missed miscarriage...what happens next?

[blueamema]

Found out had missed miscarriage yesterday at dating scan! (14 wks) as no heartbeat was present and 'bump' was a little small. Thought I would feel okay/better today but am just felling confused and tearful?!? as doctor at hosp said to go home and wait to miscarry/ or have an appointment to go back in 2 wks if havent to discuss other methods??

Have been looking at some other threads and am now worrying that I dont have a clue whats going on!! and am feeling a little confused as to how they can let you go home with dead 'bump' in belly for 2 wks!!!

What is a D&C? and/or ERPC? what do they stand for??

Where can I get some information from about missed miscarriages??

And what happens if I miscarry naturally? Do I need to let the hosp know or just still go in 2 wks to be checked out?

Any advice would be muchly appreciated!
blueamema

I am very sorry for your loss.

D&C stands for dilation and curettage, ERPC for Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception. I don't think there is much difference in the procedures. They involve the cervix being dilated and the miscarried sac and womb lining being (sorry) 'sucked' out. You are under general anaesthetic for it and can usually go home the same day. I have had two and found both times painless. The advantage over waiting to miscarry naturally is that it gets things over and done with. However, it is surgery and there are some (v small) risks to that. If you start miscarrying naturally you should probably go for a check-up, as sometimes some 'products of conception' (I'm sorry, all these hrorid phrases) can be retained, possibly needing a D&C later on. It is also a good idea to have blood tests after the mc/D&C to check your pregnancy hormone levels are returning to normal.

The Miscarriage Association (google for it) can give you more information. I found a useful book on the medical, but also the emotional sideof things is 'Miscarriage' by Lesley Regan.

I should add I have had three miscarriages (all earlier than yours) - the first one happened naturally but was very early indeed and all over with basically by the time it was diagnosed, the second and third I had D&Cs with. I know there are (sdaly) some mums on here who have opted to wait to miscarry naturally and will be able to give you advice on what it is like.

Thanks 'foundintranslation' and so sorry to hear that you have had 3 miscarriages

X

Hi Blue - very sorry indeed for your loss. It is a dreadful experience and do take the time to grieve.

I had tow m/c at 10 weeks and at 18 weeks. The first was an early scan, was sent home to come back but started to m/c naturally that evening. My Dad who is a GP said I must go for a check up and sure enough I needed the D&C. My next m/c started naturally. I went to the hospital and they gave me a scan to find out that the baby had died up to 4 weeks previous. Iw as given a tablet to speed matters. Went back the next day and still needed a D&C.

A friend of mine m/c naturally, did not go for a check up and was extremely ill afterwards. So please do go to the dics/hospital for a scan.

But the emotional pain will take time - but time does heal, honest.

I went on to have another child. Now 2.5 years old.

Thanks boleyn, have 12mth dd/monster here to keep me busy!

I will have to phone epac (early preg centre) where I am supposed to go in 2 wks if I start miscarring naturally to see what they suggest.

bump

Hi blueamema, are you doing OK? I had a m/c in April, and chose to go for ERPC under general anaesthetic, but would have preferred to wait - put having my 4 yr old DD before waiting, though. The staff for ERPC were lovely - sympathetic, friendly and concerned. I was under for 15 mns, woke up fine, no pain afterwards and bleeding stopped after a week. Whatever you choose, it doesn't make the metional impact any less, so do be kind to yourself. Take care.xx

Sorry -emotional. x

thanks arsenelupin.

Not feeling any better really! am still a little confused as to why they are making me wait so long before looking into getting 'bump' out??
After looking on the net and seeing what other MN's have said I just dont understand why they have told me to wait 2 wks?
Am going to phone my midwife tomorrow to have a word with her.
As you mentioned about your 4 yr dd, I feel very much the same having a dd of 12mths.... I just want to get past this and move on! (and get my hormones back to normal)

Anyone out there been in a similar situation? just don't now what to do!
The lady that did the scan said that having an internal scan can sometimes start the m/c off!! But its been 5 days now!

Any help would be very much appreciated X

im sorry to hear about your baby and cant understand why you have to wait two weeks..i had two , the first one the baby had apparently died 3 weeks prior and i was 12 weeks by then and i opted to a erpc to get it over and done with..the very next day after the scan, but then i had problems a week later and ended up being admitted as i was very poorly with an infection..they arent sure whether it was from the erpc or the fact the baby had died and was three weeks!in there!! tmi i know im sorry but i wanted like you to know as much as possible afterwards, anyway my next one was only at 6 weeks and happened naturally.much better to be honest but i understand it varies from person to person and also how many weeks you are. speak to your dr again about your concerns and if you feel it s right for you ask for a erpc...take care

Hi blueamema. FWIW, the person who advised me on the ERPC wasn't keen on using tablets to kick-start an MC, because she said it shifts your hormone levels very quickly, and can be distressing for the body. With a missed MC, your hormone levels start to change slowly and naturally, so you may have been told to wait 2 weeks becasue that's when your body would MC naturally. I was given the choice and was told firmly that waiting is only OK if you are aware that your MC could start at any time, without warning - that's why I went for an ERPC. I'm sorry if this is not the right thing to say to you - take care.

Hi Amema

I had a missed mc at 6 weeks, discovered at 8 weeks. I was given all three options.

The choice is really an individual one. I didn't want to wait for a natural mc as I didn't want to see the "material" coming out. Sorry if that's not the right word - Don't know how else to put it and also didn't want to be caught unawares.

As it was the ERPC was over in 30 mins and I was home same day. I experienced no pain. I then bled for about 4-5 days. This can vary from 2 days to 2 weeks I believe.

The emotional recovery took alot longer. I don't know if it's harder for people who haven't got the consolation of already having kids, but my mum (who mc'd in-between my sisters and me) seems to think it is eased by a future pg that goes well. Don't know as now 6+3 and waiting to see the outcome.

Anyway, whatever the circumstances it's hard and upsetting and give yourself time to grieve. It's really really sad

hi blue so sorry to haer what your going through i went through the same at the beginning of august, was given three options told to go off for a couple of hours to think about it etc not what you really want to do, think at a time like that!! anyway opted for the erpc option in the end as i was nearly 12 weeks but little one prob stopped growing at 7 or 8 weeks i couldn't take too much more in at this point and so went ahead with op under general. it is very daunting and the recovery wasn't perfect but i think it was the right decision i made, hope that last phrase doesn,t put you off, but the nursing staff were fantastic at my local hospital and i couldn't have asked for better. 9 weeks on i still think about it and i am sure i will for a long time to come but it does get easier, hope this helps x

Hi there

I went for my dating scan yesterday, only to find out that there was no heartbeat I would have been 12 weeks yesterday, but they have dated the foetus to 8 weeks 6 days. It is so very weird I don't think I have come to terms with it yet. My body obviously still thinks it is pregnant as I have had no pain, discomfort or a show of any sort. This would have been my second child, my little boy who is now 15 months old, I carried with no problems whatsover.

I am booked in to go and have it removed on Monday, they gave me 3 options, the first was to go home and wait for up to two weeks to see if I would miscarry naturally, but seeing as the baby died about 3 weeks ago that was not seen as an option. The second option was to have tablets, go home, have further ones the next day and then to wait until I miscarried, again, not really an option with a toddler at home, seeing as it can take up to a week to miscarry. The third option was to go in for a general and have it removed in a 10 minute procedure, one I thought was by and far the best option. I can not beleive they have sent you home to wait, I would phone them up and TELL them you want to go and have it dealt with.

All the best xx

I'm very, very sorry, MrsFish.

I will be thinking of you on Monday. The procedure itself is really not that bad.

I will also watch this thread in case you or anyone else on it wants to talk.

Thankyou - I'm sure the finality of it will hit me on monday, mind you last night and tonight I have had rather a lot of wine to drink so its numbing the senses so to speak.

I guess I won't know I will feel till monday, but at the moment I am feeling quite pragmatic about it all, the timing was obviously not right this time round, there is a reason for everything, which is what I am holding on to at the moment.

This sort of 'pragmatism' is largely what's got me through too MrsF (I mc with D&C in July, got pg again immediately and mc that one too, blighted ovum ). Don't be surprised or frightened if you do collapse and feel overwhelming grief at some point. Whatever you feel is absolutely normal. And it will, gradually, get better. Be good to yourself this weekend.

thankyou again for your support

Not at all. Let us know how it went.

Will do

Hi bluemama and MrsFish. Sorry you are going through this.

I had a similar thing last August at 10.5 weeks. We were away on holiday and the hospital told me the same thing about the 2 weeks wait. In my case we came back from holiday on the Saturday after being told this on the Thursday then I started to bleed heavily on the Monday night and went straight to A&E. I couldn't believe how much blood there was- it was distressing. They admitted me and I had an ERPC next day.

In February we had a repeat perfomance at 7 weeks. This time I was sent home and readmitted a few days later (no beds) and lost a lot of blood at home, which was distressing for my teens, who hadn't known I was pg.

I'm now almost 17 weeks and so far (fingers crossed) everything seems OK.

Hi

I have my fingers and toes crossed for you too.

I am hoping I will hold off till monday, I have had a light show today, but no pain or discomfort as of yet.

wow thanks guys... wasnt expecting this much feedback to my thread!

Have so much to say in response to peoples kind and informative words....

JuicyLucy.. Fingers crossed and hope your well?

Evenhope..have my fingers and toes crossed also X

MrsFish.. So sorry to hear you sad news... the thought of someone else going through the same as me is so horrible. I can only hope that your ds is keeping you as busy as my 13 mth dd is to take your mind off it a little!!
My thoughts are with you for monday X AND please let me know how you get on.

I am also on the wine tonight to ignore the fact that I am still very much p'd off that nothing is happening with 'bump'. Still waiting to m/c naturally, but after reading your threads still not sure why my hospital is making me wait 2 wks?? spoke to my midwife this week and she said it was just the way my hospital does things?? and if I had gone to my alternative I could have had erpc within days??!!!

Have got appointment wednesday for another scan and to discuss 'other options'.

Am just a little worried about some of you saying about having infections from 'bumps' being in there for so long?? mine measured 7wks at dating scan when should have been 14, and is now 16 wks!!! surely it should have come out by now!!!!! what am I to expect when it all happens...if it ever does!

Oh god .... sorry guys.. think this is finally sending me mad!

Will let you know what happens this week and thanks again X

wow thanks guys... wasnt expecting this much feedback to my thread!

Have so much to say in response to peoples kind and informative words....

JuicyLucy.. Fingers crossed and hope your well?

Evenhope..have my fingers and toes crossed also X

MrsFish.. So sorry to hear you sad news... the thought of someone else going through the same as me is so horrible. I can only hope that your ds is keeping you as busy as my 13 mth dd is to take your mind off it a little!!
My thoughts are with you for monday X AND please let me know how you get on.

I am also on the wine tonight to ignore the fact that I am still very much p'd off that nothing is happening with 'bump'. Still waiting to m/c naturally, but after reading your threads still not sure why my hospital is making me wait 2 wks?? spoke to my midwife this week and she said it was just the way my hospital does things?? and if I had gone to my alternative I could have had erpc within days??!!!

Have got appointment wednesday for another scan and to discuss 'other options'.

Am just a little worried about some of you saying about having infections from 'bumps' being in there for so long?? mine measured 7wks at dating scan when should have been 14, and is now 16 wks!!! surely it should have come out by now!!!!! what am I to expect when it all happens...if it ever does!

Oh god .... sorry guys.. think this is finally sending me mad!

Will let you know what happens this week and thanks again X

DIDNT MEAN TO ADD MY THREAD TWICE!!!! sorry