Mmc what now? Can you please share your experience?

[TeaRex]

Hello, I had my 12 week scan on Thursday and it seems my baby died at 9 weeks so a mmc. I'm absolutely devastated, shocked and overwhelmed by everything I'm feeling at the moment. I've been told I have to wait until next Thursday the 16th for a follow up scan for confirmation I assume and then my options will be discussed.

My heart's breaking but I'm also filled with a sense of utter dread over the choice I'll have to make next week, I understand it will be wait it out for nature to work, take some tablets or have a d&c/erpc? The Mother nature/pills options scare me as I'm not sure I'm mentally strong enough at the moment to handle the physical and mental pain of a miscarriage. The erpc option also scares me though as I had a retained placenta after my dd's birth and I'm worried having this op again will increase my chances of Asherman's syndrome :( my heads going round and round and it's making everything so much worse as I feel like I'm unable to start grieving properly for my baby :(

I realise that the hurt I feel can only ease with time but if I can ask you all for your experiences with the direction you took with your mmc, and if in retrospect you were happy with your decision? The only person I know in real life who's experienced this is my mother who had many many miscarriages before having my sister, but this was back in the 70's so I wanted to hear from others who have gone through this. Also anyone reading who's trying to make the same decision right now? Sorry for all your losses, :( I have had a read through some threads and there's so much sadness but also so much strength which is a real inspiration and comfort to me right now, thank you for reading xxxx

I have set up the fb group, its secret so cannot be searched for.

If anyone watching this thread, even lurking and not actually commenting would like to be added please PM me your name and I will add you.

X x

Have PM'd you!

I'm back from the hospital. All over. The worst day of my life.
It took a long time to get going after they put the pessary in but when it started, it started. The baby was one of the first things to come out, after a massive gush of blood. Then it has just been a lot of pain and blood. The doc had to examine me before we left and found quite a lot of the sac around my cervix which he removed.
Sorry if all of that was TMI but I needed to write it down.
I need to go back on Friday for a scan but he thought almost everything has come out.
Been given antibiotics but not starting than til tomorrow so I can get drunk tonight. Been signed off til next Monday but they have said to go back to docs to get more time if I need it, which I think I will. I'm finding this so hard. I think misery said she was feeling numb. That is exactly it. I just feel nothing. I've barely cried today, which for me, in a situation like this, is very unusual. I just feel nothing. This is going to take me a while.
Sorry for the epic post. It's been cathartic to get it all out.
I would like to join the fb group. Jazzy, I'll send you a message soon.
Thank you fit everything this week ladies.

Fizzy, I am so glad it went as well as this could and hopefully everything is out and you wont need any follow up stuff.

Numb is exactly how I felt after I had the op. Today it's hit me hard, but tomorrow I will probably be numb again.

You are so brave for going through this, I could not have coped with seeing my baby.

I've got a line for 2 weeks off college, but right now I can't see that being long enough. I really hope it is, as I'd like to get back to a routine and stay busy but I can't imagine it at this point.

Have just joined the FB page so will see you over there.

Hi all, was having a very angry day yesterday :( but at least I channeled it into something proactive, got lots of odd jobs done round the house and this morning I booked a skip for Saturday as we're going to get started on clearing out the garden (which is an absolute state).
fizzy I'm really pleased for you that the medical management worked well and quickly and I too think ladies that choose this option are so strong, I know I couldn't handle it, hopefully you and jazzy can help each other through this. I would be up for joining the Facebook group but I have decided to go over to the ttc forum as well when I get a moment to post. It might take me ages but I need to think ahead, I'm a planner and actually have realised in the last year or so I'm a bit of a 'Monica' and need to feel like in in control and I think being over there will help me. I'd be happy to join your Facebook group and would keep the ttc separate but understand that it might conflict with how you three are feeling right now so maybe have a chat in face book and see what you think, I'll completely understand if you'd rather keep it as is and I've always got mumsnet to keep in touch with you all xxxx

Nooo Tea I think the FB group is different to how I thought it would be. It's just going to be us ladies, from this thread and obviously we've already discussed some of us are going to ttc asap. I genuinely want to hear about all of us moving forward, it was more just the idea that if we invited others into the group months down the line, when they have just been through what we had months ago, we might appear insensitive. But I don't think it's going to be that kind of group. More a support for us women who have had this happen so recently, rather than an ungoing support for others to join. Make sense? My brain is fried and I keep rambling.

Please come join us and post about ttc! I have no idea where to begin as this baby was unplanned and had never wanted babies before this, so I would love advice and just someone to chat to about it :)

Morning ladies,
Tea you are welcome to join, so far its me, misery, and fizzy on there and the idea is that if any other ladies join this thread over the next few weeks they can join as we are all at the same stage and then in a couple if weeks maybe stop posting to this thread and use the fb group instead?
I've had a teary morning, its 1 week since my scan and also braved toddler group with my dd and burst out crying as soon as one of the ladies gave me a hug.
But they were very supportive, asked what had happened, how i was feeling etc and it was actually nice just telling them bluntly what was what!!
I've also decided not to pursue bringing baby home, i quiet like the thought of all the babies going together.

Oh jazzy, that's nice the ladies were so understanding, that must be a real comfort, I'm still not ready to tell people, I don't know why I'm like this with grief, always have been think I just need to be able to process it on my own terms in my own time, I'm odd like that. I'll pm you my details x