Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Morning lovely ladies to you all. This thread moves so fast I can't keep up!

Cloud I was sad to read your post and to know you were feeling so low. Wish I could give you a RL hug, you've had a tough week. I don't know if it's possible but can you and DH head off somewhere for a night or two just the two of you? Or maybe just go out for a meal? It may give you a chance to talk through some of the things you're feeling right now. I hate it when people won't talk about mcs and it's brushed under the carpet so I know just how you feel. There is nothing worse.

Welcome Sruddy, so sorry for your 2nd loss. Virtual hugs a plenty in your direction. This feed is full of lovely supportive ladies and we will all try to help you as much as we can. Do you mind me asking are you TTC for #1? How old are you and how long have you been trying? It may be worth asking your GP for some blood tests. I've had two mcs and they have run tests for me although I did have 4 yrs of infertility 1st so that may be the only reason why.

Brummiegirl sounds like you've been feeling low and that hormonal dip is just the worst isn't it? I hope you will take more time out from work if you're not feeling better by Monday. I rushed back to work after my second mc and it was a big mistake.

Survivor I'm glad the ERPC went to plan, you're being very brave. The worst part of a mc is when you still feel pregnant. It's so cruel . I love your MN name btw.

In my RL I have had three pregnancy announcments in two weeks to smile through. Cried for about an hour this morning before coming into work qas it's day 17 and my bbt temp is not indicating a BFP for this cycle. Oh and now I'm in the office and they are planning the Christmas party the thought of Christmas coming and seeing everyone at work with the children's toys just sickens me to the core right now.

Morning lovely ladies to you all. This thread moves so fast I can't keep up!

Cloud I was sad to read your post and to know you were feeling so low. Wish I could give you a RL hug, you've had a tough week. I don't know if it's possible but can you and DH head off somewhere for a night or two just the two of you? Or maybe just go out for a meal? It may give you a chance to talk through some of the things you're feeling right now. I hate it when people won't talk about mcs and it's brushed under the carpet so I know just how you feel. There is nothing worse.

Welcome Sruddy, so sorry for your 2nd loss. Virtual hugs a plenty in your direction. This feed is full of lovely supportive ladies and we will all try to help you as much as we can. Do you mind me asking are you TTC for #1? How old are you and how long have you been trying? It may be worth asking your GP for some blood tests. I've had two mcs and they have run tests for me although I did have 4 yrs of infertility 1st so that may be the only reason why.

Brummiegirl sounds like you've been feeling low and that hormonal dip is just the worst isn't it? I hope you will take more time out from work if you're not feeling better by Monday. I rushed back to work after my second mc and it was a big mistake.

Survivor I'm glad the ERPC went to plan, you're being very brave. The worst part of a mc is when you still feel pregnant. It's so cruel . I love your MN name btw.

In my RL I have had three pregnancy announcments in two weeks to smile through. Cried for about an hour this morning before coming into work qas it's day 17 and my bbt temp is not indicating a BFP for this cycle. Oh and now I'm in the office and they are planning the Christmas party the thought of Christmas coming and seeing everyone at work with the children's toys just sickens me to the core right now.

bootles it totally should be "bonking daily"!!

brummie us too... well we are using the withdrawal method but neither of us will be disappointed if we have an "accident" and fall preg again quickly. We waited 2 AFs after mc1 then took 3 months to fall again which was emotionally very difficult for me (although i know 3months is very very fast!)
A friend of mine had a baby a couple of months ago after falling pregnant the cycle after a 2nd trimester loss (no af between). She freaked out when she found out she was pregnant again but it all worked out!

Morning all. Chance to dtd would be a fine thing! But DH is away and we've decided to at least wait until AF shows up before actively ttc. I'm still testing positive nearly 3 weeks after I passed the sac and two weeks since stopping bleeding so looks like I'll be waiting a while for AF to show up, even assuming my cycle doesn't go awol post mc. Grr.

Hi Sruddy and Survivor and welcome. I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now, and hope you will find some comfort in sharing your stories with us here. I've also just had my 2nd mc ttc #1. NHS don't want to test until I've had a 3rd mc - which I keep telling myself really is a good sign as 99 out of 100 people have a healthy pg even after 2 mc in a row. It still feels rather cruel as if they're just waiting for us to have another disaster before they help. It's also taken us a long time to conceive at all and I'm no spring chicken so we'll see how long I maintain this attitude!

Cloud and Brummie, sorry you're feeling so low. Although it's horrible, this is normal and I think is part of the healing process. Pretending it's not a big deal and trying to sail on through is a mistake that I've made before and really delayed my emotional recovery. Cloud I know it's difficult with dc's but I often find that getting out of the house - for a walk or a coffee or a pint - helps when I want to get DH to have a proper talk about Stuff.

bonking daily is a much better translation than baby dancing!

Just had a silent cry at my desk at work. My miscarriage book by prof Regan has arrived. I don't want this to be real anymore. After five years and still no baby how do I keep going? xx

Aw Cat so sorry... in the middle of it all I can't complain as we only started TTC in 2010... although this means I had 5 mcs + 1 DD in 4 years

I hope the book brings some light into why this is happening...

Can't help much as my DD was a blooming miracle as I didn't do anything different with her (she better find the cure for cancer or make me rich when she grows up

Remind me again, do you have a plan of action for your next pregnancy? (progesterone, etc)

Oh cat. A big hug for you. It's overwhelming when these thoughts take you by surprise. Hang in there and know we're all here for you.

Thanks effin and Tiny. It's a bad day today but I'll pick up.

I'm on progesterone now (take it day 16 - 28 as well as letrozole day 2-6) and carry on with cyclogest if I have a BFP.

I think I'm going to need IVF as the drug combo hasn't worked so far and my bbt is really too low. My CCG has taken my IVF funding away due to my mcs (even though they were as a result of treatment) so we have to pay privately.

I just want to be a mummy so baddly :(

That is annoying!

Keep an eye out for offers... a friend of mine after a failed cycle on the NHS (her trust only offered once cycle) was chosen for a free cycle at the Lister as they sometimes have these offers with very specific criteria... (she got a daughter out of it...)

This way she only had to pay the train fares from (northern town - don't want to identify her too much) to london and not the full ivf...

Oh thanks, that's well worth knowing and I'll look into that! Is it your scan on Tuesday? How many weeks are you now?

Got all sobby in my acupuncture session today. DH went as well and they told him he's the picture of health. I got mad at him as in my mangled brain that means it is all my fault. Apparently i am very weak. Yeah, i had an MC argh. I am taking the herbs as well so fc things will get sorted out.

Wednesday... I am 7+1 today... but won't believe it until the 12 week scan... if I get there...

You're doing well! I'll keep everything crossed for you!!! x

Hugs to you charlie. You are actually very strong, look at what you've come through. Recovery takes time xxx

Cat my miscarriage book by Prof Regan arrived too yesterday ! But to be honest, most of it I already knew.

I thought it might have the answer. It doesn't sadly. Mn is actually far better.

A lot of it's new to me, I'm much more informed on infertility issues than miscarriage one. She's made me feel pretty grim abt my chances as i have a luteal phase issue and I'm having to take progesterone to get pregnant in the 1st place.

How are you feeling today brummiegirl? X

Having a really bad day today. Every time I sleep or close my eyes I wake up and it's like being told the news all over again. I haven't managed to get dressed today or even eat. I feel awful plus I'm starting to get pains in my lower belly and back. I just wish this was a dream.

Hugs sruddy the bad days are more than understandable.

Cried lots tonight myself, feel sure my chances of being a mother are very low after reading my mc book ?? xxx

Sorry so many are suffering at the moment. It will get better. Hugs to you. I'm on my phone so can't add much. I've been focusing on my mental health and getting back to 'normal', and my cognitive hypnotherapy seems to be going well. So I'm lurking a bit at the moment, trying to sort my head our, but my thoughts and well wishes are will you all. xx

Hi just it's lovely to see you! Glad cognitive treatment is helping, it is good stuff. Keep in touch! Xx

Sorry to those who are struggling today. It's so hard sometimes hey. Hugs and thoughts to you all. There will be better days, there will. Just get through today - one day at a time xx

@catlover2014 I'm so sorry for what you are also going through. I feel like everywhere I look atm people are pregnant or have babies. I feel like I don't want to carry on atm. What you're going through and having to take all of these drugs must be so difficult and for that I send you lots of hugs. I know many people say when you stop trying it happens? Less stress on your body I found that with my most recent pregnancy even though it ended the way that it did. I've been actively trying since my first miscarriage which was in January 2014 and have had 2 miscarriages in 6 months. Feeling horrendous and like a failure.

Hi Sruddy two mc in one year. That's so hard. Hugs to you it's really no wonder you're emotional. to you.

You most certainly are not a failure and you mustn't blame yourself. Mcs happen to women from all walks of life and as my book says it's almost never down to something the woman has or hasn't done.

We've been trying since May 2009 and I was very relaxed for the first 3 years so I don't think stress is our barrier despite what people say. My medical issues, low LH and low progesterone levels is much more likely to be the issue.

As my consultant says "women have babies in war and famine" and I figure they must be much more stressed than we all are. Please don't beat yourself up! You'll get there xxxx

Hello. Sorry to everyone feeling low. Reading all your posts I felt so sad. I really think we will all get there in the end and there will be a whole bunch of lucky babies that will know they were truly wanted.

cloud sorry, I said I would come back to the thread and then got stuck in traffic for hours and mislaid my tablet (unconnected events but was too knackered to look properly!) I hope things are better with dh now. I have been arguing a but with mine too, but nit directly about ttc. Guess it all feeds in though.

Generally have been feeling a bit better the last few days though. Work has been crazy busy so more of a proper distraction and am pleased with how my get fit plan us going as already being better for just being a bit more careful over what I am eating.

cat I know what you mean about the book. It didn't give an easy fix to the hormone issue and I think that is my problem too. Perversely I took heart from it though. At least it's an explanation and it's not something with a 100 per cent failure rate. Dd is proof of that as nothing about my cycle has changed since pre dd. I feel calmer as I was finding it hard to swallow the just bad luck line and it was making me panic. I think it's the same for you and the mcs are the other side of the coin from your difficulties conceiving. But it doesn't mean you won't have a baby - you just need the right combination of treatment and good fortune that has eluded you so far.

Good plan about the ivf. Best wishes to you for that. My friend had a free cycle of ivf in return for egg donation. I don't know if that is something that is interesting or available to you (she is now over 35 so has to pay for ttc dc2) but thought I would mention it in case you hadn't heard of it and wanted to find out more.

So I have accepted I might miscarry again but am also hopeful that I might not. Annoyed that Australia means that if I do have a bfp this cycle I won't be here for the early scans, but chances are fairly slim any way and not sure I want to wait. Thought I felt ov symptoms today but maybe baby thing just arrived and showed no ferns. Charlie I am going to the central coast, armidale in nsw, Brisbane and port douglas. Will be a bit of a mission with a toddler in tow.