enjoy and who they will play with. Dsis is 2.5 years younger than me and we are very close but that's not to say dd would be the same with a sibling even if I had to recreate the gap (in fact it will be closer to 4 years). Small gaps can lead to closeness or competitiveness and there's no predicting which. It is unfair that others just seem to be able to decide on something and a baby appears though isn't it?

Lots on the thread recommend waiting. I never have really but my cycles are long anyway so by the time I have waited for af to return and the testing to be done it's been a bit of an enforced gap which no doubt did some good. I feel you on the wine and cake comforting!

Thanks Tiny. Someone on the pg after mc thread said they had the same thing so am reassured. Will order a pillow I think. Didn't have one last time.

ourdaywillcome1983 · 05/12/2014 09:50

Sorry for the delay everyone - so many lovely replies since my last, even the replies for other people give me comfort as its a reminder that we are not on our own

SashaKerr · 05/12/2014 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floweroct · 05/12/2014 09:55

Sasha I don't think it's insensitive to talk about age gap, I don't have any dc but I think the thing with mc is that it takes away that control and those dreams that you had whatever they are and that is bloody hard!

ourdaywillcome1983 · 05/12/2014 09:56

Oooh can i add re age gaps? I know i dont have any children but i am the eldest of 3. I was 10 when my sister was born and i adored her from day one, all the pictures my mum has are great, i am holding her so tight it could be mistaken for restraint! There was a time when she was super annoying, think it was for just a year when she was around 6! But we are firmly best friends now, hand on heart she is my very best friend and a lovely 21 year old.
My brother is the baby, he is 16 so 15 years younger than me but im vvery close with him, he calls me if he has any problems and we have fun together. So just wanted you all to know that :)
My husband has 2 brothers, one 2 years younger and one 3 years older and he isnt as close with his as i am with mine, so go easy on yourselves with the pressure - easy for me to say i know!

Flen · 05/12/2014 10:04

Hi Sasha it's here: thingsaboutmiscarriage.wordpress.com/

Thanks for all the kind comments - I cannot tell you how helpful it has been to share it with you all and know that there are people who feel the same way. We are not alone!

Re: age gaps, from a personal point of view, I get on better with my sister who is 5 years younger than the one who is 2 years younger! And with my child development hat on, the ideal time is when the first child is 3+ anyway, as it is not until then that children are properly able to process the existence of other "minds" and that they aren't the centre of everything, making it much easier psychologically and emotionally when another sib comes along.

Marchgirl · 05/12/2014 10:21

sash sorry if i made you feel like worrying about the age gap was silly. That's not how I meant it to come out at all. I totally agree that the age gap is a genuine and real concern for me, you and lots of others. I just mean that being on here with these ladies had helped me worry about it less, as it puts it in perspective. I feel like I'm constantly saying things that might offend or upset people here so apologies to you and anyone else!
And I think my uterus seems to be very receptive but not very selective. You might find this interview with profs brosens and quenby interesting
www.news-medical.net/news/20130117/Miscarriage-and-molecular-signals-an-interview-with-Prof-Brosens-and-Prof-Quenby.aspx

SashaKerr · 05/12/2014 10:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

longestlurkerever · 05/12/2014 11:03

our day. It's a tricky one. I certainly empathise with your dilemma. If you feel like you want to go for it this month, do. I decided to try again after the all clear from st Mary's before visiting Coventry but just to warn it is terrifying being pregnant again and I am glad I ruled out some possible causes. It might be worth waiting just for the peace of mind that you have done everything you can. Totally personal decision though. You could always try and go to Coventry if it doesn't happen this time. I think it's the second half of your cycle you need to be around for anyway, rather than ovulation itself, if you might be back by then?

ourdaywillcome1983 · 05/12/2014 11:23

Thanks longest its a dilemma because if the worst happened and i had another mc then i'd have to wait another 2 cycles before i could see them in coventry.
Ive emailed the secretary and she said if i did ov on the 15/16th she could see me on the 22nd. I land backk in manchester at 7.30 am and id like to have a shower etc before going there. It has to be 7-10 days post ov so i'll have a think about it. I really want to try again but i really dont want the heartbreak of another mc. No idea what to do :(

longestlurkerever · 05/12/2014 11:38

our day I felt exactly the same. I ended up compromising and waiting for most of the tests to come back but not the repeat TEG or saline scan and decided against Coventry this time as I didn't want the stress of conflicting advice, but I was still terrified that I was prolonging finding the answer. One factor for me was my long cycles so 2 cycles is actually 3 months even if at returned straight away, but I am ridiculously impatient at the best of times. If this pregnancy hadn't worked out I would definitely have gone for Coventry.

ourdaywillcome1983 · 05/12/2014 11:42

OK just read the info they sent me, again, and the clinic is only Mon and Fri so it would be the 22nd or January. Also i cant find anywhere in the info leaflet that says i would need to wait two full cycles post MC before they could do this, now im not sure if i just imagined that part?

ourdaywillcome1983 · 05/12/2014 11:45

longest sorry i am very easily confused and i forgot that you were pregnant without coventry! I think i may relax this holiday and see what happens, if it doesnt happen then i will go to coventry. Thank you

longestlurkerever · 05/12/2014 11:52

They do say that, our day. Actually I remember now I was going to be away at the relevant time too so tried to see if they would do the test after one cycle but they said no so that also influenced me.

Ok, glad you've made a decision. Good luck!

TinyTear · 05/12/2014 11:53

the two cycles thing they told me in a different email...

but bakingtins went after one cycle

Belleende · 05/12/2014 12:43

Hello new ladies. Sorry you have ended up here, but there are at least lots of happy endings.
I had a big poo this morning, so feeling a lot less like sludge. Thought I would share