Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Just think how shot Kate's pelvic floor will be after two babies in such a short time. Picture her in Tena lady under her lovely designer clothes and maybe you won't feel so

I always wondered if they did a bunch of testing on her before they got married, or whether they decided to just chance the possibility of them having problems. I guess with so many other people in the line of succession they weren't bothered. I do think sometimes about all those poor queens in British (& other!) history who had infertility, or recurrent MC, or other issues (e.g. most of the Tudors, and a good smattering of Stuarts). Can you imagine going through what we're going through except with the added pressure to produce an heir, no knowledge of causes or treatment, all the blame they had given it was "all the woman's fault" etc etc...

longest having found out I was pregnant the day we left for Asia and Oz back in the summer, and having had to deal with the morning sickness, I feel for your inner conflict! I flew 45h in economy over weeks 5,6,7 of the pregnancy and it was rough. But of course I would do it all again to have a healthy baby. I don't in any way feel that it's connected to my MC but I do feel a bit put out that I had all that sickness & discomfort and nothing to show for it!
Did you sort out your hotel in Syd?

Charlie I have never suffered too badly with morning sickness, even in my healthy pregnancy so I am (perhaps naively) discounting that side of things. It's more the idea of being far away from St Mary's and worries about whether there are any risks of being on a plane for that long (though feel better about that now I have the all clear re clotting disorders). Probably a low chance anyway as I have never conceived this quickly after an mc but I have got one or two symptoms which I am obviously not obsessing about at all, oh no.

I am extremely jealous of your lack of MS! That and the tiredness have been my major symptoms. I was pretty sure I was preg last time after I fell asleep in the car on the way to a work away day! I can understand being worried. I wore compression socks on the plane and walked around a lot just to be careful. I hated not being in the UK (both times I've spent those early weeks elsewhere, next time I'm not bloody leaving the country for ANY REASON). Australia's obviously got very good healthcare but it is obvi better being close to your primary carers. I guess don't stress about it until you have to (haha, I'm quoting my husband, he would be so proud!)

Sorry that was a silly thing to write. Obviously we'd all take a sickness-filled healthy pregnancy any day.

Don't worry Charlie, the sickness I've had this time round has been comforting, just to know my hormones are working, but I have also hated every nauseous moment as it is so hard, and then I tell myself off for not being happier. Ffs!

And I had to go to H&M yesterday to find some leggings as I'm rapidly running out of clothes. Maternity is next to baby clothes, and I stood there blubbing at the baby outfits. As much as I can accept that I am pg, I can't get past the feeling that it's all going to go badly wrong. I guess that's why I'm still here...

tanny Aww, the hormones. Isn't it sad that we won't ever be able to enjoy pregnancy ever again? But you are in a good place, every day is one step further towards that ultimate goal. And we're happy to have you on here as long as you want to stay!

AF arrived today in full swing, after having taunted me with spotting for a few days. I started getting irrationally cross, fretting about when to re-set my CBFM monitor and start a new chart on FertilityFriend. Now I just want to punch somebody cry . Having to start the whole rigmarole over again each much is really wearing me down.

Sorry, rant over. Will watch GBBO tonight to soothe my soul

Charlie. Don't worry - I agree. Sickness is horrible, though I longed for it in my last pg as really wanted to feel pregnant. The tiredness for me was the worst.

Hugs Tanny and cloud. It's sad, isn't it? I loved being pregnant first time round. Ignorance is bliss eh?

Ah longest you were lucky not to have issues on your first pregnancy.

As my first ended at 10w, I have never enjoyed one since... ok maybe with my DD i enjoyed between 20 and 30 weeks... but that was it...

Tanny - I am so excited for you. Already clothes shopping. Hope we all get there in the end.

Sorry for the silence ladies as not much going on and I have tried to stay away from the thread to avoid getting obsessed.

Anyway sorry to see you go cat - but hopefully we will get good news soon.

Some news from me - it was a male foetus and trisomy 22. So now very confused about where to go from here. Do I carry on with Dr S immunes and start again when I am ready etc? They have offered us karyotyping so we will probably go for that as I am probably not ready to TTC just yet. Not quite sure how I shld feel about trisomy 22 - any thoughts?

I've actually bought a couple of things each pregnancy. After my first MC I bought an adorable "I love Daddy" onesie which I gave to my DH. He was so gutted I wanted to let him know that I was staying positive that it would happen for us eventually. The 2nd was tough as I had really bad MS and was just started getting excited & buying stuff when we found out it wasn't going to make it. It's all in a box in a cupboard at the moment. My (fingers crossed) future kid is going to have A LOT of toys based on what I've already got!

I think it's part of the process. It doesn't make it any easier or in fact any worse. I think it's normal to be both scared and excited. Sometimes I think that the toys and clothes I've got are almost like presents to my take home baby from his/her older siblings.

I feel so bloody naive talking about a take-home but I HAVE to stay positive or I'd go mad.

Charlie that's really sweet.

Thanks all, it's good to know we all have a bit if madness...

tanny I think it's totally reasonable that we all have a lot of madness! It's a huge thing to have to go through over & over, it puts a lot of strain on you, on your life, your relationship etc etc.

I'm still so freaking ANGRY about it all, I threw a glass of water across our living room the other day because I was just so pissed off that we're in this situation. But I'm also so so so sad.

Hence the counsellor

Confession time. I bought one thing before I was even pregnant. It was a sailboat mobile that I just fell in love with while on holiday on France. I was ttc but not pregnant. Told myself it would make a lovely gift for a friend's baby but really it was for future dd. She has it in her room and it reminds me how lucky I am to have her. Your baby clothes will do the same.

Triple. Hugs. Your plan sounds a good one. I think cloud had a trisomy 22 diagnosis. She said it helped to know there was a reason for the mc. I think trisomies are random and there is no reason to think it will happen again. It is a big step to ttc again though. Totally understand you not feeling ready.

triple Hugs to you. It is so confusing, isn't it?! Have you spoken to Dr S about the result yet and how they could impact his treatment plan?

I've had trisomy 2 and 18 in the two miscarriages that were tested. The good news is the bad news at the same time - there is nothing you can do about it. No treatment, no drugs etc. Even karyotyping might not be too conclusive for this (although if they are offering it, I'd do it - won't hurt), because it's very unlikely that they will find anything that causes this, they are spontaneous events. DH and I are both genetically fine, and it still happened.

I felt a bit deflated when we were told about the trisomy after the last mc - I had been gearing myself up for going down the NK cell testing route, but there is probably no point in doing that now, if I'm losing babies due to chromosomal abnormalities. I just wanted to do something.

On the other hand, there is a very good chance that it won't happen again. I realise that I am not the best example here, but I do believe my consultant who said that the possibility of it happening again is much lower for any future pregnancy, and that I have a good chance for it all to be OK next time.
My age is my issue here, and I can accept that this pushes the risk up. But the odds still give hope - for example, the risk for Downs in women over 40 is 1:60, which calculates to a 98% chance that everything will be fine. I can't remember how old you are triple, sorry, but I would say that chromosomal abnormalities, while un-treatable and therefore frustrating, are not that bad a diagnosis.

What has also helped me is to remind myself that my body has been doing the right thing by mc-ing non-viable pregnancies, so in a twisted way, this is reassuring.

So for now, DH and I are trying to do our bit by throwing lots of money taking supplements that are meant to help with egg and sperm quality. And hoping for the best...

I hope this helps - please feel free to pm me if you like!

Eek, just found out that my genetic testing results were sent to the hosp instead of my gp. Lovely GP is requesting them directly so should find out within the next week or so. For the reasons you girls were talking about above, I have very mixed feelings about what i want it to be...

Glad you got some results Charlie. Either way it will help you decide your best course of action.

hi everyone, i haven't posted for a while, i thought i was pregnant a few months ago but false alarm but i got a bfp today, i have had 2 mmc and a mp, terrified of another mp

Purple - congrats!! Hope this is the one. Are you on any treatment plan?

Cloud, longest - thanks for the support. Yes as they say chances of another one are low - but then I wonder whether my first two mcs were also chromosomal which would suggest all my eggs are bad!! In some ways a normal outcome would mean I could keep on looking for a solution but now there isn't one.

Cloud I am 36 - just heard another pg announcement -a 35 yr old colleague who conceived quickly. Feel happy for her but upset why it can't be me! Why do I have to have the chromosomal abnormality. Thanks for the advice - we will do the blood tests anyway given they are being offered by NHS.

Charlie - good luck for next week. I know about mixed feelings. I think if I had got a normal outcome - I would have been upset why it wasn't chromosomal lol. See either way I wouldn't be happy haha. Hope you get the outcome you are secretly hoping for!

Congratulations purple hope everything goes well. I'll be thinking of you these anxious early weeks.

I don't know how I'd feel about a trisomy. I was gutted when MC4 came back normal, after my NHS tests were also normal. DH was all pleased and saying " well that's good" ( bless 'im, he never got to grips with it all) and I was in floods of tears saying "that means it's all my fault"
As cloud says there is some comfort in knowing that a) the baby never stood a chance and b) your body did what it was supposed to do in that situation.

Two pg announcements today!! If one wasn't enough sigh.

Thanks baking - I know but I am just worried that the immune issues are just a red herring and it's actually recurrent chromosomal issues. Let's see :)

I do find interesting the theory that some multiple MC sufferers have un-choosy wombs... that we implant babies that others would reject. Goes back to the discussion we were having a couple of weeks ago about the same topic. I certainly seem to get pregnant pretty easily. I was talking to my counsellor about that today - that after the first MC I was terrified I wouldn't get pregnant again, while now I assume I will but it's a matter of whether I can hold on to it. It's killing me knowing that my GP has the result but I cna't find out yet! But DH is away on an important business trip and I know he needs to keep his head in that. I couldn't tell him either way on the phone, he just doesn't know the ins & outs the way we all do! Hopefully the GP can explain it all to him in a way he will understand.

It makes sense Charlie and presumably would mean it's a matter ( I hesitate to say 'just') of keeping trying till you get a healthy one. Sadly it doesn't seem to be the case for me. I am definitely not super-fertile. I think I have the opposite problem of difficulties implanting.

I would be on tenterhooks too. Hope you get the answer soon.