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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Am I going to have another miscarriage?

104 replies

foundintranslation · 07/07/2006 17:14

Had a positive pg test - faintish line but clear enough and not really faint - last Friday when I was about 3 days late. By my reckoning I must be about 5 + 3 now. Went to the gyn today to have the pg confirmed. They did a test which I didn't see, then a transvaginal scan (usual over here). The gyn said he could see a sac but not that he could see anything in it (it wasn't the best quality image but I could see the sac couldn't see anything in it either) and took blood to check the hCG levels - the results of that should be back on Monday afternoon. He said things to the effect that we need to keep cool and see what happens - not that he thought I might miscarry - but when I asked him directly he did indicate that things were behind what he might expect at this stage. As I was going out I asked the assistant who'd done the pg test what the result was and she said it was a 'really faint' positive. When I got home I did the other test in the pack and the line was exactly the same strength as a week ago - not really faint but not strong either. I have to admit I have a not very positive feeling . I don't have pg 'symptoms', apart from an increased need to go to the loo since yesterday, but I didn't in my last, successful pg either. Am I going to have another mc (I had one, also at about 5/6 weeks, before ds)? After my last pg was successful I really wasn't expecting this to repeat itself and am having a really hard time right now. Has anyone got any stories of similar things happening and everything being OK? I'm feeling guilty too - when I did the test last week it was a bit of a shock and at first I did wish I wasn't pg - but that all changed over the weekend and I realised I was really, really looking forward to this baby. Can't help thinking it was something I did
Would appreciate any advice or just a listening ear!

OP posts:
cadbury · 12/07/2006 17:37

really sorry FIT.

sunchowder · 12/07/2006 17:58

So sorry to see this FIT, I had read about this over the weekend and was thinking of you. There is nothing I can saynto comfort you I am sure. Just wanted to know that my thoughts are with you.

cupcakes · 12/07/2006 18:16

I am so sorry to read this, FIT. Hope you find the time to rest and look after yourself.
xxx

bobbynog · 12/07/2006 21:06

Sorry FIT, i read your thread the other day, but didn't know what to add.
I hope it all goes well tomorrow - i had a d&c a couple of months ago - it is usually a simple op, and i was home after a couple of hours. I went for that option as it got it all over and done with relatively quickly.
Thinking of you.

RachelRose · 12/07/2006 22:30

So sorry FIT - I've been following the thread and I so hoped for a different outcome for you.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow, but it will be OK. You'll be back and can give your DS a massive big hug.

xxx

Pruni · 12/07/2006 22:47

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 13/07/2006 08:24

thinking of you this morning FIT
HC xx

BettySpaghetti · 13/07/2006 08:29

Thinking of you - so sorry you're having to go through this

Greensleeves · 13/07/2006 08:52

Thinking of you today. Have lit a candle for you. GS xxx

emkana · 13/07/2006 09:12

Thinking of you XX

Ellbell · 13/07/2006 10:30

Thinking of you this morning, FIT.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/07/2006 11:35

im so sorry FIT xxx

Original poster
foundintranslation · 13/07/2006 16:57

I'm back from the D&C. Got there just after 7 and waited in a room with a 19-year-old who had mc at 10 weeks - she showed me her scan pictures poor girl. I was pretty miserable and had a quiet cry. Just after 8 they took me down and got me ready - everyone was really lovely. I was under pretty much immediately and when I woke up I felt much better somehow. The 19-year-old was straight after me and when she came to she was really upset so I held her hand for a bit and told her how I had had a baby after my first mc. Soon after that dh and ds came, I felt fine so got up, and we spent the morning hanging around the hospital as they wouldn't let me go until at least 4 hours after. The whole place was full of memories as it's a tiny hospital so they have the gyn and maternity wards all mixed up together - the last time I was there was having ds -, and it was hard too sometimes as I kept seeing hugely pg people and mums carrying tiny newborns. We finally got out just before 2. I felt amazingly physically OK, so we had an ice-cream in town and then walked (very slowly) home, a really beautiful route through woods and barley fields, while ds slept in the pram. The walk really did me a lot of good, and I still don't feel too wiped out now. I'm not in pain at all, luckily. Now I'm just glad it's over and glad to be home, just have a very quiet sadness underlying everything, which gets louder when I think about it too much.
Thank you so very very much for all your thoughts. It really is such a huge comfort.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 13/07/2006 17:01

I'm so glad it's over FIT, so sorry you had to go through it but glad it's over.

I'm amazed and touched that you were able to give comfort and kindness to someone else while you were going through this. It is typical of you

I'm glad you were able to have a walk and feel a bit better this afternoon. GS xxx

harpsichordcarrier · 13/07/2006 19:41

hello fit you have been in all our thoughts.
sending love Hc xx

emkana · 13/07/2006 20:05

FIT - greensleeves hat ja so recht - es ist wirklich unglaublich und bewundernswert, dass Du es in einer solchen Situation noch schaffst, einem anderen Menschen Trost zuzusprechen.
Ganz liebe Gruesse an Dich.

SherlockLGJ · 13/07/2006 20:07

Aw FIT have been unable to post but I have been thinking of you.

Original poster
foundintranslation · 14/07/2006 08:35

Thank you all for your kind messages.It's good to know people are thinking about me.

ach em - ich hab so ein Lob nicht wirklich verdient - bin und fühle mich jetzt so überhaupt nicht mutig.

Greeny love, thank you so much for all your kind thoughts. I don't feel very lovely atm - full of guilt for being so anxious about the pg at the beginning. How I long for this baby now. Feel almost like I'm being punished. It's all a bit hard to bear atm.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 14/07/2006 08:42

good morning FIT. you are lovely, whether you feel it or not. Feelings of guilt are natural but try not to dwell on them if you can.
what do you have planned for this weekend?

dublindee · 14/07/2006 08:54

FIT - so sorry you had to go through this
take care of yourself

xx

Original poster
foundintranslation · 14/07/2006 09:22

thanks harpsi and dublindee. harpsi - I was supposed to be volunteering in local children's library on Sat but really not sure if I'll be up to it (it's also an hour's trip each way) so cancelled last night. Sunday we are going as a family to a church service and lunch - haven't cancelled that as hoping it will be OK. Also quite a trip but I won't be on my own.
Got to go for another blimming scan at the gyn today to check all is 'well'. I'm very glad to be so well looked after but really don't want to see another scan of my poor empty womb.

OP posts:
Ellbell · 14/07/2006 11:18

Oh FIT, you are lovely, you know... You have given me (and, I know, many others) so much support over much more trivial things than this.

Please don't torment yourself over this. You are not being punished. How could you be? You have done nothing wrong! Nothing that you could have done or thought or said could have changed what has happened. And, although you may have 'lost' this baby, please remember that your baby was nothing more than the love that you and your dh have for one another made flesh. That love still exists, and nothing can take that away from you.

I'll be thinking of you over the weekend.

Arabica · 14/07/2006 13:44

Sorry to read this, I remember how wretched I felt when I had my m/c and you posted something lovely and supportive. Am thinking of you.

Original poster
foundintranslation · 14/07/2006 22:14

Ellbell thanks. Have emailed you.

Arabica, thank you for your message - aren't you due soon? Good luck!

OP posts:
Original poster
foundintranslation · 20/07/2006 13:20

I'm sorry to resurrect this.
I've been back at work this week. I could have been off but I've got so much end-of-semester stuff to organise, assessments to conduct, stuff to mark, students who want to see me, and if I don't do it now I'll have to do it later and later I just don't have time, so I need to get it done. At home I've got ds (who's wonderful, beautiful, a real lifesaver, of course), work for uni and am having to read through and check dh's funding applications, worry about money and about our potential move. Right now I'm having to make and hand in plans for courses I wouldn't have done if I'd stayed pg as I would have been on maternity leave. I just came on here for a quick break and a (completely innocent and innocuous) thread has just knocked me over. I wanted that baby so much, I want to have that baby back inside me, I want two children, I feel so guilty for having been so worried when I found out I was pg. I'm doing so well at being philosophical about it and getting on with things and promising myself we'll try again soon, I even started ringing friends again yesterday, but I'm just so miserable and self-pitying now, why me, why a second time, and will it happen a third time? I can't stop getting on with things, the tears are coming but I can't cry, because a) I'm at work and b) if I cry I won't stop.
I've got to go offline now and get things done. But I needed to get that out.

OP posts: