Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

bristolian I chose ERPC straight away and felt better almost immediately...MS went very quickly, physically I felt fine. Bled only about a day and really only spotting. MM scared the crap out of me. As I mentioned, they told me that they always do molar testing, but maybe they had some reason to be concerned. I haven't had results from that but I'm going to assume that they would have contacted my GP if so.
My ERPC went as well as it possibly could have, at the hosp 3pm, sobbing as they put me under at 5.30pm (was feeling so upset at that point, like should I just wait to MC), awake by 6.30pm and home just after 8.

Given the choice ERPC is the best option in my opinion. had 2 and the last mc was a medical management only because i had had an erpc only 2 months previously. I hated it... ERPC means closure happens much more quickly.

Waves to bristolian from another Southmead frequent flyer. If this carries on we can have SW meet-ups like the London lot do. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Great news tanny

Great news Tanny

sorry tanny I missed it, woohoooo! I'm so SO pleased for you. I love hearing about success stories

tanny Excellent! Here's to a really boring and uneventful rest of your pregnancy! How many weeks are you now?

Bristol Welcome and sorry you find yourself here (where no one really wants to be...). I can only echo what others have said - ERPC is very straightforward, I really appreciated just going to sleep and then, when I woke up, it was all over. No waiting and worrying what is going to happen when. Minimal pain afterwards, I only took one paracetamol, and very little bleeding. And the relief was overwhelming - such a weight had been lifted. Good luck.

Thanks for all the encouragement guys, it is really helpful x

This is honestly the best board. I felt completely lost after my second MC. The first I thought "oh well that was bad luck" but I was much more worried about getting pregnant again. The second really knocked me for six, particularly as it was a little further along. This board has been a complete lifesaver, so thanks ladies xx

Yay tanny!!

Bristol - I was super worried about GA three weeks ago - having never had it before and it was easiest thing I have ever done. My first two natural mcs were horrible and erpc was so straightforward and very little bleeding afterwards. Also I wouldn't have said no to it as I wanted my pdts tests and didn't want to wait for natural mc to try and 'catch' them.
Good luck!!

Tiny can you please tell me details of the counselling you had?

Bristol I forgot to add that my anaesthetist was v good looking which surely helped!!!

Charlie - I agree! This is the best board ever, so supportive and accepting. Everyone here is so kind and thoughtful even when some of my posts are "me" "me". Thanks everyone!! With each one of you graduating it gives me hope that I will get there too eventually.

My anaesthetist was absolutely mad-looking, like a crazy scientist. I wish I'd had a good looking one! I was sobbing, and she said to me "I'm going to give you something to relax you, here you go, are you feeling more relaxed?" I was like "no! I'm not relaxed! I'm not relaxed! Give me more! I'm not relaxed!"... then the next thing I was waking up in recovery! So obviously I eventually relaxed

Hi Bristol, so sorry for your losses. I think I am very much in the minority that I preferred natural/medical management - Seeing it happen helped me accept it ( i was worried about catching products but still managed it). Having said that, my erpc's were totally fine - painless, straightforward, quick. Also, my consultant recently told me that the chances of getting results from products is reduced in medical mc as there is a higher chance of infection (of products, not woman). ERPC is much more controlled/sterile. It'll be fine.

triple I wouldn't assume that because your pregnancy ended before 6 weeks there was something else going on. I'm not sure that trisomy 22 pregnancy's ever get very far. I didn't see a heartbeat. I found out at 8+6 that there was a sac measuring about 6 weeks, and no embryo. I assume it either died before getting to the stage of being a visible embryo/having a heartbeat or it was only ever teeny and got reabsorbed. I saw a genetics counsellor after my 2nd loss which was tfmr (chromosomes normal) and got in touch with her again after the T22 loss. Apparently it can occasionally have a genetic link, but its much more likely to be a random event and is very common.

I now think maybe the T22 really was random, but all the others have a sinister cause - if all my St Mary's tests normal, and 2 of the 4 losses had normal chromosomes, then what the hell is the problem?! Probably onto NK cell tests for me.

Is this the first loss you were able to have tested? Hope you are doing ok

Ah Tanny that's wonderful! How many weeks are you now? : ). X

Oh I thought that would come up like a proper smiley face. Duh.

Triple, on my phone so don't have the link handy but the site is city pregnancy I think. They are near the barbican.

I agree about this being the best board! As an old-timer, people here feel like friends, people who really care about each other...

I'm 15+2 today, and still reeling at the idea of giving birth. My consultant doesn't want me to go past term, and I have a low lying placenta, which means my local birthing centre is probably off the cards. TBH, I don't give a shit. Give me a living, breathing, crying baby and we'll deal with everything else.

Congratulations Tanny! Is so lovely to get some good news on the thread.

Just to add all my miscarriages have been natural. Early gestation but I have never had a rough ride physically. I wish I had some embryo test results though.

triple I'm going to City Pregnancy as well, link here www.citypregnancy.org.uk/how-to-find-city-pregnancy.htm
It's a charity and they operate on a donation basis which I find a bit weird, but I've had 2 sessions so far and all's going well.

I think I would struggle to put my finger on which is my 'preferred' method of mc (if there is such a thing?!?!). The ERPC was great because it gave me a finite time-frame, I knew what was going to happen when and how, and there was no pain involved.
But I found the physical recovery much more straightforward after the natural and medical miscarriages... I don't now why, but my body seemed to go back to 'normal' very quickly, which in turn helped my emotional healing (I think). And regarding infections, I think they are random - I had one after the ERPC as well as after a natural mc, I think your immune system is down in the dump after any mc, so it can happen very easily.

Tanny, so pleased for you!
Welcome new ladies. Sorry for your losses. I am sure that you will find all of your questions answered by the knowledgeable ladies here!
For what it's worth, I've only ever had ERPCs myself, and I think they are the easiest/quickest/least alarming route.
Sorry I'm quite quiet these days. Still trying to clear my head and not get obsessed, but I'm still lurking. xx

cloud 'preferred' was not the best choice of word for me to use its true. Obviously I prefer not to go through any of it. Difficult to know how else to put it.

In terms of infection, I meant the products of conception (after the actual mc) are apparently more likely to brew an infection in a medical mc, due to them not being collected in a sterile environment and often hanging around for a weekend or overnight before being sent off. Sorry to hear you had infections yourself - that must add insult to injury.

just I hope that your head becomes a little clearer. I know what you mean and am trying to do the same myself, but judging from my quantity of posting today I am clearly failing!

Thanks for the link Charlie and tiny - it's very close to work so should be easy to get to.

Tanny - so please for you!

Got a curve ball today. I wrote to Raj Rai to tell him of my T22 result and given I have had two very early mcs - he replied saying that 40% of people with 3 consecutive mcs have had them due to chromosomal issues in all 3. Prognosis of live birth in such cases depends on a number of factors.

Therefore I should consider ivf with pre genetic screening. I never thought it would come to that and I am starting to research on a whole new area. I don't really want to do it and still hoping it is bad luck. Just surprised as mr r is very conservative and in our first meeting even said that other clinics may try to convince me that I need ivf but I don't.

I am only having my third session on tuesday.
It's bad but one day the counsellor texted me to say she was ill, then the following week i couldn't because of my eating workshop and then the following week she couldn't for family reasons...

At least I have been feeling a bit better with myself, but not sure on these big breaks!

triple that is a curve ball indeed... would that be on NHS or would you have to go private?

triple that's confusing. I think Mr Rai is very conservative in general...he thought I should be on clexane whereas Prof Reagan said that there was nothing wrong with my clotting and it was in the normal range and I shouldn't take it.

Have you and your husband had karyotyping? One thing I think would be really helpful would be to speak to a genetics counsellor - I spoke to one after my T22, (I had seen her previously) She was brilliant and in terms of chromosomes and genetics, has more expertise than those who specialise in RMC. I spoke to her via the Centre for Foetal Medicine in my local hospital (referred there for a previous loss). She is not a doctor, more of a genetics biologist who has been trained in counselling to help people decipher results and make decisions for the future. They really are the experts when it comes to chromosomal issues.

It may be worth trying to speak to someone like that. I do think the RMC can make knee jerk reactions sometimes. I know its exhausting when you have to research a whole new area, so my thoughts are with you.