Recurrent Miscarriage Support - tests, treatment, trying again - thread 11

[bakingtins]

Welcome everyone - pull up a chair! A thread for anyone who has suffered multiple miscarriages and is in need of information, moral support, tea or sympathy. Newbies very welcome.

Can we start the thread with a recap of where we are all up to again, please?

I phoned the consultant's secretary today and got her to open the letter up on her screen and talked her though it paragraph by paragraph dictating notes. I bet she just loves me now.... got to get these things just so.
In other news, (my boobs really hurt). Shhhhh. (It's probably nothing...)

Oh good luck Just! Good on you being assertive.

A friend of mine saw Professor Regan and recommended her book on MC so I've bought it - bless Amazon! A little light weekend reading...

Good luck just
Hooray for Hurty boobs.

BTW, met lurker today for lunch and it was great to have a good chat!

Yes, was lovely to meet Tiny. If anyone else ever fancies a meet up let me know! Tiny lent me that same book, Charlie. I will pass it forward when I have finished it so shout anyone if you want it.

Oh there's a lot of crying on this forum and now it's me. Friend pregnant and just text me. V happy for her but sad it couldn't be my turn. Feel so sorry for DH when I hear how easily it comes to most women xxx

So for my birthday my lovely DH has so far managed to write tomorrow's date on his card and gave DD the wrong stickers for her card making me one year older

Just - good on you and those symptoms sounds promising!! How many dpo are you?

How lovely tiny and longest - I would love to meet up as well sometime but I work full time so it's difficult to coordinate.

Yes professor Regan's book is a very good read indeed.

Cat - I know what you mean - it's not a race but still I do get upset with every pg announcement. I have given up now as everyone who had their first after me has already had their second or pg with second. So now I have accepted it.

I had this last year - most people who I had met through being pg with/having DS had their second or fell pg with their second. It was really tough, every announcement made me want to curl up like a ball and cry
It was worse if it were people I like, as I felt so guilty that I couldn't just be happy for them, instead of being jealous and full of self-pity.

I managed to get half-way through Prof Regan's book, but have to admit I got a bit frustrated. Lots of explanations as to why miscarriages can happen, well written and clear - but it didn't manage to reassure me... Might give it another go, now that I think I'm in a slightly better place, mentally...

Steeling myself for my mother's visit over the Bank holiday weekend... DS is so excited about her coming, but I'm a bit meh - she has the ability to drive me up the wall! I'm hoping that it won't be too bad this time, thankfully, she just wants to spend time with DS. Who knows, I might even get to go out on a date night with DH, while she is here, as she is desperate to babysit

Triple Where do you work? Tiny and I met for lunch half way between our offices.

Yes, it's very hard not to be jealous of all those bumps and babies. I am telling myself it's a good thing my dc2 will be younger than my friends' dc2s as I will have the benefit of their wisdom, hand-me-downs etc but positive thinking only gets you so far eh?

Good luck cloud. Do try and get out! We're off to see dh's extended family on Monday but otherwise it's a quiet one here. 2 more birthday parties for the social butterfly among us and might try and get the house in some sort of order but may have to do some work as has gone a bit mad.

That is what parents do. I turn into a teenager near mine...

triple where are you working? I'm full time as well but near St Paul's so have the central line near me for a quick hop.

Lurker and I met by the strand/ start of fleet street as it was between our offices...

Hmmmm. Part of my problem is that I'm not actually sure. I'm on CD 28, so af should be due, but this month I seemed to OV about 6 days late. If my LP stays 13-14 days, that should put me on course for af on Thursday 28th and put me on dpo8 now.

This has been the month of the school summer holidays so lots of relaxing and time for 'afternoon delight' as it were (DH often works from home), so the pressure has been off with ttc a bit. I've also been going for it with acupuncture, reflexology and also some cognitive hypnotherapy + lots of swimming. Who knows whether the late ov is the result of any one of those things or a combination.

Cloud hope the weekend goes OK.

Anyone heard from Tanny?

Just - fx!! Your summer hols sound wonderfully relaxing. Which have you preferred, acupuncture or reflexology?

Longest, tiny - I am at Liverpool street - so we can definitely meet sometime for a coffee!!

Triple Great - sounds like that Fleet Street pret could become a regular haunt!

Have you POAS yet Just? Well done on the healthy lifestyle. I haven't been doing so well with the exercise plan as am still under the weather, but have been eating a bit more healthily and think it might be making a little bit of a difference. My clothes don't feel quite as tight.

Hope your birthday treat is good Tiny.

Hi all.
How are we today? I'm feeling a bit "stronger" today - physically that is. Got dressed and left house for first time since coming home from hospital, to be fair though it was needs must. I had no food in house!! Went to Waitrose and my heart broke seeing nappies on the beauty aisle.

As for emotionally, still a mess. Dreading work on Tuesday but I know it's the right thing to do. Otherwise I will only sit and be emotional by myself.

So I'm veering from desperately wanting to try again to be shit quite frankly, shit scared.

But anyway I've decided to book an appointment with GP to see what I can do. Although its only my 2nd mc I'm hoping being nearly 38 means they might do something!!!!

So ladies, please help. What do I need to ask? I've read the whole thread this morning to try and understand a bit more of your journeys and there lots of different treatments flying around.

Any advice would be wonderful. What do I need to ask for,0?

Brummie. Glad to hear you're feeling physically stronger, though of course you are still finding it tough. You need to ask for a referral to your local recurrent miscarriage clinic, or indeed the RMC of your choice. I am afraid I don't know how easy this will be after two mcs. I didn't have any difficulty persuading my gp to refer me even though one of my miscarriages was a chemical pregnancy and I know some others on this thread managed to get a referral when 2 mcs were accompanied by difficuties in conceiving.

If you do have trouble, your gp could still order some blood tests for you if he she is minded to - I was tested for insulin and thyroid function, as well as various clotting disorders. None of these disorders are specific to miscarriage patients so there would be nothing to stop the gp ordering the tests, although they may be unwilling to do so unless you have other symptoms.

If you don't fit the criteria for an NHS referral you could look into private treatment. I had some insurance which covered me for 1500 of treatment. I have spent just over 1000 of it so far and this has covered the two consultations and all the blood tests the consultant recommended, and it turns out I could have kept the costs lower by asking the private consultant to recommend the tests I need and then getting my GP to order them. You don't always need a GP letter for a private appointment. Since you are close by you could also try self-referring to Prof Quenby's implantation clinic in Coventry but from what I understand this is an additional set of tests that would normally be performed after the usual RMC tests have been carried out. You could ask though - Prof Quenby's PA's email address is on their website and she has been quite quick to respond to my questions.

Good luck, and keep posting! I am sure others on this thread will have more useful advice.

Afternoon all, happy Friday. Struggletown today, my emotional state seems to be getting worse & worse. Off to counselling in a week, but it feels a long time until then! Stupid thing, but my skin has been horrible since I went off the pill last year, and got progressively worse through my 2 pregnancies/mcs, culminating in the worst acne of my life at the moment. It's really impacting my self esteem, GP gave me a presc for an antibiotic which cleared it up a bit but my face is still really angry! It's always been worse when I'm stressed so not good :/

Let me know when you guys plan to meet up, I work from home in NW London so am very flexible. Lucky me, given everything that's going on at the moment!

I've found myself going back to the baby pinterest boards I made during my first pregnancy, even though I managed to stay off them through the 2nd one. It's weird that I'm drawn back, I guess it's like picking a scab. I'm torturing myself with pictures of prams and cots. ARGH.

Brummie - longest has summarised it well for you. I would add that it was a struggle going back to work but in some ways once you get busy you will feel better. First few days I felt like a zombie - but today was a good day - felt like back to normal!

Yay - so longest, tiny, Charli when shld we organise the next one? Maybe in 2-3 weeks time?

Just - when do you plan to test?

Sorry to hear it's been a difficult day Charlie. I know what you mean about torturing yourself. But maybe deep down it is because we haven't given up hope we will get there in the end? Rubbish about your skin. I bet it is the hormones and stress and will calm down soon but I know what you mean. I feel like if I can't be pregnant I should at least be feeling more glamorous but instead I have felt one or more of overweight, ancient, haggard, full of cold and bleeding ever since.

2-3 weeks' time is good and I am generally around Mon, tues and thurs. I go away for three weeks from 23rd Sept to oz for BIL' s wedding. Kind of dreading it tbh but bits of it will be good.

On the upside dd is at a nice stage. She has been playing with her peppa pig camper van by herself for a good 40 mins. I can listen to her natter away to herself while lying on the sofa on mumsnet. This is a revelation as she is usually quite full on.

Update: BFN. But since I seem to be on dpo8 of what's looking like a 32/33 day cycle going by OV date, I think it's too early to call...

((Hugs)) Charlie, it properly sucks, but it does get better.

Waves to everyone! xx

Keep us posted Just. We're in suspense too! Happy long weekend everyone.

I'll be working the Sunday and Monday so no long weekend for me..bah.
cat do your talk to your DH about how you feel sorry for him because he/you don't have any DC yet? Hopefully he would be able to reassure you a bit, but sorry yesterday wasn't a good day for you.
just will you now test obsessively or wait a good few days? How frustrating to have a confusing cycle.
Charlie good you have counselling next week and hope it helps. For me, I have got good at seeing baby paraphenalia and being ok, but baby gro's are the things I forbid myself to look at.
Brummie I think what you should ask has already been covered. All depends on what your GP is like. Maybe you could go with the attitude of 'what can you offer me?' - and be firm that you be offerred Something. Be it some blood tests to look at your general health, thyroid, clotting, or a referral to a RMC.

My mother also visiting tomorrow - I also tend to turn into a teen around her. She doesn't know about last 2 mc and I have a feeling she knows something has been going on - hope I can divert her with DS!

So 29 days post mc it seems I have AF -Which should be a good thing but its odd..not really getting going, v v light. Last time the first AF was nearly as bad as the mc. Has anyone else had this?

Charlie sorry to hear about your skin. I suffer with breakouts on my chin and forehead so can sympathise. Your hormones really get messed about by mc, there's a good chance it's all that. The stress of everything won't help either. Just be careful with the gel when you're ttc. Not good for baby...

Bootles my AFs are always very heavy but I know mc can effect AF so that it's lighter or heavier than normal. Hopefully by next cycle it will be more back to normal but maybe if not check with your GP?! I had a good chat with DH as you suggested and he was lovely and reassuring thank you, I still wish he could have children though.

Just keeping everything crossed for that BFP!!! Let us know what happens. 8DPO is far to early for a test though

I would like to meet up too so do let me know. I live near Birmingham but can get the train to London or Manchester easily enough!

XxX

AF now turned into a heavy flood - that's more what I expected. So guess I am at the start of my cycle again. We will ttc whilst awaiting results from last mc. If there was no chromosomal abnormality then I guess Coventry is the next step. I am reluctant to try it though, I think because it seems unlikely NK cells are the cause - all my mc's have been different, and for at least two there was a known cause. Ugh back on the ttc crazy wagon...

cat your DH sounds lovely. Am still thinking there is a very good chance for you guys x