Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

990 replies

bakingtins · 02/08/2014 10:39

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

OP posts:
JBrd · 04/08/2014 06:53

What time is your scan, tanny? Good luck, hope the nerves aren't too bad. Xx

TinyTear · 04/08/2014 07:06

Good luck Tanny

About the other matter I don't know... It is something that worries me also as I am older and wouldn't want to leave the responsibility on my current daughter

I don't know...

tannyLoo · 04/08/2014 07:17

It's at 2pm. Eek.

Tiny everyone is so different, I say I can cope with it, but it's all theoretical. Until we know we have to consider it, we just don't know...

Cat, I understand your concerns re media portrayal of surrogacy, but I think it has really improved over recent years. I hope this is just a blip.

Justonemoretime · 04/08/2014 08:21

Good luck today Tanny, all the signs say it'll be fine. Thinking of you. xx

Catlover2014 · 04/08/2014 09:16

Good luck for today tanny we'll all be thinking about you!! XxX

JBrd · 04/08/2014 09:37

I'm with tiny as in 'I just don't know', regarding the issue with the story with the boy with Down's syndrome and the couple abandoning him.
Of course it's a very sad story, but I am wondering if the world has been told the whole story, or if some details have been left out to make the story more interesting.
It is very easy to condemn the couple, but they might have said right from the beginning that they did not want a child with Down's - as so many others do! Twins obviously complicate everything, but surely there was/is a contract in place (I'm assuming, maybe a bit naively) to address every possible scenario. I just wonder if there is more to this whole story than we know.

As for myself - I really don't know what I would do, should I be pg and get the diagnosis of Down's. Being given the high risk after the combined screening, we got very close to that last time, but any attempt of discussing what we would do, should we get the news that the baby had Down's, failed - DH and I both felt that we couldn't just hypothesize, we needed to know for sure first.

In the past, I always have been quite categorical to say that I would not continue a pregnancy with a Downs diagnosis, whereas DH was at least willing to consider it.
But now we have had DS and the 4 mcs, it's almost as if our positions have changed. In the run up to the CVS, I was quite willing to consider continuing, whereas DH now feels that it would be unfair to DS... Which I completely get, and agree with! We are both in our 40ies, and it's quite likely that DS will have to fend for himself at quite a young age (ironically, one of the reasons we want another!). So it seems unfair to increase his burden...
On the other hand, I kept thinking, what if I terminate because of Down's, and DS then asks us in a few years 'Why did you do that?! Because of me?!' - that would break my heart. It is just so unpredictable.

In spite of all that has happened, I am glad that we did not have to make that awful awful choice whether to continue or not.

I am, however, still quite certain that, if anything other than Downs was found, I would not continue a pregnancy.
Friends of ours had their second DD last year, and she has been diagnosed with a condition that means high-grade disability/special needs, severe developmental issues and low life expectancy. Their daughter will never walk or talk. It is utterly heartbreaking, and my heart goes out to them. But even they say, had they found out about this at any point during the pregnancy, they would have terminated.

So yeah, I just don't know... I think that cases like these can't be compared to one another, it really needs to be looked at on individual case-by-case basis. It is definitely a 'I'll cross that bridge when I get to it' from me.

TinyTear · 04/08/2014 09:48

Just got the Coventry results.

Bloody fucking NORMAL again
1.66% for my uNK cells when upper normal level is 5%

So another avenue closed... I was hoping that was what was wrong with me... Now I have the call booked for the 12th but I am testing on Wednesday so in case of BFP shall have to ring them earlier...

Tempted to actually test tomorrow instead to call them as it seems Tuesday is call day...

Sigh
Don't know what to feel. I was hoping to have something wrong with me...

Justonemoretime · 04/08/2014 10:04

Tiny, your Coventry results are pretty much identical to mine. When you talk to the profs they will prob say that just because nk cells are fine, it doesn't mean you don't have an implantation issue, they won't fob you off and call it bad luck. They'll probably still advise the progesterone and the heparin, but not the steroids. I know it's frustrating, but don't lose hope Smile Testing early and calling tomorrow sounds like a place. good luck! x

JBrd · 04/08/2014 10:30

Oh tiny

I know how you feel. Isn't it awful that we wish that there is something wrong Sad But I am the same - diagnose me with something and then give me the magic pill that will make it all go away and guarantee a successful pregnancy! We truly live in a perverted world.

TinyTear · 04/08/2014 11:52

Thanks all. Let's see how it goes with the testing...

Ahrgh sometimes normal isn't good sigh...

bakingtins · 04/08/2014 14:08

tiny strange need when it sucks to be normal! I hope they are still able to offer you treatment, and that you get your BFP to be treated tomorrow.

tanny everything crossed for you.

OP posts:
Catlover2014 · 04/08/2014 17:35

tiny sorry you didn't get the answer you're looking for. It is so frustrating to have no answers. I am sure they can still help you. All fingers crossed for BFP and sticky bean this time. XxX

TinyTear · 04/08/2014 18:07

Thanks. Got a first response and will see how it goes tomorrow...

Catlover2014 · 04/08/2014 18:14

Good luck tiny we're all keeping our fingers crossed. Has anyone heard from tanny yet?

I feel a bit crap tonight ladies. It should have been my due date today. We've planted a new rose bush in the garden to remember the baby by. Hope it gives me some feelings of closure.

XXX

tannyLoo · 04/08/2014 18:29

Heartbeat, measuring 8.5ish weeks, wriggling it's legs! At 20mm it has legs!

Have all the meds I need to see me though to 12 weeks, and Coventry don't need to see me again.

Phew.

Tiny it is shit, but if I can do this, so can you xxx

Justonemoretime · 04/08/2014 18:31

Good luck Tiny, fx it works out for the best. We'll watch this space with anticipation :)

Cat, ((Hugs)), hope you can find some peace, and enjoy your rose bush flourishing. It's a mile stone to recognise, for sure, but do try to look forward to happier times hopefully coming your way soon, too.

I've been for my cognitive hypnotherapy session today, to try to get my subconscious 'chimp' brain back on board the 'me' bus (my words, it was actually very relaxing and sensible). I have a recording to listen to at night, too. Hopefully I will feel less stressed about things soon. To be fair, I'm not depressed or stressed really, but I have been feeling 'stuck' in pessimistic thought patterns (It will never happen for me, etc.) and I can only think that they are holding me back. We'll see.

Tanny, hope you're OK?

Justonemoretime · 04/08/2014 18:32

Cross post! Yay Tanny, huge congratulations! Grin xx

bakingtins · 04/08/2014 18:37

Fantastic tanny a positive scan at 8-9 weeks is a huge milestone! So pleased for you Grin

cat sending you Flowers due dates are tough.

OP posts:
Catlover2014 · 04/08/2014 18:52

Whoop tanny that's such great news!!! Hurrah to baby moving his/her little legs for you. Massive congrats to you and DH Smile. XXX

Catlover2014 · 04/08/2014 18:54

Thank you just and baking xx

tannyLoo · 04/08/2014 18:59

Oh Cat, due dates are horrible! I'm sure your rose will flourish and maybe passing the date will help. ((hugs))

Catlover2014 · 04/08/2014 19:22

Thank you Flowers xxx

TinyTear · 04/08/2014 19:50

Yay Tanny!!!
So happy!

Can you remind me what your uNK levels were? Are you just on progesterone and heparin?

TinyTear · 04/08/2014 19:51

Hugs Cat... Due dates are terrible... My next one will be October...

tannyLoo · 04/08/2014 20:44

Hey Tiny, mine were 2.2 so similar to you. I'm also on prednisolone, but that was a catch-all because my results weren't back. TBH, it is the heparin that I think is making a difference, that and the scratch. Of course I have no basis for this...