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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Recurrent Miscarriage Support thread 14 - tests, treatment, trying again

999 replies

Justonemoretime · 29/11/2014 17:38

Information, support, hand holding, tea, sympathy and a hell of a lot of combined knowledge - all welcome as we try to make sense of the RMC roller coaster of tests, NHS admin, heart ache and (hopefully) happy endings!
Please start with a recap of your stats :)

OP posts:
girliesaints · 24/12/2014 09:12

Just a quick check in whilst it's all quiet here.

Hope those that are enduring big family Christmas find a coping strategy for them that works and get at least 5 mins of me time this Xmas.

For those that are pregnant but stressing to the next scan, try and be kind to yourselves and enjoy the only excuse ever to eat everything insight!

For those that are sad that don't have the bump or bundle that they were hoping for this Xmas, remember a lot happens in 12 months, reflected by the 11 pregnancies on here. There is every chance it will be you next year.

And lastly for those that have recently suffered a MC, sorry for your loss and hope you find some comfort on here.

Xmas is already a stressful time of year, let alone dealing with the added stress of an MC and if anyone is struggling over Xmas please do let us know on here so we can help each other. I'll be checking in occasionally over the next few days. In the meantime thank you everyone for getting me through my recent stresses, it really helped. Merry Christmas x

longestlurkerever · 24/12/2014 09:34

A big Christmas hug to everyone on here. Hard to believe I was pregnant and blissfully ignorant of the pain and fear of rmc this time last year, having only had one chemical pregnancy I put down to bad luck. One year on, two mmcs, a whole heap of tests and scans but one healthy bean kicking me and a lot of new and supportive friends. I don't think I would have coped without you all.

Wishing those who may struggle strength to cope and hope things are better than expected. Christmas here can be stressful too but am thankful for everything that is going well and looking forward to sharing it with dd.

Hope 2015 brings loads of thread babies, bfps and bumps. X

Justonemoretime · 24/12/2014 09:49

Thanks Ladies,
Tanny, here's the link :) Glad you're enjoying the posts. I've put them in chronological order, but they're all there.
justonemoretimeagain.wordpress.com/2014/12/22/eight-weeks-of-silence-begins/
justonemoretimeagain.wordpress.com/2014/12/23/the-first-big-day/
justonemoretimeagain.wordpress.com/2014/12/24/hold-on-hold-tight-hold-your-breath/
It was important to me to try to record my feelings and experiences as I was going through the process without knowing how it would turn out. There are 5 more to come, and I've set them to auto update over the next few days.
Best Christmas wishes to you all. xx

OP posts:
Justonemoretime · 24/12/2014 19:52

Just got my combined screening letter, odds of Down's is 1:59000. Grin Merry Christmas everyone!

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girliesaints · 24/12/2014 20:23

Fab news longest. Merry Xmas x

girliesaints · 24/12/2014 20:23

Sorry meant just (clearly been on the sherry already!) x

tannyLoo · 24/12/2014 20:49

Wow! Merry Christmas indeed Grin

Marchgirl · 24/12/2014 21:37

Great news just. Hope you can relax and enjoy tomorrow now you have your good news Grin

barkingtreefrog · 24/12/2014 21:52

Good news, just,
Hope the appointment went ok bootles
sj sorry you're going through this at such a busy time
cloud we ran away this year, just us two on holiday, no Xmas happening at all Grin .
Tanny really sorry about your dad.
catlover hope you can really enjoy Christmas this year Smile .

Thanks for all the advice on here this year as I've dipped in and out, I've learnt so much. All I have to do now is hope that 2015 is my year as 2012, 2013 and 2014 weren't and I finally get both a bfp and a baby by the end of it!! Grin

tannyLoo · 24/12/2014 22:51

Just had a cry whilst filling stockings, thinking about the three we'll need next year.

Can't wait to see all the new good news of 2015. I have a feeling we're in for a good year on this thread.

Love to you all, however you are spending tomorrow xxx

bythesea82 · 24/12/2014 22:55

bootles hope your scan was ok.
just great news

Just wanted to Echo others and say thanks for all the support this year. Wishing you all a very happy/easy/bearable Christmas Xmas Smile
Big hugs x

tannyLoo · 25/12/2014 08:06

Happy Christmas everyone. The boney bum under my ribs is a reminder of what's to come, and I am starting to say goodbye to what has been. Lots of love x

Me2Me2 · 25/12/2014 12:18

Happy Christmas everyone

Would be 25 or 9 weeks by now. Still, DCs are beside themselves about their presents, which is a delight

cloudjumper · 25/12/2014 15:48

Merry Christmas to all of you and a happy/happier New Year! Wishing us all lots of bumps for 2015! xxx

Marchgirl · 25/12/2014 17:07

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you've all had a lovely day with lots of nice food, drink and presents x

TinyTear · 26/12/2014 08:07

Hope you all had a great Christmas.
I had a weird situation and not sure whether to try and reach out to my cousin's wife. I have seen her in years and we weren't that close, but since I got pregnant with dd nearly 4 years ago haven't seen her, just talked on phone for birthdays and stuff...

I suspected something but yesterday they were at my uncle's but by the time we got there only my cousin was there and she had left with some excuse.

Family says she has need too career oriented and didn't want children bla bla the poor cousin. I now think she has had problems, either mc or fertility and now she is 48 so a bit too late... And I think she can't cope with seeing me, pregnant

I never told my family of my MCs, only my mum after I had dd...

longestlurkerever · 26/12/2014 08:39

Hope everyone had good Christmases. Mine was quite nice actually and was lovely seeing dd so excited about her presents. Home tomorrow though which I am ready for.

That's a tricky one tiny. You may well be right but reaching out will be hard if you're not close. You could try and say something to your cousin, if you wanted, but otherwise just carry on being your sensitive self, understanding if she needs to make an exit and sticking up for her if family are being insensitive.

Have been a bit worried about reduced movement yesterday and this morning but it's too early to stress about that, right? I am 18 weeks tomorrow.

tannyLoo · 26/12/2014 10:03

I agree with longest, that seems eminently sensible. Bless you for wanting to reach out x

Longest, I had the same yesterday, and thought I'd be at the MW's before the day was out. I think it was just the busyness of the day. We are jumping around now. If you can hide away for a bit and do the usual checks, it will hopefully offer some reassurance. At 19 weeks mine were still very off and on, which was highly anxiety provoking!

I had a horrendous night and only just woke up after a lie-in. Yesterday was quiet apart from a ridiculously over stimulated toddler high on chocolate money. Bit teary, but not surprising.

girliesaints · 26/12/2014 10:34

Tiny, I agree with longest & Tanny. It's funny how we develop a radar for other people having similar issues.

Longest, hope bump is back being active soon and as Tanny said, in the second trimester everything is still small and has plenty of room so movement is a bit hit & miss.

Off to Xmas mark 2 with my parents today as with oh mum yesterday. Have fun peeps x

bootles · 26/12/2014 17:12

I'm afraid I have sad news. I went to a routine consultant appointment at the hospital on Christmas eve, because the gp had insisted on getting me booked in. He did a routine scan/check, and found no heartbeat. I should have been 9+6, and it looks like it had died very recently, maybe the day before, as there had been further growth since the last scan only 5 days before.

I'm devastated. I had let a little hope in, since I had been found to have high NK cells and was on prednisolone, and had had good scans. DS was with me - I didn't know I would be getting a scan. I was looking at the screen thinking no no no where's the heartbeat...and the Dr treated me like I was his student, totally clinical, pointing out where it should be and so on, without actually saying there wasn't one. Like torture. I held it together because of DS, went home, rang OH, then we all went to a carol concert in the church because DS has never been to one and I was determined to 'do' Christmas for him.

Dear God that carol service was utterly horrific. Constant talk and songs about newborn babies and wombs...'silent night' in a candle lit church makes me emotional at the best of times. It was like holding back a waterfall, and took everything I had not to weep and wail and sob.

So here I am, with five lost pregnancies, all very different. I know I'm old - just turned 41, but other women in their 40's manage to have healthy babies. I feel desperate despair, but am of course being as normal as possible for DS. My mind is everywhere. I am starting to think I can't cope, though I expect I will. My sisters and mum (3 kids each with 1 mc between them) don't know about this one, or the last two. I am wondering whether to open up to them. My father will be horrified I'm sure - issues with OH, we have no money, I'm old. I know its daft but I feel like I have let you guys down as well, because the success stories are so encouraging, and the sad stories are so sad. Keep telling myself to get grip, and reminding myself of how lucky I am to have DS, and how many other awful things there are that can happen that are worse.

I don't really know what to do right now. I'll go to epu on Monday and see when they can do an erpc. I really don't think I can cope passing it at home, when it would be a very recognisable and sizeable foetus..

Sorry for the depressing post, and its long, but I really need to put all this stuff somewhere.

Justonemoretime · 26/12/2014 17:32

Oh Bootles, I'm so, so sorry. My heart goes out to you. There are no words. As inadequate as it is, ((((hugs)))) Sad

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Daisybell1 · 26/12/2014 17:52

Oh Bootles, my heart goes out to you to. So so sorry.

longestlurkerever · 26/12/2014 17:53

bootles I am so, so sorry. What awful news. I was so hopeful for you too. And having to put on a brave face for Christmas for your ds is so heartbreaking. Biggest of hugs. I don't know what else to say. Xxxxx

tannyLoo · 26/12/2014 18:07

Oh Bootles I am so sorry to hear this, I was full of hope for you. And a rough time to be going through this. Please don't beat yourself up about having hope, or about letting us down. The hope is natural and right, and we are here for you through it all.

I had five MCs before this one, and am 42, so please don't give up hope yet on account of your stats.

When you're up to it, I think you should contact Coventry and talk it through with them.

Well done for the brave face, I hope you have some time to grieve soon.

Biggest biggest hugs Sad xxx

girliesaints · 26/12/2014 18:08

(((Big hugs bootles.))) No words we say on here will take away the pain. Don't feel you have let us down, let alone yourself or your family. Look after yourself xxx