Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

Hi lurker, I use the MaybeBaby ovulation microscope instead of ov sticks www.maybebaby.com.au/ it's a bit more expensive in initial outlay (I bought mine in Oz for like 80 dollars, but I'm pretty sure you can buy it here) but then you're not shelling out for sticks every month. Your saliva changes when you're ovulating to a distinctive ferning pattern. It's pretty cool actually. You just DTD whwnever you see ferns, basically. I'm extremely lucky so both times we've taken around 3 months to get pregnant, I use the MB and temps (sometimes!) to track my cycle. And the fertility friend app.

Oops sorry, it was 400 mg progesterone like tanny, not 200 mg.

I'm on 200mg progesterone twice daily, and clexane 40mg once a day.

No steroids as that was normal as all my other tests...

7w today and dreading my scan next week...

It did use progesterone from BFP in my 4th MC too, it is far from a magic bullet. Prof Q recommends it from Cd21, they seem to think if it helps then it is from v early on, preparing the uterus for pregnancy. It's been shown to improve outcomes in IVF used in that way. I know the PROMISE trial is pending, does anyone know what protocol was tested there?

I'm supposed to take 200mg of progesterone twice daily from bfp, having failed to get pg for the first 3 months after Coventry. Also claxane from early scan. waiting with interest for the Promise study results. Got to get that elusive bfp...

Tiny I am willing you on. Next week's scan will be a huge milestone.

Ooh, that sounds interesting Charlie. I don't get on too well with thermometers and sticks and maybe if I shell out for one sod's law will make me pregnant straight away

Have ordered one. It was £32 on Amazon. It says it may not work properly if you have wonky hormones but that would be helpful to track too.

Tiny, I so understand! We're all here cheering you on when you have your scan. See-through tummies are the way to go! x

yep, maybe we could set up one of those micro cameras they use in surgery permanently through our belly button...

Hi all!

Sorry for going AWOL - I've not been in a very good place over the last few days... My mum visiting made it worse didn't help, so I went into survival mode.
I'm struggling with the thought that I would start mat leave about now, had my last pg worked out, and the thought is really bringing me down
I made the mistake to peep into the pg after mc thread for October babies, and they are all about to stop work, in the middle of birth prep etc., and I can't help thinking that this should have been me (I know I shouldn't have looked, but did it anyway).

Sigh.

I've just ovulated, but because I was in such a bad mood in the last few days, I didn't/couldn't do much about it - I'm still directing a lot of anger and frustration at DH (again, this was made worse with the stress from my mum visiting), but I really struggle to tell him about this. I just want him to be more involved with ttc. But don't want to put any pressure on him either, it's bad enough as it is.
We went for dinner on Sunday, and it was awful - the elephant in the room was undeniable, but all we talked about was work and DS, but it all felt really strained to me. This is really not healthy, but I can't seem to find a starting point to explain to him how I feel.

Sorry about the me post! I will try to catch up properly later tonight.

Aw cloud nothing wrong about a me post!!!

Mothers, hey... they do know what to do... I rever to teenage mode when near my parents...

Hi new to this and have today found out at my 12 week scan that the baby had no heartbeat and stopped developing at 7 weeks 4 days. Im utterly devastated as it's my second miscarriage in 6 months and I just don't know what to do anymore

Sruddy I am so sorry. We all here understanding how devastating a second miscarriage is, and finding out at the 12 week scan is particularly distressing. The NHS will not normally investigate miscarriages until you have had 3 or more, which reflects the fact that the chances of you having a third miscarriage remain low, but can be very frustrating. If you are interested in private testing we can tell you more about it. What would be particularly useful is if you can have the "products of conception" (sorry for the terminology) submitted for testing. Some hospitals will offer the option of paying for this privately - some you will have to push to find out if this is an option. If you miscarry naturally and wish to follow this route you will have to try and save the "products" which is no fun, but worth it if you can manage it.

Please try and look after yourself though, and take some time off work if possible to grieve. I am glad you have posted here - the women here understand what you're going through and can offer advice and support which I have found invaluable.

Cloud - sorry you are feeling low. I will post more later - dsis and dd are just coming through the door.

Hi Sruddy glad you popped across! This is a great group of ladies, very very supportive and lovely. Plus the thread moves a lot, we're a chatty bunch!

As lurker mentioned, if you ask they can normally do genetic testing as long as you're willing to pay. DH and I took that option at my ERPC a couple of weeks ago, although I'm waiting to hear if it actually happened as thus far no one has asked me to pay anything and the surgeon didn't seem to actually know what would happen re results. I need to go and see my GP but can't be bothered at the moment. It's just too much to handle :/ I've been told it will be "a couple of hundred pounds" but I'll let you know if I do eventually get a bill! The other thing is that if you're on the "older" side (seems to be from about 38) some GPs will start doing investigations for you after 2. Some of the other ladies in that position can add advice I'm sure.

Don't beat yourself up for whatever you're feeling right now. It's a huge amount to have to deal with - I know when we found out we were numb for a week or two, it was only a few days after the ERPC that it all hit me and the crying started in earnest. I have to say, I'm glad I went down the ERPC route. I was in & out of hospital within 4-5 hours, and while it didn't in any way make it easier, I could at least start focusing on healing my mind & body afterwards. I'm trying very very very hard to be positive about it all, although I have decided to seek private counselling as I think I'd benefit from talking everything through.

Sorry again hun xx

Hey all.

Feel v v tired today and got a bit weepy. Now I know why in having a 2nd week off work!!!! Signed off until Monday.

Took a pregnancy test yesterday, still showing as positive. Just want AF to get here now so I can start again.

Read Lesley Regans miscarriage book today. Going to push my docs on Wednesday but as only had 2, not particularly hopeful.

Still can't quite believe mc number 2 has happened

((( cloud ))) sorry you are having a hard time. Step away from the unhelpful threads - that's an order!

sruddy I'm really sorry you've suffered a second miscarriage. It's very difficult to come to terms with, you can't swallow the "just unlucky" line a second time, but the NHS isn't interested in helping you. Some sympathetic GPs will offer some basic tests - it's worth asking, and I second what longest said about genetic testing even if you have to pay for it. If the baby has a chromosome abnormality that gives you a reason and some closure and you can try again knowing you will have every chance of success, if it didn't that's a strong reason to be investigated for maternal causes before TTC again.

Hi brummie good on you for taking the time off. I've been half on half off this week (working from home) and it's not been great. Totally understand about wanting AF to arrive. I bought 2 tests the day I found out the baby's heart had stopped and now I can't find them, so frustrating. I know they're in the flat somewhere!

You seem to be around the same place as me, emotionally. I keep saying to the poor DH "but WHY? Why US?" Poor boy, he just doesn't have an answer to that.

Welcome to new posters, sorry to read your stories.

survivor I hope your erpc went well today, and you are looked after over the next few days. It sounds like you are all too familiar with the processes of mc and testing, but hope you find support here, and useful info about the NK cells route from those who have experience of it. sruddy sound advice has already been given, I hope you find the thread useful and a source of support. Hugs to you both.

cloud sorry you have not had the best few days. Is your DH unwilling to talk about the MC's, or trying again, or does he just think there's nothing left to say? I think its tricky ground to get through - it seems like many men just react very differently to women in these situations. I hope you find a way to open up the topic for conversation with him.

I spent a couple of days with siblings/their children..and really wouldn't have minded opening up to them. They don't know about the last two MC's. The time was never right though.

Thank you for all of the responses I really appreciate it. I definitely think asking is going to be an option for me and I really feel like that should be offered to everyone rather than having recurrent miscarriages it's so unfair. I'm 24 so don't think age has played a part but the not knowing is killing me and blaming myself is the easiest option. I haven't stopped crying. With my first miscarriage I was more accepting because there was bleeding but this time! I still feel pregnant. Swollen tender breasts and fatigue. I just can't bear it.

Hi all...and thank you for the thoughtful messages. It really means a lot.

The ERPC went fine today - felt like I knew more than the nurses! who were all great. Staff really took care of me.

SRuddy1 I know what you mean about your body looking/feeling pregnant still...it's so confusing and made me start questioning myself and my 'intuition' of my own pregnancy. I got home today and looked in the mirror to see my boobs still growing, still needing to wear different bras knowing you're no longer pg really hurts.

Go with the testing - just ask!!! My biggest regrets are always sitting in front of the GP/consultants and not asking the right q's. Now I try to research a little and note down points on my phone to help me drive the conversations a little, it can all get heavy in there..as charlieis30 said sometimes you just can't be bothered to make yourself go through it.

Going down the ERPC the first few times I miscarried helped, it led them to finding put more about chromosome abnormalities and can at least assist with ruling certain things out. The knowing of done stuff however little helps!

And with the crying...I get it. Anything is triggering me off right now but if that's what you need to do, do it. If I want to sit in my pyjamas all day I do. if there's people I'd rather not speak to for a whole, that's what I'll do. Whatever it takes to get you through this part..and you'll get through to the next part too.

Thanks again everyone..taking it 1 day at a time xxx

Oh btw dd, dh..I saw AF?? Dh=husband right? Sorry, still learning

AF = period, short for Aunt Flo I think.
DD dear or darling daughter, DS dear son, DH or DP husband or partner, DM mother, DF father or friend... Etc

and the very important DTD... doing the deed

And my personal favourite - the WTF cycle - that first cycle post-mc, where you have no clue what the f**k is going on!

I always assumed BD meant 'Bonking Daily' until someone else somewhere asked, and I realised it means 'Baby Dance'.

I am being naughty and already starting DTD before first AF - ah well!!
It's more for comfort than anything else but I don't intend to wait