Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Afternoon all

Hi ididnt sorry you're here, I'm 31 as well, I'm sure like me you find it really frustrating being told by health professionals "don't worry too much, you're still really young" grrrr...didn't stop me having 2 mcs did it?

Had my first counselling today, she asked whether I thought I should take time off ttc, basically whether I thought I'd have a complete breakdown if I had another MC. Well no, it's amazing how much you can deal with emotionally when you have no choice. Lots of tough questions, the worst of which was "what has brought you here today"... mostly because I know counselling can't solve anything. I spoke to DH afterwards, and he said "well, you just want to talk about it right? So that's your answer..." Smart boy, he is :)

I'm finding it really hard when people mention my "one miscarriage" (like the counsellor said "you're here because of your miscarriage?" I feel like screaming MISCARRIAGES! TWO OF THEM! It's happened a couple of times and I really irrationally feel like they are being diminished.

Hello can I join you? I went to the FMC this morning to have the harmony test but I didn't get passed the viability test. I am 10+3 but it seems my bean stopped growing at about 7 weeks. I'm not sure I can deal with this. I had a very early miscarriage at the end of May and it all seemed to good to be true to get pregnant again so quickly. I am 40 so knew the risks were higher, but still.. Fortunately I do have a DS8 . So I guess I need to cope for his sake.

I've been told to go to the EPu tomorrow at midday but have realised an ERpC is covered under our private medical insurance so waiting to hear back from them too. I just feel numb.

I didn't tell work last time but have emailed and told them what's happening as I can't lie about something so big and their response was really supportive.

I don't know if I can go through all of this again x

Hi sleepingflower sorry you're finding yourself here. You'd be surprised at how much you can deal with, you just soldier on! I don't know where your local NHS hospital is but I had my erpc a few weeks ago at UCLH in London and they were terrific, I think it's probably worth going to the EPU to see what it's like, NHS can be totally fine. I got a quote for private and it was going to be GBP2500...

Wow that's a lot! I think it will be covered by our medical insurance so we would only have to pay the excess. Will see how it goes tomorrow my local hospital is St. Peter's in chertsey. Thank you x

Tomorrow is the day of my booked d&c and is it weird that I feel nervous about this? Like I know that my bean stopped growing but finding it really hard to divest this second time round. I want to try again but I am so worried that it will happen a third time and I just couldn't bear it. Feeling scared.

Good luck today Shruddy.
Hope you're feeling comfortable, Triple.
Waves to everyone, welcome to newbies.
Back to school... next stop October... let the madness begin!

Good luck sruddy don't worry, I was so worried beforehand and cried all the way until they put me to sleep, but I felt about a million times better afterward. In a way it's good to have it over so you can start rebuilding and healing. Hugs xx

Good luck sruddy I will be feeling the same I think x

Good luck today Sruddy... I understand the fear but for me mc3 meant i could start testing... (grumble 3 in a row rule grumble)

Welcome Sleeping so sorry about that.... I also want to go to the FMC for Harmony but will wait until after the NHS tests first... I know it's cheaper at 10w, but can't bear to do it sooner...

Good luck Sruddy, thinking if you.

Thinking of you today sruddy hope it goes smoothly and you are well looked after.

sleepingflower welcome to the thread! I'm sorry you find yourself here. if you have private medical insurance it's worth finding out if it would cover some testing at this stage, in particular testing of genetic material from this miscarriage. The other tests can be done down the line, for some of them you need to be a few months post MC anyway, but you only get one chance to find out if the MC was due to chromosomal factors or something else. You are not officially eligible for NHS tests after 2 MC but some people have persuaded a sympathetic GP to run some particularly if age or difficulty conceiving are an issue. Depending on your policy and what it covers you might be better having ERPC on the NHS and saving your cover for tests?

Thinking of you sruddy. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible. I think any op is a bit nerve racking, even without all the emotional links of a D&C. Look after yourself today.

Sleeping - very sorry to hear about your loss. I hope the appointment today goes smoothly. I've not had a D&C before but generally speaking I've found NHS care really good in terms of 'immediate' care (such as immediately post-mc) but obviously have had to wait for testing which has always been frustrating more so now causes are actually being found and it wasn't bad luck after all grr. Although Tins makes a good point that it might not be possible to convince the NHS to do genetic testing for a second loss (although I've never had genetic testing either so don't panic if you find you can't get this). Wishing you a 'good enough' experience whatever you decide.

I'm feeling pretty good today. Loved seeing pictures of my new corrected uterus. Feeling far more positive and excited now (something I probably need to rein it in a little). Have even re-started conception vitamins which I haven't touched since the last miscarriage. Holiday on Thursday too - much needed breather pre-ttc roller coaster.

Just - were you given the go ahead to start trying again at your feedback appointment a month or so after septate removal or was it longer? Thank you for letting me know that DH would be sent away by the way (I think it as you who told me this) as that would've been a bit of a shock without warning I think. Are you able to tell me what to expect from the HRT and other drug that starts later? Will AF come at the normal time or does it stop it? Sorry I completely forgot to ask sensible questions after the op.

How is little Faith Tins?

Hugs to all x

Good luck for today Sruddy, we're all thinking about you. Hopefully once this stage is behind you the future will begin to look brighter. Make sure DH looks after you and you have some nice treats along the way.

Welcome to the feed sleeping. I am so sorry for your losses, it is just the pits and no-one understands until they have been there. The ladies on here are all knowledgeable and kind and we help one another to keep going through the bad times. There are lots of happy stories on here too, so it's worth taking a look at those on the days when you need some inspiration.

Sorry I can't name check everyone (at work today) but I am waving hello to you all and wishing you all a good month.

Work is awful today. All talk about the lovely summer holidays, back to school, new uniforms, nurseries and nappies. Being childless really does make me feel like a fish out of water in this place.

My mood is not being helped by the fact I have a rotten cold and my BBT temp dipped quite low today (only 8dpo).

xx

Cat - Sorry to hear you're not having a particularly good day. Any chance you and DH can book a bit of a break away after the schools go back? We did it last minute and its much cheaper outside of school holidays - we have to take these advantages to being childless where we can! Although thinking about it you will then risk the parents at work complaining about how expensive it is to go away during the school holidays and you're so lucky to be able to. Grrrr (I'm managing to get annoyed by a situation which is pure fantasy now - that's a new low!)

Hi Twilight! How's the recovery going? I hope you're feeling ok.

We're having a long weekend in York in a few weeks for DH's birthday, which will be fab, but as are trying to save our money for IVF we'll have to watch the pennies while we're up there.

I'm doing a voluntary placement at a parent and toddler session for one afternoon every other week. It's to get official child care experience should we need to adopt but I find it so hard going. My inner green eyed monster just erupts after I've left, all smiles in there of course.

We just have to keep going and keep smiling. Rainbow babies are on their way.

Hi Twilight, glad it went OK. Did they put a coil(s) in? I had them in for 1 month and had the oestrogen with progesterone from day 19 HRT. We were 'good to go' from the day Prof Regan removed the coils. I thought the HRT would overrule my cycle but it didn't; I came on at the normal time. It was much heavier than normal, though. Hope it's all straight forward for you. (BTW, I think I called you by the wrong name the other day. Sorry about that!)

Sorry you're having a low day, Cat. Things will get better. :)

Waves to everyone!

• the oestrogen was from the day of the op, the progesterone was added at day 19 - sorry if that wasn't clear.

Thanks Just things will get better for us all. Just have to keep working at it. Hugs x

Glad things went well twilight and you are feeling more positive.

Sruddy and sleeping I hope things go well for you too.

Welcome I need. Sorry you need us but glad you found us.

Sorry if I have missed anyone. Have been busy actually doing some work for once. Popping into St Mary's tomorrow for another blood test but don't think I will get a chance to ask any questions till the follow up appointment after I get back from Oz.

On that note, I have a question for Charlie. I need to book somewhere for one night in Sydney for our last night. Can be cheap and cheerful but needs to be easy to get to and from the airport. Any idea which district I should be looking in?

Longest, I'm at St Mary's for a blood test tomorrow too! Late morning. When are you there?

Sorry Just. Got overexcited at Longest being st St Msrys tomorrow. Yes I've got a coil in and am on the same medication regime you describe. Is having the coils out painful? A friend told me its agony (helpful) but she's a bit melodramatic so I'm hoping she's exaggerating!

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and the words of advice. It was fine at the EPU they recommended I went for the ERPC. The earliest they can do it is a week on Friday! When I mentioned we were thinking of going privately and the nurse said she thinks that would be for the best as that is an unusually long wait.

Thanks for the info about testing - will definitely ask about it when we eventually get seen.

DS has come back from my parents today and has proved a good distraction and a realisation that I have no choice but to cope with all of this.

Ooh, 12, just! But could make it a little earlier and have coffee if you wanted? Will have dd with me though.

twilight, even!

Good luck with the private route sleeping. Glad they were kind, if lacking in appointments.